SHIT STRANDING

I'm rather tall and it's all in my legs too so I often miss. Also it gives me a chance to tidy my ass up, cos you sweat throughout the day, so sometimes there's weird swampy bits around your crack. Peeing sitting down is the redpilled option.

enjoy your hemorrhoids, brainlet retard

When you grow up and have your own toilet to clean you will understand.

I'm sorry ladies my question was directed at men

>he doesn't have a squat toilet in his home
>he doesn't shit the way his body is intended to shit

This man gets it. When at home it's piss sitting, when anywhere else it's piss standing.

you can shitpost at the same time

SHIT STANDING

Real talk.
Why don't showers have toilets built in them?

Because they already have a drain?

Surely this is just a prude way to.. give the player the option to piss or shit?

Thanks, Kojima.

Redundant

STANDING
AT THE EDGE OF THE TOILET
TAKING A REALLY BIG SHIT

They're weapons. So is your blood. If you watched any coverage you'd have heard Kojima say this himself.

You're supposed to piss in the water.

seat toilets are fucking retarded, unhygenic and unhealthy
use a squat toilet

you're not supposed to piss in the shower

Who the fuck told you that lie? Unless it's to assert dominance over the cubicle next to you then it's not required.

Do you spread your legs to the point of having both of them on either side of the bowl with your dick aiming right down towards the water or is your piss stream so physics defying that you will have a constant stream at all times to perfectly hit the water.

How the fuck are you pissing that it's not only making a big enough mess to get upset about, but it takes longer at home than just whipping it out?
Are you doing some kind of fucked up tibetan prayer whizzer? Prefacing your piss by offering up your limpy lemonade to the god of the third circle?

I can do both, I just prefer sitting.

enjoy your piss mist

phimosis

ITT: Women.

Kojima is fucking based. The sheer intellect and charisma he oozes dwarfs your entire existence. The Alpha of Awe. The Brute of Brawn. The Cultivator of Class. The Duke of Domination. The Emperor of Eloquence. The Fiercest of Fighters. The Greatest of Glory. The Height of Heroism. The Imperator of Intellectualism. The Jarl of Justice. The King of Knights. The Lord of Loquaciousness. The Master of Mortality. The Naysayer of Noobs. The Overlord of Obituaries. The Prince of Passion. The Que-hagen of Quixote. The Ruler of Ruination. The Sultan of Smite. The Taskmaster of Trembles. The Undertaker of Ubiquity. The Vaeyen of Vociferousness. The Warranter of Weaklings. The Xenophobe of Xenogeny. The Yardmaster of Yesteryear. The Zhar of Zoroastrianism.

THE INDOMITUS REX
THE ALPHA OF ALPHAS
THE KING OF KINGS
THE LORD OF LORDS
THE JUSTICIAR OF JUSTICE
THE TALLEST OF THE TALL

CHADJIMA THE BASED
APEXPREDATORjima the MASCULINE
GRIPjima the CRUSHING
INSURMOUNTABLEjima the UNSURPASSABLE
INDOMITABLEjima the UNYIELDING
AESTHETICjima the BEAUTIFUL
SWOLEjima the RIPPED
TANKjima the RESOLUTE
PHYSICALLYIMPOSINGjima the INTIMIDATING
GLAREjima the DOMINEERING
JUGGERNAUGHTjima the UNSTOPPABLE
DISCIPLINEDjima the ENLIGHTENED
ZENjima the SPIRITUAL
POTENTjima the VIRILE
ALMIGHTYjima the INVINCIBLE
VALORjima the DAUNTLESS
IMPERIOUSjima the DOMINATOR
INVICTUSjima the ETERNAL
MAELSTROMjima the TITANIC
QUAKEjima the SPACE-TIME SHAKING
COLOSSUSjima the LEVIATHAN
BEHEMOTHjima the MASTODONIC
MONSTERjima the TERRIFYING
LORDjima the KING
DEITYjima the CHRIST
CRIMSONjima the LEGEND
SUPERNOVAjima the TRANSIENT
JIMACHAD THE KO
KOCHAD THE JIMA
JIMACHAD THE CHAD
KINGCHAD THE LORDBASED
THE CHAD OF CHADS
ENCHAD CHADJIMA
CHADCHAD CHADCHAD CHA CHAD

ENTER KOJIMA

Attached: CHADJIMA.png (1242x1525, 1.74M)

if you ever took your piss-covered jeans off and took a piss into a toilet bare-legged you’d realize that it splashes everywhere, including all over your legs. The fact that you don’t know this means both your bathroom and jeans are covered in piss, congratulations

maybe that's the way user likes it

>he doesn't walk around his house naked
Faggot. You probably don't even own a house fucking pleb.

Your dick is a hose, just aim. You can even roughly gauge how far the initial blast will go from how urgently you need to piss.

did you even read my post retard? my post implies that i definitely have pissed naked and that’s why i know about the splashing

Post boomer memes

I pee standing up like nature intended for a man

So did mine and have never had issues with splash. Are you trying to hit the water or the sides?

ah yes, pissing naturally into one of those natural toilets that litter the countryside

how tall are you? i’ve tried literally everything and there is ALWAYS splash. even piling on tons of toilet paper into the bowl still creates splash. i think you’re lying to me or you’re a manlet, user

You mean a bush you fucking roastie?

>not SHIT STANDING
You had one fucking job, OP

>v discusses how to piss correctly

Attached: 1544385561383.png (512x512, 106K)

it's subjective because I know there are degenerates that use bottles and are completely fine with it

the implication being that a bush doesn’t splash like a bowl of water does

I prefer cleanliness. I'm too tall and dick too long, aiming is hard.

>not understanding the intellectual depth behind strands of shit
You FUCKING BRAINLET

183cm. Maybe my dick is small, maybe you're retarded. Who the fuck knows.

Why the fuck would I piss in a bowl of water I piss outside

just fucking squat down into the bowl with your dick
insert your dick into the fucking water and piss in it
then clean your dick off with toilet paper

you’re a goddamn liar thats what i think

Attached: EEA75831-8BA8-49B7-8714-72BA6AEC94EE.png (623x469, 283K)

At least I'm not covered in piss.

Attached: smug_anime_girl.gif (1280x720, 386K)

you are though, that’s why you’re lying

Attached: 6AE7A302-2F0E-4BDD-9FF7-5C0A6CA54D55.jpg (429x399, 28K)

Bad aim

>Xbox exclusives.jpg

t. guy whose bathroom and jeans are covered in piss

t. spy
youtu.be/M3OAx8EFtz8

>t. snub-nosed dicklet
Having a decent barrel size negates any risk of collateral

i'd only piss sitting to do others a favor. At my own home i piss standing. Freedom and convenience. It doesnt smell cause i clean regularily anyway

No, that's actually pretty much exactly the kind of thing I expect from a Kojima game.

t. female creature

to all you sit-pissers, do you enjoy your penis touching the rim of the toilet? especially if its a public toilet where other dicks have touched? Thats why i always use a piece of toilet paper to have a barrier to the toilet rim when having to piss while sitting

This shitshow is so ridiculous that the possibility of it being a ruse went back to being possible.

You should be able to differentiate between pissing at home, pissing at a public restroom and pissing outdoors altogether.

>imagine being actually proud of pissing sitting down
go hide in a ditch with what passes for dignity among your kind, you subhumans

Attached: 1499676733620.jpg (480x318, 16K)

t. fatty who is stuck for 15 minutes if he sits down on a bowl

As a man I only pee sitting down in solidarity with all womenvolk

>fatty is advocating for the physically more demanding option of standing, instead of sitting
You're not very bright, are you?

>standing for a short period is more physically demanding than lowering and raising when you are taking a piss
Good heavens.

Am I the only one crouching while pissing? I did a quick drawing

Attached: Capture d'écrans_20190913-122016_1.png (480x418, 25K)

t. brainlet

Aw jeez...

how heavy is your dick user, christ, get that treated

>only two options
lame

I wouldn't know, user, I haven't run the numbers on account of not being a lardass like you that needs to min-max his motions.

STANDING
ON THE EDGE
OF A TOILET
AS THE PROPHETS ONCE SAID

post the pic

you know the one

>logical conclusion
>run the numbers
Certainly isn't your heavy brainmass keeping you tightly suctioned on that thing once you managed to lower your fat ass.

>squat toilet
The jew took enough from me, the rat aint taking my fucking toilet seat.

I do that only when I need to shit at the same time
And most of the time it ends up with me splashing my anus with my own piss

Male ego is always bigger than his concern for health problems.

The mecha game controller guy?

So I can also blast a couple of farts that are too dangerous to let go while aiming my asshole anywhere but the toilet.

your extremely fragile masculinity is showing

user, being smarter isn't what makes people fat.

>not pissing while standing and then going mid-squat to wipe your ass of the swamp to really keep everything fresh

my mom lied to me

In addition to all of the reason the other anons have listed, peeing sitting down is useful if you are drunk or have a semi/full erection, as both can interfere with your aim.

Only bluepilled nu-male beta basedboy tranny cuckolds sit down to piss.

>this entire thread

Attached: images (1).jpg (739x415, 25K)

Was that what he meant when he said that the game will cover a highly controversial taboo topic?

>movie actor walks around and talks to other movie actors
Who the fuck is the target audience of this garbage?

Standing
On the edge
Of the crapper

+Much quieter
+More hygenic
+Don't get toilet water/piss everywhere

When you pee standing up into a toilet, or flush without closing the lid, that shit gets everywhere in the room. I hope you keep your toothbrush covered.

>he doesn't piss in the sink

Attached: 1520854199308.png (1228x1150, 191K)

- you sound like a total fag

>More people are talking about actually pissing IRL than the death stranding "gameplay"
Ouch

I think your problem is nobody ever potty trained you like a normal human being.

ye
welcome to any thread about an upcoming game retard

people who like movie actors

Don't care about gameplay until I play it myself so talking about how to take a good piss is better because everyone has experienced and will experience it again.

basically pissing is more gameplay

because that's how I've been doing it for more than 20 years, i can't piss in a urinal to save my life

Pissing
Off the edge
Of the crater

If only there was already a dedicated place where you can see actors walk around and talk to other actors

Attached: 1498990861915.gif (1080x1080, 504K)

yeah but this time it will be interactive

Attached: 1567386713635.gif (504x504, 765K)

THIS IS HOW IT IS: URINALS ARE MADE FOR PISSING, TOILETS ARE MADE FOR SITTING

Attached: DnfYRTyXgAAK05P.jpg (831x1052, 119K)

Old school dvd menus had this

HOLY SHIT GROUNDBREAKING REVELATION, no game has ever featured people talking to other people before.

>this time it will be interactive
>we are literally devolving in terms of media

Attached: play-that-goes-wrong.jpg (1500x1001, 207K)

>fragile
like pottery

>>we are literally devolving in terms of media
Considering how you are posting on this board you hadn't much going on to begin with.

kojima
he's just doing whatever the fuck he wants and fulfilling his hollywood fantasies

Wrong, I am posting from the Opera house.

I have a mental condition where I can’t pee when people are around, so I have to use the stall and pretend I’m taking a shit every time I use a public bathroom.

>uncomfortable having your wiener out in front of others
>mental condition
Human decency, the need to piss in silence and the feel of shame is a mental condition now folks.

Anyone who pees standing is an unhygienic moron

How is that more unhygienic than letting your dick touch the toilet bowl?

>drink a bunch of Monster's till my bladder is full to bursting
>sit down in hot spring
>let it all out
Just try and stop me.

>no shit squatting option
Cringe. It's the healthiest and most natural method.

Attached: St.jpg (960x720, 87K)

>t. Ozgul Ataturk

I would purposely take a dump on the tiles and leave.

Are you enjoying your fist 45 minutes on Yea Forums?

youtube.com/watch?v=6oun1pf1Ij4

Here

Attached: 1545520754891.jpg (508x386, 31K)

>Shit Stranding
>Not Shit Standing
You had one job, OP

This, but unironically.

Attached: 1568303045374.gif (300x100, 285K)

Shit on the valving, make the janies extra mad.

>real life product placement
based kojigod-sama

Is this what Kojihack is going with?

Attached: 1474647296550.jpg (1280x1810, 408K)

>1474647296550.jpg
what a fucking chad move

I'm just taking a wizz. Mind your own biz.

Sam is gonna develop prostate cancer and it's gonna affect how he pees later on the game. Screen cap this.

Morning wood.

For a quick summary of what was in the video
blog.us.playstation.com/2019/09/12/death-stranding-new-tgs-gameplay-video/

just say "walking" and save yourself the trouble of posting a hyperlink.

You've never touched a real vagina before have you?

>pissing in a fucking vagina

You forgot pretentious and boring, Ledditor.

>this thread
The memes are real. The west really is emasculated beyond redemption.

For some reason the plumbing involved hurts if I piss standing. On top of that, my stream hasn't been straight in over 15 years, so I just sit to avoid both pain and likely spills.

>He also sits down when wiping
2/3 people are retarded. Standing up while wiping is the only way to stay safe and clean.

germans do

My small growth at the tip makes the stream fucking unpredictable.

i enjoy to sit while pissing getting older so there is always pee dripping out if i stand

>6ft 3 and genuinely confused by this, until...
oh my god its look how hard I can piss man. How are you buddy?

too basic. This one is better:
newgrounds.com/portal/view/540127

Step up your game kojima. dont do this half-assed shit...

Attached: ohh.png (1904x977, 43K)

The first wipe should always be when sitting down (in a shitting context). You asscheeks are already spread, you get maximum coverage and save yourself at least three subsequent wipes if you were to do it standing all along. Also, standing up with a shitty asshole closes your asscheeks and runs the risk of smearing shit all over your asshair.

>Are you doing some kind of fucked up tibetan prayer whizzer? Prefacing your piss by offering up your limpy lemonade to the god of the third circle?
I lost it.

>wrong image

Attached: dsyp.png (987x466, 22K)

I'm in chastity

Droplets will be on the ceramic regardless if you pay attention or piss blackout drunk. Unless you clean every couple days/live alone and don't mind piss smell it's actually less time consuming to piss sitting down. I still don't do it because it's less satisfying.

You've got a shitty swirl, then. Regular toilets are supposed to flush the entirety of the ceramic away with them.

Huge missed joke opportunity. OP confirmed too low IQ for game.
Bingo.

What? I mean the outside, same will happen to your legs as user already stated above somewhere albeit less frequently, just look closely at the toilet next time you take a piss standing. Or don't clean it for a week and see it turn yellow.

I just went pissing and you are right.

You kinda need to if you want to hit it in the dark.

Someone women believe that urinating into a vagina is no big deal since they believe urine comes out of it.

Attached: Screenshot-2019-9-13 One in 5 women think you pee through your vagina - as docs warn wrong language (980x1017, 347K)

when you have a small dick you piss seated

It takes like a second to wipe the rim with toilet tissue.

>all the replies to this post
>no tim and eric

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>spreading the piss equally along the rim is cleaning

Go see a dick doctor dumbass

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Remember to wipe the cum from your mouth after your done

top fucking kek. criminally underrated.

Attached: straya.jpg (940x627, 79K)

>walking
>gameplay

To take a shit?

>pleb filter
>another one bites the dust

Attached: 1559759019081.png (474x587, 236K)

>walking as the main gameplay loop
>sleeping minigame
>killing ppl bad!
>naked norman reedus
If not liking these makes me a pleb, then so be it.

>Idle casual phone games are actually high-level pleb filters
Only Patricians play AFK Arena