How do ya deal with havin' an itchy anus in public...

How do ya deal with havin' an itchy anus in public? The urge to ding-dong diddly dig my digits into my bumhole and diddle around in there is damn near irresistable but I don't wanna be judged by society. What do?

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clean your ass properly in the first place and you won’t have an itchy b hole you scumbag

Lick me clean ya bitch! *spreads cheeks*

I know your pain bro. I unironically almost cried the other day because of how itchy my hole was and I wasn't able to scratch it.
Had to sprint like Usain Bolt to the bathroom to wipe my ass, which to my surprise was all dirty.

Silly user, itching your anus only makes it worse. Shower daily with a non scented soap and pat dry, then use baby powder to keep dry. Try to work your shits before your showering time to stay as clean as possible, and wear clean underwear every day.

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Thanks fren.

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There should be an actual real holocaust but for frogposters this time

Keep your anus dry and clean user, it helps to ease your seethe

you fucking faggot

Use Gold Bond powder, user. That stuff works miracles

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I can't. I wipe til there is nothing on the paper, and like two hours later, whatever was inside me near my rectum seeps out. What am I supposed to do? Stick my fingers into my lower colon?

I used to wipe really hard. Now I shower (if possible) after every shit and clean my ass. If I have to shit at work I got baby wipes which do the job good enough til I can properly clean my ass later

wipe deeper

ya fingas need to actually go IN ya ass slightly

is ass-wiping an alternative sport?

Use a bidet ya pinhead

I take literal rock-solid ghost shits that don't even appear in the bowl after I brap it out. It's so smooth and quick that I don't even have to wipe. Get a clue about dieting ya simps.

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This. Wiping is practically just smearing the shit all around your anus. Water actually cleans you, or baby wipes can do the work also.

>tfw you notice the color of your shit is yellowish and that means you'll be there wiping your ass for hours.

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Get a ding dong diddly clue

Bros, do you wipe while still sitting in the toilet, or do you stand up, squad a lil and wipe?

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>tfw spend $40,000+ for college a year in the US
>no bidets
Fuck you MIT

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Holy shit I thought I was the only one.

I'm 29 years old and I still get random boners. I shave my asshole and that has stopped it from ever getting itchy.

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Is it gay if I get my fingers right up my hole when I wipe? I genuinely like the sensation but justify it to myself by saying I want to be totally clean

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It's probably hemorrhoids. Get some store brand Preparation H cream. Clean your anus, dry it, then apply. Keep doing so until your anus gets less itchy. If you don't, it'll keep itching, scratching, stay dirty, and then you have anal fissures and bleeding.

Pic very faintly related.

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I stand up and put one foot on the toilet so I can get right up there. I also am completely naked when I poop.

I just ding-dong diddly took a poo, lads. Feels good

you’re probably wiping too hard, and when the skin is growing back it itches. The more you scratch, the more the skin will need to grow back and the more it will itch. Ya gotta power through it and pay yer dues.

Get one of these bad boys.

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Was it in the loo?

Is it weird I stand up to wipe? If it is I blame having my dad wipe my ass until I was 10

>my dad wipe my ass until I was 10

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I've been wanting to get one of those anus cleaners that blow or suck air or something out of your asshole and flushes all the gunk out

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Use the spray though. Powder works fine but can get a bit messy

I stick my ass in the sink and use it like a bidet

>whatever was inside me near my rectum seeps out
STOP EATING JUNKFOOD