You WILL buy it

It has an 180Mhz Prozessor and 16MB of RAM.
You would need a Palm to emulate that.

>crank doesn't charge the battery
literally how retarded were they

Literally what the fuck is the crank for if you can't charge the battery with it
You can't seriously tell me somebody would play fishing games on a black and white screen

wtf is this gay shit

No it doesn't have a backlight.
Kindle like. 150USD. Go preorder now.

Yes I will, I look forward to trying it out at PRGE

After Motion Controls and then VR the Crank is the next logical evolution.

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What’s that game about?

>CPU STMicroelectronics STM32 F746 180 MHz
>Memory 16 MB
>Storage 2 GB flash storage
>Display 2.7-inch, 400 × 240 (173 ppi) Sharp Memory LCD
>Wi-Fi (b/g/n) @ 2.4 GHz
>Bluetooth 4.2
>1-bit screen
>No backlight
>12 games total

All ot needs is Palm OS and I really will feel like in 2003

why not evolve further two cranks

What would the other crank be for? Charging? That's just silly. Please don't make a mockery of this revolitionary product.

Man imagine how fucking tiresome it would be to charge that shit while playing all the times
>user what's wrong with your arm?!
>OH GOD I'M GONNA CRANK

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kek

>you could buy this incredibly overpriced handheld with technology from 1996, or you could pay $50 more and buy a switch lite or the older ps4 model
astonishing, will this flop harder than the ouya?

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They will go for the hipster and "collector" audience and at $150 probably pull a profit even at 4 digit sales numbers.

This is the only time I'm ever gonna laugh at coomer

make me soiboi.

Remarkable.
And for just 10 more you could get an Xbone that might not have 12 games but it lets you stream Netflix and Amazon at 4K at least

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>oh neat, a low power hand-cranked gameboy so I can be a vidya dork while camping or during a power outage
>oh.
>oh, no.

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you might as well get a solar charged battery

Not much sun out to charge batteries in a blizzard, user.
Wouldn't want to leave anything out in the wind to get blown three blocs down anyway.

>cranks become knobs to save space on hardware
>literally an etch-a-sketch now

you might as well get a gun and use it at that point

Even the 2DS which is 100€ cheaper would be a better pick.

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>tfw going to buy one so as to make my own games & sell to soiboys & they'll eat it up

the crank doesn't power it tho

It's not open source and you need access to the crank engine to be able to create games for it

i'm 29 years old and what is this

based

Actually it will have more than 12, 1 month Game Pass is included, which is 8600 times more time than you'll ever spend on that toy.

Is this that Switch lite thing?

You been living under a rock boomer? This is the PlayDate© which Edge® Magazine recognized as the most revolutionary console in the last 2 decades and handheld since the damn of man.

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devkit will be open source but mac based but I have a hackintosh partition so its fine. they're gonna eventually make an app store like thing for it. know a guy who knows a guy who works on it.

thanks young'n

>they're gonna eventually make an app store like thing for it.
I am sure it will run great on it's 16MB of RAM.

I'm white.
I didn't buy a ps4, I didn't buy a switch, why would I want this useless thing?

I think the "store" is going to be web/electron based
look it's fucking stupid and you shouldnt buy one i'm just saying, with the ever growing market of hipster douchebag unity ""gamedevs"" and the indie klout of the faggot "big indie names" that are going to be on there, it's going to make me money lol

to crank it

Lel thought the same thing.

It doesn't even fo that though.

because you're a woke self-styled "indie gamedev" and you want to fit in with the other "indie gamedevs & hangers-on" clique

I doubt you would even get your 150usd back

>The crank doesn't even charge it

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>$149
Is this real? What justifies this price?

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>CPU STMicroelectronics STM32 F746 180 MHz
>Memory 16 MB
>Storage 2 GB flash storage
>Display 2.7-inch, 400 × 240 (173 ppi) Sharp Memory LCD
>1-bit screen
>No backlight
>12 games total

I feel like people are gonna be tricked into buying one thinking its a gameboy clone.

>Is that the GameBoy Color Classic Mini? I used to have one as a kid better get it

The CPU isn't even 10 USD if you buy individually, let alone bulk. The most expensive thing is the 2 GB flash storage which is like 20 dollars top. The rest of the component cost on this package added together and this thing doesn't even hit $50. So they're making 100 USD per console for what? The 12 games?

The CPU costs 11 euros if I were to buy it. Like single one, not in bulk just single CPU. The screen is 30 euros. How? I could probably build it for less myself. what are they thinking?

It's "chic"

The crank is worth at least 85USD.

2gigs for 20? Noooo. Switch got 32 and we all know how cheap that toy is, flash storage probably costs nothing.

Did they hire Todd to market this?

just so you guys understand a bit better:
from what i can tell, the idea is that you buy this thing because every month or whatever a new game is going to be released for free on it, and then maybe down the line you'll be able to buy additional games or something. the idea is kind of like the EGS/PS+/etc. thing where it's like, oh hey, time to check in this month and see what the new le quirky indie thing I get for free is.

the price is bad but not THAT bad, it's overpriced but the price is irrelevant, it's about whether you want to pay money for a physical thing that lets you play a bunch of lo-fi quirky indie bullshit. it's the perfect modern consumerist product, because the whole point of the thing is to compel you to check it out at least once a month, sort of forcing you, the purchaser, to impose this product's schedule upon your life. either you're into that sort of thing (and you probably pay money for irl "loot box" subscription services too) or not.

Getting a 2GB chip must be more expensive than getting an 8 or 16GB one at thise point.

Wait until it becomes fully emulated.

So... What does the crank actually do? Is it effectively just a retarded analog stick?

I remember shitting on it for a week when it was revealed but I actually forgot the name of this thing completely. I think it was some hipster faggy name. It's probably in this thread somewhere but it's probably for the best that one less person knows the name of this piece of junk.

>See that crank? You can spin it.

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yeah thats it.

Si marica

Now that I think about it you're probably right. It'd be hilarious if they're paying more money just to fuck over suckers.

Watch me crank it, watch me roll

>It just spins

Ironic shilling is still shilling

So basically it's overpriced hardware with 12 quirky games, and you might or might not get new ones with it.
They would be better of making it open hardware project and selling kits for self assembly.

I dont see the point.
Why cant someone make a non meme competitor to the current console market?

Thats like saying phone sex is just sex

Honestly when I first saw this I was like you guys and thought it looked lame. But then I dug a little deeper and realised the PlayDate is alive with possibilities, with a range of games from short, traditional to long, experimental games.
The future really is in your hands!

Because they need a gimmick that aren't covered by the others.

Because you can't compete with the "big three"

You for got to add
>Crank it, baby!

All these posts and I still have no fucking clue what this is. Can you fill me in?

I could see this selling if it was like $10-20 for the novelty. But the price is absolute insanity, I can't even see the biggest Californian hipsters buy this shit. This is going to flop big.

Ironic phone sex is still phone sex.

the point is that the hardware isn't open and that it hooks up to a proprietary closed service that gives only purchasers of this niche product exclusive le quirky indie games. your idea wouldn't be as profitable

Because ultimately the only thing left that dedicated gaming hardware can do is portability, and basically nobody could negotiate for the parts. There just isn't really any reason for dedicated gaming hardware at this point.

The price is there to make it more valuable than it is

>Playdate is an upcoming handheld video game console developed by Panic. It was first introduced on May 22, 2019 on the cover of Edge magazine.[1]

>The device features a black-and-white 1-bit e-paper screen, directional pad, two game buttons, and a mechanical crank on the side.[2] It features a 180Mhz CPU and 16MB or RAM.

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So it's literally just a shittier GameBoy but with an added quirky analog input attachment?
Please don't tell me this shit had a successful Kickstarter or something.

Not if you dick isn't out

>creates a handheld worst than soulja boy's shitty handheld

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You're missing the point either way

Lets go even further beyond- by adding a chain!

It would be twice as fun though. And I think it would be more profitable in long term.

Exactly phone sex isn't sex but masturbation but not with your dick in

Mousewheel

You are still missing the point

Now this guy get's it.

more specifically the (relatively) high price of the product there to make you more (emotionally) invested in the product so you're more inclined to check in every month and see what the new free le quirky indie game(s) are etc., because you're part of this exclusive club of people who paid $150 to get in, not just anyone can see these le quirky indie games

see above

It seems like a neat little novelty toy. But that's it. A toy. I don't see how this is the next step in handheld gaming.

You can hit the mark with your dick in

Ironic shilling is still shilling

Did you muss the crank?

Not with your dick still in your pants it isn't

well that is if people value your exclusive club.
the first game has to be some mind bending shit for people to give a shit about the upcoming games.

>Muh dick

This one's got two

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>its not even japanese

they're fucked.

Exactly. They should have released that shit alongside the Edge article not 1 year later when everybody forgot like her

lol no it doesn't, keita takahashi can shit out anything and it's a Keita Takahashi game so it's automatically Good. same goes with all the other indie personality cults that will eventually flock to the service. you're missing the point, the point is to make the exclusive club. it's like if you see a country club being built down the street and say well that's lame, a public golf course/pool/etc. would be better. well... yeah it would be altruistically better, but that's not the point of this commercial endeavor lol

Okay but does it play doom?

Yeah you're right. Sad thing as I non-ironically like the design, but the price is way too high.

Based and crankpilled

Crank charging is practically useless

same, i wouldn't be surprised if someone was working on an (incompatible) DIY "open-source clone" of the "console with crank" idea. assuming they didnt patent it, if they did i'll be very disappointed (but not surprised)

You're useless

>180 MHz CPU
>16 MB RAM
>2 GB flash storage
>1-bit screen e-creen
>No backlight
>15 minute battery life

Did they try to make it shit to interest hipsters or something?

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what are the odds that a Zoe Quinn game (actually programmed by someone else ofc) was lined up to be one of the first few months' "big indie name" releases? wonder if it that deal's still on lol

It's more powerful than DS, so it can have good games. Especially since it has only 1bit screen to power.

will this be the only console to ever release without a -tan

Physicspill me about the crank charging. It looks like some this that should barely consume any power but the devs say the crank couldn't charge it anyway because of science.

>only 1bit screen
That sound more like a bad thing instead of a good one.

It's neither. It requires less processing power. And limiting yourself to 1 bit pallet might be fun challenge for developer.

There is no Nuon-tan

Don't be naive

>limiting yourself to 1 bit pallet might be fun challenge for developer
not fun to play

Is there a Mega Duck tan?

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THERE'S A CHAIN THAT'S NEVER BROKEN

It doesn't affect how fun it'll be to play if the games are designed around it well

I am not. If it had been reasonably priced the 1bit screen would be fun thing. I don't defend the device, but in modern times having high DPI/ high color screens to power is what makes portables batteries shit themselves. Going 1bit is much better than going shitty color LCD route.

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It produces almost no power

Now fuck off undeage

ah yes thats why there are so many games that are black/white

Maybe if you're a manlet who can't crank

how did they get away with this

You kidding? A hacked 3ds/2ds is literally one of the best vidya consoles ever.
The other one is a hacked vita. The massive amount of games available with both is staggering. I'll be spending the rest of my life with these fuckers.

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eat your bugs and turn the crank bigot

hacking a 3DS doesn't make the library any less shitty

A system with sóy levels that surpass the switch

Limbo is good example on only black and white game.

You can make it work, and it will work better than having crappy TN panel with bad color reproduction. The 1bit screen is really the wisest choice in this handheld.

>love Takahashi and Katamari
>everything he's done within the past decade just doesn't interest me in the slightest
Man I understand that he really doesn't like Namco + really doesn't like working on sequels but I wish he came back and just made more Katamaris

>crank tool assisted speedruns

I genuinely like the idea behind this, especially the black and white screen.
IF the games are good this might be great

There isn't a single game this gen that is as good as KI:U fuck off.
Also
>GB-GBA
>DS
>SNES
>GEN
>Games like tales of the abyss, DQ8 and Xenoblade

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I've measured the power consumed by an original gameboy pocket, it tops out at 0.2 watts

I also happen to have a shitty hand-crank USB generator that is pretty much useless realistically, but still it is capable of outputting 5 watts if you crank that bastard like a man

simple math says a perfectly efficient charging circuit would make 25 seconds of play time for every 1 second of charging, so even with a shitty circuit you could get 5 minutes of play time for just 20 seconds of cranking

you didn't play noby noby boy?

explain yourself,zoomer.

Noby Noby Boy was the last thing he made that I really had a good time with

nah it's shit, if you want something kitschy just get an Arduboy or a Gamebuino

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Fine I'll come up with something.

>all of these people who don't understand how bad crank charging is
you cannot have a video game platform charged by physical means

Jesus Christ it's weaker than the fucking Switch. This is almost original DS tier.

What do you use for gba games? Everything I used has awful displays and visual glitches

I think its obvious we must... rebrand coomer

Ahhh,
DS Line the best idea that Nintendo ever had.
Dual screen gimmick which actually is useful. The small portable form factor. Pretty decent ergonomics for portable(except OG 3DS i DSlite).

God I wish they just released new DS line instead of switch. with 480p screen, and without stupid cameras and 3d shit. God that would be great console.

So an arduino uno wearing a texudo

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No lol. There are so little good games that actually use black/white into its gameplay/atmosphere especially with a low spec hardware.

>$150
>one game after purchase

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I'll wait for the souljaboy bootleg

>you cannot have a video game platform charged by physical means
>Implying power plants aren't just super complicated physical means generation
Nuclear power is literally steam power btw.

Sure, because it's easier to make colorful game.
Why would dev not use resources that they have? Yet when presented with limitations you can make use of it. Limiting yourself actually help with creativity.

The only case devs were forced to use b/w I can think of is the original gameboy and I cant think of a single game on its library that wouldnt be instantly better with colors.

No U.

Inject them

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man I wish they fake advertised this more
I miss the ouya shitstorm

You forgot to mention the most important part: the crank

Some of you may not be aware that Panic, the studio behind PlayDate now has 2 strikes outside of hipster mac-specific faggotry. They have published the following games

Firewatch - le pretentious walking simulator, but its far from the worst walking sim game out there and at least it came to Steam.

Untitled Goose Game - Could have been enjoyable perhaps, but they made the faustian bargain with fucking Epic so its exclusive for the time being. To hell with that.

Then again, it seems this company is all about expensive, proprietary things for the sake of it so...

teenage engineering
check out the prices on all of their shit. it's fucking ridiculous that people somehow pay for this shit.

Look at this fucking shill, so afraid his dying favorite storefront can't keep up with equally shitty competition from shit-tier chinese companies.

What do you even have to gain, aside from those few shekels in your bank account, by defending your glorified shovelware store?

>Limbo is good example on only black and white game.
Are you actually retarded?

Elaborate?

No I WON’T!

Limbo used various shades of grey to give form and depth to scenes.

No I won’t

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What you are calling "black and white" also has hundred shades of gray
Which cannot be replicated on a 1bit system which literally has 2 colors

You are right. Still I believe it's not bad idea to have 1bit screen.

youtube.com/watch?v=Ger3XknBZaU
So the first game uses ONLY crank for input that would be better of from D-pad? Imaging cranking it for more than 2 minuts.

If the resolution were high enough to allow some dithering, sure. Even the Gameboy had a 2-bit screen.

Yeah, this is Ouya 2.0.

Yeah, it has twice the PPI of GB though. The screen is the only choice I would defend in this thing though. As I really believe it is good idea.
Otherwise the more I look into this the more it looks like trash.

Now why the fuck would I do that?

Sorry but my little chink Gameboy is more fun to play.

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oh my fucking god bros they published a successful game and did an ebic exclusive bros wtf

if THOSE are the reasons you're boycotting this piece of junk, I just gotta ask: lol?

Inject them

If the screen was backlit, sure. Not being backlit AND also not being crank-powered as a battery-fallback option ruins the potential novelty for me, ESPECIALLY at its asking price.

That's not a half-bad looking d-pad. What's the battery life of the device?

5 hours.

Still tempting. If my PSP ever dies permanently on me I may get that as a rep.

>westcucks

There is, but the normalfags don't care of course

Whats the framerate on the ps1 emu?

what the fuck is this shit lmao soulja handheld or what

Eh I wouldn't get later since there's this one coming out which is more powerful but sadly not as asthetic

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That's one ass d-pad position unfortunately, for what I'd mostly be playing.

60 for 2d. Little to nothing for 3d.

most posters are third-worlders anyway... fuck off

Nope

consoletan.booru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=8036

consoletan.booru.org/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=6746

Sorry to be that fag, I'm in too deep

What's better, crank controls or tank controls?

I've seen further into the future. What must be added is a fingerbox hole

based
this will be the handheld of 2020

>Connectivities: Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, USB-C, Phone connector
What on earth is the bluetooth for? Are they gunna sell cranks on their own joycon style so i can play this in true comfort: Across the room and on my couch

I completely forgot about this.

I'm a bit surprised the Dingoo A320 still lives on in the software of these. Still the best looking one for me

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man. console tan designs are so shit.

stadia is the only good one

no

if only my midi controller didn't have knobs you would have gotten me for sure

another scam

The most embarrassing thing about this product is how obviously paid off the media outlets were that reported it

>IT'S GONNA CHANGE THE HANDHELD MARKET
>IT'S AMAZING AND TOTALLY NOT A GIMMICK

So 2 people will buy your game!

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A gimmicky handheld made by hipster indie developers designed by a guy that designs ikea furniture made for man children that work at Rackspace

my 22-year old hp48 is a better game platform

Mousewheel you dumb nigger.

you know that everyone promoting this thing is trolling
if you are getting mad you aren't winning

DUDE LEGENDARY DEVELOPER BENNETT FODDY IS MAKING A GAME FOR IT

I look forward to buying it at a garage sale for a fraction what was paid for it in a year.

doubt anyone dumb enough to buy this has a garage
they'll just sell it on ebay or whatever

kek

>Google the price
>They're asking $150 for this game and watch shit
Jesus, the memes about soulja boy's console being better were true.

but did soulja boy's console give people a big grin :O

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holy shit
a funny wojak edit
it has finally happened

where

pretty good

It's the very definition of some social bubble trust fund kid bullshit that nobody actually wants, but you're supposed to buy it because the people that made it are just so special and unique and don't understand that it's their job to provide a product that people actually want to pay for, rather than the consumer's job to mindlessly support their self-entitled garbage.

the crank is on the wrong side

>two cranks
>gay playdate only has one
Holy shit hipster devs really are retarded!

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Yeah, I remember playing my original Game Boy and thinking, "This thing displays way too many colors! There must be a better solution!"

Why, you DO vape right?

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If you lose the game, it replaces your vape oil with pure water and you die of pneumonia.

oh my god you mean the creator of QWOP, Getting Over It, Ape Out, and literally nothing else anybody has ever heard of? I can't wait to see how annoying and frustrating his game is!

no addictions for me thanks

was qwop the original meme game

"We did it reddit!"
go away

OH, FUCK, WHAT ARE THEY DOING??

WHAT IT IF IT'S ACTUALLY A HIT??

I'LL KEK AND LEL SO FUCKING HARD

BECAUSE THIS MEANS RETARDS WILL BE BUYING NOTHING FOR LIKE 150+ TAX

WHAT IS THE FISHING REEL FOR??

LEL!!

KEK!

LELKEK!

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Ouya 2.0

>12 games
>changed each week over wifi
>you never know what you're going to get

think of it as your own impersonal digital shitcrate delivered directly to you

The original concept of this thing was pretty cool, IIRC they wanted to make a console that you would fuck around with each week to unlock a new function. The final week was supposed to have you remove the grayscale screen and reveal behind it a full-color one that would let you go back and play all the games in color. Shame we ended up with this shit instead.

>WHAT IT IF IT'S ACTUALLY A HIT??

It won't be, but I can already see hipsters pulling these out in public cause they're all so different!!!

I don't even play phones on my phone anymore, so I surely don't feel the need to own this shit;

you mean I get 12 shitty games every week that I cant control?
what a deal

>I don't even play phones on my phone anymore, so I surely don't feel the need to own this shit
i don't think this even matters because a lot of people are just in love with their phones. this shitty device isn't going to take time away from their phone-viewing. i agree

you get one each week
there's no way we could expect you to enjoy twelve of our amazing 1-bit experiences per week

This is ableist, where is the left handed version?

I still think I would be really cool if it was waaaaaayyy cheaper. I would buy it for twenty bucks. This price is absurd.

>I don't even play phones on my phone anymore
I know what you meant, but I'm still laughing like a fucking retard

Soulja Boy game when?

This is fucked, Yea Forums.
To hell with it. I'll make my own console, I give a fuck.

I can make my own emulation console from a 5$ raspberry pi and it would still be miles better than this piece of shit

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I'm convinced that this actually isn't going to come out, and we'll question whether it even existed a few years later.