Be randy

>be randy
>release your tripple aaa game on EGS
>get ultra rich
Why are steämies always wrong bros ?

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Prepare for this decade's Aliens: Colonial Marines

>randy
>aaa
>egs
>ultra rich
Made me chuckle.

post the bathroom

>what should we do?
die, randy. That would be a great start

youtube.com/watch?v=jMSKUmBhLLk

>implying THQ would let his retarded ass even near another IP after Duke Nukem and Aliens

>we

Lawbreakers, obviously

>I see no one has mentioned

Nobody mentioned it to him because gearbox would fuck it up lel

So what does this mean for duke nukem?

He like Lara may be added to a borderlands game as DLC one day.

So we're gonna get a lara croft sexual assault quest huh? well I cannot wait to see how cringy this will be

Reminder that Randy has DNF98 and refuses to release it.

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do you think his full name is randal

Randall S. Pitchford II
Don't ask me what the s stands for because i don't know it eiter

Randy you will do nothing with Duke because you are a huge bitch.

Squirting

Randy the Astonishing

Sandal

Salacious

Didn't he claim the game on EGS didn't sell enough copies, just so he can deny his devs their bonuses while giving himself a $12 million bonus? He didn't get rich off game sales on EGS, that's for sure.

Oh and give the money back you stole from Sega, back to Sega first then kill yourself like this user here said, Randy.

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whoever thought it was clever or epic to send me the link to this forum making fun of my post – way to go dudebro. you really showed me. no one here in needs to worry about reproducing, look in a mirror

>tripple aaa
AAAAAAAAA?

>the Randyman putting his greasy claws anywhere near Lara
And here I thought the capacity to feel such a thing as genuine horror had been burned out of me long ago.

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>resorting to dodging filters because you know you are nothing more than an obnoxious piece of shit
Do something better with your life OP

Randy Cringeford

youtube.com/watch?v=2BmuPUiYAX8

THE LOATHSOME RANDY PITCHFORD

Here's your cel-shaded pancake Lara Croft bro

how about a duke + lara crossover with some boomer game engine

Yay, the shittiest store in all of PC gaming that took until 2022 to manage to even get a shopping cart acquired a franchise that is dying and nobody cares about and a franchise that is dead and nobody cares about.

At least these poor once-great franchises will finally be given a burial after Epic attempts to Borderlandify two franchises that excelled on fanservice and being offensive get neutered into some hamfisted wokefest that bombs.

CAUSE WE JUST WANNA SEE THE HOT HOT SIDE OF RANDY

Hire someone to keep an eye on Randy before he spooks all the investors/customers with his bullshit.

Imagine sitting on the Duke IP during a retro fps renaissance.

Does he still own Duke outright after he sold Gearbox to Embracer or what? Is it Embracers now?

who gives a shit about duke? wasnt even relevant 10 years ago

I want to shoot him in the head.

Do you think Randy isn't doing anything with Duke right now because he knows whatever half-assed garbage his team shits out would just be overshadowed by literally everything else already on the market?
personally I doubt he's that self-aware

Stealing

The only good thing Randy did was Opposing Force and I even doubt he contributed much. Give us the DNF2001 build!

S-he's older on my PC folder

He will be a skinny boy.

Embracer has nothing to do with epic

finally put lara and dick suckem into the same game

>randy posts porn fanart of borderlands
>people say he is a creepy weirdo
>yoko taro posts porn fanart of 2b
>people say he's quirky and based

Literally "it's ok when japan does it".
If Randy were Japanese you would be licking the ground he steps on but because he's a proud American you reject him

you didn't even get randy's game right in your bait post

If randy were japanese then maybe he would be able to make a half-decent game that i want to play.

>same family
What do THQ and Gearbox have to do with eachother?

kek

>Steals money from Sega
>Nothing happens
>Creates the flop Battleborn
>Nothing happens
>Makes a subreddit for Battleborn porn
>Nothing happens
>Leaves barely legal porn and company files on a USB at a Medievil Times
>Nothing happens
>Buy a pedo club in LA for him and his magician buddies
>Nothing happens

Fuck Randy but he's oddly powerful

>Karen Croft and Duchess Wokem
Who gives a fuck anymore about these ruined, overplayed, mediocre hands.

His wife literally weighs 300KG

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he didn't lie, he was a genius. By taking the Epic cut, he was able to circumvent the clause. The cut does not equal to sales, only after the equivalent of cut money game units is sold, the real sales start.

I want you to do nothing and leave the poor franchises alone.

I hate randy sooooo much just as much as cliff bazinga

>If I were a rich man ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum

Thank God Embracer doesn't work like that, they are all independent from each other from what I can tell. Pitchfuck will have to ask for permission before he can touch any property

I mean what did he expect she was fat back then too.

Please don't let this greaseball near any of the newly gained IPs, thanks.

>Embracer Group
>Swedecucks
Don't fucking come near it. It's already woke even without your touch.

@597866571

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Ss

Swindler, SEGA wants their reparashuns, Randy!