Basedboy faggot journalists are creaming their pants over this overpriced piece of hipster dogshit

reminder that the crank is just for controlling the games, you can't charge the battery with it

I really don't get why everyone is creaming their pants over this stupid hipster thing, and the price is ridiculous considering the hardware inside. The screen can't even do grayscale, something even the original Gameboy could do. This thing even has less buttons than a Gameboy considering the menu button can't be used for game inputs.

No shit, to be actually able to charge it the crank would need to be considerably bulkier and heavier, plus require enough force that children would not be able to spin it. You can't generate any usable amount of power from a component that tiny.

I will shove it up my own ass for 500€ and you can have it back after.
You'd also have to pay for this piece of flimsy plastic.

This device was designed to make hipsters pretend they're doing retro programming while this thing can easily run quake 2

urgh, when do you "gamers" finally understand that not every game console has to be about "fun"...

Attached: istockphoto-1318016937-170667a.jpg (416x416, 36.23K)

Having the buttons right under the screen like that seems horrible.

A
FUCKING
CRANK

Never mind the """journalists""", what about handhelds in general? I think they are dogshit. Who the fuck over the age of 15 really uses them?

If I'm travelling for work, I just bring my laptop.

everyone is always complaining about how the games industry is too corporatized and no games have SOVL anymore
well right here is your sovl machine. games made to just be games and nothing more. games with limited graphics and inputs. tasteful 1 bit dithering. games that look like vib ribbon.
devs don't care about sales numbers because they've already been paid. i mean shit they got keita takahashi and lucas pope. Yea Forums creams their pants over those two people.

tldr you'ure fucking stupid kiddo.

Jealous you don't have one?

What does the crank do?

>sovl
>from the makers of Mac software
>from the publisher of untitled goose game
user, please…

Why? Worked for Nintendo handhelds for decades.

panic isn't making any of the games
they didn't even fully design the software, it's a collab with teenage engineering.
are you just envious you won't get to play lucas pope's latest masterpiece?

Give it hipster cred

the didn't fully design the hardware*

Why is it so small? What does the crank do? Who is it made for?

its up
youtube.com/watch?v=ZGdP59hhiDg

Attached: mjr.png (190x192, 52.59K)

>game has shit gameplay = shit controls
>game has shit writing = shit story
>game has shit art style = shit graphics
If you are attempting any of the above and fail at it, the game will not be fun. End discussion, go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Attached: 1646238638323m.jpg (1024x865, 126.17K)

>2022
>no backlight
are they fucking serious? the gba got shit on for this in 2001

Attached: 1604866397589.png (318x354, 133.4K)

There used to be entire PCs made for kids that could be charged with a crank, there's no reason shit shitty B&W handheld couldn't do it.

in order for the crank to generate any meaningful amount of power it would make the device 3 times as thick. what's the point? people are already used to charging devices. it would take like an hour of cranking to charge the thing.

Damn his neck fat got really bad

Perhaps you should stop following said journalists.
I've only ever seen this thing mentioned on Yea Forums.

look at the state of gaming and you'll see. retards skew things downward and reduce overall quality.

New basedjack just dropped

Imagine how flabby he is without a shirt.

I'm pretty sure these guys looked at the ouya and said, "We could do a gameboy version of that shit". The entire concept reeks of meme marketing and overhype to get backers.

It's a mantle piece. You play it in public then one day a cute girl will be curious about it and crank the motor for you.

Attached: 1647825063487.jpg (3024x4006, 2.77M)

Look at their synths. They're overpriced as fuck and borderline snake oil.
The price could be much worse and hipster kids would still eat it up.

Attached: 1594816597667.jpg (447x589, 48.01K)

Is this thing for toddlers? Holy shit it's small

>no backlight

Attached: 1629055257355.png (626x551, 17.79K)

why are his toes so mangled?

This thing's design is anti-autism

Attached: 5 years in paint I long for fresh air.jpg (402x400, 33.67K)

The western game industry is irrelevant. Lets be honest. There isnt a single game they shit out worth playing.

Little Big Planet was fun

seems like a fun gimmi-
>179 dollars
what the hell, can't you get a decent budget android phone and emulate for that price nowadays?

>no backlight
>screen even smaller than the GBA
>moving the crank fast inevitably moves the device and makes it hard to see
yeah, this is a no from me dawg

Target audience

Attached: grow up gamers.png (523x372, 250.34K)

The black and white screen seems like a design choice that will hamper the ability to design simple, pick up and play style games. Beyond the free games being delivered the pricetag is absurd for that hardware. I want to like the concept but there seems to be so many problems already rising with it.

It comes with 24 games. If you think each game might be worth $5, that’s $120 done already

thats assuming each game is actually worth $5, and also assuming you would want to buy every single game. the quality of most of them look like 99 cent phone games. one of them is literally just a fucking snake game

that's literally the target audience so like...

Attached: shrug.png (1110x1080, 911.72K)

Do americans really?

cheers, love.

TEMPLATE. NOW.

>no backlight or frontlight
Seriously, what is this, 1985

>as powerful as 1000 gameboys combined
>retro

Who is this shit for?

>barely cheaper than a Switch lite
>Switch already allows you to play lots of indie games
What's exactly the appeal there? I suppose it's smaller than the Switch but there's no guarantee this thing will have long term third party support, also the crack is just a bland gimmick.

yo moomma, she swallows everything bazinga

>>moving the crank fast inevitably moves the device and makes it hard to see
im expecting people to accidentally yank the thing off

>the crank is a totally necessary gimmick
>you couldnt do the same thing with the right analog stick because..... WELL YOU JUST CANT OKAY!!!!

kek. got me

>charge the battery
What the fuck LMAO! Is this considered a valid criticism??

>I forgot I put money down on one of these.

>197.22 has been deducted from account
>Wtf
>Oh fuck it's this thing

Ah shit and there's no refunds since I bought it a year or so ago.

Attached: 1649863358552.png (459x459, 222.12K)

is this the ouya of this gen ?

This is one of those things where if you try to argue about it the reply becomes "if you disagree you're part of the problem."

So eat shit.

despite how stupid it is, you can probably make a profit selling it on ebay if the hype/interest continues. assuming its sold out

Chill the fuck out user
It's just a gimmick console that won't impact the gaming industry at large in any significant manner

I thought the crank was for charging so you never run out of charge.

That's what the Wii was, too, and motion controls defiled video games for a decade.

>playstation 6 with a crank
"we from sony love to innovate..."

>being so salty that you actually forget you can't post "s-o-y" on Yea Forums anymore

Attached: whydidimakethis.png (606x536, 84.82K)

Makes people like OP cranky

Attached: 1607705066159.png (848x1036, 581.71K)

GEM

On the Gameboy they are farther down so your fingers aren't right underneath cramped up against the screen. Of course you already knew this and are pretending to be retarded.

>Who cares what retards are burning their money on?

Because those retards will influence the industry in total. Everyone just goes for the lowest common denominator and this means EVERYTHING becomes shit and does not cater to you. You should care.

It’s shit, not nearly absurd enough. Try again.

KEK

Attached: 1567740888188.jpg (125x120, 3.85K)

You're part of the problem shiteater.