Gamerbros

i game laying down and never get them. the weight is evenly distributed

Attached: setup_bed1.jpg (1100x584, 209.9K)

>gamerrhoids
didn't godzilla beat him up?

feels like having a really itchy butthole but trying to do anything to make it feel better (scratching it, wiping, pooping, just trying to fucking clean it in the shower etc) feels like jamming red hot barbed wire up there

that was gonorrhea

Sometimes my poop is kind of dark and it's a little concerning

Attached: 1634968189605.jpg (400x387, 35.27K)

gay sex

I got a really fucking bad one a few years ago from having such a messy series of shits for a week that they took 10 minutes to wipe each time. They protruded and I thought I was going to bleed to death because of the amount of blood that constantly was coming out of my asshole.

i got one after a long elden ring pvp session recently raging so much probably also prolapsed my rectum or some shit

I drink lots of water.
When I let out shit that's 12 inches long it feels so good I get hard without thinking or touching myself. Man no wonder there are a lot of gays.

Unironically just use lots of soap as lube for your Chance the Horse™ (Flared) in XL. Doing it a couple times a day ensures you never get hemorrhoids.

I have it and I don't even game. I'm trying to go to work with an itchy burning asshole for two weeks shit sucks. I was about to get them banded but after the doctor fingered me, he said no, that's for internal hemorrhoids only. They should heal on their own but it's been two fucking weeks and I don't like getting docked pay for my asshole of all things. I should've just been a fucking NEET

Never had that on my life.

helped me

Attached: 91TcPdSqfkL._AC_SL1500_.jpg (923x1500, 241.8K)

They're literally in or on your asshole, right? Every time I get any kind of abrasion within six inches of my asshole I think it's hemorrhoids and freak out.

Developed an anal fissure late last year. Complete agony when I take a shit. So I gave up on solid foods. Lost a ton of weight so at least something positive came out of it.

>tfw I have been having non-stop diarrhea for months broken up by greasy oily poops that are either green, yellow very dark brown in color

Attached: 1651118063333.jpg (749x1066, 334.06K)

Stop playing phone games on the toilet, you goobers. The john is for shitting; not relaxing. If you spend too much time gaming on a hole your gussy gets roidy.

Attached: 1501804299677.png (500x375, 226.76K)

I have hemorrhoids, i don't feel pain unless i take a big shit, and even then it's pretty mild, but I've had them for like 2 months, how do i get rid of them

Attached: 1651118077506.jpg (425x523, 47.63K)

Went a little too hard with the dragons and had a bit of blood, not a huge concern though, wasn't really bright red, definitely came from slightly inside, maybe sigmoid sphincter.

Use baby wipes user, Jesus Christ.

Or stop using cheap ass toilet paper.

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5479997/
Actually, you should literally dilate if you have gamer hemorrhoids.

Sitting too much, also it's a real pain in the ass, literally.

Don't baby wipes dry out your asshole and make you more prone to them anyways?

You literally don't.

Stuck a literal bullet in my ass for relief.

This. It's my own fault

Attached: 20220427_165058.jpg (4032x3024, 3.01M)

congrats you have celiac disease

I've been shoving things up my ass for like 18 years and I've never had hemorrhoids
Have ass, asslet

Lose weight you fat fucks

I've had watery shits my whole life and now these past few mnbths they are started to be perfectly formed and not greasy at all.

Like I'm almost afraid somethings wrong with me.

hemmeroid surgery is the most basic bitch shit anyway. Just get them fucking removed

So wait, any time you wipe and feel pain and see a little blood you're popping a hemorrhoid? I always thought it was because I wipe too hard sometimes, I hate the idea of having shit on my ass so I always wipe a lot.

video games

hemorrhoids are nothing compared to a trapped nerve. Have you guys even had your ass hurt so bad you went into shock?

>not using based Tucks
Even if you don't have roids, these are great. They're like wet-naps for your asshole.

Attached: 71e5UUapb1L._AC_SL1500_.jpg (1307x1295, 161.26K)

remember to get yourselves checked frens
thought i had a hemorrhoid because of bloody shits but it turned out to be cancer so dont risk it

Then what the hell are the balls in my asshole that sometimes bleed when i wipe

Attached: 1651118260802.jpg (680x671, 16.87K)

>Roommate buys the toilet paper
learned my fucking lesson on that one
I don't want to use baby wipes because they don't flush well

Stop eating fruit loops.

Or use the chemical free adult wipes from a pharmacy.

Trust me it's nice having a clean asshole without getting paperburn.

What would this smell like bros...

Holy shit this thread

Attached: 1650090997882.jpg (529x545, 41.17K)

just use toilet paper on the first wipes and then baby wipes to throw in the trash and finish with another tp wipe

You guys ever had to get your hemroids drained at the hospital? Not fun.

Uhhh... user blood IN the shit is serious.

>tiny poop like once every hour
>endless wiping because I can't push the next bit out
I'm fucking tired of it all. Fiber and water aren't helping much either

I don't eat fruit loops

Almost passed out from horrendous pain once yeah but it was period cramps I hope

Try water

decent idea but i don't like the idea of having anything with shitstains on it lingering in my home

congrats you have IBS

Do you do any cardio? I always shit good aftet a nice run.

Clean your room

I ripped my asshole at a young age because of rape (don't worry he's dead now) and it grew into this massive skintag. Shit looks like the Sarlac.

this.

You wretched pigs deserve your ass pain.

do not eat oreos or anything else with dark food coloring

>End up getting hemorrhoid on outer rim of asshole
>Not painful but pretty uncomfortable and makes wiping a fucking disaster
>Third day I notice it fucking starts bleeding and doesn't fucking stop
>Go to hospital
>End up showing my asshole to five doctors in the same room
>"Oh that's a good sign that it's leaking"
>They take me into another room
>Have me lie on a fucking table
>They slice open the hemorrhoid and squeeze out the blood clots

Attached: 1638668550457.png (243x264, 139.45K)

congrats you have giardia

No, I never have blood in my stool. It's only on the tissue when I wipe multiple times and I can feel the pain. It's not bad pain, feels like cutting yourself my accident.

Use a stool softener

>I wipe too hard sometimes

That's what causes them because you are literally rubbing dry paper on a sensitive part of your body.

so how do i get rid of it? i had one swell up out of fucking nowhere and its been a month, now it's not as big as used to be but its really weird to feel that bump i already tried ointments but it doesnt do shit and if anything it irritates it even more

You just have to find the wipes that specifically advertise as biodegradable, flushable/septic safe, and are 100% wood pulp (same ingredient as toilet paper)

>Markerbutt
Ah, yes, it is the absolute worst. Your asshole is like a crayon.

....How do they drain them? A syringe?

Yeah don't do that sounds like a roid.

real boomer hours
i know at least half of you fucks are over 30

Attached: 6239421232.gif (490x371, 497K)

Just get a bidet already, they come in cheap-ass attachments now that you can install yourself to the toilet; doesn't even have to be heated.

oh, well you're liver may be dying. You don't happen to be an alcoholic?

I'm tempted to squeeze and pop my hemorrhoids but it hurts so bad, but I want to pop them, it's so unsatisfying HELP

Attached: 1563491204063.png (404x399, 8.95K)

congrats you have spleen cancer

I swim so I don't think it's cardio related

Fucking kek this thread
I love taking shits
I spread my cheeks, sit down, and take a nice, solid shit. Smooth, no stress, clean. Wipe with toilet paper a few times, wet wipe, toilet paper. Repeat last two steps until I'm fresh. Only time I have a bad shit is after heavy drinking, and even then it's just runny and smells awful.
Feels good man.
You people are fucked up.

Attached: mde charls laugh.gif (292x292, 1.44M)

why would you pop them? that's literally the worst thing you could fucking do to it

Attached: 1648843295465.png (1209x1060, 1.27M)

jesus christ. did it at least get better?

Attached: 1451880587847.jpg (250x215, 5.2K)

congrats you have cirrhosis of the liver

bidets don't shoot inside your asshole
real men get in the shower with one of these after every shit

Attached: Capture.jpg (614x564, 49.77K)

>have had hemmys bleeding every other poop for about a year now

Im too embarrassed to go to a doctor and i know if i stop being a fat fuck theyll go away. then I can be topped by a cute tranny

Attached: 1473738838190.jpg (228x221, 10.15K)

just turned 29
not much time left now i suppose

Attached: 1561163011502.jpg (700x688, 68.57K)

>wet wipe
You're lucky to not have to know how badly those things ruin your pipes so you can't use them and have to settle for wetting your toilet paper instead.

>this literally happened to me to day
Wtf is this thread?
I’m terrified.

i drink but not heavily and my liver tests are fine
but it's usually worse after i drink (with dark mixers) so i dunno

You can't. They aren't pimples.

I started eating better and no longer share this problem.

>Flaunting your superior assholes
Man fuck you guys

Sitting on shit chairs

Get a stressless chair, its divine but expensive

congrats you have tape worms

I strain while fapping because it feels better and over the years has caused me to develop internal hemorrhoids that push out of my asshole like a push pop while I shit

Oh you can pop them. But all that will come out is pure blood. It's not pus or sebum.

congrats you have [insert relevant condition here]

What is hemorrhoids like? Does it hurt after you take a shit or does it mostly hurt immediately after? Does aspirin help (since it is a blood thinner)?

congrats you have ligma

I always thought I had some, but I hear they're really, really painful.

Oh shit. Is it that serious?

Attached: 1627827503235.jpg (535x593, 117.95K)

All those wasted years playing videogames, and I was never a real gamer.

Attached: 1269935628834.jpg (475x358, 21.06K)

Apparently they're supposed to be painful but mine is just itchy and it feels really good to scratch it. What stage is it in, doctor Yea Forums ?

That's why you throw them in the trash can, genius.

Is this what gays have to deal with for the rest of their lives? Imagine being a gaymer

>tfw eating better and kicking my bad habits did nothing for my stomach
>just made be feel like shit, but without having fun

Attached: 1469472155491.jpg (600x448, 82.76K)

I'm starting to think that shit is genetic, I spend most of my time sitting down and I've never had a hemorrhoid.

ligma balls

If I go over someone's house and their bathroom trash can is filled with shitty wet wipes I will leave and never return.

>....How do they drain them? A syringe?
Well first there's the needle of freezing agent the jab in to your butthole. Then they make a small incision you don't really feel. Then they fucking grab it with both hands and squeeze it like a pimple that's not ready to pop yet, you feel feel that.

FINALLY! Someone put it into words! I do hate them though. Lowkey want to lance them with a hot needle. Might be cool.

Attached: shocked.jpg (500x500, 35.73K)

>letting adult shit sit in the garbage
Unless you take out your garbage immediately, that's fucking nasty.

I remember that stage, it pissed me off. I felt gayer than ever. I think itchiness is a sign of wounds healing, actually.

Mine does. Just align it properly during installation.

What a horrible thread