Keanu Reeves constantly walks into CDPR office and asks to play Cyberpunk 2077

>when someone leaves the computer he sits on his place, launches CP2077 demo and says "this game is about me", he once deleted some important files in that way
Based

>source is right there in the OP
>DURRRRR MADE UP STORY!!!!!

That says less about 2077 and more about Keanu. Wish he'd stop signing these absolute dogshit deals.

Yep.

I wish i was able to play Cyberpunk 2077 right now.
>208 days to go
Fuck meeeee...

>sources are 100% infallible always

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kek. "asz dziennik" is honestly better than actual news in poland.
it's a satirical website.

I saw Keanu Reeves at a grocery store in D.C. yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, "Oh, like you're doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was "Huh?" but he kept cutting me off and going "huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When l came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like ”Sir, you need to pay forthose first." At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventuallyturned back around and brought them to the counter When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually "to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly. After paying for the Milky Ways he proceeded to leave the store and throw all of them in the garbage. Haven't seen him since

Keep talking shit about based Keanu and your gonna have a bad time kid.

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I also met Keanu Reeves just last week: I was in California and I happened to run into him at a local diner. He was sitting alone and it looked like he'd only just started eating, so I decided to just go up and say hi (if his friends were there I would have just let him be). Anyway, I walk up and say hello and tell him I know him from The Matrix. Nothing. No reaction. Doesn't say a word. He just sits there, staring right through me. Staring intensely, but with no emotion whatsoever.

I begin to feel awkward, so I say "sorry to disturb you" and start to walk away but before I even get a chance to turn he just gets up suddenly and starts walking toward me, still making full eye contact. At first I thought he was going to try and barge into me or something, but at the last minute (like an inch away from me) he turns and heads toward the trash can. Then he starts dumping everything on his plate into it. One by one. Potatoes, carrots, everything. He picks up each bit of food up, holds it high above the can and drops it. Some of it (the steak) didn't even make it into the trash because he wasn't looking at what he was doing.

Finally his plate is empty and this is the part that really fucking weirded me out. He looks around to check no one (but me) is looking, then slides the plate under his jacket and walks out.

I was just astounded, it was pretty surreal.

I was involved in the production of the film 'Point Break' In 1991. During the filming, Keanu Reeves (whose role involved playing rookie FBI agent 'Johnny Utah') was surfing with co-stars when a small child was dragged under the waves and began to struggle to stay above surface.
As his co-stars rushed to help, Reeves held out an arm in front of them, stopping them and was reported saying by Lori Petty (who played the character Tyler Endicott in the film) "The waves have claimed her, let her fight for her own life". The crew, dumbfounded, proceeded to watch her struggle until her body disappeared beneath the waves, lifeless.
We later spotted him outside the child's house, making drowning gestures and thanking the family for their child's sacrifice to the great ocean.

Hey user
Hey
Hey
Hey user
Its called marketing, you fucking retard.

OH MY GOD HOLLYWOOD STAR OH MY GOD ITS A CELEBRITY OHHHHHH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I LOVE HOLLYWOOD WOW OH MY GOD

I saw K.R. Once. In real life. Walking around. For some reason there's a samurai sword in the memory.

>launches CP2077 demo and says "this game is about me"
This part gets me

based

fucking hollyweird

dilate

This was funny during E3, it's stale now, let it go, fucking boomers acting like real boomers.

the iron knee

This site is the Polish version of The Onion, you all got got

Keanu Reeves raped my dog

BASED. Fuck wagie numales working hard on vidya, life's about fun losers stop being holed up in your office coding lmao.

>Cyberpun 2077,
>start playing,
>open door
>shudenly a netrunner injects me a cable
>that nigga's hacking me
>Screen vision goes down
>Reboot my system
>Johny Babayaga Silverhand in front of me
>So you were one of those raiders who got caught in the ambush
>Techno remix of skyrim plays
fucking toddwards why did u do dis

>In 1991 during the filming for 'Point Break' Keanu Reeves (whose role involved playing rookie FBI agent 'Johnny Utah') was surfing with co-stars when a small child was dragged under the waves and began to struggle to stay above surface.
>As his co-stars rushed to help, Reeves held out an arm infront of them, stopping them and was reported saying by Lori Petty (who played the character Tyler Endicott in the film) "The waves have claimed her, let her fight for her own life".
>The crew, dumbfounded, proceeded to watch her struggle until her body disappeared beneath the waves, lifeless. He was later spotted outside the child's house, making drowning gestures and thanking the family for their child's sacrifice to the great ocean.

this is the polish Onion you cum guzzling morons

It's the Polish equivalent of the Onion you fucking tard.

Do you guys even read the thread or are you guys actually mentally handicapped?