I’m going to end my life once more exams are done and i’ve developed a pure friendship with some girl because i...

loyalty matters so much. almost no one is loyal though especially females and that sucks. I just want true love, something real.
Hope it works out for you Sewcasa.

why do you think people leave suicide notes?
doing so doesn't benefit them in any way.

just have secks lole

dubs of gluck

thanks...i mean...i got to the point now whereim like mostly deetatched form this world. etc etc. nothing is fun, not even drugs can help since i can't be on them 24/7. litearl clown world pepe absurdism comedy standpoint and shit etc. its a fucking maddening joke.

i think we ahve a mechanical universe and it is devoid of intrinsic meaning but i still would leave notes for my friends and family. it would be better if i was gone. i just dont wanna hurt my dad who worked so much for me. he doesn't deserve me but at leasat my sister and brother yougne rthan me surpassed me and he'll be alright. everyone likes him he's an amazing guy and im just a fuck pol guy too depresdeed to do anything doomer style etc. whatever. give me a nordic ethnostate or turn the clock back to the 1930s. i dont care otherwise. at this point muslims are going to take over the west, and chinese/japanese/koreans are going to become to the superpower. whites well die genetically.

the eugenics will begin in china and soon after russia. america will be come muslim country along with europe. its all over. and russai? guess who controls russia. ROFL

so the closest thing left to traditional europe is japanese, then second chinese.

oh well its all fuck

not true. my ex should have left me years sooner. but her loyalty kept her in a toxic relationship with an alcoholic. the love she had for me destroyed her.

same... have strong feeling for someone and it is becoming more and more clear they dojn't give a damn about me. i feel numb, and detached... i could barely eat or sleep for two monthes, i can't stand this but I am not going to give up.
Hope you make it Sewcasa, ilu, we care about you if that matters at all. I want to see you thrive.
Different for everyone. my experience vs yours, neither are right or wrong
hope you're better now, alcohol is destructive flat out

they will most likely not care much
they will be appropriately bummed out that their classmate died and will be happy that they got a day off
in reality they will quickly move on, they might wonder "why that dude killed himself lol what a weirdo" and then life goes on
your family most likely will care and blame themselves but dark sun of the self will make them subtly blame you "why did that damn son have to go kill themselves, now my peers will blame and judge me for this in their head" but on the surface they will weep for you and at the core they will be devastated that their offspring chose death over life in the same world as them
c'est la vie, life doesn't weep for a single jar, life doesn't weep for a thousand jars, we could all be gone tomorrow and the system would use our bodies and whatever little things we are made of to make something new
the eyes won't blink that the jar is gone, they are detached from the woes of this world and only observe 99.99% of the time, that is life constant and unending change until all life on this universe is finally snuffed out
your desire to form a friendship just to hurt her shows a mildly disturbing self awareness and lack of giving two shits about it, to be malicious for the sake of malice is bizarre, if they accept you as a pure friendship person then they clearly are not one of the people who thought you as not good enough for them yet you punish them for the actions of those who refused you
your logic is flawed and driven by malice, "to punish the people that turned me down i will find a person that won't turn me down and hurt them", how is this a revenge on the people that turned you down? it looks like you got ganked by a darkwraith and decided to fug up sunbros boss fight as a revenge to darkwraiths

im happy i think if i can get a girl to like me enough just a nice caring girlfriend. i dont believ etheyll ever love mefor me only what i can do for them. unconditional, love kinda seems to deff exist in a common fashion, but in the first few months of the relationship then its done. repetition etc;. i could spend my life with this girl though cause her lifestyle but her with me? idk. she has a low sex drive, 22, few relation ships and pretty mature. but she says she does things day by day etc. doesn't like being open with her emotions etc.

i feel im being used in a way but i dont think im rebound it hink she just wants sex etc. i told her how i feel i wanted her as a GF and take things slow and she didn'tw ant GF shit. then i pursued harder and she told me to slow it down , at least that meant relationsihp wise she wanted the dick ahrd early on and raw and well shit man fuck i said no lets wait a bit. but god if eel ill never get that first week of like super honeymoon love eyes and sex in that way etc. we had sex a couple times etc. but shortly idk man. fuck my life.

Attached: 1553736699207.jpg (600x902, 67K)

that honeymoon period is impermanent anyway it seems to be the bodys way to reproduce by flooding you with good feels so you make commitments based on that and then when the good feel chemicals die down you're stuck there wondering where did your sanity go during that
then things start to slow down and the true test of self comes when you start to see what things you actually have in common and can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with that person in monogamous relationship
if you want unconditional love you are shit out of luck that only exists in romance novels and in a strange pseudo religious / spiritual / mother child kind of relationship that are rare as hell, if you find one good for you but regular ass love is old folks smiling in a park bench feeding pidgeons and wondering what they'll cook for dinner after they're done with the laundry, it's mundane, persistent but stable kind of a deva
then there is the strange nutty love where both partners are yandere for each other but that is a little bit asura love, love of passion where they both do crazy shit just for love and to keep the flame lit
many kinds of love, unconditional is very rare or based on illusion that you two know each other, just because you don't acknowledge the fact that parts of what they are and have are what keep you together doesn't mean it isn't so, that illusion is usually shattered when the other person gets into a accident and for example loses their looks or gets fired from their ceo job
love of devas: stable but a bit boring
love of asuras: passionate but a bit volatile
you can mix and match the two but that requires that you two take off the heavy shells and see each other as the shivering naked lobsters you are and accept that in each other
love is fucked up and society pushes it as the greatest good there is, if you want it go for the mundane and stable love of old people and pray that you'll find a someone who is into that
youtu.be/r_0sL_SQYvw

Your fortune: Bad Luck

Attached: 1pkk9e.jpg (1024x588, 91K)

Attached: 1554622725638.png (570x565, 6K)

Attached: wut.png (683x840, 20K)

Attached: eh.png (683x840, 17K)

i'll never get why but

Attached: idon'tknow.png (755x565, 9K)

Attached: polycromatic.jpg (450x389, 19K)

gonna sleep soonish. but kinda wanted to see yuou here .

same irish girl anyways. things got a bit rocky. well. my alarm is set so i get up in 4 hours i bought a rare arizona flavor she said she liked and im leaving a note on it "Saw this, Thought of you. Hope you have a nice day xP" something like that at her work before she clocks into shift. right now im sorta no contact fall back mode told her deal with her job and family troubles then contact me then.

she knwos how i feel i want relationship and i kdont know how she feels and she wont be open about that but i think she just wanted something casual/sex etc but then reazlied woah this guy actually likes me wtf. and prob kidna annoyed i didnt just slam early on. shes good to me etc its just as she said her personalities clash and she said it frustrates her. she's super introveretd but has friends she reads/books/netflix etc and happy alone i guess.

youtube.com/watch?v=rTSB0P7dP50

i guess my thing for her is the passionate voltatile one? idk. man i coudl see us being compatible on default day to day

and id rather die if i can't get that she really has a good heart and its not love goglestalking i think.... :/

youtube.com/watch?v=rTSB0P7dP50

im ready to die..and yeah. i could go full chad mode and get crazxy good with all the red pill knowledge i have work out and shit......but nothings funn....i can't decide if i should get a switch gaming pc or smartphone....i sit home all day and do nothing but workout and surf net /job

Attached: misaki red hood.png (1920x1080, 822K)

Delta i've never seen such a beautiful heart
mine looks like garbo because it's not genuine

Attached: complicated.png (755x565, 12K)

don't give up on life, take this from someone who failed life...
life gave up on me, still i hold on.. i'm sure you can hold on too...
try dopamine, it's really motivating

It pretty and hand done

Attached: polycrome.png (470x450, 154K)

>heart with gold rim
Delta please

Your fortune: Outlook good

Attached: bestheart.png (755x565, 58K)

Ill try and make one just for you.
Here.

Attached: Heart.png (1600x1200, 241K)

youtu.be/88BYl4CmnNs

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

Attached: 1555193441469.jpg (680x908, 94K)

saved it's so fuggin good i love it
i wish i could make an even prettier heart
i'm so bad at drawing and graphic

Attached: 1552830952664.jpg (236x333, 17K)

dubss

thanks, but you can! What do you use as an editor

i use paint to draw lol but i used to draw with paint tool sai 2 and firealpaca but i never finished my drawing (only drew once)

Attached: generic space lolli GR5.png (963x924, 475K)

dubs

Go download paint dot net with all the top plugins. It is close to being as effective as Photo Shop but it's free.

A slight learning curb tbh, but if you're already proficient with MS paint you will get it fast fren!

Attached: 001.jpg (736x920, 88K)

i don't have any motivation desu
i haven't even touch my tablet in months

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

Attached: dusty.jpg (2592x1944, 1.66M)

dubs
It's for pc, idk if a tablet could handle the demand either...

That's fine friend! If you ever do and want to know anything I will be here.

Going to make something special for you in a moment

Attached: Untitled.png (1600x1200, 103K)

actually it is for pc
also nice heart

This thread is the big gay.

You mean the program you were talking about?

It's okay either way

Attached: 121.gif (1039x779, 543K)

nice trippy heart saved

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

Attached: images-22.jpg (300x168, 11K)

Thank you.

If you have anything you want made just tell me

i just woke up
wtf
i’m going to drink coffee

Attached: 8DF79833-E3AC-481C-8C0D-F6E3CF75BD2A.jpg (1242x1845, 105K)

danke schon...

youtube.com/watch?v=ZBseZ6y7hDQ

i visited her work today and she wasn't in musta called out. yesterday she no call no show. i know the manager, just a chatty cat lady and she's like "i can't read that girl" and same goes for me too i just dont know. im learning more and she wno't open up to anyone and we talk few times about serious shit and she dont have anyone she really cares about i think or is important to her. like she definitely acts with family and stuff in mind but just takes things day by day.

anyways maybe i did fuck up but i just wanted to cheer up her morning. she wasn't there so her house is right down the street from work. and its super strange she no call no showed musta been serious shit plus not in today? so wtf.

i showed up at her house and i was just gonna leave the can of arizona on her steps and go away (10AM) and well she was in the kitchen barely waking up and saw me and it was kinda awkward.

texted me later and said like "ok it was kinda weird [sewkasa] but i appreciate the gesture". then i guess its all good but idk.

i just want her to open up and care more.

anyways nice picture and swell...song too....... :(

Attached: me.jpg (639x639, 33K)

suicide notes were invented by the pooleece cover up assasination

Attached: yoshoacid.gif (500x500, 792K)

"any last words?"
even firing squad asks people if they have anything to say to the world before they depart and that has mostly been respected in the west as a right
maybe those who take themselves out also want to say few last things to the world, mine would probably be "crappy imbalanced server, too many gankers and the auction house system is monopolized by few guilds, 1/10 would not replay"

Nice

why is saying no kill myself?

Attached: 9EA288A7-B0FA-4D3D-B9AE-48E599C18D45.png (591x908, 123K)

man say kill self
i say to man no kill self
if ready to kill self what fear?
do what want, find joy and happy
no fear of death no risk of nothing
make big dream true life
go all way, not just say me no can
yes can, go do, do what? what want do?
if no want do nothing do nothing
why bother kill self, let other kill self for you
much easy, no risk of bad after death
big sky thing protect, make dream real

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

Attached: jelly_jiggler__descent_from_the_slots_by_sniperof2fort-d70078b.png (720x540, 569K)

please dont user

yuji sakai please tell me how you haven't an hero'd yet if your ironic failed life memes are accurate to your own life?

there's nothing fun and im just a tired anime girl. i can go chad mode and get my looks up to being a 7/10 which is pretty damn good actually

i can play video games eventually have my own apartment

i have nearly no attatchments or cares

but nothing matters

then there's girls i mess with and open to even traps too but its like fuck. they all got problems i just want a healthy relationship where i can come hope and we play games and watch movies and shit. its like is it so hard to ask or are people im interacting with just shit. im sure there's high quatliy ppl out there but this irish girl is the one that works for me but what the fuck.

Attached: drunk.jpg (184x184, 17K)

find purpose then. go out and date some girls. get out of your comfort zone. go live

-not yuji

youtube.com/watch?v=JBgQUH4tqs8

but how.....what purpose? there are things like finally working on my fighting game after all these years of planning/sketches/story etc.

hitting the gym and taking care of looks makes sense cause gets me girls/hookups high qualtiy but that's not relationship i want

i can just i guess have friend with benefits and work my bes tto not get attatched? breaking down what girls CAN provide would be sex, and company. if i dont open my heart up and just get those things with minimum most output on my own then that's fine? just go back to rotating 4-5 plates at a time?

Attached: D2tNHfnWwAAyCj1.jpg (647x630, 66K)

Get out of those plans if they don't satisfy, or delay them at least. Go live and let life itself define your purpose without pretense. Get out and do something crazy, something spontaneous you wouldn't usually do.

As for relationships, let that come naturally. Don't dwell on it, or even think about it. Focus on yourself and try to keep improving yourself.

I have faith in you, Sewkasa.

t-thank you user...hope to see you again.

there is that fighting game project over the years but the characters and story take more presidence than the gameplay itself though the gameplay would be 9/10 very good with my background as competitive player and stuff but well. idk id be happy to rant into detail sometime but basically there's TONS of interconnected stuff, modern day/5 city districts and tons of characters and its kinda a mess but there is a few central key elements and well tying it all together is...lot of work. my notes and stuff read more like a script than fine details which i figure is okay for a video game? i want things to be left kinda vague, almost like a silent movie kind of feel, with some room for fan theories and heacanons and stuff. certain events will be done in super fine detail, key things and such that shift the plot/era etc. but other than that its more like daily life and general goals of each character that is touched upon

Interesting, and you're welcome Sewkasa.
That sounds absolutely fantastic.

I wish you luck, friend. Goodnight. Sleepy time for me. Peace.

gnight tomodachi

Attached: 1554349515251.png (560x504, 303K)

dubs
i bloody well love bobobo! it was my childhood

Sewkasa you made me happy by using my oc thanks dude dont kill yourself depression can go away if you will make a first step and good luck with that girl

Kaonashi I love the way you write reading your posts is like reading a good book. How can one aquire such english skills. English is not my primary language and I find my lack of vocabulary frustrating

ty......hope things go well with her. :'(

more i learn now it seems like she's a free spirit and is stopping herself from opening up / and or despites saying she likes me /great we had sex etc, and i doubt there's other guys on side cause she said she didn't plan on getting relationship this year well...i wonder if im just being used as the dick or something. but then her sex drive is low. idk man. i wanna die. and i have a plan this yaer after letters to fam etc if things don tgo well

i have been going to gym eating well and i can go chad mode and i look attractive just very skinny but good genes. but you know. whats the point. i feel being loved for myself generally somewhat unconditionally is perhaps impossible. idk. and i thought abuot and only 2 things girls can give you in real measurements are 1)sex 2)company.

and if that's the case dont need relaitonship or LTR right? well id say wrong, you wanna build a connection and memories with them. years even. but shitl. wtf. why is the unverse eso fuckign cruel that i am so happy with le girl.

Attached: e72c95d8b61232b7c2ba061716b3502f1bba41767b1ff36214d3245405e74f3c.jpg (400x380, 49K)

Poup.