The duality of men

Yes.

I played the legendary remaster last year and I just ended up making Shepard fuck Miranda. They polished her face or did something to where she didn't look as weird anymore. Liara and Tali were never interesting or attractive to me. They both have pretty fun side quests in the games, but I never had any desire to fuck them at all.

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I hate all of the romances in Mass Effect. There is no good option

nobody likes ashley

I can fix her vs I can protect her

I liked ME1 Ashley.

>attractive all female race of blue strippers
>the party member you get is an emotionally stunted nerd who blandly stammers out cringe dialogue
>also this emotionally stunted bitch in 2 or her emotionally stunted psycho daughter
>they're both bland as fuck

>Cobra Commander Burka gives you chipper engineer girl with a cute accent and a crush
>character actually speaks with emotion instead of "oh. my. sheperd...you..."
>isn't immediately romanceable because the patrician option never is
>if you don't romance her she ends up with Collar Poppin Scopin and Droppin Motherfuckin' Garrus, props to the dextro kids
>"GO FOR THE OPTICS!"

Blue tits are ephemeral, the mystery of what's under the mask is eternal. Yeah I don't give a fuck about their royalty-free photo they photoshopped into "tali" I'll accept literally any headcanon over that, the suit could be full of ants for all I care

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Fix what? Liara is flawless!

Tali is no thief.

she's a WHORE

Talifag here, she literally stole the Normandy's stealth systems just by watching the ship go brrrr. I don't have the image but I remember there being a little codex blurb about Quarian Flotilla ships having stealth systems and eezo drives suspiciously similar to the SR1.

Really, now?

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>still no lewd mods
>still no mods letting you fuck both of them

but she stole my heart...

>the party member you get is an emotionally stunted nerd who blandly stammers out cringe dialogue
shiala should've been the asari squadmate desu

my wife

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well there it is.
>"I saved the galaxy, that's my pilgrimage!"
>*sound of secret military blueprints rustling under the mask*

did she trap your soul with azura's star?

>claims it only wears that piece of your armor because there was a hole
>doesn't give a fuck about the gaping rift in its body cavity

Legion is a tsunderandroid and I love it.

You can't steal an idea. Does the Normandy still have its systems? Are they working? Is the hardware all in place?

Then what was "stolen"?

Classified military blueprints, probably.

every woman in Mass Effect is.
here is an exhaustive list of ME characters that matter:
>Garrus
he's just always there for you, which is what really counts
>Wrex
is here to fuck
>Mordin
endearingly autistic
>Grunt
he's like a kid, but with guns and thick skin
>Javik
talks all the shit at the asari nobody else has the balls to
>the girl on the cover of Fornax
just look at her!

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Based IP denier

tali not talking to chatika in 3 was one of the worst things about that game

You were the one to hire her to work on them. Was she supposed to go back and do nothing when she saw that her own drives could be improved? That's not spying.

>dude it's the open galaxy fuck IP law and military secrets

Yeah sure just let the space ukranian have our stealth tech without joining NATO what could possibly go wrong.

it's pretty clear she just soaked in everything she could through observation, it's not like she went through files for schematics and shit, but still it's a fun little "Oh you precocious little space gypsy I can't stay mad at you" moment.

based. notice how all the women overreact when bad things happen to them, but all the men act like grown-ups.
>liara
chimps out when thessia gets sacked despite the lying asari bringing it upon themselves
>tali
literally kills herself because some quarians get blown up

meanwhile
>garrus
literally listens to his dad and sister get reaper'd live on the phone, but never brings it up again
>joker
sister dies but he never lets it affect him
>javik
watched the actual fall of his civilization and woke up the last member of his species, still sees his mission through to the end

Jeff can still go to hell.

Oh yes, these technical marvels couldn't possibly come up with this by themselves...

Using save-editor and clever modding tactics, I am able to romance both and more at the same time across the trilogy without any repercussion. Ashley is the only one that I never romance since I instinctively let her die on Virmire every single playthrough.

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Yes it's very interesting that they developed it in exactly two years after ME1 with a similar system to a fucking prototype ship there was only one of. Pure coincidence.

id fuck em both
but I'd rather a turian

Developed with what resources? Remember they can barely keep their existing ones afloat.

>let's her get killed in the suicide mission
Nothing personnell, quarians...

>attractive
draws on eyebrows
>brilliant
she's an awful shadow broker who's only alive because she has plot armor and shepard protecting her
>sexually-open
why is that a good thing?

>brick wall vs sexy space gypsy who is down to fuck
Tough choice, I'll pick the one that every heterosexual picks.

>one man face and one masked face (so you can imagine it's a man face)
this just shows men are gay

honestly death in the line of duty is better than letting her survive to 3 and become that abortion of her entire character.
>guys I know we already have a bunch of sexy ladies in spandex
>but what if we took the GI Jane that wears heavy armor and make her a space stripper?
look at how they butcher her. I don't even like her and look at how they butcher her.

>Yeah I don't give a fuck about their royalty-free photo they photoshopped into "tali" I'll accept literally any headcanon over that, the suit could be full of ants for all I care
They changed it in the remaster, by the way.

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>DUDE IT'S A HUMAN WITH EYEBROW LINES

Gay.

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>all-female race

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Actually pretty cute desu.

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>t. China

KROGAN COCK

>t. amerigolem

>literally a bald woman
>""""attractive"""
I'll take the nerdy burka

i liked kelly

it felt like the writers both didn't like and didn't understand her.

You can sing that in place of Tony Hawkamoeba
youtube.com/watch?v=k2JFpfTPHvo

I honestly thought it was a meme when I saw SFMs of that creature start popping up

why is there so much asari futa stuff? same with dranaei, is it just the blueness and slight alien-ness that lends itself to it?

fucking kek what a blast from the past

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both are sexy alien races with no men so futa cocks it is

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asari, draenei and night elves are the big 3. Asari because their entire species is female so people decided to give them a cock so they can reproduce. No idea where horsecocks and elf dick came from though, just ERP from Goldshire probably.

kelly liked varren

>Ashley quotes Whitman in 1
>no callback to it in 2 even though O Captain is a funeral poem

Left is a shy nerd virgin though? The fact she comes from a slut race only drives the point harder.

>if only you knew how futa it really is.jpg

>shields means all traditional human firearms are completely worthless
tfw can't boomstick batarian scum to death with a historical artifact of humanity

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>sexually open
Liara was a virgin.

still, all the weapons are weird double barrel designs anyways, so a Super Shotgun that runs on E0 shouldn't be too much to wrap the mind around.

Chakwas was always the best.

I've always hated Liara. She's probably the most boring Asari you meet in the whole series. I would've much rather had the one you free from the mind control plant join you instead.