I'm literally Zack Ryder AMA

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>no tripcode in OP

literally what was the point?

like crate and barrel

no im never winning anything but a pity tag match at this point

thanks broski

You winning the IC belt was the greatest moment in Mania history in the past decade. Just thought you should know.

How big is Batista's dick?

faggot OP giving himself praise.

you just got pwned friendo

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Like a 6 inch beer can

Did Emma steal any of your things?

My heart and my n64. She loved Donkey Kong 64 and thats not innuendo ftr

She got signed by the dub so she has to blend in with the rest of the foot soldiers

If you're literally Zack Ryder then why don't you literally get the chances you literally deserve.
I don't think there's many people that would be adverse to a Zack Ryder push.

Mark

No I'm Matt, close though.

>sold his soul to collect WWE paycheck and spend it on toys
>doesn't do anything to further his career
>stagnant
>literally ate a donut off of someone's ass to avoid training

what a ding dong diddly simp

I got over when it wasnt part of the script. I might have well just spit in Vinces face in his eyes. Looking back I might have done things differently but at the same time I'm just a contractor and WWE has kind of an unfair amount of pull for people on 1099

What?

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WHat happened to the big O?

How would unionize go over in this day and age? Do you think WWE could handle the PR backlash if the workers were to strike?

Real Zack here, you broskis are getting worked by the OP.

Would Vince get a giant boner from that or would he be seething ?

Why the creative team spelled your name wrong?

Zack isn't a pokechild.

What’s your stance on Jake Robert’s 22 promo because I see a lot of people online and in wrestling communities trying to tear down the old Snake with what they consider the "Worst promo of all time" but in reality we the masses have been too dumb to understand the level of kino that Jake was throwing down
>Everyone over the years have attributed the "You wanna play 21? I've got 22" line as being a sign that Jake doesn't know the rules of Blackjack
>In actuality what Mr. Roberts means is that he has a .22 Caliber gun, and that even if his opponent truly has the perfect hand he will not walk away the victor because he is vicious and will do anything to win.
>The line "Do you wanna play blackjack? I got two of those to" is then him saying that he has two actual blackjacks, a type of crude club used to bash people
>Finally the line "You wanna play Aces and Eights? I got too many of those to" is probably the most kino of them all
>Aces and Eights goes by another name. They are called "Dead Man's Hand" because it is said to be the cards that Wild Bill Hickok, a famous outlaw, was holding when he was shot dead
>Jake is then implying that he has led a trail of men who thought they could best the snake only to wind up dead at his hand over the years.
It's time to face the facts, that even while ballooned of his ass on enough drugs to kill a bull, Jake Roberts could still cut a more cerebral promo than anyone else in the history of the business.

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If done right it would be forced to go over. All it would shoot take is a front page reddit post detailing all the draconian bullshit the WWE puts on all the employees its just hard to break into the newscycle without a big tragedy or controversy

This. OP is Hawkins.

Do you wish Chelsea bought you 30 year old children's toys like Gargano and his Gramma?

It's not actually Zack Ryder lmao, go have sex.

This is Zack telling us that he was hanging out with us: twitter.com/ZackRyder/status/1101934044269473793
Also don't forget pic related.

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When is he joining the Insiderz?

sorry i didnt post to my gram like a mark

Zack ,thoughts on dolphin ziggler ?