Seriously?

OH NO NO NO NO

>wins
>bronze
big think

>blue belt
>tfw my drug dealer that competes while stoned is better at bjj than CM Phil
straight edge fags btfo

Based dad joke

Were there only three competitors?

This dude is totally dead inside.
That second printing of AJ's book where she removed his last name was probably the nail in the coffin.
She's definitely fucking other guys, but after seeing him totally immasculated twice in the UFC can you blame her?

the dynamic totally shifts once the primary bread winner becomes the secondary. Its got to be mentally taxing because the wwe loved her and booked her really well.

> Shawn Micheals eye

Everyone I know that does bjj competes high except for the super serious black belts

Imagine hating WWE yet the only reason anyone has you on is because of your time as a WWE wrestler

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I looked up the official results. He competed in a Senior's division that only had three competitors. He came in last against two old men.

smoothcomp.com/en/event/1672/results

Looking at his profile he lost both matches.
smoothcomp.com/en/profile/170594
He has yet to get a win in any shoot competition in anything in his life, even lost that MTV reality shit.
He owes Vince everything.

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>it’s actually fucking real
this shit is absurd

There were only two but the ref took the silver and Phil was too afraid to ask for it back

HOLY FUCKING SHIT LMAO

NO FUCKING WAY

"""BRONZE""""

>IT'S ACTUALLY REAL
OH NO NO NO

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Holy shit, I thought I was joking

HE LITERALLY GOT A PARTICIPATION MEDAL
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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CM Punk fans are a special kind of retarded.

>Under 199.9 pounds

205 Live debut when?

>CM Punk Star Wars fan

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HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH OH NO NO NO NO NO

Each match was only 5 minutes?
He lost one match 0-7
And the other one he lost 2-11
Am I reading that correctly?

have any of you ever achieved a blue belt or higher in bjj? none of you could even compete on phil's level.

this reminds me of the time Jason Genova got 3rd place in a bodybuilding contest because only two other people showed up

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in the senior division the time limit is always 5 mins
and yes, those scores are correct

Correct. Also, the guy that he lost 2-11 is age 48. A-at least he didn't tap either time, right?

That is correct.
Seems like the second guy let him get 2 in since they train at the same camp. He has to feel bad for the guy.

I have no experience and I could get the same result as Phil, I am literally on his level in that respect.

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I've rolled 3 times in my life and russian armbarred a blue belt. Got choked my a white belt. Then russian armbarred a white belt.
Blue belt means you've shown up to train for at least 3 months.

Top cuck

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this. show up, claim a blue belt. win bronze.

I should add I was also drunk when doing this at a friends who had a mat. Punk has no atheletic gifts whatsoever.

"best in the world"

Holy shit that's embarassing. for years he pretended to be a martial artist and as soon as he actually competes he gets destroyed. If he can't get a A in a seniors blue belt division who can be beat?

for those of you who don't know blue is only one step up from white and white is the entry level belt. Those dude is fucking horrible

At this point promoters should seek people to enter the tournaments he goes and bribe them to lose all matches so he could win a trophy/medal. Fucker isn't gonna come back to the business until he wins a match.

>Lost
>Lost

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Isn’t there a Gif of him botching an armlock on Jericho that applies to this thread?

>Star Wars after The Empire Strikes Back

>Seriously?
Did you assume otherwise?

If I were Vince, I wouldn't even want him back. I couldn't book him to go over anyone.

For as long as he's claimed to be training it's extremely embarassing to only be at blue. Like he must be getting wrecked in class by the entire class.

Please stop, this dude was my hero. delete your post, please. I'm crying.

This might be the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen feom a wrestler and I've seen Paige suck 3 dicks and shove things up her butt

Punk's whole real fighting career is embarrassing. Like even if Hulk Hogan or Carder can't fight at all in real life, I'd prefer to not know. I'll never be able to take Punk serious in a wrestling way again.

You know full well that Vince would shit himself to have See 'Em Felipe back

How much do you think Punk is seething right now? People who he thought succeeded only due to their looks like Bautista, Cena, and Dwayne are doing pretty great in their post wwe career i.e acting.

I feel like he believes he's going to miraculously get better one day. Gotta be a midlife crisis but for a guy who's a massive mark for himself.
It's riding the line between funny and legit sad.

Exactly. Blue focuses on beginner level stuff like escaping and low level offensive moves. It's unfathomable that he's paying to train with duke Rufus and he's essentially still a novice. With all the big talk he used to have when he was still a wrestler I assumed he's at least be like a purple or (before I saw him get his shit kicked in twice ) a brown

I don't know anymore, honestly. He would come with a high price and want to be booked at the top of the card. And how do you book him to go over anyone without the other guy being completely buried? Losing against Gall was one thing and could've been written off as a fluke. The Jackson fight was the tipping point. You literally cannot sell him as a competitor anymore unless he was brought back in a role like Drake Maverick. I'd imagine the wrestlers themselves wouldn't be happy to have to put him over either.

I remember reading that the Hulkster actually showed some promise in baseball at an early age.

That's because none of those guys ever truly cared about wrestling. They're poor fucks who failed at real sports and just used wrestling as a rebound for other activities.

Wrestling is fake, retard. Do you also think that Seth Rollins could destroy Brock under 5 minutes?

There's no precedent for Rollins being a bitch IRL. There's ample evidence of Punk not being able to fight his way out of a paper bag now, it's different.

Not Vince. Everyone else. He's only going back to Vince if Haitch isn't there, so never. Shahid Khan should just organize a whole BBJ tournament himself, have Phil enter somehow and then pay everyone else to lose.

Reminder Punk has put in an estimated 3 million dollars into training (trained at a top 5 level gym with multiple world champions) since leaving WWE and all he got for it is 0 wins in anything and absorbed 100 strikes to the head.

>They're poor fucks who failed at real sports

One can learn to care about a professional other than your first. I would also say Dwayne's football career is not bad. At least it gives him a better claim to the word athlete than Punk.

Oh man, I forgot that he’s been getting one on one instruction full time for years now. These guys that beat him at the Jiu Jitsu tournament are probably training part time, have families, full time jobs etc.

remember that we literally saw him getting his first white belt stripe when he was training full time for the first fight

Genuinely, how do you still be that novice after all that time? Im fucking baffled.

Yeah, because the Armenian twink that did softcore porn just screams legit tough guy.

>Gall fight could have been written off as a fluke
A brown belt will beat a white belt 100% of the time. You learn this in your first week of rolling.
Dude is delusional as fuck.

Yep, genie's out of the bottle.

How could he gain any credibility again? His physical work is completely exposed, and any promo battle would have ample ammunition against him. All he could say is that he followed his dream, but he has absolutely nothing to show for it, and is only worse of because of it. He'd have done better sitting on his couch.

Dwayne is an amateur, and a team sport like football doesn't really compare to 1 on 1 fighting

Who has the .gif?

I laugh everyday at the fact Brock Lesnar worked CM Punk into thinking he could fight for real.

fucking this, even an experienced blue belt will beat a white belt 95% of the time

yeah and how many people seen this? remember, smarks dont count. Meanwhile millions of people tuned in to see cm lose. Also talked about on the rogan podcast(which like it or not has a huge presence), espn, etc.

I mean why are you surprised? Punk was never an athlete. As much as smarks like to deride failed footballers who come into wrestling all of them had that explosiveness that punk never showed. He is now old to boot.

So does Bork

The two UFC fights qualify as fetish softcore, I'd imagine.

That's why I said athlete not just a fighter.

>ref corpsing

It doesn't matter how many people have seen it, you can clearly tell that Seth has never been in a real fight by the way he moves. Punk at least has that experience.

Lots of people saw Rollin's micropenis when his wife posted it on his Twitter account.

He held in the laughter.

He has negative spatial awareness. I've seen amateur fighters who are 5'9" 250 pound fat fucks who have a full time job as a gas station attendant show more athletic aptitude than CM Punk.

Its more I dont know much about BJJ and how easy/hard it is to rank up in belts. Id just think that with all his 'effort' put in hed at least go up a little. Having 0 wins in everything is so fucking humiliating its hysterical and doesnt seem real.

LMAAO

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it literally does matter how many people saw it. Why do you think rousey got the mega push coming in?
true, but unrelated.

Ayyy belly down armbar crew

O.K can Punk beat Carter if carter receives 3+ million dollar training for 2 years from trainers of his choice?

*deflects your helicopter kick* nothing personal kid, heh

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By your logic, a push she shouldn't have gotten considering how badly she was exposed in her last two fights. Let's not be hypocrites here.

>get beat up twice
>"atleast i got experience"
And we'll all float on okay

The fact that even after this there are fans/smarks who still try to claim CM Punk is a good athlete for pro wrestling is sad. It honestly makes me happy American pro wrestling is dying if this is the level of intelligence that the so called smart fan has.

Damien Sandow.

He has years of basic training at the very least, which puts him above jackoffs that have never been in a real fight, like WWE's current champions.

She was the champ. She won fights. CM phil can't even win a fucking tournament with three people in it. While I agree, wwe jumped on a sinking ship, there was still value there on paper. CM has lost that except for like a one time only nostalgia act for an indy show.

Or Dwayne and Cena aren't dumb motherfuckers who actually think they're tough guys. I mean you could lay a lot of negatives on both but the lack of self-awarness and the ability to self-reflect isn't one of them.

Punk can still draw. And I hope we see the day when he proves you wrong.

>losing to seniors

Lol

What happened to sandow other than the cringe promo on simpact

>Dwayne and Cena aren't dumb motherfuckers who actually think they're tough guys

You could've just called them cowards like they really are and saved yourself typing all that.

Trying to break into Hollywood

Does Rhonda win in a shoot against Phil?

She was a StrikeForce and UFC Champion as well as an Olympian in Judo. So she actually knows what it’s like to win in real competition, does that give her the edge?

How they cowards for understanding that their profession is fake fighting and they couldn't beat professional shoot fighters

She would for sure destroy Phil

Phil can't strike, so yes, ronda easily.

Ronda was an olympic medalist and a ufc champ. She also appeared in an FF movie in the peak of her popularity. Yeah her final two fights damaged her stock but she still has more credibility than anything Punk has now.

I doubt it, the current women's champ Nunes would probably knocked Phil out though.

kek what a bitch

Prob not

she would absolutely destroy Phil in 100 out of 100 fights. She is a literal world class martial artist, he is a below average blue belt.

it's the brainlet phil fan cope

At least he got bronze, not like you losers can do any better.

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>You could've just called them cowards like they really are and saved yourself typing all that.

No just not stupid. Unless of course you think anybody who doesn't do combat sport is a coward.

ITT one Phil mark absolutely seething at Dwayne and Cena for some reason.

All just from watching based Fedor getting them from his guard over and over. Way more of a checkmate move than the other variations.

>LITERALLY impossible to not place
>Go up against a 48 year old hobbyist who does BJJ for some exercise after work
>LOSE twice
Jesus fucking christ Phil...

Better than billing him as an MMA fighter.

>MMA Participant

>Cock Magnet sPunk will never redeem himself in his lifetime

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He's training for another fight so he's in great shape actually.

At least he scored 2 points in his second match.

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What fight ? Hopefully not at an MMA level one.

Hi Phil.

Please be true.

>Chick Magnet Punk still roams freely in the Yea Forumsies' heads
The undisputed GOAT.

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I don't think this place can survive another Phil fight.

>lolcow provides lulz
What a victory for Phil, perhaps his only.

could me, a 6'1 lardass who did karate as a kid up to yellow belt beat CM phil?
(still seethe i only got white stripe not black)

No, but I do believe Rollins could hold his own against any random jagoff off the street. Punk's own shadow would whoop his ass.

He never pretended to be a martial artist before WWE, when he went to WWE, it was WWE who promoted him like that, told him to use lots if roundhouse kicks and knee attacks, and talked about him training in must Thai, which he has never really done.

Why do marks think wrestlers book themselves.

The one guy defending Punk as an experienced MMA veteran who could kick any WWE champion's ass must be doing pilpul training or something.

So Phil bought into a meme that the wwe created for him?

phil btfo yet again

Well he could beat Dwayne, Cena, Hogan, Austin who are this subs favourites in a shoot fight :).

If he didn't have WWE money, he'd probably kill himself. Dude is a complete joke.

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I am literally beginning to believe my toddler could win in a physical altercation with CM Punk. He does baby gymnastics and karate and I truly believe that's enough.

Like, in any other definition of a shoot fight, like he brings a gun that shoots fight?

Also, this is a Jimmy Ocean board, fag.

He did what he was told. They wanted to book him that way, your choice as a WWE employee is do what you are told or work somewhere else, unless you are triple h or hulk hogan or the rock.

Fighting in MMA is just a great financial decision for him win or lose he made a lot of money on his first loss.
Remember, money and miles.

Yes, without even breaking a sweat.

Kek not true. In Punk's own words during his first UFC interview he states that while he never played sports or had an athletic background during his school years, he had been training BJJ since 2003 and kickboxing since 2004.

It was all obvious bullshit but he's the one who made these claims and that's why Joe Rogan shits on him so hard because even if the average person trained once a month for a decade plus they still would look better than CM Punk who trained for sure nonstop for at least two years.

holy shit. literal squash matches

He spent more on training mate. He is coasting on the popularity and money that WWE helped him make. Hope to god he is prudent with his money after this.

>Dwayne
Taller, stronger, legitimately athletic
>Cena
Roughly the same height, stronger, legitimately athletic
>Hogan
MUCH taller, much stronger, has some level of legitimate athletics
>Austin
Roughly the same height, stronger, legitimately athletic
Phil please...AJ Mendez needs to get up early to promote her book and you’re disturbing her and her boyfriend

Second loss, how about? Money spent on training? Long-term damage to brand and potential dollars lost? Sunk-cost fallacy?

He already rolled with a gatekeeper old man promo to Mickey Gall when he lost. The second fight poured any remaining human dignity in a cement mixer

>The range finding on that kick

I don't know why the dude backed up, the kick wasn't going to hit him anyway.

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How much did he spend on training? Someone in the thread mentioned 3 million. I mean if that's true then holy shit.

>has wasted 3 million on training
>has no wins, only embarrassments
>absorbed 100 shots to the head
>on record stating that he'll just start randomly crying during the day
>suffers from migraines

I'm glad Punk is learning and has decided to try acting in horror movies now.

That seething Punk mark over Batista, Cena, and Rock being intelligent to begin with and going into acting btfo

What is he doing? All that training? What is he training with? How does he suck this badly?

Put me up against those two, i'll do just as well as him.

I'm going to start posting women who could BTFO Phil in a shoot.

To start with, Yuu

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>on record stating that he'll just start randomly crying during the day
>suffers from migraines
oh no... are the dogs in the enclosed pool area?

Utami

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>tries to kill his newborn daughter
>gets beat up

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Syuri

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>liking star wars.
Hope Cuck Man Phil gets raped.

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*Gets robbed at finger point in Germany*

Not a chance.

Yoshiko

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philettey would have been better off finding some savage underpriveleged street kid to finance through that training and then ride him to the top of glory. guess that's what happens when you're a mark for yourself

Since the BJJ boom happened in the 90s and then the MMA/UFC boom in the mid 00s happened these gyms rely on a few money marks to bankroll things. They usually don't let them embarrass themselves to this extant and just give them a bs amateur fight and let them feel like a part of the team by essentially being a waterboy in a real fighter's corner.

Probably not how it went down.

This is one of the gods of pro wrestling, people in Chicago still chant his name at random shows and everyone was going nuts at the idea of him going to NJPW and joining Bullet Club barely two years ago.

lol this. Cm punk fans always clutch on "r-rent f-free" as if that's going to save him from others' ridiculing his embarrassing life

>He has years of basic training at the very least, which puts him above jackoffs that have never been in a real fight
I really don't think it does. he really is just that unathletic and untalented. the only other guy I've seen in pro mma who was anywhere close to punk's level of awful was thomas denny, the guy who lost to the bully on bully beatdown... but even he found some success in his career. Punk literally looks like he's had no training. the strip mall karate dojo bullshitters from the first few UFC cards could probably beat his ass.

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yeah because it was good to anyone besides geek faggots before that ya simp

Checked. Also

>Dwayne makes ₹124 million dollars in one year 2017 to 18
>Cena's movie career taking off with him playing the main villain in the first ever critically acclaimed transformers movie
>Batista is in one of the most popular franchises of all time in Guardians of the galaxy and gets to appear in Infinity war, Endgame, Blade Runner 2049 and Dune.

Lmao at a seething punkfag talking about money and the miles here.

You don’t know what you’re talking about. The BJJ boom happened in the early 2000s because everyone was slow, and literally any single person who is allowed to spar, is allowed to enter a competition. Losing is not considered embarrassing.

Six months is a usual time for a blue belt at a belt factory or if you train four+ times per week, but Punk is not training at a belt factory, he is training with real people, who really care about protecting BJJ, and will really be scrutinized hard, they have to hold him to the old blue belt standard, which used to be at least 18 solid training with few exceptions. Depending how how much he trained and how busy his schedule is, Punk is likely a fairly fresh blue belt, competing against other more seasoned blue belts, and likely a bit smaller as well, keep in mind he fights at 170lbs, and the weight limit here is 199lbs, so we also don’t know how much weight he is giving up to those guys, hold be none, could be like 30lbs+, potentially. This result is not unexpected or embarrassing at all, this is a normal result for a person who has trained as much as he has.

How do you kids watch so much fake fighting all the time and yet you don’t know anything about fighting.

>₹
what the fuck is this lightning bolt

>>Batista is in one of the most popular franchises of all time in Guardians of the galaxy

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I was at that comp since my friend was competing and I heard Punk tell his camp that he lost because he still had "MMA mode" on and was having a hard time trying not to throw a strike lmao.

Yes

HOLY FUCKING JUST
SEETHING

oh okay thx

Cringe at all you faggots thinking this makes you better than punk. He is still a millionaire with a hot wife. Something you fags will never achieve.

Yeah, no. That was his own shit, he worked WWE onto thinking he had legit training because he had kicks and knees in his offensive arsenal that he stole from NOAH guys and they wouldn't know because Vince wasn't even watching TNA at the time.

He can't be this delusional can he?

mmmmmmm shame I couldn't hit you with some of these strikes kid

Lying faggot.

kek what a mark

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I was surprised people hadn't posted this here yet.

You cannot criticize someone without thinking you're better than them? Mistakes were made, and he'd be better off if he just didn't do this whole MMA thing. We have to catalogue our mistakes as a race to learn and prevent them from happening in the future. Punk is quite the lesson, like a person-sized XFL.

Were there peasants like you in the dark ages defending the rich while they wouldn't piss on you even if you were on fire

Let better people catalog those mistakes. Not cringy basement dwellers like you and everyone on this sub.

Shouldn't you be off prepping Ape's bull right now Phil?

The BJJ boom happened alongside Royce Gracie dominating people on the first UFC cards in the 90s. It also had another boom along with the UFC boom I mentioned.

based

"Better" how? I wouldn't trust your determination based on your output.

Why make sweeping generalizations based on inference and conjecture whilst brushing aside recorded evidence of fucking-up?

>a fucking participation medal
Cm Phil is the biggest bust in the history of Crossovers from pro wrestling into MMA ever, even Batista won 1 fight.
This is the same guy who thought he could beat most of the roster in a real fight and even challenge Chris Brown to a fight. Damn imagine what Chris Brown would've done to this faggot.

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I am better than phil.

One of the people he lost to is 48 years old and I am pretty sure none of them trained with the kind of people Punk did.

Are you honestly saying this isn't an embarrassment?

Punk was always shit, lets be real. Shoot promo to Money In The Bank were just based because they acknowledged his contract was ending, everyone was fed up with Cena and then he actually won the match. His long title run was trash, his promos got stale after a month and his heel run at the end was trash too. If he were still around he wouldn’t even be able to keep up with most of the roster in the ring.

Even a tub of lard like Joey Diaz has gotten a blue belt.

>The BJJ boom happened in the early 2000s
I've had a legit BJJ school in my middle-of-buttfuck-nowhere town since the mid 90's. you don't know what the fuck you're talking about, boy.

>The BJJ boom happened alongside Royce Gracie dominating people on the first UFC cards in the 90s
No it didn't. The BJJ marketing boom happened then. BJJ didn't get popular until early 2000s, when MMA got really popular, after it struggled to - and eventually found - a spot on normie television. If you were training in BJJ prior to 1999 you were definitely an early adopter; this was almost entirely people who were already strongly entrenched in martial arts culture, and people who worked directly with MMA events.

>that midriff
Yum

>The BJJ marketing boom happened then. BJJ didn't get popular until early 2000s
Brainlet why would you call it a marketing boom if it wasn't getting popular?

Based

ahahahahahaha oh nononononononononono

One of the bulls who beat up punk in this tournament.

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Hey Phil

I'm pretty sure he would've gotten his ass kicked even if he threw strikes and his opponent was only grappling

>Star Wars after Star Wars

Chris Brown would have unironically beat Phillip into a coma

Can we get this trending on twitter so Punk can finally get his ass kicked by Chris Brown after he called him out?

>Are you honestly saying this isn't an embarrassment?
Yes. I have a purple belt in BJJ under John Will. In no way is it an embarrassment to enter and tournament and not win, in fact not only is it not an embarrassment, it is almost expected for someone like him. You think it's a bad thing because you have no experience presumably, but the truth is that entering a tournament and losing is still respectable, because almost everyone else on the planet never enters a single tournament. In JJ the old adage is that you win or you learn, you almost never really lose, even when you lose. On top of that, nobody cares. Nobody cares if you are the best white or blue belt in the whole world; you are still a white or blue belt. Competitions until you get to high purple are basically just for shits and giggles, they are learning experiences.

For his amount of experience, this is normal. I mean he fought a Carlson Gracie guy. I have no idea who that random guys is but I can tell you with 100% certainty that there are NO guarantees facing off against a Carlson Gracie student of even remotely similar experience.

>he's a fucking aussie
pack it up folks.

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Hey Phil go to sleep, I know the noise from the bull fucking your wife is keeping you up, but there's nothing to defend here just a guy who is a complete loser when it comes down to real fighting.
Is there any record of cm punk beating anyone ever in a real fight? What about one of those jujitsu tournaments has he won a match there?
A this point I feel Roufous felt bad about charging him millions and gave him a blue belt out of guilt.

The gracies tried but nobody was watching; UFC couldn't get any television deals to stick for almost 10 years, by the time they did, everyone was training BJJ and American MMA was being dominated by crosstrained wrestlers using ground and pound strategies following in the footsteps of Coleman, Ortiz, etc. BJJ was already not the new thing by the time most people had heard about it. Except in Japan where Brazlians were dominating because of the lower level of freestyle wrestling skill and general poor genetics of Japanese.

>You think it's a bad thing because you have no experience presumably, but the truth is that entering a tournament and losing is still respectable, because almost everyone else on the planet never enters a single tournament. In JJ the old adage is that you win or you learn, you almost never really lose, even when you lose. On top of that, nobody cares. Nobody cares if you are the best

It's been abundantly clear that Punk cares. Your argument is basically that there is no embarrassment in losing in BJJ no matter how old or amateurish your opponent appears to be. Fine I guess but for a guy who propped himself as some sort of badass maligning his former workplace it is an embarrassment.

Remember Punk thought he could compete at UFC level. If all he wanted to do was learnt the craft and perfect it, we wouldn't be having this shitshow right now.

Do ya think Phil prepped him for AJ

Do you think he regrets quitting? Surely this is now how he envisioned things going.

> Got embarrassed in his two UFC fights
> Was so bad that the UFC won't even use him in a speaking role like they originally planned
> Turned down an appearance on TUF because he knew he'd be embarrassed
> Lost his best friend because of greed
> All of his former co-workers think he's a douche
> Auditioned for ninja turtles but lost the role to sheamus
> Auditioned for walking dead and lost
> Wrote Thor for marvel and no no one cares
> Was embarrassed on some shifty MTV reality show
> Wrestling fans don't even miss him anymore
> Cody Rhodes will eventually be his boss
> Jobbed out at a YMCA seniors buy tournament

>Your argument is basically that there is no embarrassment in losing in BJJ no matter how old or amateurish your opponent appears to be.
No my argument is that is there is no embarrassment in losing in BJJ to someone around your rank. A black belt losing to a blue belt in a competition would be embarrassing, if it could happen. A blue belt losing to another blue belt is not embarrassing at all, it's a normal part of the sport for everyone who competes.

This is a literally nothing, but you guys are so seething about CM rent free Punk that you have to make out like its a disaster for him. I'm sure he would've rather won, but he competed against people who were clearly at least as good or better than him, and lost, that's normal. Sorry.

This whole MMA venture is the most pathetic case of midlife crisis I've ever seen

>A black belt losing to a blue belt in a competition would be embarrassing, if it could happen. A blue belt losing to another blue belt is not embarrassing at all, it's a normal part of the sport for everyone who competes.
>This is a literally nothing, but you guys are so seething about

That's where you're wrong dipshit. This isn't some random nobody who did BJJ purely out of self interest and couldn't get to an elite level where you can apply the "There's no losing in BJJ only learning" philosophy and shrugg it off. Nobody would be laughing at him if that were the case. Heck look at batista, he also trained for a fight, took on some at his level and despite winning realized he is way out of his depth and moved on.

He was a guy who only few years ago thought he could just jump into an elite level after 2+ years of multimillion dollar training, talked a lot of trash throughout that journey. Only to be cut down in size.

Ronda Rousey is a million times more accomplished being an Olympic judoka and a dominant UFC champion yet even she was mocked after her two defeats because of her prior attitude. Yet you whine about Punk getting despite him performing hell of a lot poorer. BJJ might have that humble philosophy but it pretty clear punk certainly doesn't embrace that.

>better than Phil at wrestling
>better than Phil at MMA

kek what a bitch

The geek lost a movie role to sheamus as well.

>This isn't some random nobody who did BJJ
Yes it is. Nobody gives a flying fuck about CM Punk except manchildren.

>an elite level where you can apply the "There's no losing in BJJ only losing" philosophy
That's literally level 1 BJJ before you even walk through the door of the gym.

>Nobody would be laughing at him if that were the case.
Nobody is laughing at him, except manchildren who don't train. You know what everyone else's response is? Nothing because nobody cares.

>yet you whine about Punk
I'm not whining about him. You're whining about him. Faggot. I'm saying it's not a big deal. You're the one REEEEing about how it is a big deal and people who try to do things should feel bad about themselves. I feel bad for you.

Phil, it's 4am and you're a millionaire. Shouldn't you be comfortable in bed?

>still thinking phil is a millionaire after spending millions on his failed MMA career and getting sued by colt kikebana
OH NO NO NO NO NO

>star wars
I've never seen it and I'm glad

Unironically kill yourself

based level headed user not falling for the memes

How the fuck can someone kill themself ironically lmao imagine being this gay and stupid are you a mexican

destroyed

>n-no big black man, p-please don't hurt me. AJ, why have you got you hand down the front of your trousers??

More photos here if you want to see Punketty being embarrassed by some black guy and a white dude that looks about 60.
photos.mmawin.com/Grappling-and-BJJ/GG-Chicago-Adults-Gi-04-06-19/

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there MUST be some footage of this out there somewhere

OH NO NO NO. Imagine getting fucking beat up by some fat white dude that looks like a science teacher

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...

lmao

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my fucking sides
>HE GOT A MEDAL

you cant make this shit up

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>photos.mmawin.com/Grappling-and-BJJ/GG-Chicago-Adults-Gi-04-06-19/
My analysis:

The pics of him vs the nigger man demonstrate very clearly that he is not used to fighting in the Gi, by way of the fact that the nigger man has won the handfighting/sleeve control before they have hit the mat. This is a huge problem for people like Phil who start in no-gi, because they are training specifically for MMA, then move to competing in the Gi. It's almost like a different sport. You can see from multiple photos of this guy controlling phil with collar and sleeve that this guy has solid Gi fundamentals, and that either phil doesn't, or he wasn't strong enough to break the guys grips.

imo he should commit to the gi full time, or commit to nogi full time, but even if you only compete in nogi everyone knows that it's still beneficial to train in the gi

vs the white guy is a weird one because it looks like he's trying to kimura the guy from north south but isn't applying any pressure to hold the position; in that position he should be abandoning the kimura and thinking about consolidating north south or side control, or, retaining the grip and dropping his hips to smash the guy or kneeriding him. usually you'd kneeride the nearside shoulder to pin him to the mat on his side so you can roll him to his side and take your time creating the right angle to tear the rotator cuff, which is 90 degrees between the humerus and radius. the other option would be to run around to farside armbar. all good options so idk wtf hes doing lol

idk it's difficult to tell by just looking at pics but honestly, seems like some white belt mistakes to me; but again if he is used to only rolling nogi like most MMA guys he may be used to scrambling a lot more and catching stuff in the scramble because that's super common, and tends to not really fly so much when you put the gi on.

...best of luck to him it looks like his journey will be long, but that is part of the fun of BJJ

>> Lost his best friend because of greed
Quick rundown?

>which is 90 degrees between the humerus and radius
oh yeah i forgot to say, the fact he is closing the radius and humerus so much and doesn't seem to be winning the gripfighting and also is trying to finish this in what looks like a scramble makes me think he might be doing some catch as catch can revival stuff in his training. you can finish kimura/DWL like that as a pain compliance/concession submission which is what they do in catch because it creates pain, but isn't a good hook, but you don't need to hook someone to get the tap, although you should train to anyway because its just good JJ habit...

most likely he's not doing catch revival stuff and is just a nub lol

Has Phil passed Nakamura and Shibata for most embarrassing shoot fighting careers?

Fucking hell, he's even wearing UFC sandals as well, what a fucking geek. Oh well, at least he can go home and put his 'you tried' medal in his trophy cabinet now.

Friendly reminder that the completely unwarranted extremely high self-esteem and confidence that he can succeed in everything despite not actually having any qualifications is the reason why Punk is a world-famous multimillionaire who fucks Playboy cover girls despite not being very good at anything. Makes you think.

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Def imo. Nakamura beat Alexy Ignashov by submission who was a fucking MONSTEROUS heavyweight and K-1 GP winner with wins over guys like Peter Aerts who is a kickboxing GOAT. Even getting in the ring with Ignashov demonstrates huge stones on Nakamuras part, to win is amazing, that alone is extremely respectable even if that's all he did.

Shibata showed some of the most fighting spirit I ever saw, he got smashed SO hard, it was horrible even to watch him under Sakurabas side control with his head bouncing off the floor; but he never gave up, his fighting spirit is maximum and he lived the gimmick. He also beat Ikuhisa Minowa which is a huge feather in his cap, Minowa being past his prime but an absolute legend in Japanese MMA

Punk won nothing and lost in horrible fashion in both his fights.

>3rd place in tournament of 3 people
>"Bronze"

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>implying his Alexy Ignashov victory wasn't a work

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>Yes it is. Nobody gives a flying fuck about CM Punk except manchildren.

And you apparently

>That's literally level 1 BJJ before you even walk through the door of the gym.

Saying literally doesn't change the fact he behaves otherwise. So do a good chunk of dudes who do BJJ. You act as if BJJ does some kind of mental programming where you can't violate that rule when vain retards do it all the time.

>Nobody is laughing at him, except manchildren who don't train. You know what everyone else's response is? Nothing because nobody cares.

You must be living in a bubble if you think only people on this board are laughing at him Lmao.

>'m not whining about him. You're whining about him. Faggot. I'm saying it's not a big deal.

You're literally throwing a temper tantrum while everyone is having laugh. Certainly seems !Ike whining to me.

the fuck, why'd he tap?

Lmao seething Phil marks here absolutely deluded. They actually think Phil hasn't become a laughing stock other than here.

he's passed nagata

People need to eventually get self-awareness. Phil can't keep doing this, he's going into his 50s and needs to move on. It's pathetic.

Holy shit Phil just end it. Not like he has any MMA striking victories to go by on

Obliterated

Maybe. It's a legit submission but that was a strangely fast tap unless he really fucked up Ignashov's trachea... seems unlikely... but the record says he won so fuck it. He also had another match with Ignashov which he lost, though... idk

I say let him have it anyway bc he is based

Are there unironic punkfags here? I mean that would be pretty sad.

Got him pretty far. But now there's nothing left to feed that big ego of his.

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>And you apparently
no u

>he behaves otherwise
a) prove it
b) who even gives a fuck how he behaves, what's it to you

>You must be living in a bubble
no u

>You're literally throwing a temper tantrum
no u

Did he even throw a single legitimate strike in all his fights we've seen?

Punk fag got btfo so hard that someone else is responding as him now

LOOK IN MY EYES
WHAT DO YOU SEE
THE GUY WHO CAME THIRD OUT OF THREE

he tagged jackson with a couple of punches. like 2.

Didn't hit Gall at all.

So i guess he threw like 2 or 3 significant strikes between both his fights

How do we know CM Punk hasn't been looking pathetic since leaving WWE on purpose to bury professional wrestling before Vince and his lackies do it? Maybe he's actually still working with them to hasten it?

>>b) who even gives a fuck how he behaves, what's it to you
>asp mocks asuka being fat
>asp mocks Nash for getting raped and tearing quads
>asp mocks Paul for not drawing a dime
>asp mocks cena for being a shitter in general
>asp mocks seth for having a pencil dick
>asp mocks Dean for a shitty interview
>asp mocks phil for a failed MMA care- WHY ARE YOU MOCKING MY IDOL? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHO IS HE TO YOU?

You're either a newfag or more thin-skinned than wolfuck both of which is pathetic. So you should consider jumping off of a nearby tall building.

CM Punk "Third in the World*"

*Worlds consisting of 3 people only

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That is so much typing for such an overreaching strawman lmao

seething

BTFO.

OH NO NO NO NO

The absolute state, this is like some cartoon someone would draw to take the piss out of him but it fucking really happened.

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>Quick rundown
He lost his best friend because of greed.

How bad are these scores?

CM Phill got BLACKED

Listen, they kept starting before Phil was ready, ok? He can't then be blamed for such lacklustre scores. Besides, Haitch paid off the judges in advance.

Bad bro. Not the worst I've ever seen but yeah... pretty fucking bad lol...0-7 means he basically got his guard passed and got mounted. or the equivalent in points...

2-11 means he got one sweep or maybe a takedown, and then got swept, guard passed, mounted... something like that. basically he spent almost all of both matches probably on his back giving up worse and worse positions if i had to guess

Unbased and worked

How long until AJ Lee realises that she married a delusional prick that is wasting all of their money on judo classes and divorces him?

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Book it, Dana! I wanna watch Phil get raped in the summer of '19.

Of course. AJ puts a bow on her forehead, and says she's the prize to the winner. Punk needs to help get some of the seniors ready; they can't get it up like they could when they were younger. Punk also pays the guy $50, cleans his entire house, and sends them Christmas gifts.

How he envisioned things going:

>Leave the WWE with all the smarks on his side
>People are desperate to come back
>He signs with UFC
>Punk wins his fights, because he's the main-character after all
>He becomes even more popular
>Makes an appearance or two on NJPW and RoH., and smarks go berserk
>Becomes an actor or some shit and gets a net worth of over 100 million
>After an apology by Vince, HHH, etc he comes back, wins the rumble and wins the championship in the main event of wrestlemania

It's hilarious watching these people who think their life is like a novel.

posting in a good thread

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it's actually real

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>cena for being a shitter in general
Cena is /our guy/. Has been ever since Yea Forums found out he had a touch of the 'tism.

I know a couple of stories about him but, like 5 hours of candy crush on plane ride, what's the touch Yea Forums found?

right or left?

OHNHNONONONOONONNOONNONOSDONGSDNHSDGhnerlyngsef nwoA OH NON N ON O NON

"You got this, Punk! Best in the world! Go show 'em!"

Punk smiled to himself. That's right, he was CM Punk now, not Phil. Phil was the poet, the philosopher, the wise sage who would lead round table discussions on the abject discrimination of mutant society in graphic novels. Punk, on the other hand, was the savage, the warrior, the champion who had defeated all challengers and become the BEST IN THE WORLD. He glanced at his opponent across the octagon with the same regard as one may give to an insect or a docile and malnourished retard child. Mickey Gall, poor bastard, he had no idea he was simply a stepping stone on Punk's road to glory, an insignificant nothing, a footnote for when they review the history of the greatest UFC fighter that has ever lived, the BEST IN THE WORLD, CM PUNK.

That would show Paul. Heh, Paul, he had always been so full of envy and jealousy. He always had old man Vince's ear, spreading lies and whispering poison, and through his machinations, had ultimately denied Punk his birthright, the main event at Wrestlemania. Punk almost felt bad for old man Vince, being surrounded by incompetent cronies and yes men but it wouldn't matter soon anyway, the company was sinking fast and will probably go out of business in a year or two. Then they'll come crawling on their knees to him...

"FIGHT!"

Punk focused back to the present, it was time. His feet shuffled forward, moving in rapid and almost imperceptible manner as he propelled himself forward. This was his secret technique, a culmination of 2 years of hard work and intense training, a technique that allowed him to close distance faster than the human eye could process. He could imagine the terror inside Mickey, seeing him teleport across the cage in an instant. Punk almost felt sorry for the kid, he hadn't intended to unleash his most powerful technique on him but he felt it would be a greater mercy to end this quickly and spare Mickey the embarrassment. He cocked his fist back...

Jesus Christ. I'm dying. Fucking Phil, you stupid stupid son of a bitch.

Punk physically looks so deflated. He has zero mass or muscle. And cut your hair punk or tie it back so you don't have to blow it out of your eyes.

what a faggot, it was excusable when he was trying to appeal to the 2011 nerds but this is getting gay now

Punkfag reduced to blubbering simp.

When will Confirmed Mong Phil stop embarrasing himself?

>BEST IN THE WORLD
>3RD PLACE OUT OF 3

honestly I think Ronda could kick his ass, there's no doubt in my mind she moves faster and has better reaction time than he even has shown in his fights

>BEST IN THE THIRD

Even when AJ leaves, and he consequently kicks the stool away, he'll posthumously soil himself; cementing his legacy as a foolish shitter

Would you pay money to watch Lesnar shoot on Punk in the Brocktogon?

Did he actually think that punch was going to land?

>Fighting in MMA is just a great financial decision

>Earned about 1 million for 2 fights in UFC
>Spent about 3 million on training
Hmmmm

No because that isn't funny. I'd pay big money to see a shoot fight between Punk and Kemonito

Would that do any good after seeing what Mickey and Jackson did to him? I feel like there's a certain level of BTFO that once you reach, adding more BTFO to it doesn't do much. But yes, the answer is yes. I'd pay a good $200 to watch Lesnar shoot on Phil.

OH NO NO NO NO

Look at him

Attached: kemonito.gif (476x270, 497K)

Ha ha, they both kicked his ass! He's the weakest link, and he's so fucking proud of himself!

Looks like hell

He's frozen with fear, that's why he took such awkward strides when the bell rings, he was thinking "don't trip over your own feet". You can hear Duke and Punk going over the gameplan before he enters the cage which is literally "go right at him and deliver the right".
Pretty sure his entire camp are just taking his money, they only he's not cut out for this shit but hey, he's paying.

I hate Phil but this sounds like bullshit

he looks like a pedophile

How embarrasing

that's so embarrassing

Criminally underrated post

any healthy adult male in that position could beat punk
he has to be in like the bottom 5 percentile

Imagine being AJ Lee in that marriage and having to be all like "damn, Phil, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your skinny fat manlet body and horrific heroin addict looking face. I would totally have sex with you, both in character and the real me." when all she really wants to do is fuck another black guy in Phil's bedroom room. Like seriously imagine having to be AJ and not only be in that marriage while Phil flaunts his disgusting body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing shitty tattoos and leathery skin, and just sit there as he pretends to train for UFC, round after round, fight after fight. Not only having to tolerate his hideous fucking visage but his haughty attitude as all the trainers in the gym tell him he's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, CM PUNK FIGHTS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his wrinkling face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of black guys for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the streets of New Jersey. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his dimpled stomach as he sucks it in to be suggestive at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get to sit there and revel in his skinny fat body he worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous months and you sit there and endure it, because you're fucking AJ Lee. You're not going to lose your future alimony checks over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

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Goddamn how is this motherfucker looking old and wrinkly already? Isn't he straight edge?

alcohol preserves

Tepid pasta, newfag

How can someone with two televised UFC fights under his belt job so hard?

Luck is for losers

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necrobump

The absolute state of this nerd

Heh, nothin' personal, kid.

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