Where were you when Necrons fucked the warp in to submission?

Where were you when Necrons fucked the warp in to submission?

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BEFORE THE THREAD GOES 500 REPLIES, SOMEONE EDUCATE ME ON THE RECENT (LAST YEAR OR TWO) HAPPENINGS IN 40K

>Marines got bigger
>Orks got Orkier
>Chaos Lads became less scary
>Necrons seem sleepy again but not before fucking chaos in its collective warp hole
>Eldar all got gay together in to one Eldar sex pile
>Tau still thought of as Communism done right
>Tyranid still spring up like a bad horror cliche

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Did the Orks beat the nids(?) in that one skirmish area?
Did the Eldar magick their new godthing into existence?

>tyrannids
>horror cliche

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Eye of the Storm expanded and divided the galaxy in two, a primarch (Girlyman) woke up, leads one half, Dante (Blood Angels chapter master) leads the other, new breed of super space marines who are close to immune to chaos, daemon princes invading real space, including fallen primarchs, necrons working with imperium to stem the new eye of the storm, super smart guy from mars builds AI and new space marines and basically pisses everyone off, Eldar helped wake up girlyman and are helping humans, etc

Cadia kaput
Pillars gay
Trazyn JUST AS PLANNED
XBOXHUGE Warpish anal fissure rapes the galaxy a new one(literally in half)
Eldar waifus
Papa Smurf revived by eldar waifus
Mechanicum Primarch only extra heretical
made papa smurf armor and super space marines ALL ALONG
pillars are still gay
one half of the galaxy is still lit up by the golden pouf chain, cosmic rape to the tollerable minimum
other half of the galaxy cut off from the manly manperor's charm, cosmic rape beyond grimdark levels thought possible
Papa Smurf MUH CRUSADE galaxy-wide while ultramar gets ebola from papa nurgle's charm
Bloodline Angels raped from satan's bugs, their homeworlds falling
aforementioned Warpish anal fissure sweeps over their system wiping Leviathan(tyranid skulls for the skull throne!) before grimdarking ground troops for good meassure
XBOXHUGE CRUSADE a massive success, bloodline angels "saved" and imperium in a somewhat solid state
ultrasmurfs gearing for revenge rape while PLAGUE SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE are being raped in the immaterium

fin

*golden pouf chair
i meant golden pouf chair
fucks sake kms

There hasn't been anything other than the Ynnari being on their little adventure and helping Rowboat. And the Octarius War is still going. Ghazghkull stopped by and dicked around and gathered more strength for his Great Waaagh!