What's the quickest (preferably painless) way to commit suicide

Look up the Helium Mask method. It's the quickest and painless way to kill yourself. You'll only need about 50$ to set everything up.

Plugged in toaster, kitchen sink and hot water. Seriously get help with your mind.

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Everyone is always like "get help, we care, there's so much to live for" no there isn't. Death is the only way out, there's absolutely no point to life, and everyone is jealous they had the balls to do what you're about to do.

"Exit bag". Google it. It's the best suicide method, anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

Just make sure to buy 99%+ NITROGEN mixture, not helium. Most helium companies have increased the amount of oxygen in the helium tanks, making suicide basically impossible using them.

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>purchase legit superman costume
>go to roof of tall building
>fail to leap tall building in single bound
at least the EMTs and people walking by will get a laugh

waiting for stream link

Kek that shit doesn't work. Where do you get 100% from a brewery? This whole set cost 900 dollar from exit international and doesn't work.

or better yet fuck a stream link how about you just go get help guy and posting on Yea Forums is just gonna make it worse people on here wanna see dead bodies hints the rekt threads get some help and stop burdening people with you crys for help, help yourself cuck or just kill yourself get a gun

Wet a cotton towel and tie it around your neck.
Get drunk, probably beforehand, so you pass out easily. Do this in a warm room. The towel will shrink as it dries while youre sleeping and strangle you.

This planet got more to give to you my man, gods got a plan for u, hold on and don't do something stupid

That's retarded.

Fuck off nigger I want to die and be immortalised on the one place I find enjoyment

And you will pee yourself. Bullshit
If you glue soap under your balls you will break your dick too

I don't get it. Explain please

You do not need help figuring a way to kill yourself, it's easy as fuck. If you're gonna do it, do it. Don't go calling for help from strangers online.

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Least painful / quickest, done right, is shotgun to the face (or anything else that will aerosolize your brain matter).

Cheapest option (for you, anyhow) is just straight environmental (jumping off a building, electrocution, etc).

Personally since you're going for showmanship, pick something unique (one dude jumped in a vat of 1500C+ metal and exploded?). You only die once, might as well be the dude who went out like a legend.

>got a plan
If the plan is to torment me constantly it's working

Isn't carbon monoxide poisoning pretty good? Like car in garage. But first call suicide hotline 10 different times first! After 3 you are gonna be convinced it's not gonna work but that is a fallacy of analogy. Try to keep an open mind

antifreeze, its sort of a drunk high, and then your liver shuts down

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Official_Table_of_Drops
Hanging done right.

Train explosion

Yeah a creative way would be good and a shotgun is out of the question since I am British

Train explosion?

Why not turn to crime for a quick buck and go fuck your cares away with some nice hookers instead? What have you got to lose?

Don't do the helium or nitrogen or whatever shit. You won't find 100% stuff and getting any oxygen into your lungs while breathing that stuff will cause pain and may lead to you becoming a total retard rather than dead. Look for a high place, jump head first. If you're too afraid, get some booze or invent some shit that makes you fall when you fall asleep.

car running inside a garage. or burn a log of wood on stove top burner with exhaust turned off.

Stop begging for attention on the internet faggot. If you were really serious you would just do it. Please fucking kys waste of space

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It’s a good method, especially if you have an undiscovered trove of nudes.

That's what I'm trying to do faggot

Shaddap cockhead. Some fags need advice with this shit.

Gas, Overdose of alc benzos and opiodes,shotgun,Explosives (sulphur and magnesium mixed together 50/50), head on traintrack

Trains are everywhere and free to use.
Easy too, you just stand there and close your eyes and listen to your airpods

>a shotgun is out of the question since I am British
I understood that it was very possible to get a non-repeating (break-barrel) shotgun in the UK. Am I wrong?

If you have a car go on a highway go really fast, take something to fall asleep. Make sure to disable airbags.

touch the middle rail of the train track (the rail the power goes through) and touch another one also
Kills you instantly.

>one dude jumped in a vat of 1500C+ metal and exploded
fkn lol'd

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Kek stupid fuck. Electrocution is one of the most brutal, painful ways to die ever. The fact that its a capital punishment is unforgivable

Looks like anyone can get a Shotgun Permit. Except in Northern Ireland, where you don't even need one.

My preferred method would be:
*Find bridge high above water where you can get access
*Get large camping backpack with straps for waist and shoulders (to keep from slipping off). Fill with scrap steel and/or rocks
*Get large bottle of strong alcohol
*Get shotgun, saw off barrel

Put sawn-off shotgun in backpack with metal/rocks. Drink alcohol. Sit on high bridge railing over water. Lean back, so that backpack pulls you towards water. Shoot self in head with shotgun. Gravity will pull you back into water, backpack will pull you to bottom. Alcohol will insure you don't struggle, even if you survive head wound from shotgun.

lol same but with weed.. wanna swap?

well good news is is you're not gonna do it because you would've done it already, anyway my preferred method would be to go with eating mushrooms, waiting till the peak then drink some strong opium tea and acid and then idk ket or something presumably the ope would keep me sedate enough till the od is done
could slit the wrists too for aestetics

Again no shotgun but I'll take your advice with the high places since everyone is suggesting it, I'll post follow up thread tomorrow with stream link

do not do it, you will find happiness in your life

A fistful of warfarin, and a few 16 gauge needles to the femoral artery ought to do it.

tell that faggot to get a better plan

don't make these irresponsible if you are not the one that receives the consequences

the old fashion head-on-the-rail

Many of us don’t have garages. Also, newer cars shut off/have sensors if too much is detected. Otherwise great option

*irresponsible claim

sorry as you all know I am a retarded faggot

Disable smoke alarms first. Neighbors might call cops/fire dept and save you. Also, Smoke inhalation from a burning log of wood on the stove sounds like a fucking horrible way to die. And if you fuck it up your house is also fucked.

Can anyone confirm??

what time tho? I don't want to miss it.

electrocution, you might as well use one of those electric chairs from the old prisons

A fall of 75 to 150 feet is guaranteed to be fatal

There's plenty of synthetic heroin in bongland, buy a gram and shoot it all at once, swallowing or shorting won't do the trick because it can be removed

the only 100% guaranteed method (trains and shotguns are both 99.99%)
step 1 remove the explosive powder from a few airbags
step 2 eat the powder

the powder explodes when it comes in contact with metal so do not use metal to extract the powder and do not do this if you have metal fillings

buy 2 tons of apples, extract all the seeds, grind them finely and consume all at once. the cyanide in the apple seeds will kill you and people won't suspect a thing

there is an antidote for cyanide there is no antidote for airbag powder

in other words if you ate the airbag powder in a hospital emergency room you will still die

No, a fall from 75-150 is 100%, no human would survive

might as well go skydiving and take off the parachute midair

vesna vulovic survived a fall of 33,000 feet without a parachute

Man, think of all the cock you could have in your juicy butt. Why not enjoy some good dicking first? Also cocain... for real.. how you gonna fucking leave this world without trying cocain? Think of all the titties you could fondle man! ITS OUT THERE! Ugly bitches need loving too! Besides... dying is not a reset button my dude... it just ends you chances of doing some cool shit. You dont know where you will go on the other side. No one does. Massive risk my dude... especially with all them throbbing cocks just waiting to plow your prostate.

tell your mother how youre feeling. she loves you

find a gun? If you go for the T box on your face or shoot out your brainstem you should be insta-lights out with no pain.For security tie a rope around your neck.

no guarantee you won't survive an airbag either

i bet you gone fuck it all up... and writhe in pain for days cus no one fucking cares about you so no one is going to come check that you are ok so you going to feel pain for days on end till you finally die of thirst... then some dog is going to come by and shit on your face and that is how you will be remembered. Way to go user. Way to go. Keep this shit up bitch and find out. I am watching.

no one has survived consuming 10+grams of sodum azide and antidotes are not physically possible

dont pussy out. live your fucking life

because there aren't as many people consuming sodium azide as people fell from the sky, a dataset is only reliable when it has a large enough sample size

because people are stupid and are okay taking that .01% chance by shooting themselves in the face

get some helium and a mask without any leaks conect one to other and to your face, quick and you wont even know what happened

Or... or... you know... you could just quit being a pussy and finally start eating enough food, drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, block out everything else, and focus on becoming a winner and pretend that everything in the past is gone and you have a new chapter, and you can succeed and get some true genuine friends, be social and have fun again, smell the good smells that are out there, see the good sights that are out there, and experience the best there is out there... you know there is a worst out there but surely you know there is also a best and you can experience it? Its possible man you just have to say yes. Do it. THe good life exists, its not a fantasy, its not a carrot on the stick, it can happen if you choose it. Happiness is a choice friend. Everything is your choice. You want to be rich? Its your choice. You want to see how good this life can get? Its your choice. Its real bro. You have the control. No one else has control over you. No one. They say they do, but no they dont. You have the control. If you want to achieve your goals you can do it.

Alright man. Only way I can help you now is the secret to going from broke to rich. Start a business. LLC. Drop shipping. Shopify. Find suppliers. Sell to people and make profit. Also, Tony Robbins changed my life at one of his events I went to... for sure do that atleast once. Alright bro, good luck, and dude.. you are allowed to be happy. You are allowed to enjoy life. You are allowed to be wealthy. You are allowed to be healthy. Its all your choice now.

this, except the cock thing. Don't be a pussy, take your hard times like a man and take responsibility for your own life.
>profit

exit bag. it's legit just breathing in gas basically

Suicide is selfish you are just burdoning the people that like you with the mess of your death. just sort your life out

"or.. or... you know... just get good"
"if put in the work 100% of people can become the top 10%"

that's how fucking retarded you sound

> im smart I dont even attack his main points and I call him the retard hurr hurr

>telling suicidal person he is a burden
>telling suicidal person "just sort it out"
good job faggot

Oh, fuck off. You can promise that to anyone, but the reality is that only 5% of people are actually going to get that far and you know it.

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nitrogen hypoxia

most people dont even fucking try no shit only 10% get to the top 10%

yeah cus most people dont even fucking try bitch

and so it was their own fault after all.
good point.

what if I tried and failed? do I get a free pass for killing myself now?

Ok anons final step I have everything planned I just need a streaming site I can use, need suggestions

im out OP im drunk and living life... just get your shit together alright? Life can be good if you pursue it. Again, its your choice.

success happens after much failure.. no one succeeds without failure... the ones that succeed just dont give up

yep... world is full of people who just give up and then blame everyone else for why they couldnt keep going

good advise for people with gambling problem

>that spacing
(You) strikes again

just buy a bunch of painkillers and then any method of suicide will be pretty painless if you dont feel anything

gambling is giving up bitch... you are literally giving up all your money away to people smarter than you who are happy to take your fucking money

shut up, the idiot doesnt know

yeah, never give up in taking chances, except in the game of taking chances, because that mean you are giving up

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also Earth leakage circuit breaker are more and more common in bathrooms so you'll probably not die just get a flimmer in your heart that one day just kills half your brain. suddenly you're a retard now you have a real reason to kys

there is no taking chances... there are calculated risks which is way different... you truly are stupid but you think you sound smart by trying to trap me into an infinite loop. Taking chances literally means throwing your life away. Risk is much different. Please.. use proper terms if you want to sound smart.

>Dig a hole
>line it with some plastic bags so it can hold some liquid
>place some stakes in it like you would in a trap
>throw gasoline inside
Drink a lot of alcohol, take some pain pills, maybe some benzos

>light thing on fire
>jump

Death would be a combination of overdose, impalement and burning.

And... expected returns requires mitigating risk. Thats the entire fucking lesson of finance. You never take unneccesary risk because it doesnt give you profit and it is just an expense.

I've worked out that cutting deep enough in both wrists and drifting off to your favourite song whilst drunk would be the best way to go. But in all seriousness get some help and dont do it. It's not quick, but definitely a sure fire way to die and would only really hurt on the first cuts. (shouldn't hurt too much afterwards because you're drunk)

>hurr hurr im smart try to break out of this one retard