I REALLY CANNOT HANDLE BEING ALIVE ANYMORE. MY MIND CONSTANTLY WARPS EXPERIENCES AND COMES UP WITH ITS OWN THOUGHTS. IT EXISTS ONLY TO TORTURE ME. I FINALLY RELAXED AFTER WEEKS OF PARANOIA AND PANIC AND BEING IN PARTIAL CONTROL OF MY THOUGHTS. I MANAGE TO CALM DOWN AND THE NOSTALGIA KICKS IN LOL. I NEVER LIKE ANYTHING I DO IN THE MOMENT BUT AFTER IT PASSES THINGS I HATED BECOME BEAUTIFUL THINGS I'D LOVE TO REPEAT. RIGHT NOW IM THINKING ABOUT MY FAVORITE CLASS AND HOW PATHETIC AND DISGUSTING I AM. EVEN ON THE INTERNET PEOPLE DO NOT WANT TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME, I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I WAS NOT PROPERLY SOCIALIZED LEADING ME TO BECOME SELF CENTERED AND UNABLE TO NORMALLY INTERACT WITH PEOPLE.
I REALLY CANNOT HANDLE BEING ALIVE ANYMORE. MY MIND CONSTANTLY WARPS EXPERIENCES AND COMES UP WITH ITS OWN THOUGHTS...
Ryder Peterson
Jordan Jackson
Moo.
Colton Cooper
nice dubs, beare got all his social skills from the voices in beares head and the girls that think that makes beare special. leading beare to have quite the ego, but the menfolk (like yourself) don't really seem to like beare
Lincoln Taylor
SO LET ME START OFF WITH DESCRIBING MY CURRENT ISSUE. I RARELY DERIVE ANY PLEASURE FROM ANYTHING I DO, DRUGS AT THIS POINT ONLY FUCK ME UP AND I DONT LIKE THEM SO I QUIT EVERYTHING BUT BUD. I HAVENT REALLY SMOKED TODAY THOUGH OR DONE ANYTHING. SO I WAKE UP AT 2:00 PM AND I THINK "SHOULD I HAVE REALLY STAYED UP UNTIL 3:00 AM LAST NIGHT?" OF COURSE NOT I HATE WAKING UP IN THE AFTERNOON AND STAYING UP LATE. I USED TO DO THAT AND I ALWAYS GOT YELLED AT. I HATE WAKING UP LATE. SO NOW IM THINKING I SLEEP LESS TO CONSERVE TIME. USUALLY I SLEEP FOR 13 OR 14 HOURS A DAY. YEAH, IM DEPRESSED LOL.
Joshua Jenkins
try working out
Zachary Thompson
SO I WAKE UP RIGHT. I DIDN'T CHARGE MY PHONE BECAUSE I GOT SO STONED LAST NIGHT I WAS BORDERLINE HALLUCINATING. I DONT REALLY LIKE WEED BUT I THINK IT MAY HELP DISTRACT ME. SO I WAKE UP AND I GO BACK TO SLEEP. I THEN WAKE BACK UP AND I FORGET WHAT I DO UNTIL 4:00. AT THE MOMENT IM TRYING TO GET THROUGH A TEXTBOOK TO DISTRACT ME FROM MYSELF BUT I CANT CONCENTRATE. I LISTEN TO THE SAME MUSIC OVER AND OVER, BUT THAT FOR SOME REASON MAKES ME RESTLESS AND ANXIOUS. I CANNOT GET COMFORTABLE SO I TRY TO RELAX MYSELF. IM FEELING LIKE SHIT RIGHT, SO OBVIOUSLY I GATHER UP A LITTLE TOBACCO SINCE THAT SHOULD RELAX ME. BUT IT DIDN'T, I DRANK COFFEE AND SMOKED SO I HAD A PANIC ATTACK AND HEARD MY THOUGHTS TELLING ME SHIT THINGS AND RANDOM SHIT SO I STOP THINKING.
Colton Cruz
BUT IM ALSO BOTHERED BY INSECTS I FUCKING HATE THEM DO MUCH. I GO OUTSIDE AND SEE HORSE FLIES WHICH IM TERRIFIED OF AS WELL AS WASPS AND BEES. I GO INSIDE TO BE BERATED BY THE MANY SMALL FLIES WHICH GET INTO MY FOOD AND LAY EGGS IN IT AND FLY INTO MY MOUTH AND NOSTRILS. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY AND RESTLESS THAT I FUCKING START GETTING ENRAGED BY THEM. SO I TRY TO WORK BUT I STOP. I PUT ON SOME CLASSICAL MUSIC AND CALM DOWN, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER AND THEN NOSTALGIA KICKS IN. I FUCKING HATE MYSELF. MY MIND IS ONLY CAPABLE OF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS LITERALLY. I CANT FUCKING DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE BUT I CANT GET ANY HELP. IM STARTING TO GET VERY SUICIDAL AND I CANT CONTROL IT. MY BODY IS UNCOMFORTABLE ALL THE TIME, I FEEL DISGUSTING PHYSICALLY, EVERYTHING I USED TO ENJOY FEELS DISGUSTING AND CONTAMINATED WITH ME. I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT STOP. THATS WHY I SHITPOST BECAUSE I THINK TROLLING FOR REPLIES HELPS BUT IT DOESNT, I ALWAYS FEEL WORSE. IM SO FUCKING SICK OF IT.
Luke Lee
IVE DECIDED THAT I AM GOING TO TAKE TWO IBUPROFEN AND SEE IF THAT HELPS ME FEEL BETTER.
Adrian Martinez
GOT NOTHING DONE TODAY AGAIN. THIS IBUPROFEN WILL MAKE ME FEEL WORSE. NOW IM WONDERING ABOUT THE MUCOSAL LINING IN MY STOMACH DISAPPEARING BECAUSE I TOOK AN NSAID. HOLY SHIT I REALLY CANNOT STOP LOL. ALL I EXPERIENCE IS BAD. I NEED IT TO STOP RIGHT NOW.
Juan Garcia
sounds like my subconscious lel
Parker Hughes
LIFE IS SO BEAUTIFUL BUT ALL I CAN FEEL IS THE UGLINESS AND THE WORST PARTS OF IT. I CANNOT BE BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE IM UGLY. EVERYTHING I COME INTO CONTACT WITH IS CONTAMINATED WITH ME. IM LIKE A RANCID, PUNCTURED GARBAGE BAG, EVERYTHING I COME INTO CONTACT WITH BECOMES UGLY AND DISGUSTING AND SMELLS BAD. WHAT SHOULD I DO? I STOPPED TAKING MEDS I WAS PRESCRIBED AND VOWED TO NEVER TAKE THEM AGAIN, IN MY TEEN YEARS I REALIZED THERAPY IS ALL JUST MANIPULATION AND CREATING IGNORANCE LEADING TO HAPPINESS. I CANNOT RELY ON THE MEDICAL FIELD. MAYBE GOD WILL HELP ME.
Daniel Ramirez
Ian Anderson
I JUST TOOK MELATONIN. THIS MIGHT HELP ME. I THINK I MAY BE CLOSE TO A PSYCHOTIC BREAK AND RIGHT NOW I AM EXPERIENCING THE NEGATIVE SYMPTOMS HEAVILY WHILE VERY FEW OF THE POSITIVE VERY BRIEFLY. I THINK IF I INTENTIONALLY MAKE MYSELF WORSE THAT IT WILL REACH A POINT WHETE THERE IS A WINDOW FOR ME TO ESCAPE THIS HELL. I DONT WANT TO HAVE TO KILL MYSELF BUT IF THERE IS NO WAY OUT OF THIS I AM GOING TO.
Isaac White
Austin Miller
smoke heroin
Noah Wright
>I FINALLY RELAXED AFTER WEEKS OF PARANOIA AND PANIC
may i suggest switching to a whole foods vegan diet and seeing if you'll feel any better? you know, diet and mental health are intimately related. do you think its possible that your mental issues and diet are maybe related to some degree?
youtube.com
youtube.com
dont eat any processed foods and go vegan and statistically you should feel better
also going vegan would make you fit in better with Yea Forums because its a vegan board. i too suffer from depression even to this day, but whenever i eat like this i feel like shit, thats why i eat almost all clean whole foods
Hunter Moore
caw caw caw caw
Sebastian Davis
I WAS SHOOTING UP A FEW WEEKS AGO, WITH NO PLEASURE. I DON'T THINK SMOKING HEROIN IS GOING TO HELP.
Carter Butler
I THINK I NEED TO STOP EATING COMPLETELY FOR A LITTLE BIT. I DONT REALLY EAT MORE THAN ONCE A DAY ANYWAYS. I DO THINK VEGANISM IS A GOOD IDEA, ANIMALS AND PEOPLE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO SUFFER SO I CAN EAT A DISGUSTING ANIMAL
Logan Baker
Hey man. Get a membership to a local gym and go walk/jog on a treadmill. Try listening to a completely new genre of music you might have otherwise not listened to. Work up a good sweat and then go home and cook yourself something simple. Steaming vegetables is pretty easy and can taste good if you season them lightly with salt and pepper. You can pan fry some chicken with them and make a good healthy meal. Try to plan out tomorrow’s activities and setting one goal that you want to accomplish, whether that be cleaning up the kitchen or bathroom and try to feel good about accomplishing that task. Then do it again tomorrow. Try to walk a little farther than you did the first day. Work up a sweat go home shower and repeat. Treat yourself like you deserve to have a good life for no other reason than you’re a person, who by the way has the gift of self-reflection. I’m trying to not make this sound like some shitty cliché motivational post, but most importantly just start today. Right now. Write down what you ate and how long you worked out. After a week it will feel good to go back and reflect on what you accomplished, even if you only went to the gym 3 days, cooked 4 meals, and cleaned up the kitchen. Realize that it will for sure be hard sometimes, but even if you do what I described above, you’re still accomplishing something awesome that a lot of people never work up the balls to do. If you do this shit, the rest of your life will start to fall into place. Good luck OP. I believe in you.
Angel Carter
youtube.com
godspeed op. Yea Forums is a vegan board btw :^)
Michael Brown
is this ironic shit posting? how can you not see the flaw in
> I DRANK COFFEE AND SMOKED SO I HAD A PANIC ATTACK
well no duh you had a panic attack, you just took an upper and a downer
Dylan Morris
vegan is suicide
Jace Brown
YOURE FUNNY user. IM AWARE OF NICOTINES BIPHASIC EFFECTS, BUT I AM SURE I DIDNT CONSUME ENOUGH TO RELEASE BETA ENDORPHIN. SO I CONSTANTLY HAVE ELEVATED LEVELS OF NE, EPI, AND CORTISOL IN MY BLOOD BECAUSE OF WITHDRAWL, STRESS, AND JUST BEING MYSELF LOL. THIS IS NOT IRONIC SHIT POSTING BUT MY EARLIER POSTS WEREI MAY TAKE UP RUNNING FOR A BIT BUT I DONT REMEMBER THAT HELPING MUCH. I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU WRITING THAT UP THOUGH AND WILL SCREENCAP IT JUST IN CASE.
David Thompson
user you are the most genius person i've seen on this board today
Levi Ortiz
Have you tried being a robot cat?
Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again
Nathaniel Hernandez
You have terminal autism. I'm afraid the only cure is to become a sissy and give up your boipucci to very well hung men
Your fortune: （ ´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ
Andrew Jenkins
bretty shure, s/he's just trolling as was actually good advice, and s/he gabe it to themselve
Robert Adams
get out of [s4s] retard
Bentley Young
Cool man I hope you do. I just know that I have a pretty dang good life compared to a lot of people and no real reason to be depressed but I still am sometimes. My favorite part is that usually after even a light physical activity like walking through the neighborhood or maybe elliptical for 20 minutes, I feel better about myself because the alternative was me sitting at home feeling shitty because I couldn’t find the motivation to get my ass off the couch and just go. Once I’m on my way, I already feel good about even just that. Maybe I have a half-assed day st the gym but it’s still better than sitting there and shoving unhealthy shit in my mouth and mind. You seem pretty smart too so that is great, but try not to over analyze things or talk yourself out of doing it. If you can, and this is probably key for you, find anything that can take your mind off the negative thoughts. There are so many cool podcasts that probably cater to something that you’re interested in. Even 15 minutes can kind of put your mind back on track and out of the shitty self-hating cycle you sometimes find yourself in. I’m rooting for you and really am hopeful that you can do this!
Brayden Bennett
Moo?
Luis Ortiz
Holy shit dude from what I read you're literally me. Except I still like dugrs lol
Bentley Nelson
I HAVE WOKEN UP EARLY LIKE I SHOULD HAVE. LAST NIGHT I HAD A PROFOUND REALIZATION AND SAW I SHARE THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS A PROMINENT HISTORICAL FIGURE THAT I HAVE EXTENSIVELY STUDIED BEFORE BUT HAVE NEVER REALIZED WE HAVE SHARED THE SAME BIRTHDAY. I HAVE DEVELOPED A MORE SPIRITUAL SENSE OF THE WORLD AND I HOPE THAT THIS FEELING IS GENUINE RATHER THAN ME JUST BEING CRAZY. EITHER WAY THOUGH, IM GOING TO DO A LOT OF READING TODAY.