Well?

dont respond to me you dirty low iq brown person

Punk to be the human shield while Brock does the actual work.

what if you're being kidnapped by Alistair Overeem?

I'm white tho

Big Show and The Rock as they seem like they could legitimately hurt people

Cena and Dean

Lesnar and Show

then I'll take Phil lol

brock didnt show up to work today

Finn and Punk so I can leave this ding-dong diddly earth

CM Punk and Big Show. Mainly so Big Show can just use CM Punk as a bludgeoning weapon.

Bret Hart and Natalya Neidhart

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Punk and Gaytch so they could just bicker about whose going over in saving me then they both get killed. I die but I’ll do the job if those jabronis are gone

Brock and Braun or maybe Bbd

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>no Austin
I kill myself is the right answer

>Choose TWO superstars to rescue you
I got ya superstars right here

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Dean and Brock since they seem like the only two with no qualms with actually killing a dude

Brock and DBry. The first would fuck them up and I dunno DBry is my favorite guy so I guess I could meet him.

randy and dean

undertaker because he can't be killed so he'll never stop trying to save me
cena because he can't be seen so he can easily sneak in and help me

Lesnar obviously
Probably Bryan cos he is kinda legit

>Randy
>Puts the kidnappers in a rest hold

Punk to prep the bulls and Nash so he can get raped again

Brock and Goldberg. I'd mark out.

Cena because he seems slightly more likely to give a shit than the rest and has enough pull/fame to maybe get me rescued. Dean because dealing with fucked up illegal shit is his wheelhouse, he might be able to trade me for drugs. If I can choose one outside this list, then swap Cena for Steve Blackman, since he's a bounty hunter and a shoot badass.

Haku and Harley.

Lesnar is a huge dude but presumably these kidnappers have guns.
Rock and HHH are the richest ones there and would thus have the most resources to hire people and save me with.
Undertaker owns guns and probably knows how to use them.

So one of those guys, I guess.

This is the only answer.

Bork and Roman. Bork because Bork. Roman because if its saudis or pajeets they all love Roman and will probably trade my release for him just to appear and cut a promo in beheading square putting over a sheik or two.

Why did they draw dana brooke?

All you need is Taker to either drop those fools with some lightning or wreck them with some pure strikes

still white in the big us :^)

If you're looking for pure strikes you're better off with Minoru or Ishii.

Why would I call them, I don't speak nip

Fair. Inefficient, but fair.

Braun & Dean Ambrose

Cena and HHH.
they'd just pay the ransom

I'm suicidal so any combo involving Balor, Shieldettys, Bryan, and Punk will probably complete my goal of death with the added bonus seeing those dweebs get btfo before I'm killed.

Lesnar and AJ.
>Lesnar owns guns
>I tell AJ that the kidnappers are gay

Punk and Brock. 2 MMA legends

>Brock and Cena
Everyone else are fake faggots.

Undertaker has teleportation powers, so I'd pick him. Also HHH because I saw him break into Randy's house.

Brock would laugh at you and then go back to hunting things and fucking Sable

Punk and Rollins, so when the mafia is busy kicking the shit out of them I make my daring escape

Finn offers up his boipussy and Lesnar uses the distraction to kill everyone

Because Brazilian/Colombian women/Traps.

The Big Show with Daniel Bryan in a baby carrier.

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Punk so I can watch my kidnappers laugh at his rescue attempt

Bryan so I can watch a man have a seizure after getting hit in the head once

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John Cena (for smashing through walls while his entrance music blares, distracting and frightening the kidnappers) & The Rock because he's fucking huge too.

Rock and AJ cause they're trustworthy good people that would actually come to rescue me instead of ignoring my help call

at first i was thinking rock because he is so nice and cool and brock because he is a beast but now i figure this. if i call roman, i am likely to get seth and/or dean for free since the shield brother bond is so strong. i may even get the rock thrown in because of the strong samoan blood tie. my second choice would then be Take because he would probably bring the rest of the BSK and lay into my rapist kidnappers with some pure strikes

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i have busted more nuts to her nudes than any other diva except maybe christy hemme

Goldberg and Reigns.

Not because they're the hardest, but because you can't guarantee that any of the others would NOT do a heel turn when they arrive, hit you with a finisher, and leave you trapped.

Brock and unironically DBry since he's shoot tough and has headlocked nogs before while breaking into his home. If Beeg was younger and not physically broken I'd say him instead

Cena because he's the ultimate good guy so probably be the most likely to answer the call.

And Orton because he has a shit load of guns.

Unless those kidnappers buried The Rock in some wrestling documentary and happened to be handcuffed I'd say Rock was a threat

President The Rock

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This

Triple H and the Rock
They have to have some connections to something that can actually help me

Lesnar and Cena
Nobody else could do anything

>Goldberg
Gets gassed while picking up the phone

>Bryan
Gets concussed answering the phone

>Orton
Burns down room I'm in

>Bork
1st pick

>Balor
Bends over and gets gang banged like Cuckvin Nashetty in 92

>Reigns
Would conveniently get "leukemia"

>Rollins
Saving me isn't a scripted spot, therefore he's useless

>Dean
Jobs to kidnappers

>Braun
Cries too easily

>Cena
Don't wanna risk based Cenas life so leave him

>Punk
The kidnappers laughing at him might be a good distraction but no

>Rock
2nd pick

>Big show
Knee problems and too slow

>HHH
Invites kidnappers back to his place to fuck steph

>Styles
Don't wanna interrupt his bible study

>Taker
Still waiting for LeBron

Punk and Daniel.

Brock Lesnar
>Will only save on certain dates
>Weak guts
>Impatient
>Can only frontal assault, not good for hostages
>No vehicle

Undertaker
>Will turn up on any date
>Hella patient
>No injuries or weaknesses
>Can infiltrate and use distractions
>Owns a motorbike for quick escapes

Undertaker is clearly the best man for the job.

Lesnar and Bryan are the only two there with any MMA background, so them.

Taker would just teleport in and out lol easy

based dx spammer

>Lesnar and Bryan are the only two there with any MMA background

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Tsker and Balor I need some paranormal help

The Rock and Trips are probably the richest. so I'm gonna say them. If I've got their personal numbers I'll assume we're close enough that they'll hire a team of mercenaries to pull me out.

mmmmmmmmm

Randy was too much of a crybabby bitch to be a marine, but cena plays one on tv

Bumpin non gook non womeme threads