I’ve been posting on this site for almost 4 years now. It was the highlight of my day. I hated my job, had no friends, and was an incel.
Well, I changed one of those things and now I’m off to jail for a few years. I’m really scared and don’t know what the future holds, but thanks for everything. Has anyone here ever been in jail? How can I survive?
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Kek what a bitch
The trick is to act as effeminate and bitchy. The other prisoners won't see you as a threat, but as a quirky, interesting prisoner, and you'll be adopted as a sort of unofficial mascot of the wing. I've been inside, so trust me
>inside
>Well, I changed one of those things and now I’m off to jail for a few years
Okay spit out user.
What did you do.
shave head, shank mexican, seek out aryan brotherhood
>Well, I changed one of those things and now I’m off to jail for a few years.
Kek
Raped someone or diddled some cunny seems to be the implication
Prepare your anus
I’m honestly ready to just be some big guys bitch, obviously that will suck but at least he will keep me safe, right?
the state of the userbase of this board
I went to my local pool, saw a cute girl I assumed was over 18. I followed her to a private spot. Asked if she wanted to hang out. I thought she was being flirty and misread some signals, basically ended up grabbing her and kissing her and her parents saw and called the cops. Had I known her age obviously I would not have done this.
Is it smart to join a gang? I’m white and have heard that whites stick together in jail. But I’m worried the other races might outnumber us.
Do prisons get the WWE network? If so, you should be fine.
Describe how she looked and what part of India this was in.
You need to establish your heart immediately. They will test you so as soon as someone gets up in your face you just take a swing at them. Doesn't matter if you win the fight you just need to show that you aren't a bitch and won't take shit. Don't ever try to offend anyone or get in fights, don't call people names, don't accept gifts, and don't jack off in the shower. Of course if what you implied is true and you did a sex crime none of this applies and you will be raped and probably killed. Good luck
Prisons bad enough as it is. They don't need the added torture of hours of WWE programming
>hated my job, had no friends, and was an incel
>I changed one of those things
Does not check out
>India
Pajeets don't give a fuck about this shit. Hell, the father would've held her down until he was done.
Now he has no job.
based. say hi to him and let him know of his meme status
Wait do I fight or not fight? I’ve heard I’m supposed to fight. Unfortunately I’m not very good at fighting and am relatively small (5 foot 8, 190)
I’m in the USA. And trust me, you would have thought she was 18, too. Curves, in a bikini, nice feet with painted nails. She did not look underage.
>Nice feet
Why are Footfags also pedophiles?
Which thing did you change though? By misunderstanding an underage girl and groping her at a public pool while her family watched you further cemented your incel status
I wonder if he was thinking of that John Wayne phrase when he went tho that "girl's" house knowing it could've been a trap, which it was.
Well I Fucked a girl who told me she was 19 but ended being 17, luckily that is the AOC where I am from though.
How old was this girl really?
You're faceblind ya dumbass
hags have ugly feet most of the time
Turns out she was 13 the entire time. Her dad almost beat my ass but instead her parents just kept me at the pool until the cops came.
It kind of depends on your definition but I technically lost my virginity. Which is part of the harsh sentence.
You only fight when they test you. At some point in your first couple days someone will try to start shit with you to test your heart. When this happens you attack him just to show you aren't a punk. After that try to avoid fights but never take shit. Unfortunately since you commited a sex crime against a child you will be found out as a chomo and will probably be labeled Kill on Sight (kos) by the aryan gang leader. If you are lucky you will just becomes someones wife but it is more likely you die unless you are in protective custody
>followed her
>misread some signals
>Had I known her age obviously I would not have done this
If you knew she was underage, you would not be a rapist?
>I hated my job, had no friends, and was an incel.
>Well, I changed one of those things and now I’m off to jail
Rape?
>13
Yea...
No way she looked 18, user.
Die.
So you raped a child in front of her parents?
hope you're ready to get your asshole btfo you fucking pedo scum
Now I don't mean to expose the business but I think OP might be ding-dong diddly lying
So they know what I’m in for? I was going to make up a story that I killed a guy trying to murder my kids, I thought that would keep me safe. How do they know????
I thought we were flirting and we’re going to have a quick hookup at the pool, things that happen to people in real life all the time you fucking moron.
I got charged with aggravated battery after choking out a dude who shot his gun out my car and threatened to shoot my friend. Really hoping I don't have to do time and get probation instead.
How can I get into protective custody? So I need to attempt suicide or come across like I’m crazy?
Pedo weeb btfo. Hope you get raped like Kevin Trash.
Did you chimp out on the cops or something? That's got legal self-defense written all over it.
They'll know through either google or when the prison guards who will hate your guts for being a pedo tell everyone you're a fucking pedo piece of shit.
That doesn't happen in real life. You thought you were in a movie and so raped a 13 year old and got caught?
Snitches
Some high ranking inmates may also have "access" to your files
I don’t know where the rumor started she was 13 - that was someone pretending to be me. She was not 18 but she wasn’t that young. And again, you would have thought she was 18 between her curves and her feet.
So you still raped her.
No, suicide row is another story
You can try that, but is prison life at higher difficulty
Jesus Christ user
How can they google me when I’m not even in there yet? Yes it made the local news but how do they know what prison I am going to? I’m really scared now, like I’m throwing up now.
fake and Kevin nashed in jail
Honestly don't attempt it, just do it. You will probably be either stabbed or beaten to deat as soon as they find out what you are in for. Might be better to go out on your own terms. If you are going to a prison that only houses sex criminals you may have better luck because they have hierarchies around types of crime. Molesting a 13 year old should put you above the people who molested 6 year olds but you will still be way below the people who commited sex crimes against adults
You going to get raped scumbag.
How old was she? The older she is the better you will be if you are in sex crime prison. Regular prison doesn't tolerate any crimes against women or children though so you will be killed
'Raped' is a bit strong. He's more like a footballer who's having a good run on goal, but gets flagged offside before he can shoot
Are nonces not segregated from the rest of the prisoners where you're from, chum?
Fucking virgin. Feet????? Are you serious. You pedo piece of shit.
No cops. He got out of my car right after saying he was gonna shoot him so I quickly got out and put him in there chokehold. He fell and hit his head, and I freaked out and got back in and drove off, leaving my friend with him. They were both extremely drunk.
Should also note I have the bullet shell from the shot and his family reported his gun missing. I overheard the call while I was in the holding cell. You bet your ass I lawyered up.
>these are the people you talk about wrestling with
Thank you. Although I don’t love that analogy it’s close.
I kissed her neck, rubbed her a bit through her bottom, tweaked a little nipple. Just foreplay stuff. I screwed up because I asked if she was ready for it, then very quickly started rubbing between her butt cheeks without confirming age or consent. That’s when she started screaming and it went bad.
Still doesn't top that horse fingerer
Kek thanks, I needed this reminder
So you're still a virgin incel?
>I’ve been posting on this site for almost 4 years now
Lurk moar, newfag
No one wants a quick hookup with you at the pool. You don't grope girls in public unless you're 100% sure they want you to. And no, you can't judge if someone is 18 by their fucking feet.
I'd tell you to gain some real life social experience but it's too late now.
>Hoping I got worked
>You don't grope girls in public unless you're 100% sure they want you to.
If you're a chad you can just grab them by the pussy
No I ejaculated. Which is a handful of additional charges and part of why I’m going away for a few years.
A private dressing room is not public
I saw several people making out at the pool and I’ve read stories of one night stands happening there. Everyone is half naked - things can and do happen.
Did you have sex?
Everyday I come on this board and everyday I’m reminded that wrestling fans are not people I want to associate with
kek OP’s getting Nashed boys!
Lets all laugh at this fucking simp
I would start watching sonny kiss matches
Dead ass at work I thought a 13 year old was about 19. In fact most every guy did until her mom was looking for her and said she was 13 when we asked for a description. We all looked at each other with judging eyes.
Legally it was considered sodomy, so if nothing else I can go to prison knowing I am not a virgin. The circumstances are not what I wanted, of course, and I apologize to the girl and her family.
the what
This guy gets it. Some young girls have developed early and gotten their curves and cute feet early. Unless importantly asked her age, I couldn’t have known. Yes I screwed up. But did I screw up enough to spend 15 years in jail? No.
First off rape doesn't count. Second, if you didn't put your peenor into a vagina, you didn't have sex
You anally raped a girl?
Well the difference here even though I thought that 13 year old was like 19 I didn't grope her in public.
She was also really into one of the other employees too. We started calling him a pedo afterwards.
Why is it always this board with the jail stories?
I agree that you don't deserve 15 years in prison and lucky for you you probably won't serve more than a few days because you will be killed
youtu.be
I recommend this channel to see waht prison life will be like
why do you keep bringing up her feet you fucking weirdo?
You deserve to be raped in jail for being a footfag
ZOZZLE
kek i forgot about that one
Of course he is along with people ITT LARPing him but this is amusing
Mature feet look a lot different than kids feet in most cases.
Not a footfag, just a guy who can appreciate cute feet and realizes that puberty and adulthood make some changes to the female foot.
So she had the feet of an elderly woman?
Can we get back to the point of this thread? How can I handle jail. I read up on MVP’s life.
As I understand I should just keep to myself right? And seriously, will the other prisoners know why I’m in? Or can I lie and make myself sound more badass?
You're ding-dong diddly boutta experience the Summer of 92 and you probably deserve it. Godspeed.
No but thinner/longer than a little girl’s feet. And she painted her nails. It’s kind of obvious.
>Had I known her age obviously I would not have done this.
>"assumed" her age
Even predators on that shitty US show have better excuses.
You're going to die and or get raped by the Aryan brotherhood. Get over it.
Not really if you ended up anally raping a child based on the look of her feet
Lol bruh
First of all you'll be expected to carry ac opy of your paperwork on your first day. Its actualy extremely common and is basically so that you can have proof that you're not a rapist or a child molester. Sadly, since you commited a sex crime you're fucked. Even if you manage to hide it there's pretty much 100% chance that one of the CO's will tell the other guys that your're a chomo (since they hate rapists too). If that happens, the other guys will probably try to kill you and if you're lucky to get transferred or some shit you can get ready to do the same thing over again.
Disregarding your attempted rape of a child, you deserve all the shit that's about to happen to you for being a foot fetishist.
user ding-dong diddly get raped in the summer of 2019
Do you at least know where exactly are you going to do time?
America's prison are some of the worst, but depending on your location you'll either just be ostricized or downright murdered.
I fingered a 15 year old once but it's legal in this country.
Get a condom and load it with a shitload of drugs then stick it up your ass. Even if you don't take them they're priceless in jail.
I'm not joking.
I’m White and plan to join the Aryan brotherhood
Haha. You don't know anything about the Aryan brotherhood do you?
Yes and from reading online there’s apparently a lot of gang activity and a high rate of prison rapes and murders. So I’m scared.
Tell them you're in for tax evation. They'll pretty much ignore you after that.
Aren’t they white guys with tats? I am willing to get prison tats if it keeps me alive and from getting raped.
Oh so this is all bullshit. Ok.
I thought I should go for something like “I killed a guy trying to kill my daughter” for sympathy. Or is that unrealistic? Could I just say I killed a cop?
They are the guys who will rape and murder you for being a chomo
They don't allow pedos in, you scum
>I'm scared
Nah, you're fucked.
To be honest I don't even know what to tell you. It sounds like you;re either going to be killed, beaten into a coma or getting your cheecks busted on day 1.
They expect you to have a copy of your papers on you (to prove you're not a chomo). If you don't have em with you then its pretty much clear why.
If you tell them you killed a cop, word will get around to the guards and they'll rat you out. Then you'll be double fucked for being a kid diddler and a liar.
Good luck in prison, Ahmed.
>Would not have raped if underage
Best option is to act mentally retarded. Shouldn't be a big challenge.
Alright listen bitch, cause that's what you are gonna be if you don't follow through. You NEED to go in there and basically be a violent asshole and try to get moved to confinement. They WILL find out you raped a 13 year old, and they WILL FUCK YOU UP beyond anything you thought would ever happen to you. Not sure how I'd go about doing it, but I know for a fact I'd get my ass moved to some sort of solitary, or a protected ward by being a violent trouble making asshole.
Downside to this is you'll probably get more time since you will be breaking laws trying to look like a violent fuck. The upside is that your asshole will remain untorn and you might actually earn some respect.
Check out some vids on how to handle multiple attackers from this self defense guy on youtube. decent vids, and he doesn't try to pretend to be a martial artist or mma guy
youtube.com
Good luck faggot, and I hope your as remains intact.
kwab
Oh, and while they are fucking you up, if you try to defend yourself by saying "bro this 13 year old was hot as fuck and you would have fucked her" will literally have a 50/50 chance of getting you killed. If it starts, and you know it's gonna be bad, just shut the fuck up, cover vitals, and take the beating. After that they will move you to a safer area.
Hi pedomod
Turns out footfags are finally getting what they deserve. Good riddance. Should have seeked mental health as soon as your foot """fetish""" started.
Also the CO's hate child molesters so they are definitely going to rat you out to other inmates
>
Yeah, your only chance is to try and get moved.
Also this guy and people like him are in there, and this vid is not a joke, though completely hilarious.
Are we glossing over the fact that he said he lost his virginity to a kid via sodomy? He's gonna get skinned alive.
I mean, yeah dude, but this guy could be the 1/10,000 that doesn't get fucked in his ass nightly. Either way, if he raped that 13 year old, then he deserves this. If I was the dad I would be in prison right now, and OP's friends and family would be waiting on his burial.
This story's most likely bullshit but if not op is going to get fucked up bad. Chimos are less than scum in prison
You see, now if she had been 16 or 17 I could give you a pass because truth be told lots of teen girls try to look like fucking adults for some weird reason with how the culture in the U.S is nowadays and you have to check before you do anything, but 13? Yeah there's no way she even looked remotely close.
Always always shit yourself. You might be less likely to be raped that way probably.
Yeah but what if your daughter was a thot?
Protip:if you’re about to get raped, shit yourself. He’d have to be dedicated to his craft to go to the trouble of cleaning you up first
Then they can make a lifetime movie of me killing molesters, and she's the one setting them up.
She's 13 dude, she has no agency.
Yeah but your rapist might turn out to be a scatchad from Yea Forums and then your really gonna get it.
>Aryan Brotherhood
>Chomo
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA holy fuck man...no, no tell em about the little girl feet too bro it’ll make them understand LMAO
Just mention how you only tweaked her nipples and came in your pants bro they’ll take it easy on you I promise
Holy worked
And theyve been inside of you right?
This guy diddled some kid; so he is still an incel
Fucking this.
I can deal with OP being a chomo, but being a footfag, he deserves the Nashing he's about to get.
This thread gives the impression that prisoners in general are keen to overcompensate for their small penises while acting like they're somehow righteous vigilantes while being in a big concrete box. Basically SJWs.
I mean the main problem would be you coming out of prison with a bunch of Nazi tattoos but your already a sex offender so its your call wether it's worth it
enjoy jail pedo mod, its about damn time they locked you up
What makes you think that user
>a 13 year old girl was raped by pedomod in the hot sweltering summer of 2019
Based good ol’ boy
If you serve any appreciable amount of time, no one will fuck with you. Proven fighter, and you defended your friend. You're most likely going to be just fine, considering you dropped the choke after he hit the ground.
Pedos like him would be in holding, and considered a flight risk. They wouldn't let him use the internet, much less Yea Forums. Story seems hokey too, with the little details not adding up. If it's a community pool, there's no real place to hide, too many people running around during season. Since it's on local news, where's the link? It's probably some user that took a ban and decided to make a FUCK PEDOMOD (not literally) thread.
This.. not sorry for you OP
people on this dumb board believe anything
>Hey, is it cool if I pretend you're Alexa Bliss?
This
OP is gonna learn respect the ol fashion way in the joint
>How can I survive?
Don't drop the soap or you're in store for a live reenactment of the Summer of '92 starring (You) as Kevin Nash.