Just pirated this. What am I in for?

Attached: Nyooom.webm (480x270, 820.29K)

Attached: Outskilled.webm (480x270, 371.48K)

I prefer making things like this that playing the game if im being honest.

Attached: formations.webm (640x360, 279.78K)

steve

Attached: Boom.webm (480x270, 2.63M)

*-----------------------------eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

Attached: virgin_nuke_chad_holyhandgrenade.webm (480x270, 1.44M)

Attached: Surprise.webm (480x270, 2.91M)

If you are truly blind going into the game. Stay blind until you really feel you've explored everything. Win a few times.

Then spoil yourself and see what you might have missed.

wand simulator

fun game but it has a learning curve and you will absolutely die to bullshit. dont take it hard and just start a new run.

In order to beat Noita, you gotta THINK like a squishy glass cannon wizard.
Never take risks unless you fully know what to do.
Never rush.
Never go balls to the wall until you're sufficiently strong enough
Fear everything until you can make them fear you

Pure autism simulator. What the fuck am I casting: the game. Autism galore.

Attached: 1596679598196.webm (480x270, 2.63M)

Noita is worth every cent you give them. And while I constantly pirate games, that's one of the few games I kept myself from pirating because the devs deserve it.

Read the thread first faggot

>Read
No.

Attached: 1627244819846.png (851x847, 858.82K)

Depends how autistic you are. Getting a single ending is fun. Exploration beyond that is fun for some people

Deleting it and regretting you ever downloaded it.

>"for some people"

Attached: 1544556808923.webm (480x270, 3M)

I'll be honest
I got filtered

>trial and error, the game

I'm really shit at this game. Gimme tips. When should I try and get to the next level? I tend to explore one place too long and eventually fuck up. I think it's greed and wanting to check every corner for extra health.

LOL!

Attached: sex.webm (700x700, 1.82M)

lol, i thought you got btfoed off Yea Forums when everyone called you a fucking retard. glad to see noita is a good enough game to get it's own dedicated schizo trolls.

the early levels you can kinda rush through they dont have much worth sticking around for, just some projectiles that are good later because low mana cost, all the good early shit (chainsaw, lumi drill, tele, black hole) you usually find in the shop
then nab a couple of decent wands in fungal and try to make something thatll delete the snipers and thunder guys in the snow level because theyre the real filter
and by then youre usually stable, jungle can be a bitch if you dont have anything good by then but theres usually enough wands lying around near the top that you can easily fix your issue as long as you have a way to bypass the mountain break by then

Don't rush the early levels. Go looking for hearts and explore until you really feel you won't survive for much longer.

A good start helps you have an easier mid and late game. Buff up, find cool spells to put on better wands deeper down

you're in for malware, for pirating a game. and you're also a kike because noita is one of the few good games out there made by one of the few good devs that actually promised and delivered. enjoy your miner and information being stolen faggot
i hope it was worth saving like 20 dollars for your broke ass

Attached: 1649842153244.png (341x256, 100.5K)

I have no idea how anyone would beat this game without reading online... it is absolutely filled to the brim with hidden bullshit, and tells the player nothing. I still have no idea what the fucking wooden wheel is for... In fact, I don't know what anything is for. I just try to get as far down as I can, and how far I get is decided by randomly getting good wands.

>he doesn't enjoy supporting his local pirates and hackers by donating parts of his PC/files to them for bitcoin snippets so they can eat for another day
NGMI

it has been done. too bad it will never happen again.

If you understood that your playstyle of staying too long in an area is bad it's time to rush. Rush the areas you're used to see. Everytime you get stuck change strategy until you beat the game once or twice, then read the wiki to spoil yourself everything, then do runs with other objectives in mind

Skill issue.

>updates never

I guess I don't have autism. I found it extremely boring.

You're in for pain. Even if you have a great wand and think you're invincible, you're not.

>Get one-shotted by an enemy that grabbed a wand
>Get stunned and drop several floors into a vat of acid
>Get teleported into a dangerous area and shot from all sides
>Get destroyed by your own Plasma Cutter in close proximity to a wall
>Anger the Gods despite not damaging the Holy Mountain yourself

I played around 120 games and got 5 wins before I started spoiling myself. Which I guess was 80ish hours. It gets a lot easier if you read up how things work. About the world, about wand crafting and hidden bullshit stats on perks.

Once I had an idea on how to "actually" play I've been zipping around in the world without a care. Gotten my first 11 orb boss and wondering if I should go through the ridiculous lengths of beating a 33 orb one.
But I still really think it's best to try on your own first. Because it truly shows both how bullshit a lot of the mechanics can be. And how knowing said mechanics is what really matters for a win. Walking around blind is a completely separate experience I don't think you should skip.

I angered the gods from kicking one of the fallen stones before the little pool with the fish in it. What the fuck...

Everyone says that flashy explosive are the best, but for me it's the simple pleasure of using a Chainsaw wand to rip things to pieces

These green scrolls you found in some areas, do they have a purpose later or can I safely ignore them?

You can, but they do have a bunch of uses and a true purpose

Yeah. You've essentially got to play Noita like you're a scared child playing a horror game who's on the verge of shitting his pants from fear when playing blind, cuz a lot of the shit in the game WILL just buttfuck you out of nowhere and then dump you on the floor, confused and violated.
It's only when you know what to expect that you can begin to take risks.

Just remember that the game is full of bullshit so don't attach to your runs. Try to think as fast as possible to minimize the time wasted playing a run who will one way or another end by bullshit. Do 1 or 2 runs a day and change game. This game is unique so you'll want to replay it, but you'll quickly start to wish things were implemented better. While there's no Noita 2 you'll be forced to play this by disconnecting your brain.

you dont have to collect them all if thats what youre asking
they do some stuff but its not gonna be obvious

*ahem*
FUCK HIISI
FUCK TECHNOLOGY
FUCK GUNS
FUCK FIRE
MAGE PRIDE WORLD WIDE.

idk wtf happened but the selected wand cast friendly foes instead of proyectiles.
Is this a bug or something?

Attached: Screenshot_20220417_164125.png (1920x1080, 610.53K)

you got a perk that added an always cast to that wand. it's probably always casting slimy eggs

I have no idea what this game is about and I love it
All I've discovered so far
>big ass tree to the left with a perk inside that murders you, and a worm egg
>figured this was the end of the world on the left side since the tree seemed indestructible
>you can travel further to the right by either digging underground up and out of the caves, or get over the cliff at the start to a mountain
>floating island up above the mountain with a health buff
>keep going right and there's a desert full of weird shit (some scales, a big dinosaur skull, some altar with symbols on it, the 'essence eater', I have no idea what most of this does yet)
>a pyramid with another health buff on top (I only went inside once, there's a boss that killed me)
>even further to the right will get you to a cliff face, climb up to some room with an 'earth essence' perk that also shoots lasers out of your body (that also murder you)
>if you destroy the 'essence eater' with the 'earth essence' on you, it will remove the perk and give you some magic rock
>magic rock turns most ground into soil, and lets you trigger earthquakes that crumble the ground (which usually murders you with falling rocks)
>turns out you CAN get past the tree with this magic rock, by slowly crumbling the tree and turning it to soil (very dangerous, high chance of murder by falling tree parts)
>past that is a snowy place, a lake, and another cliff face that takes you to a cloudy place with more stuff that murders you
>there's also a really dark place to the left underground you can see with worm blood, that leads to another place that murders you

I'm shit at wand making but a spark bolt that casts chain bolt on impact seems pretty reliable to snipe shit from far away. Made it as far as the vault. I don't wanna look shit up yet but not sure how much more I can do without understanding the basics

Attached: s0lmtjpijyl71.png (1074x556, 48.63K)

I wish the devs would have added a pvp mode, wizard duel or something.

Attached: 1611886263171.png (629x648, 821.36K)

Being constantly on fire and getting killed by your own spells.

>just chilling and tinkering my wands
>YOU HAVE ANGERED THE GODS

Attached: 1645556307403.gif (307x325, 3.95M)

>he thinks he's allowed to chill