New Duke

starts out as a "dated" 2D platformer like OG Duke to filter out normalfags and then a few levels in you get the proper advanced, next-gen, immersive shooter

The world he's in should be super serious while he takes the piss. People should react to him the way they would in real life: with disgust. Duke should have zero self awareness

By changing nothing

first off he has to be black.

what's up yahtzee

make him black.

>modern standards

Kill yourself, you waste of fucking oxygen.

>Black
Done.

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this, basically.

Duke is brought back through a time machine because in the future aliens have invaded but the human race had moved beyond the need for violence and are all pussies. They get duke to come back to both save them and bring back big dick energy to the species.

you don't. the devs that currently have the IP fucking hate the franchise or any devs that liked it are probably dead or out of the industry.

Duke being a shallow, masculine protagonist IS PART OF THE AESTHETIC APPEAL OF THE FUCKING SERIES. it's fun dipshit! it's part of the soul that's reflected in the entirety of Duke Nukem 3D!

if we had a modern day version of him (which we did), it would be a very cynical take, or even worse, what the fucking retards are recommending in this thread. a (((subversive))) deconstruction of everything the franchise stood for.

because there's no fucking way in hell you are going to have a straight, white masculine protagonist in an FPS today that just runs around and shoots shit in cool levels with little story or plot.

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Don't change Duke at all, but make people react to him like they would in real life. He's rich now and living in Vegas just like in DNF, but he's basically cancelled from society for his non PC behavior. Woke activists protesting against him being acknowledged even though he saved Earth multiple times.
Until alien bastards invade again, and he's needed again.

It's a good idea

Not with disgust, just a bit of cringe.

This guy gets it.

if I was in charge I would pretty much make him about fun weapons, well designed levels and good jabs at other games and such. probably just tone back the women aspect.

alternatively, introduce shelly as an equal who maybe you play as in some levels a la Arbiter. Duke gets her out of jams, she saves his bacon some times (this part only happens in cutscenes).
Basically all the cucks out there don't like the objectification of women, so just slap one bad-ass equal woman to Duke in there, make the game about jokes and kicking alien ass and call it a day.

>>he's thinks the right (what ever that is) still puts it's faith in zion don
>>still obsessed about trump and believes in elections being legitimate

the one thing that comforts me in times like these is that people like you will end up destroying yourselves and your own kind in the end.

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Make it sidescroller like Manhattan Project/ I-II
Add style meter and dedicated one liner button

It would be so entertaining to approach different NPCs, all with wildly different negative reactions to you. Shock. Disgust. Cringe. Pitty. Fear. Anger.

THOSE SHRIMP BASTARDS ARE GONNA PAY FOR FRYING MY RICE

I'd make him an absolutely washed up, fat, idiot boomer. Forget the plot of DNF, the game starts with dumbass old Duke ranting to an Applebee's waitress about the time he defeated the aliens 30 years ago with the fervor of a guy ranting about how he scored the winning touchdown in his high school state championship game. In his day to day life, Duke enjoys mowing his yard, drinking beer, and watching cable news.
But when a shady megacorp releases a horde of mindless clone slaves into society, the aliens take it as an opportunity to invade again. Only the clones cheer on the invasion! Can Duke shape up and regain his sense of masculinity, charisma, and physical strength in time to push back the aliens and fix society? Or will he not even notice anything wrong and just continue his mediocrity unbothered?
>Duke Nukem the Midlife Crisis Boomer Shooter

It's a first person shooter that plays like good and Duke is a badass that kills aliens.

>Boomer Shooter
Yes. Please. I feel like the best way to ape the current "boomer shooter" trend is to make a literal boomer shooter. 112340/10, encore, bravo, bravo. Do it fgt.

Also dedicated one-liner button.

You really can't. Even most tame joke about current things will mark you as a far right extremist and game will be banned in the Free West ™

>mindbroken
Heh

Mate the world broke me loooooong before this thread.
I wasn't being sarcastic, though, if that's what you're implying. I get the internet makes it hard to convey tone but I am 100% sincere. I NEED 48 year old washed up jaded duke: the game. It'll be funny. Trust me.

Definitely this! The jokes could be amazing, and Dr. Proton taken out of the freezer as well.

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>Dr. Proton taken out of the freezer as well.
They killed Proton in the DNF DLC. But then again with how mutable canon is in this series anyways I'm sure that's just a small speedbump.

>JSJ
J. Sona Jameson?

But yeah from a realistic practical minded perspective either it playing it completely straight or doing the demolition man thing would probably be the way to go. I doubt the modern games industry has the proper finesse to do Old Man Nukem justice.

this

Duke has a breakdown and comes out as trans. The entire game culminates in duke deciding if she still wants balls of steel or a pussy of steel.

in the end he kills himself

>They "killed Proton" in the DNF DLC
>turns out it was a backup clone and the real one's still in cryoprison
Problem solved

>DAMN, I'M UGLY

make him woman
also when xpac

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Perfect. Now go and submit your rezoomay to gearbox, you're clearly head writer material. Maybe you can replace what's his face, Anthony Burch?

fuck off zoomer

Shit that would be incredible.

To build on that; Duke should very clearly and openly be a heroic figure.
None of this 'Oh he's a jock asshole' shit, nah, Duke is the King baby and the King in his fullness is a decisive figure who protects others.
He's got his flaws built in, a huge ego, a tendency to shoot from the hip and no time for people that are more hesitant than he is. But when it comes to the crunch Duke is trying to do the right thing and that should come across loud, clear and consistent throughout the story even if he's written off in setting as an egomaniac brute.
So, yeah, kind of like John Spartan.

and add in a alien babe romancing minigame
Boom
GOTY

blow it out my ass

God of War 2018 but it's Duke and son and/or daughter going on a roadtrip.
His son is Johnny Bravo and his daughter is a weeb and they're both losers.

That's just Ion Fury

just make him duke nukem
adapting shit didn't work very well for sam, remember?

Literally just Duke 3D gameplay in Unreal Engine 5

The interactivity would blow zoomers' minds

Duke Nukem is peak masculinity. SO genderbender Duke Nukem should be peak femininity with big hips and boobs. Not your plane Jane cashier from convenience store.
Fucking retards I swear.

Give the Build engine a level editor that isn't literal, actual human feces. Simple as that.

this minus the ue5

Early concept of Bombshell was like bimbo blonde. But dunno, i dig new one too, Die Hard feel actually.

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jon st john

An overcompensating numale whose entire personality is qouting pop culture goes around shooting pigcops in L.A.
What's there to update?

I would have let this boomer shit die in the 80s where it belongs

dad bod dad bod!

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