ITT: times you acted like the Undertaker

>
>Taker nailing ME.

>be me
>draw zero dimes for my company
>get accolades as an all time great in my field by the general public on the coat tails of actual draws
Mmmmm....badd ass

>be me
>cruising through town on my harley
>tell anyone I see to have a badd ass weekend
>also have plates that say badd ass
Have a badd ass weekend this weekend on me

hell ye brother

>see black dude talking shit to pregnant gas station cashier lady
>DEAD MAN WALKING
>ride my motorcycle up to the automatic doors, wait for them to open, ride in
>YOU'VE DONE IT NOW
>ride up and down the aisles
>YOU'VE GONE AND MADE A BIG MISTAKE
>black dude looks freaked out "shit, what is this guy, a hell's angel?"
>mmm you don't wanna mess with them
>deliver seven pure strikes
>hogtie him and drive him out to the desert
>the gas station becomes the centre of a hate crime controversy
>business tanks
>mmm now that's badass

>be me
>at highschool
>see some kid getting bullied
>go up to the bullies and cut a promo on them
>''you're just awful people who never got love from their moms. Now stop bullying this kid. And believe me, I'm a badass so you don't wanna mess with me''
>bully starts punching me
>no sell everything
>set him up for a lock but his friends run in on me
>still no selling
>teacher sees us and I win by DQ
>go back to class and start being known as ''the highschool badass''

>be me
>get a job at Walmart
>the boss is a total dick to most of his employees, often giving them near impossible tasks to complete, and yelling at them.
>get fed up one day and wear a black hooded robe to work, stop at the entrance of the store and roll my eyes in the back of my head before going in
>grab a carrot from the produce isle to use as a microphone, and declare that darkness will reign over the store, and I will own it. A handful of other workers join me.
>we go over to the frozen food isle and there is another worker with long brown hair standing there. I order my minions to grab him, and drag him to the back of the store, and beat the dogshit out of him, knocking him unconcious.
>minions lay his body on an altar, and I stand over him, cutting my wrist with an elaborate ritual knife while speaking in a demonic foreign tongue. I collect the blood in a red solo cup that I took from a bag of them that some asshole had torn open and left on one of the shelves.
>poured the blood into his mouth, and he begins shaking violently. The ritual is complete. His soul is set free, and he will serve my cause.
>get into a quarrel several hours later with a bald guy who was drunk and stumbling all over the store, shattering a lot of the glass cookware on the shelves.
>confront him, telling him that his soul will be mine.
>a fight breaks out, and we make our way to the electronics, beating the shit out of each other all the way there.
>grab a set of headphones and choke him with the wire. He goes down to the floor and I break a TV over his head. He is bleeding from his forehead. Some of it gets on my hand
>lick it off
>roll eyes in the back of my head, turn around and leave.

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>leaving work
>tell secretary to have a badass weekend baby
>mfw I get in the car

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>Julie, have a badd ass weekend baby

Never acted like Taker, but I have done it now. I’ve even gone and made a big mistake.

KEEP ROLLING ROLLING ROLLING

Holy shit. If this isn't pasta it should be. lol.

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I

AM

AMERICAN BADASS

Don't worry. I'm sure her panties got wet.

>About 10 years ago
>Fall in love with some broad
>Think she's the one
>We're so compatible and I can see myself spending the rest of my life with her
>Get a tattoo of her name and proposed to her
>We get married
>About 8 months later our relationship seems irredemably damaged, we argue just about anything
>We get a divorce
>She takes half my shit
>Turns out she was also pregnat with my kid, so now I gotta pay child support for that piece of shit and I don't even get to see him
>Not that it matters, she turned it against me
>Tried tattoo removals procedures and creams, but I can still see her name on my skin. Faint, but it's still there
Shit sucks

But what happened to the boss? Was he still getting massive heat? Who went over?

mmmm now you need to get her name tattooed on your neck that's badd ass

THEY CALL ME COWBOY

BADASS IN BLACK

I own a gas station. AMA.

>quiet and sky kid
>but by the time 3rd grade hits im in a 6th graders desk due to main eventing the early puberty slam ppv and just at 6 feet tall
>one day on the playground see JR high school kids hanging out by the baseball field
>watching them as we play, thinking they might try to cut a promo on us
I see one of them talking bad to the girl with them, think about doing something but hold back
>guy slaps her
>you've done it now. Mp3
>walk over, he tells me to fuck off, I tell him to apologize to her
>he shoot punches me, I jerk back
>he swings again, I have no fucking idea how to actually fight save for professional wrestling so I took a blow to the temple
>get mad, snap a fist into his gut, he doubles over
>think Undertaker normally goes for a finisher
>lift him to my shoulders and take him for the last ride into the dirt all while he struggled and kicked me
>ref sees the fight break out and DQs the match early before I can do the tombstone piledriver or hell's gate
>before I head to the principal's office to discuss my contract, the girl pulls me to the side
>"thanks"
>"mmm, y-you too..."
>she kisses me on the lips
>her breath is gross and tastes like cigarettes and ineffective breath mints
Guy ended up with a really bruised back and since it was before a lot of the zero tolerance stuff hit the midwest I just had in school detention for a week

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Rural or urban station?

GOT THE LONG HAIR
SWINGIN MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR

Mom and pop store in the middle of rural and urban crossing.

Dead Man Walkin’

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