What Pokemon would you have as a pet?

I used to masturbate onto pigeons at a local park. Not a thing I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became like a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn with you. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons prefer white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Anyway I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

>Yessssss my pokemons… so cute… makes me wanna cooom… I catch them with pokeballs, so I may summon one whenever I want to COOOOOOOM yes COOOOOOOOM HNNNNNGH AAAGH IM GUNNA COOOOM COOOOOM COOOOM (I’m a feminist btw)

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Kirlia's so fucking cute and sweet. I'd treat her to some fancy restaurant, than take a long romantic walk with her, holding hands and talking about philosophy, art and dreams. Then I'd invite her to my home and ravage her hot ass for hours, and forcing my cock up her throat so she chocked on both the throbbing cock and her own rectal juice. I'd then proceed to cum on her cute innocent face. Then. as the ultimate love gift, I'd carry her in my arms to the tub and let my piss wash away the semen and last dignity from her. I'd wisper "I love you" and give her a tender smile, and cut her throat from ear to ear with a knife. Covered in her own warm blood, she'd look straight into my very soul, forgiving, understanding. A bubble from blood and saliva would burst between her lips, then she'd die. After some additional lovemaking, I'd stuff her into a bin bag. Three weeks later, some playing bug catchers will find her mutilated and desecrated body in the forest.

They will be scarred for life.

I don't get it

Haunter

step away from the pokemon

Literally Meowth

Slowpoke seems low maintenance and relatable. If its lack of intelligence ever got annoying, I could evolve it to Slowking.

these crazy niggas

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thats my wife!

DELETE THIS

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Garchomp

Mega Audino is more cute but yeah

Thats cute.
Shame Delcatty is so useless in the game, I still have her in my team regardless when shes available.

hm.

That's easy, I'll get a Hypno so she can hypnotize me to believe that she's a Renamon. I've gamed the system.

Trainer trades the Delcatty from generation to generation, leading to them meeting up again with the gen 3 remakes

You mean wife, right?

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>Only the humanoid ones
Man appreciate some Sylveon or Oddish pussy.

SEX personified.

Are you sure you didn't do this on a playground?

Wouldn't it be overleveled and unusable when you transfer it to a new game?

Arcanine.
It's just a giant dog I love it.

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Stop thinking about the details
No, I'm not sure when they started doing it but the newer games will let you trade pokemon with hms. You just aren't allowed to use the hm moves outside of battle until you get the corresponding badge.

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Cute and wholesome :3c
>Delcatty isn't in SWSHit
Uhh, I meant, no one cares about your fucking Delcatty you dextranny

Nicola Tesla, is that you?

>those last four panels
AAAAAAAAAAH
is there more like this?

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But what about that bit where it doesnt obey if its overleveled?

nobody's laughing

Imagine the food bills

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Shut the fuck up and enjoy the comic

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Imagine the shits

Arcanine is easily large/fast enough to commute with.
So you could feed it with saved gas money (partially)

So basically the comic is possible but inaccurate. Were it to be better made they would have the same adventure but the cat would have to be dragged kicking and screaming?

Tyrantrum

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Every type seems pretty useful.
>Psychic types can understand you perfectly and help you sort through your issues, hopefully they don't just lobotomize you so they don't have to hear about how much you want to fug
>Ghost types can help you pull pranks and do shit with incorporeal powers.
>Dark types are edgelords that can safeguard you from psychic and ghost fuckery, so you can at least have some peace of mind if you are a degenerate.
>Steel, rock and ground types can help you build foundations and living spaces.
>Grass types can potentially stop you from dying of hunger
>Ice types can stop you from dying of heatstroke
>Water types can stop you from dying of thirst
>Dragon types can fuck shit up and protect you from the elements
>Electric types have the greatest amount of utility with modern technology
>Flying types can let you travel wherever you want potentially.
>Fighting types can do hard labor without breaking a sweat.
>Fairy types are able to protect you from dragons, and are able to detect if your living conditions are shit.
>Poison types can make some great perfume and medicine if they're used properly
But I'm at a loss for normal and bug types. What can they accomplish?

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a shuckle

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Meowth. Pay day erry day.

Dunsparce

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You now remember the user who traded his Gardevoir forward and posted about it

>Normal
"Being a jack of all trades, master of none" sort of thing maybe?
>Bug
Spiders could help use their web for quick makeshift patches, the winged bugs (butterflys, bees, whatever) may be good at searching out food sources?
Also protection. I don't know about you, but if someone is running at me with a beedrill behind them I'm not going to stick around.

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>not letting her gentle dom you
NGMI

Normal seems like the type you could easily find something to just cuddle with. Maybe not to the degree of fire types to warm you up, but a lot have that fluffy quality to them, or could arguably be a bed or pillow. Bug's might be good at finding other creepy crawlies and disposing of them for you.

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this.
the wild one is objectively hotter too

It’s not fair why did alphas go extinct?

I'd prefer it this way.

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cloude birde :)

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what

motherfucking wooper

I would KISS that one.

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lol autismo

This fluffy pillow right here
>Soft fur
>Probably purrs like a cat
>Adorable as fuck
>Can put me to sleep when I need it.

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>can have all sorts of fantastical creatures as a pet
>choose a fucking cat
why? you know you can just adopt a cat right now