Smackdown Gamethread #1

Bischoff's first night
Will we finally get some HLA?
Get in here /smack/chads, we've already won.

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>Will we finally get some HLA?
No, we won't.

I'm going to bed early and missing this steaming pile of shit. WWE sucks

I can't wait fellow smackchads

>Bischoff's first night
Wait, I thought that was last week. But since then we've had reports saying he isn't even on the creative team.
>Will we finally get some HLA?
No you won't, they might tease it for a few weeks but it'll ultimately go nowhere like nearly every WWE storyline.

He's not a writer.
He has no creative control.
He's just a liason between the writers and the talent... and that's literally fucking it.

I thought he was a liaison between the writers and the FOX producers.

Bischoff has no control

He himself debunked that
wrestlinginc.com/news/2019/07/eric-bischoff-blasts-reports-on-his-wwe-role-talks-meeting-656645/

Metlzer said that and in the next paragraph said the opposite

He never booked that raw stint.

God damn it maybe I need to stop believing everything on the internet.
... wait... so I don't have a brain tumour?
FUCK YOU WEB MD!

>talent... and that's literally fucking it.
that’s literally not it. retard

Journalists deserve to be gassed for spreading fake news

based

p-plans change
$11.99 p-please

I have faith that based Bisch gonna push our girls

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it doesn't start for an hour you fucking simp.

Bischof does have a history with Japs.

anytone think Stone Cold stuck around to come out and give KO a little hell for using the stunner?

Naive fool

KO probably got permission desu.

Fuck this shit Arsenal Vs. Real Madrid starts in 10 minutes!
I'm learning my lesson from last night.

Fuck both those clubs

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Real sports are fucking wayyy boring.

Because Eric is well known for pushing flabby, undersized charisma vacuums who can't communicate with the audience

>friendly game with b-teams
it's gonna be a yikes from me dawg

give him kayfabe shit, have KO beat someone with a stunner, glass breaks, KO shits pants, staredown, beer celebration, stuns him when they cheers

>Arsenal
cringe
>Real Madrid
cringe

big YIKES from me homie.

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sleep tight

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SmackDown has the best roster for HLA.

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Tick tock Bugley

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Doesn’t have Alexa, Alicia or dana

Kofi and his bum boys.

> Alexa, Alicia or dana
post wall, meh, fat version of mandy

The Chinks need to be confident in speaking English before the manlet pushes them.

hopefully Kairi/Asuka are out early and I don't have to sit through a New Day talk segment and match like last week

SPOILERS
- Miz TV with Ziggler
- Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Apollo Crews
- Bray appears without the mask
- Main event is Reigns vs. KO with McIntyre as guest ref

I wanted to make note of a comment in the last RAW thread.
Someone asked what lands Jerry Lawler owns.
An user responded with, "Pedoph isles."
The were zero responses.
You deserve better.

Schizophrenic main event aside you should probably try including the stuff they announced based retard

Kofi vs owens tonight.

BASED

God, fuck you bitch.

>USA shows RAW before Smack
holy shit ratings are going to be in the shitter

sources are telling me HHH will make a surprise appearance tonight on SmackDown. No doubt he'll come out to a thunderous pop

I WANT TO CUM INSIDE CARMELLA

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>no doubt

without a doubt

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What if I have doubt?

hello yes we want liv morgan

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playing SD as a background noise while jerking off

I legit want to see her get shiv'd now

Shes gonna be deadpool. Break kayfabe aka reall.

Or shoot wrestler aka realllll.

what happened in south africa with steve and briscoe?

>tfw no boomers to draw ratings tonight

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>Real sports
Cuh-Ringe

Eric brinjng back wcw tonight.

Look at the way those black men lustfully eye that little white girl. It seriously looks like it's straight out of a BLACKED video. If only

poached a lion

I thought Bishoff was supposed to make this better? It's the same shit.

>1 hour and 58 mins left

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>starting with Shane and New Day

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>we don't anymore Shane
>here's another Shane feud leading SD

Fatass Owens as a badass is cringe.

>Otunga

KNACK TWO THE FUTURE

>soccer

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HERE COMES THE PEPE

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>starting already out there
nice

jerking off as a background noise SD playing

HERE COMES THE PEPE

>shane talk segment opens the show AGAIN
>new day on commentary
yo FUCK this show

>otunga on commentary
FUCK OFF

>new day and shane mcmahon already

oh no fuck this shit

I don't think three cocktails is gonna make this shit worth sitting through but I'll give it a opening/first match try.

what happened to HBK being on commentary?

HERE COMES THE....oh fuck it. I hate the WWE

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>CM Punk chant 5 minutes into SD
Oh no no no

>THOMAS
based woods

plans changed you fucking mark

>no graves
>no saxton
>no michaels
>random new day filling space

oh dear

nigga Byron's dad just died lel

I know Byron Saxtons dad died but what happened to corey graves?

Am I the only one who unironically doesn't mind Shane Mcmahon?

>empty seats everywhere
>cm punk chant in the first 4 minutes

WWE will die in your lifetime

>cm punk chant
christ what redneck town is this

>CM Punk chants already

Audio-only chads, what vidya are you playing while listening to the show? I'm playing la-mulana on my vita

david otunga got a law degree from harvard (frm affirmative action) and isn't a successful lawyer
he became a quick star in the nexus and quit wwe
married jennifer hudson and got a divorce
how can any nigger be so blessed yet such a fuck up??

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>turn on the stream
>shane
Boutta turn off my stream bros

Where are they at tonight? This crowd is having none of this shit.

COPE knowing that his match will be the most entertaining match at SS

>best of the world

miami

I like him.
Only guy in the roster willing to put his body in the line to entertain us.

He's more likeable then Kevin Owens.

>yelling "You can't wrestle" to the best in the world
bunch of simps

why has shane done this shit
he used to get so much respect for his in ring shit for being so crazy
now he gets clowned for becoming superstar at 50+ and bullshitting

what the fuck is he thinking

He always ends up growing on me.

nigga
>you can't wrestle
chants, fucking zoomers i'd like to see them do what he did with Kurt Angle

will he show up to save this mess?

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actually shane has had some decent matches..

Undertaker should appear tonight since he was absent last night.

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Wolfcuck is a Howard Stern fan. What a faggot

They balked at turning him heel after Crown Jewel and now it just comes across as forced bullshit.

who the fuck is Kenny Owens

IT'S THE MODERN AUSTIN VS MCMAHN

He's living his fantasy he doesn't give a fuck

Let's hope Owens loses so he can go to AEW. What am I saying?

>Kenny Owens

RENT FREE

>Kenny Owens

shane's promos are so endlessly long

damn owens is OVERR

who the fuck is on commentary tonight

Why don't they just have an I QUIT match? They could take advantage of what the fans want and make it pretty dope. Shane shines in that stuff, he should never be in a normal match.

damn he's based and badass and fatass

Dissss yeerss Summer Slam

Who would have guessed that Slater would become the breakout star of the Nexus?

Who

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new day, otunga, and the facefucker

Why is the Best Buy logo on the back of KO's shirt?

bout tree negroes

I WANT LIV MORGAN TO DIE.
I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN.
SHIV LIV
HARVEST MORGANS ORGANS

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It will be a gimmick, its coming

no commentary

KO is not convincing on the mic at all

Vince only wanted draws last night. Nash was the exception cause he was part of the NWO.

Because that would make sense

Have you seen sports before?

sick 90s backstreet boy hair, kev

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quit stipulation will apply to both of them and this is how they will write shane off tv

>I'm gonna beat the living hell out of YOU?

holy shit

its wear he buys the massive amounts of garbage he forces down his throat every fucking hour of every day

KO should come to the ring with a lard truck and spray Shane with lard since thats his thing apparently

It's his stupid accent.

The thing about the stone cold redos is that they don't seem to realize that austin was the reason austin got over, not the storyline

He playing a badass doesnt suits him at all.

>KO vs Roman
why

WOAH
THATS HUGE BROS
BIG DOG INBOUND

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Why he always does the fortnite dance?

yeah he is
he sounds like a whiny manbaby and that's exactly what he is

>Eric Bishoff is in charge
>no one from the NWO Wolfpac comes out

Fuck him

Lol do these idiots want to get roman booed?

The Big Dog is unironically the wrestler i'm the most entertained by. I fucking love the rediculous superman punch

And take his shirt off?

nakamura looking good

are you telling me New Day is out at commentary all show?

god I hope so, it's not looking like it. They need a cage or a buried alive match.

I'm actually surprised stipulation matches haven't been more popular. Becky and Charlotte Flair both have submission finishers. Actually a lot of the women do now that I think about it.
Why did those two NEVER have a submission match?

>shawn
>hot mcmahon austin type feud
>big dog
>new day on ceommentary
>shinsuke IC champ match
>wwe title match announcement
SMACK WON KEK

GET THOSE NIGGERS OFF THE COMMENTARY

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I SAW ROMAN REIGNS ON MONDAY
NO I GET TO SEE HIM ON TUESDAY
FUCKING GREATEST TIMELINE
WWE CREATIVE CREATES CREAM OF THE CROP CONTENT

I have never seen so much ignorance in one picture before.

Ive always loved shane even when he screwed over my childhood favorites. Shanes always been dope. Anyone complaining about too much mcmahon on tv clearly doesnt understand how crucial vince holding all the talent down on screen made you want to tune in next week. These people woulda complained during the attitude era when we had vince kino. Lastly unlike vince shane can actually wrestle a match on his own and it will be either serviceable or good.

nah they're actually funny and intelligent because they can off script

At least they are giving us a decent match, that's kind of different for once.

You can't say that, apologize

ya seethin

Well he did push Kevin Nash didn't he?

>one hour and 45 minutes left

Well i'm glad they seem to have dropped the miz ziggler feud

how about this, kofi?

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Elias on so much roids

nothing about those two is funny. How old are you?

Glossing over the fact that my dude had to pay his dues as Punk from I Love New York season 2.

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Holy fucking based

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>elias and drew get to talk and be themselves
are things actually changing??!?

Holy fuck Elias is huge

Just got home. Did I miss anything?

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45 minutes of that will be commercials

more Shane in case you didn't have enough of him the first 15 minutes of the show

I hope we get to hear Elias' theme again

>implying roids arent based
fucking dork

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they're literally a more articulate rock/the elite
gain taste woods has a phd incel
im not talking about the gyrating pancake bs fucking idiot

What the fuck does a "special guest time keeper" even do? There is no time restriction

Nakamura vs Crews. 2 minutes then another hour of Shane.

>Shane O'Mac
>Elias O'Mac
>Drew O'Mac
Underrated Stable

damn desu I think the New Day are pretty charming. BUT they are way worse on commentary than I thought. Commentary takes a certain skill, it's probably way harder than it looks.

uh.

goat

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lol at the commentary desperately trying to put Crews over
>he's explosive!

how do you make macros shake in taima

i know you're in there too, tell me

The time of all matches are documented in the record books

>Otunga
>2 New Day guys
Why

He rings the bell

wait new day are on commentary the whole night
oh boy that nig hater gonna kill himself by the end

wait does smackdown have any white champions?

Damn son lol.

Are New Day on all night? It's nice to change commentary I guess

NAKA
MURA

OH MY GOD I WOULDA BEEN OK WITH JUST PHILLIPS AND OTUNGA.
AM I REALLY GOING TO HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE NEW GAY ALL NIGHT? NAKAMURA BURY THE NIGGER TO ENRAGE THE NIGGERS

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Nakamura will always look special with an intercontinental title. I hope thse faggots doesn't fuck it up this time. Might be their last chance to get Nak over.

New Day makes me long for Renee and Cole

I CANT BELIEVE YOU NO LIFE LOSERS STILL WATCH THIS SHIT

NO WONDER YOULL NEVER SUCCEED IN LIFE

FUCKING
SAD
PATHETIC
WORTHLESS
FUCKING
LOSERS
ALL OF YOU

Bayley

>contender
>championship opportunity
holy fuck this is great wtf

Meltzer leaked that Hogan's going to come through the crowd, call them niggers, and suplex them both into the ring apron at the same time

apparently Shawn Michaels was supposed to be on commentary, but decided he didn't want to

This commentating is fucking trash. Woods is fucking horrible. Why didn't they just get Booker?

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Xavier Woods is legit an upgrade. E is cringey as fuck

It's gonna be kofi vs orton at SS i assume?

Commercials saving the day.

Big E is cringe

Renee is learning, you can tell she knows when to talk and when to shut up. She's still cringe, but she's getting less cringe.

Damn that nigga Bobby is agile.

>missing Cole
Blasphemy

you unironically enjoy cole?

i miss the Cole that do commentary for that UK show, he was BASED there

Damn i'm glad we got this picture in picture commercial so i can't hear the New Day.

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I'm just happy to be here, POSTING ON THE BEEEEEEEESSSST BOOOOOAAAARRRRD IN THE WOOOOOORRRRRLLLLLD, / A S P /

>publishers trying to weasel out of questioning over microtransaction gambling
>R* literally adds a casino
The absolute fucking madmen.

>entire thread BTFO

fuck this is unwatchable because of new day

New Day is actually way more entertaining than these usual simps Xavier is better at the desk than in the ring kek

I really like Cole and King together

that's been a rule for a while now pin the champ get a title shot. But you actually have to find a time to get the champ to do the match. they might just not show up to it or do count outs and yes smackdown does have white champs the IICONICS

Bayley's not white

>nice to change commentary
It's a pretty significant downgrade, actually. I just turned the show off because I don't want to hear Xavier "literally /r/eddit" Woods all night.

STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

I thought I told you to stop posting on Yea Forums Mom!!

Go back to /pol/ bitch!!

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everyone else is most likely wasted / hung over from last night

>another GTA story FREELC
HOLY BASED

Nat King Cole?

>spic singing about nachos and tacos

>DICK'S ad

Based

ok youre mentally challenged and so are the rest of the retards itt
woods & e arent having vince in their ear and have creative freedom

No. I'm not a degenerate who abuses addictive substances. The only substance I consume is Jesus Christ and the bible.

>LETSSSS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

let me enjoy something please

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It's just more grinding.

Rated M so they can do whatever besides explicit sex. EA is busy hooking 6 year old on card packs and other e-crack

>Apollo has the Olympic Slam now
neat

They're both awful so far. But it makes sense if it was just a sour of the moment thing.

can't wait or the champ to take a clean pin for no reason

When is Rusev coming back?

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I have like 5 garages full of duped cars to sell just in case

Who's that noisy commentator?

I am literally about to turn off the volume for the first time in 20 years of watching wrestling. Who is the fucking moron who greenlit this bullshit.

I never got into GTA online. I hear it's pretty good though.

wtf this is actually decent

>competitive Apollo
alright

Shane is great, if only a little played out.

surprise run in at All Out

On Rusev Day.

>he wants the same dry vince commentary
kys

go back

is this for the title

Actually no, real-money gambling is supposed to be AO by definition, just the ESRB is a fucking publisher puppet.

he ain't, lana is currently vivisecting him

ERIC FUCKING BISCHOFF
ITS REVENGE FOR WCW

this commentary is making me wanna say it if I'm being honest lads

based nakameme kicking that bulbasaur out of the ring

What's the point of watching this match? Everyone knows Apollo is losing because he'll be demoted to NXMeme in a few weeks

Apollo buried, pointless if he cant win a match

I have a shit load of hacker money they surprisingly never took away from me.

>could only replay the knee strike because Shinsuke didn't evade the shooting star properly

LESBIANS

HLA
HLA
HLA

My fucking dick.

So are they doing the lesbisn angle?

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>Sonya

God I wish I was a lesbian.

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Did sonya fuck up he line?

HLA HLA HLA

are they work or shoot lesbians?

Terry Crews vs Michael Jackson was actually pretty fun. It's nice to actually see Shinsuke on television for a fucking change but the watered down bomaye is kinda wack.

BASED 'SCHOFF

JUST KISS ALREADY

my penis just got a all tingly for some reason

>AO only

fucking stupid rule no wonder pubs want around it

>It took Sonya and Mandy this many months to remember there are tag belts and they are a tag team

>we have a womens tag team title match?
>yep, and if we win, we deserve a womens tag team title match!
Huh

Holy fuckola who let those amateurs on live television. Woat promo.

he never stood a chance against a charmander like Shinsuke

HLA

It makes me feel old as fuck seeing all these new guys doing Stunners and olympic slams and chokeslams and stuff. I wonder if there's some wrestler code about using others moves, like the move has to be "retired" or something, or they gotta ask permission.

like why don't you ever see Hogans Leg Drop used as a finisher?

gooks btfo and out of the picture. weebs seething.

>hits all the smark talking points
>calls others retards
lol

>What's the point of watching this match? Everyone knows Apollo is losing because he'll be demoted to NXMeme in a few weeks
maybe you just shouldn't watch wrestling as a whole

Nice. Now I want to kms.

Thanks

>Kofi picks the challenger
This is fucking retarded writing, can Orton end this shit reign already?

Is there something wrong with my that I find Sonya more attractive than Mandy?

what? so are they having the title match next wee or not

Sonya botched

KISS GOD DAMMIT.

*were

>advertising a match next week that could potentially lead to a title match later on

Uh thanks Bishoff

NEW THREAD

these bitches are complete ass at promos

Damn they botched that shit, also kek at the kabuki warriors being out of the title scene already

Bayley uses it

wtf Asuka & Kairi better get involved in that shit

Guarantee.that this will pull over 3.7m.
Great booking Vince!

>Covers Sonya's eyes.
>"Guess who?!"
>"I know what my pussy smells like Mandy."

LONG

TERM

B O O K I N G

that's what I thought I heard but I wasn't sure. Glad I'm not the only one who caught it

>SMACK is BACK, but no finn
why bros why did they decide to be good now once he takes a break :((

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>fucking stupid rule
They're called gambling laws.

you mean the comedy champ who dances and hands out pancakes can't get real heat with anyone? damn

Didn't WWE get absolutely BTFO when they used that phrase and IOC made them change the name and that's why they started calling it the Angle slam

these jabronies were in a totally different feud and are now getting added to SS tag title match

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Cause nobody can get it to the atomic level.

GET IN HERE

>why don't you ever see Hogans Leg Drop used as a finisher?
A lot of people hate it, probably because it's not flashy enough. Plus it completely destroyed Hogan's back.

reminder: every time somebody superkicks, HBK loses a day of life

Undertaker is just as big a draw as Austin. If the two of them would have been in a segment together it would have been fucking amazing and you know it.

really makes ya think

Didn't you hear? Their opponent was rewarded with a main title opportunity for losing. SUCH GOOD SHIT.

i feel the same way

I hope she spanked Sonya after that

That's not a burial, it was a competitive match where Crews got several nearfalls and a fairly convincing false finish.

it's gonna at least be a triple threat at Summerfest for the Women's Tag, right lads? They can't forget about our girls just like that?

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Fuck now I have to watch cause Bray is confirmed

well Bayley got to pick hers so why not Kofi.

>Undertaker is just as big a draw as Austin

And those are stupid rules, user.

yeah, it's pretty bad. WWE style wrestling isn't made for that jap hardstyle. I feel bad for people like Asuka and IO too, they are hella watered down.

>boxing in 2019

Sonya is legit more attractive. Naturally beautiful while Mandy is a plastic bimbo with no personality and probably dumb as fuck.

Undertaker is still active.
The reunion was for old fags who pull entitlements from SS and Medicare

new thread

I've always liked when they would at least be shown interacting with the original user in some way to gain the finisher. It's just weird when someone like KO randomly starts using Stone Cold's moves.

Nothing particularly wrong with it. Sonya is taller and more athletic (and Mandy is obviously not a natural blonde).
Only real quibble about Sonya is her wop nose.