YOU, BABY. CRAWL TO TF2 Thread

>You will be moved to RED in 5 seconds if teams are still not balanced.

Move that kit up.

Anyone else impulsively wave taunt after every kill? There's no better feeling then some retard getting mad about bodyshots in chat.

taunting for the killcam is a hallmark of TF2, moreso than that Spy about to backstab someone in it, or Heavy smiling when he dies

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I just open up console and hit retry so that it doesn't balance me. The new autobalance system is somehow more fucking cancer than it used to be.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

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revert loch n load changes right now valve niggers

>press f11
>type retry and enter
>???
>next time, valvo

source 2 tf2 when

is "sniper op" the new "pyro op" variant? but I'm not surprised since last party van thread was full of "what is password" newfags casuals
never because knowing valve it just gonna break the game for years

games already falling apart with all of the hat bullshit they put in. it runs like shit compared to 10 years ago

>or Heavy smiling when he dies
tfw you're still forced to play with facial animations off to conserve frames

>sniper
>reduced fov, non-stock weapons are shit except for machina, secondary is never used except for le anti french stabber shield
>get bullied night and day by demos, soldiers and gunspies
nah, it would be soldier
>insane mobility with even basic rocket jump
>splash damage
>200 health (aka 2nd biggest health pool of the game), not counting the crutch box

>they've only done small nerfs to Soldier
>nerfed most of if not all of Scout, Demo, and Spy's secondaries
guess we know valve's favorite

Isn't rocket jumping as we know it impossible in source 2?

post screenshots
and make reaction images if you think you're funny enough

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wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/1/13/Demoman_paincrticialdeath04.wav

>he doesn't derive fun from ruining the fun of others

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what soldier item deserves to be nerfed?
they fixed the old equalizer which was pretty busted, they nerfed gunboats/point blank self damage and gutted the righteous bison
what does he still have that is too strong? his damage output is far below demos and he has to give up a huge amount of offensive capability to get the increased mobility that gunboats offer

>that feel when taunt after Machina bodyshotting enemy Snipers

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impossible?
no
impossibly hard to recreate in a way that won't upset every trolldier autist because of some imperceptible difference?
yes

>non-stock weapons are shit except for machina
That's a weird way of spelling the Bazaar Bargain.

Hitman's is pretty fun. I rarely make any use out of focus mode but it feels great when I can.

who gives a shit, i want tf2 to run better

Play cod if you love sniping so much

r8 my snoipah, m8

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>cod
>sniping
Cod doesn't let you do sniping what are you talking about?

>not giving a shit about air movement in tf2
it's literally tf2s best feature

>that pyro with more teammate extinguishes than kills

You may not like it, but this man is correct. You can take certain precautions when facing good players of other classes even when they're better than you. There's not really much to be done against a good snoipah besides hiding like a bitch or dodge and pray he won't hit you when out in the open.

>aim at feet to deal guaranteed damage
>use crutchbox to not need a medic
>combine with concheror to become an FPS character
>use escape plan to gtfo to a medkit
>use concheror to give yourself and teammates plenty of lifesteal
It's not as bad as Demo "walk backwards while laying stickies" man but it's still pretty fucking awful, the only good nerfs Valve did in the last 8 years was shitting on spy mains by forcing spread on revolvers and shitting on pyro mains by fucking with the degreaser/axetinguisher combo that was braindead easy to use but fags still insisted it took skill
>nerfed the tide
>nerfed the fuck out of most fun in mannpower
>nerfed the caber
>nerfed the danger shield
>nerfed the zatoichi
>nerfed the stickyjumper

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>he doesn't use the fempyro mod

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>random crit in casual match
>sorry
Is there anything more pathetic?

I can't, I play Casual.
>that spray
What was that artist's name? F something? They posted tons of high quality Fempyro stuff on TF2chan a decade ago when SFM was in its infancy, I think they only draw furry stuff now.

your existence

>is there anything more pathetic
Let's see, there's
>lennyface binds
>some variation of "crits are fair and balanced" as a keybind, usually spammed a few times when you get a crit kill or get crit killed
>that team all facing one direction who never turn while a Spy backstabs 6 of them in a row very easily

The engineer is engideer

jasonafex i think, guys a giant fag

>Thanks for stain and steel wanker

That's the one. Figured as much.

the only time I have ever said sorry for random crits is when I was playing soldier and I was fighting a scout who was far better than I was, clearly
I'd miss all my rockets, he'd get me down to 50~ HP and then i'd barely clip him with a crit for an instagib
this happened 5 times in a row

Game's already dead.

I can't even imagine when Overwatch 2 gets released how bad it will be for Valve.

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Thanks for the AIDS

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GO TA HELL, AN TELL THE DEVIL I'M DRUNK

>lgbt diversity anti white male 2 will be the death of TF2
I'm thinking nah.

hewwo

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hot

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where's the penis?

i have literally forgotten some of the games that were supposed to be tf2 killers
i cannot remember their names anymore
OW didn't do it, OW2 won't do it either

Valve got lucky with their audiences, honestly.
>People who play TF2 only play TF2
>People who play CS only play CS
>People who play DotA only play DotA
They have 3 solid fan bases that have stuck with their games longer than any other games. Even WoW couldn't manage that kind of player retention.

>OW2

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The only effective TF2 killer is Valve.

GREASE MONKEY

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I think Battlefield Heroes was supposed to be one. All I remember is it was a cartoony battlefield, though I never saw a second of gameplay footage.

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they'll update it after hl alyx right bro?

Battlefield Heroes was actually pretty fun. P2W piece of shit though.

>Look it up
>"Battlefield Heroes was less demanding on computer specifications than the previous games of the series to increase the audience base."
Nice to see they went hard in the other direction and started making games you need a supercomputer to run at 60FPS on HIgh

It really was, people even still play it on private servers. Though it's all tryhards and you get unlimited P2W items.

Looking at the Mario Kart map makes me sad. 99% of the references on it would be shit on now for being "reddit".

Yeah?

*phone gibberish*

wiki.teamfortress.com/w/images/b/b4/Demo_charge_windup1.wav

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I CANNOT BE BARGAINED WITH I CANNOT BE REASONED WITH I DO NOT KNOW WHERE I AM I AM A ROBOT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING I CANNOT BE BARGAINED WITH I CANNOT BE REASONED WITH I DO NOT KNOW WHERE IT IS A FULL MOON I HAVE TURNED INTO A ROBOT AGAIN I CANNOT BE REASONED WITH I DO NOT KNOW WHERE IT IS A FULL MOON I HAVE TURNED INTO A ROBOT AGAIN

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Then you don't know what makes something reddit you faggot.

Why is it whenever i want to play sniper my team have like 4-6 snipers already?

problem with sniper is that it's a singleplayer class.

Everyone wants to be the cool guy topping the scoreboard by himself.

>pocket a phlog pyro with a furry avatar and hat because he's the only semi-competent player on the team
>we dominate the other team with uberered phlog crit w+m1
>feel dirty and shameful
how do I cope?

This is why playing medic is the ultimate cuck, think about it logically.

by not playing with furry freaks

I prefer pocketing the aimhacking Sniper or speedhacking Heavy until they get kicked, leaving me at the top of the board with a bunch of assists

Minicrits below 30% charge, Full-Crits beyond.
Would make quickscoping much less of a threat, but wouldn't completely defang Snipers.

I mean whats the point of the Huntsman if the stock rifle can get quick headshot kills even in mid-to-close range anyways? Its meant to mix-up your gameplay as Sniper but instead its just a meme.

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>play scout
>run in a non-straight line and meatshot sniper
>play soldier
>rockets
>play demo
>stickyjump and pipe/donk the retard
>???
>profit
the only mains that are routinely less competent than sniper mains are spy mains.

If you are playing seriously and/or having fun, why in the blue hell do you care what a teammates avatar is or if their a furfag, nigger and such?
focus on the fun and nothing more

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WHOA HOHOHOHAHA

LOHOHAH HOHOHO

So when are they remaking this problematic game with all people of nigger and women and gays? They won't just let it die out slowly over several years, they need to kill it with progress.

*incoherent wheezing and cackling*

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>Be Sniper
>Can flick to peoples heads
>Get accused of cheating without fail every single server I go into
It's worth playing for this reason alone.

Why do you not name this webm pootis music?

youtu.be/c0I_iaMrInQ?t=25

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>speedhacking heavy
how

o-oh my, what would it look like under the suit?

CRUSH

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that ending scene animation was too good

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Double Doinking people and seeing them mad never gets old.

iirc there was an old bug where you could set the timescale on a listen server and do some black magic fuckery to maintain that timescale on your client in public servers. There was a short period where you could trigger this at 0.00001x speed, drink a can of Bonk, and be an invulnerable slow Scout forever. Possibly related to that.

This thing is my new profile picture.

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So why don't they play a cool class like Engineer or a class that can top the scoreboard like Demo

>speedhacking Heavy
why I laughed for 10 minutes straight just at the thought of a speedhacking heavy

The only time people get mad when I use the Loose Cannon is when I use it to push back ubers. I don't think anyone gets mad over getting double donked. It's not particularly easy to pull off unless you're deliberately spamming a choke for braindead donks.

>unless you're deliberately spamming a choke for braindead donks
But that's the most satisfying feeling.

I think spamming vanilla pipes into chokes is a lot more satisfying since they will, you know, actually kill everyone.

To each their own. I like that it just pushes everyone to all sides then you see them scramble back only to be doinked everywhere again

But user, chokes full of people is a phat-tastic minicrit waiting to happen!
I mostly use the meme cannon since it's one of the two that I'm good with.

daily reminder that explosive weapons should be nerfed

pocket the instead
and by heavy i mean me
uber me and I myself will lead you through the gates of VALHALLA

i'm just glad they made the amby not a pocket crossmapper like it was

>t. EOD technician

I tried playing ampy spy just an hour ago
what the hell it's the least fun I had since I tried to melee kill with sun on a dick

it's now used as a "run-away-and-pray" weapon, just hoping you can hit a head pixel while backpedaling out of their base

*amby not ampy

>you racist sexist mother fucker I'll have you know
>serious anime reaction image
Bwahahha

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Every time I see a TF2 thread I kinda want to go back, but I haven't played since Mann vs Machine, and honestly I can't go back into a game so fucked up by updates and cosmetics. What I missed in these years? Are there still good vanilla servers out there?

Aye!

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fuck you faggot
get your ass out of spawn and help me cap

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>pipe judas

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POST DEMOLITIONS SPECIALISTS BOYOS

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Sun-on-a-Stick is a damn fun weapon to a shithead like me. Slightly helpful for escaping Pyros, and fun to use when ambushing enemies already distracted by your Pyros, or to make someone rage just before they reach a health pack. If it had an Alt-Fire like the Sandman that let you throw fireballs, it'd be soooo fun.

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too lazy to crop it

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I'm the law around here, hombre.

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I use stock but respect loose cannon users

UMA DELICIA

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Gonna need a FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYAAAAAAA here!

>but sniper is shit if you are shit
That's true for a lot of classes though. A good sniper is unstoppable, there's a reason why every highlander game revolves around the class.

>actually thinks before shooting
as a loose cannon user
lol

lol xD

You just ain't doin' it right.
youtube.com/watch?v=Q4gMKSF181Y

i hate everything about casual
every single fucking thing about it is complete shit
>cant choose teams
>cant spectate
>cant switch to the other team when you want (assuming theres enough spots for you)
>99% of games are one sided stomps that are either not fun, or just boring
>have to wait a minimum of 30 seconds to get put into a new game
>the fucking ping filter option doesn't even fucking work most of the goddamn time so you get thrown into servers in dubai or somewhere far away from you
>no map voting until the end of the game
>no voting in general besides kicking people
>servers don't get refilled if people leave for some reason (and its been like this for about 4 years at this point with no fix in sight)
>when servers rarely get filled, its usually during the last 10-30 seconds of a round where a flood of 20 people show up to a map change loading screen, and usually leave because its switching to a map they don't want to play
>no sprays

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you forgot
>no mods
>basically killed the community even more than trading and f2p did
>cheaters

>craters
Top fucking nope. The only use LC has is dealing with a pocket medic combo and annihilating anyone with a crit. I've had 2x2 donks on single targets and none of them crater.

Let's step it up.
>go to loadout.tf/
>click on the gear icon
>go to Meet The Team tab and set up the picture
>post your mercs

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...except wait for the friendly spy to kill him?
It's not impossible to deal with snipers, you know.

>"The world will thank me for this, you monster."

cheaters were always a problem, though they have really gotten out of hand recently and not being able to vote kick them if theres 5-6 of them is a problem mostly because you're not allowed to votekick people from other teams which is its own issue entirely

realistically, the cheater problem would solve itself if every server was just a community run one, even if you get the occasional incident of someone being too good and making some stupid admin angry and get banned for being too good, it would still be better than dealing with 7 games in a row having 5+ spinbotters on the other team with no way to deal with them except leaving the server and hoping you don't get another game with the exact same issue

>razorback
Piss off, wankah

Alrighty then!

Oh no, a spy totally can't kill anybody without being able to backstab.

Everything in this post is mostly why i left TF2 and sold my items, just do the same and you won't regret it
You forgot
>anitcheat that never works
>Furries that will enable their cheats if you kill them once or even breathe in their direction
>Friendlies that will enable their cheats if you kill them once or even breathe in their direction
>Everybody votekicking you because some fag in VC said he saw you hacking
>Running towards enemies = friendly
>Melee is now obsolete because friendly fags will all hunt you down if you try to go melee meme builds

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>Spy: has to sneak past enemy lines to make a single pick, risking his entire plan or a 5-20 second respawn time on one dude, and provided the Sniper is wearing a Razorback, have to shoot him at close-range twice, all as the weakest class in the game, all the while he's constantly shifting positions for different picks
>Sniper: close-range quickscope
Piss off, wankah

As a medic main, i just run vacc to counter the sniper. It surveys the double purpose of getting some teammates through the snipers lane and let's me practice vacc

this entire post just revolves around cheats cheats cheats and fags you see in 4/10 servers
which is all shit that happen 7 years ago too

>Furries that will enable their cheats if you kill them once or even breathe in their direction
i thought this was a stereotype until i saw the ponyfag on the other team go to sniper and suddenly he's gibbing people the second they leave spawn just sitting on top of the roof to the cp on koth_sawmill for like 13+ kills
nigger only had 700 hours in tf2 too

Valve should concede that TF2 will never be a competitive wankfest and kill matchmaking so we can have community servers back.

All they had to do was keep the same layout as the matchmaking beta, where quickplay was left alone while competitive mode was added. Gutting quickplay without warning was one of their single biggest mistakes.

>suddenly getting lag spikes

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>listens to a small minority of TF2 just because they are greedy for that esport money
god i hate valve

>smissmass paint

>ping is perfect
>medic chooses to uber me
>ping spikes to 500 and I fail to do anything
>medic is now yelling in voicechat
I'm sorry Medic

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>medic chooses to uber me
>i have 0 ammo on primary and secondary and pyros keep airblasting us
>medic is now yelling in voicechat

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I hate tf2

vore

Hey overalls...

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This is Eltorro's best vid next to Lazy Mountain and that one with the Snipers pissing into the lake. Really great worldbuilding for a TF2 shitpost.
It may sound gay but I love this community sometimes

No wacky colors here, boss. Engie looks comfy. Throw some paint on those Rail Spikes. Minus point for Botkillers because they're ugly.

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Back off, fagboy

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i Love you even more.

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I love you, too

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i just want tf2 to have good performance again

same, the only way is an engine update

>TFC styled classes
Pretty based. Engi and Sniper look nice too.
>Throw some paint on those Rail Spikes
If anything i'd like to paint the Bone Dome. The dull green looks kinda off with how colorful the Pyro is. Shame the team colored paints like Air of Debonair and Operator's Overalls cost a ton.
>Minus point for Botkillers because they're ugly
They're mostly mementos from some MvM tours i did a while back with some friends. Started using them recently and they've grown on me. I also put some Killstreak Kits on them so i've kind of forced myself to use them.
GO TO HEAVEN

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Come.
We fuck like men.

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what is a good conscientious objector picture to mock the coronoa virus and the chinks?

Rouge the bat drinking corona beer with china burning behind her

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Thanks. The TFC Heavy is pretty obvious but people notice the Scout less often. Engie looks better in-game, that sweatshirt has some terrible clipping in loadout's renderer. I like the paintable shirt better compared to the Thermal Whatever everyone normally uses. Airborne Attire on Sniper is a must because it's the only fucking cosmetic that gives him a second glove to match the viewmodels.
>Shame the team colored paints like Air of Debonair and Operator's Overalls cost a ton.
You could look for pre-painted stuff, but for items that aren't super popular you might be waiting a while. I guess it's costly to have team colors instead of iridescent green.
>They're mostly mementos from some MvM tours i did a while back with some friends.
That's fine, then.

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I hope the rest of the classes get some TFC styled cosmetics added into the game. I love how the comics translated the TFC mercs into TF2s artstyle.

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There's probably some that have been languishing in the workshop for years and won't be added, while the Medic has two different TFC sets because reasons.

What about vac medic?

> didn't add more TFC weapons
fook valve, i want the fucking tranq gun for spy already, and an all class crowbar weapon.

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How do I fix lagging issues with TF2?

>tfw no Railgun secondary for Engi

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Short Circuit?

You don't. The game runs like absolute shit now.

works on my machine

>tfw this is the closest we'll get to the TFC Spanner

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Nah, railgun was slower and dealt more damage. If they ever modernized it, i'd imagine it being a sort of revolver style weapon for the Engineer, trading the Pistols high RoF for a slower firing and more damaging shot. It'd probably need some additional utility, so maybe have it remove sappers/restock buildings from a distance by shooting them?

>that loadout
i hope you pulled that off google images

TFC had some nice looking weapons.
Classic buff when.

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I wish there was a Flamethrower skin with a neat checkerboard at the muzzle like some of the TFC launchers, but apparently flamers only get pink hearts and purple gumdrops.

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Works fine for me. It ran like shit on my old laptop, but since I got a crisp desktop I'm living like a king, or at least a bishop.

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If you're a decent enough Scout then Snipers are hardly an issue

Haven't played in 2 years but you are spot on.
Sniper needs a nerf that makes any target headshot'ed within 0-15 meters a MINI-Crit.

I and many get over Sniper's disadvantage of close-quarters combat by insta-killing headshots to 5/9 classes with decent aim.

It's bullshit that a ranged class can defend itself this good.

So would a reloadable flamethrower work? I'm surprised the Phlog doesn't have this mechanic.

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Maybe? The first thing that comes to mind is something similar to the flamethrower from Dead Space, where you can eject and launch the gas canister like a bomb to set a whole area on fire. Say each canister has 50 ammo given the 200 ammo count limit, and each time you use up 50, or launch a canister, you reload.

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>toy tester will never be finished

REMINDER: Creators.tf is hosting community servers with unofficial game updates created entirely by the community. They include new cosmetics, maps, contracts, and events exclusive to their servers and they are free for all to enjoy.

Heres a link to the main site: creators.tf/
And heres a link to their server list: creators.tf/servers

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Call me back when they add custom weapons. I know another server already did this, but last time I checked it was a ghost town.

>medic chooses to uber me
>miss all pipes and stickies
>he starts yelling
>crit someone with the bottle
>he accepts it and moves on

But how did you survive?

If I uber someone it's because I either have confidence in you or because I was about to die and had to pop it.

it's still fun to piss off the fags by final capping as pyro in hightower m2ing everything they throw at me

I think they're working on that. I remember Tyler mentioning it in his latest video on the subject.

This.

pootis

based

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