>one of the most famous nintendo IPs despite being only revived for cameos and DLC in different franchises >one of the greatest arcade racing series ever >hasn't had a console release in 19 years >hasn't had a game in in 18 years, and it was japanese exclusive >series killed because it didn't shift arcade units despite there only being one arcade game for a series that was never designed to be played off-console >all of the OG games are some sort of kino >craziest nintendo lore and characters >goated OSTs
literally all they have to do is upscale a game from 2003 and they'd make so much money FUCK
No you wouldn't buy it. F-zero always sold poorly. Like Metronidazole its a game propped up by YouTube fags and emulation fags and trannoids
Nicholas Murphy
very few games get me as pumped as GX. it's literally the ideal video game. the previous game which was already almost perfect but improved. i don't understand why it's so slept on
based AX characters chad
you can't even name examples. i already know you can't. you're a dumb nigger shitter
Fuck that. Autists should just decompile it so we can run it native on PC.
Owen Flores
pc vegans don't deserve f-zero
Camden Edwards
ahem Dear Nintendo:
YOUR COCKSUCKING PRODUCT HAS REDUCED ME TO A GIBBERING MAN-APE WHOSE ONLY RESORT TO DEALING WITH THE ALMIGHTY FUCKING GRIEF IT'S BESTOWED UPON ME IS TO SCREAM AND HURT MYSELF.
Seriously, I am jumping up and down and throwing my shit in handfuls at the fucking television in some impotent primal effort to get the thing to work. I have been sitting here trying to enjoy your product - YOUR PRODUCT, YOUR GAME, YOUR CONTRACT BETWEEN DEVELOPER AND CONSUMER THAT THE CONSUMER WILL ENJOY YOUR PRODUCT - but instead the damn thing's been crawling out of the console and taking warm shits in my gaping mouth. Swear to god, you should have just added a little door to the console through which a hand pops out and flips me off, because I am insulted that your QA or testers or whatever brainless shitstove three genes short of a monkey FAGNUT signs your games through thought that a person with more than a single fucking digit IQ could enjoy Story Mode Chapter 7. INSULTED.
WORK WITH ME HERE: The goal's simple enough! Come in first! Hey, that's fine, it's just like playing the grand fucking prix; not a problem! Only deal is your cross-eyed team of tongue-slapping wunderkind decided to give the game every single fucking advantage possible TO THE GAME rather than me.
How in the fuck does Black Shadow - whose car is the heaviest and lamest piece of shit next to the Crazy Bear - suddenly become SO FUCKING GOOD that he can stay in first without using a drop of boost? Huh!? Why!? You never see this shithead anywhere near the top fucking 20 in a normal race. BUT HO HO HO THIS TIME HE'S MEGA-COCK, THE FASTEST FAGGOT IN THE WORLD. 1.21 GIGAWATTS MARTY, LET'S GO BACK TO THE FUCKING FUTURE. But it's not just Black Shadow with the magical powers, it's the entire fucking lineup of racers! THEY'RE ALL FASTER THAN YOU. AND DON'T REQUIRE ANY BOOST.
But but but I of course, am still driving some piece of shit hamster-powered jalopy who guzzles it's entire energy bar in no less than four fucking boosts! Add to this the entire course just got shitted on by some retarded space tiki volacano god and you've got a course full of hazards that'll drain at least 1/4 of your energy bar JUST BECAUSE IT CAN. WHOOPIE. HURRR, you say. THAT'S JUST THE CHALLENGE. IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EASY. Well fuck that noise, you lopsided frankenfaced fuckfurter.
Tell me, please, why does the GAME have to win? Huh? What happens when the game wins and I lose? Is there some huge fucking kegger waiting for it when it gets done? Is there money involved? Or perhaps the motives are more sinister. Maybe the game's family is being held hostage by another game and that game has it's cock in F-Zero's wife's mouth and he's holding a cell phone up to her and F-Zero can hear her pained moans and cries for help and the asshole game then says, "You beat that cock-sucking human, or I'll blow her brains out." I COULD UNDERSTAND THAT. I CAN BE SYMPATHETIC.
It's not any fun if I can't win, you faggots. I want to move on. I want to unlock that piece of shit clown car you have hidden away from me so I can start racing and get pissed off with that too. When your game prevents me from fully enjoying the product I have bought you have failed in your fucking mission to deliver a game. You lose! You break the contract! You contract the gay and fucking DIE DIE DIE.
Sincerely, Nipple Bandit IIRC some user turned this rant into a comic once but I couldn’t find it in any of the archives, sorry
F-zero isn't any faster than MK8 you only think it's fast because the game manipulates the fov during acceleration to pretend you are much faster than you really are.
Levi Roberts
Post proof
Ian Gonzalez
only hope for f zero is outside studios like gx had, criterion were apparently approached to make a new one but they were busy. no good idea who could make one these days.
Ethan Wright
>literally all they have to do is upscale a game from 2003 and they'd make so much money FUCK
have you played this game without a gamecube controller?
Oliver Walker
idk about that, the new players will but it because the falcon punch guy is in it but will quickly drop it because too hard.
Yes. works pretty well on a DS4 through emulation so I figure a Pro controller for Switch would do. I think it's actually easier without a Gamecube controller because I have BIG HANDS
Carter Williams
I gave away the memory card some time ago but I'll send you a timestamp of the game in a minute.
Adam Lewis
f zero machines are the size of tanks and exceed the speed of sound whenever they boost for mario kart vehicles, i assume(because there's no speedometer after double dash since peabrained zoomers don't like on-screen info) they never break 140 mph even on 200cc(they're fucking go-karts), even the machines in the snes f zero can go double that speed
>the game manipulates the fov during acceleration t No it doesn't? I remember GX having an extremely fixed camera position and viewport relative to the car, but if there's any relevant FoV widening when boosting, I'll happily stand corrected.
the speed of f-zero is a blatant lie numerically speaking though, it doesn't match up at all with the actual scale of the vehicles and the tracks. it's just a big number to make it feel faster, like fighting games that do 837100000 damage combos
Jeremiah Jones
>QQQ How do you pronounce this?
Isaac Evans
Honest question; if Nintendo were to suddenly announce a new F-Zero, do you think they would do it justice? How likely would they be to get it right?
Ethan Brooks
>all those girls in GX with glorious exposed tight midriffs
Lincoln Parker
>there will never, EVER be an f-zero/redline crossover game Why even live
Desu I don't know why people would still want Nintendo to make a new F-Zero after how Star Fox Zero turned out.
Remember when Imamura claimed that Nintendo would only come back to F-Zero once they had a "new idea" for it? What happened with SF Zero is exactly what they mean.
Only game that's come kind of close for me is Race Driver GRID. Still a racing game but a totally different type- arcade handling, real world cars on streets and real tracks- but it pulls it off so well with the handling, the dynamic soundtrack, the progressing car speeds and difficulty. If an F-Zero machine is like a missile that controls so tight you control it with your mind, then Codies' game is like bricks with rockets strapped to them and wrangling that controlled chaos through the Nurburgring short circuit at 200mph is pants-shitting.
>que que que Not "Que-Three," Que Square," or Triple Q?"
Jacob Williams
...
David Johnson
not a game character!
Nathaniel Morales
Oh. Lame, embarrassed female is lame. She should be baring it all and proud of it with those cool blue eyes and her hot vertical pupils.
Mason Jenkins
Honestly Nintendo has had a pretty great track record with their games this generation, I can’t think of one you can call outright bad other than Pokémon (which is mostly handled by Gamefreak anyway) and 1-2 Switch so I’d imagine a new entry would probably be pretty good. The problem is getting them to accept a gimmick that'll help it "stand out from our other racetr" or whatever while at the same time not letting said gimmick fuck with the flow of the racing too much. My pitch would be a career mode where you can make your own racer, build your own vehicle, have to get sponsored, AND you wind up getting involved in stopping the criminal underbelly of the racing world from tainting noble sport of hypersonic racing, complete with cut scenes. Also there is a couple of beat-em-up where you hunt bounties alongside/as Captain Falcon (or another racer for variety’s sake) because I’m obsessed with beat-em-ups and legitimately think every sports game would be improved with if you can stop sporting for awhile and just knock the shit out of some goons.
Aaron Campbell
She was in GP Legend and Climax. Also, obligatory: WATCH THE ANIME, IT'S GREAT
Michael Moore
So what? it still FEELS faster then Mario Kart, no matter of they "cheated" or not.
Gabriel Evans
>have you played this game without a gamecube controller? I have and the button layout for the GC works so well for it that it's hard to play it on anything else. Analog triggers also make Quick Turning far more comfortable whereas it's nearly impossible to do consistently on say, a switch pro
Jacob Campbell
I forgot she was in GP Legend, actually. Did people really not like that game? I thought it was decent fun and bringing over GX's boost system was a good idea. I mostly remember Goroh's hot girlfriend with the green hair.
>build your own vehicle Might be neat but it's really hard to balance that shit, especially in a game like GX where the stats on screen mean basically nothing and so many vehicles handle totally differently beyond just speed/turn radius. It would be difficult not just ending up with another 'Acro Lynx G4 or it sucks' scenario.
Sebastian Gomez
eh it's kind of a dragon ball situation since gp legend had a gba game but in terms of gx/ax, for me its princia ramode files.catbox.moe/7oipmc.png
