>Time for frivolities hath ended, sit yeselves down and quieten thine chatter! For later on this eve, there shall be a duel for the team honours 'tween the Acolytes and the knaves Xpac and Kane, verily verily, it matters not. As I proclaim! On the day of the Sun, at the festival of Summertide, the victor of the duel shall bear arms 'gainst mine! Seeking to test mine companion, I sought to challenge his mettle. I commanded Paul Bearer to send pigeons to our comrades at ye Local den of 81 Outlaws - Paul doth sayeth we shall require two steeds for a ride int' the desert. The squire replied 'Brother Paul, know'st we do that the Dead Man can handle such! Forsooth, we harbour doubt t'wards the Big Show! For in the month o'August, the temperature rises to 120 weights of heat in the midst of the Valley of Death!' He sayeth 'The only creatures that survive in the desert art the cold-blooded...the crooked serpents that crawl!' Paul sayeth 'Forbear thine doubts, and for the steed of the Big Show ye shall only pack nuff feed to last til the middle of the desert and nary enuff to travel back!'
>So we set off - we arrive int' the midst of the Valley of Death - 120 weights of heat, the steed of the Big Show hath collaps'd. I doth draw my steed next to him and query him thus: 'The heat doth rise to 120 weights, howst will thou survive?' He doth stareth me strait int' mine eyes, with no lapse, he sayeth 'I shall wait til ye fall aslumber, then I shall plunge mine blade in 'tweenst yon back, carve thine flesh, craft mineself a coat, and I shall eat THINE flesh til I find provisions!' I sayeth 'Bravo ye giant! But I doth slumber not a wink!' afore I ride off and abandon him. Thus I wait ont' far reach of the desert. Two days doth pass, he emerges with a tabard and boots made from serpent skin, carrying his Harleth-Davidsons steed on his shoulder. The moral of mine tale be thus! The festival of Summertide shall now be knownst as Armageddon! The foolish who partake...will be hurt!
playin time’s over, sitta down and shut ups. later on tonight, dersa ganna be a match for da tag team titles between da acolytes and x-pac & kane,whatever whatever ,isa no important.da fact of da matter is,dis sunday at summerslam da winner of da match ganna comein face to face with dis.and to make sure da missa man was right,dis week missa putin him toda test.missa has paul bearer call out to california - san fernando valley to some associates of weesa at da local 81 - paul said weesa re ganna ne two bikes for a ride inda desert.da guy said brother paul,now weesa know da da dead man ganna handle it,but missa don t know about da big showin.isa august,isa 120 degrees inda middle of death valley. he sayin da on things da survive inda desert is da cold-blood.snakes and da lizards. paul said da s all right,and in one da thesa bikes da yousa re sett up for us,missa wanna yousa da big showin to on has enough gas get toda middle of da desert and no getin back. so weesa re on weesa way - weesa getin toda middle of death valley - 120 degrees,da bigshow s bike runs out of gas.and missa pull up next to him and missa ask him dis question: isa 120 degrees,howa yousa ganna survive? he looks missa straight inda eyes,without hesitation,he sayin missa m ganna wait til yousa goin sleep missa m ganna stab yousa inda back,missa m ganna cut yousa flesh off,make a coat out of it,and missa m ganna eat yousa flesh until missa find munchy. missa said bombad answer big man,but missa don t sleepin, and missa drove off and left him.missa wait onda outskirts of da desert.two days later,he walks out witha snake necktie and lizard boots,carryin his harley-davidson on his shoulder.da point of da taleo is dis.what us to be known as summerslam ganna now be known as armageddon,and whoever showin up.be hurt."
