Dont read this post if you don’t want to deal with autistic rambling

M E D I C A T I O N U S H I T E A T E R
protip: ur brain = FUCK
protip 2: u trie to abuse FUCK BRAIN to fix FUCK in ur lif bute tis is STUPID AND IMPOSSIBLE becuz ur BRAIN is fill wit FUCK
protip 3: YOU CANNOT FIX A PROBLEM IN YOUR THINKING BY THINKING ABOUT IT jsus CHRIST

my family and I barely make it paycheck to paycheck, we generally never had a lot of food and now housing is upping utility out of nowhere making it worse. I am still unemployed while others work, have poor hygiene, no friends/social life, and am afraid of my brother.

the one good thing is my little brother who's legally blind, deaf, and wheelchair'd along with my cats (two), specifically my little girl. she's so small and cute, but she terrorizes the other cat whose been in my life for 8-9 years.

>pets can make you happy

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wonder who this is

it means that there's something to be finished in order to gain that freedom and once you gain it it's up to you how to utilize it (but since maybe you fall into a loop/gestalt the way to break it is to hack it biologically)

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its a pity that people can feel this way
letting it go isn’t a good idea I don’t want to kill myself or turn into a hikineet disconnected to the 3D world yet
I hate how medication can make me feel sometimes, but your right I need to start taking it again
well great thanks, I have no idea what that thing is so I don’t know how knowing that things could be better helps at alllllll

I wish I was decisive enough to kill myself so I didn’t have to try to fix my ill stupid useless mind

I love you.

based taste
some bad things in life are unavoidable so theres no reason to beat yourself up about them. the buddha said suffering is like being shot with two arrows, the first arrow is pain others and your surroundings cause you and the second is self-inflicted suffering. you cant get rid of the first but you can get rid of the second
also consider seeing a psychiatrist this seems like textbook depression, not that you dont already know

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not what i meant, meant let go of the worry and emotional stresses negatively affecting you

your life, your choice. wish you the best yoogee

you keep seeing yourself as useless and ill. this is very bad and come from low self esteem
'you are great' say this to self instead

>the second is self-inflicted suffering

this. It's impossible to say "HAHA JUST SMILE WHILE YOU PAY BILLS, FAIL YOUR CLASSES AND GO TO BE ALONE EVERY NIGHT" but you have to basically laugh at the rain so it doesn't drown you

u rly wan ur finlel toughts to bee "Oh shit, here's how I could've easily fixed all of the seemingly insurmountable obstacles that I've been facing, damn, guess I'll die now."
cuz aperently tats wat happen 'cordin' too ppl whom jump offf briges end sukh
alllso u don wanted too DIE, u jus went too NOT BE SO MISERABLE ALL THE TIME
soo THEORETICALLY u shuld b ablel too found MOTIVATION too dew teh LATTER

a madness at the beginning it's too much to handle but in the long run everything seems normal (and because of that before you get into the madjack state please prepare your habits)

I agree I need to work on learning how to do that
ive found legitimately meditating, or at least what I think is meditating to me, helps
it just feels so arrogant and self important to think “I am great” though I’ll admit that I know I need to love myself
I’ve seen multiple therapists and a psychiatrist and I always get too scared to tell them what’s really going on because I think it’s trivial
though like I have said I will need to work on it

im honesty really confused and my head is spinning and I’m just going to listen to george harrison songs until I feel good enough to go to sleep, kind of want to delete this thread because it’s embarrassing writing allnof this on a public board wher eplently people don’t care at all, but I want to read through it when I’m calm tomorrow
thank you to everyone in this thread and sorry for being kind of crazy

it is also arrogant and self important to think that something keeps you, in particular, from continuing to live life and be a semi-productive human being when the vast majority of people have managed to do so
the biggest hurdle to overcome is thinking that you are unique in your suffering. in reality, no one is really unique beyond their circumstances, and this should be taken as a positive - others have been through your situation and come out the other end more or less alright, therefore you are able to do the same. humility is knowing not just that you aren't the greatest, but also that you are not the worst.

also, Yea Forums is bad for you and seeking help from equally depressed pieces of shit on the most garbage board of it will not help you. talk to a therapist. be honest with them. they've heard worse and they don't give a shit.

Id rather not think about how everyone suffer just as much and usually more than me, I already think about that too much and how my unhappiness is insignificant compared to the thousands upon thousands of people who have real problems

whatever works, as long as it doesn't hurt you is fine
what helps me is denying the bad thoughts room to exist
focusing on only good

we care about you, so know that

suffering is relative. the plight of a man who is dying facedown in the dirt after being disemboweled is not lessened by the girl who was locked in a basement for years being raped and tortured regularly is not greater than the 20-something year old who was born with clinical depression and has never been able to truly enjoy anything because their brain is fundamentally damaged by genetics. the point isn't that other people suffer more or less, the point is that other people suffer and live with that suffering better than you do, therefore they may be able to offer you some advice to do the same.

best advice in the thread

>"i don't want to think about sad things :^(((("
>comparing your misfortune to others
lol u dumbo....... if u reach rock bottom and refuse to try, that's your own damn fault

i agree
Sometimes i think its some undiagnosed mental illness but I doubt taking meds can give you a sense of purpose and make you enjoy things. I heard people say try new things, so I tried new things and throughout all those expiriences I didn't feel anything enjoyable. I've taken drugs before (not prescription meds) but they didn't make things better.
In my opinion, achieving happiness is overrated and it doesn't last. You should just strive for/do the things you want to do and once you run out of them, find new things or end life.

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Embrace power over terror. You know what the truth is, so there is no going back now. Take your life and everything else in your hands.

t. weird faggot who posts korean girls all day