Well, Yea Forums?

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>At home
Sit for peeing and shitting, comfy
>Outside
Do both while standing

>how it feels to chew too much 5gum

Use Toilet (Stranding)

Do you guys wipe sitting or standing?

wipe?

Who the fuck sits down to pee? Do you have a vagina?

sick gameplay bro

I've got a tiny dong to aiming on the first burst is impossible so I sit down so I don't have to clean up every time.

Must be a zoomer thing

imagine being so insecure you have to pee standing

> Alternate universe
> Instead of shitting every day/several times a week humans only shit around once a year
> You start feeling it coming roughly a week beforehand
> Starting the day before you're wracked with intense, agonizing pain
> Your shit looks like that webm but lasts for a several hours
> You have a roughly 2 week recovery period afterward where you are incredibly sore and lack energy, have no appetite

How would society be different compared to how we shit in our universe?

Neither, Squatting.

shit standing

I'd travel to the capital once a year personally. They'd have to have speciality response units to deal with people.

Depends on the gender:
Girl : Sit
Boy : Stand
Taking a dump then we are equal.

What if you wear diapers? Asking for a friend.

goty

>not doing both
step up senpai

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It would be a holiday like the birthday,.but it would be called The Shit Day
You would get a short vacation and laid off work for that time and people would discuss their shit day all the time, eagerly anticipating it
There would be a tradition of gifting toilet accessories like toilet paper and wishing each other "happy shit day"

>porcelain breaks
>ass gets ripped open
No thanks.

Why would I pee standing up?

>Who the fuck shits standing
It may be hard to believe, but there is no shortage of security cam videos of people shaking turds out of their pants legs or shorts after they shit themselves.

Every public toilet in my area has signs up with pictograms saying "do not squat on toilet" because so many foreigners live in my area now and they break the toilets by squatting on them. There's also signs up everywhere saying "wash your hands after using the toilet". I swear to god the local council is going to designate a street for these people soon.

>I hope you take a shit, faggot.

Feels good man

What the fuck is wrong with your dick? There's no gamble. I don't see why you'd "risk spraying urine everywhere" any more while standing than sitting

Piss Standing
:A Hideo Kojima game:

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>Sit for peeing
Dilate.

maybe toilets should be designed with human anatomy in mind

>Xbox exclusive choices.jpg

poop in a urinal

these are the real rp choices that matter, western games are back baby

protip, you're supposed to put the seat up

>user makes a thread on Yea Forums

In a utopian society sure. but even if the council put squatty potty boxes in the public shitters the boxes would get stolen by shop owners looking for a cheap step stool.

The real question is do you tuck your dick under the toilet seat and piss while you're shitting.

>western
is this how american cope

Canada ?

sounds comfy

One of the better threads on this board

Australia.

>he doesn't assume a sumo stance to shit
>he doesn't hold the stance for a solid hour just holding in the shit to test his will power
>he doesn't relax his sphincter and flex his abdominal muscles as hard as possible to protectile shit into his toilet
>his shit doesn't drop with the force of fatman dropping on Nagasaki creating a mighty back splash that cleanses his anus of all detritus in one smooth hands free motion
Pathetic. How do you live with yourself you goddamn primitive?

> Women who live together long enough sync shit cycles the same way they sync menstrual cycles

Imagine the horror

Because you don't need to sit down to pee. Sitting and standing has functional reasons, not subjective.

One of the best parts of camping is taking a piss outside with raging morning wood.

I don't even have to hold my dick, I just start pissing and wave it around a little by moving my hips. It's awesome.

Yearly pilgrimage to designated shitting street

>use sink

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>Who the fuck sits down to pee?
Who doesn't? what special kind of insecure faggot you gotta be not to realize that sitting in your own home is peak comfy? Obviously you stand outside

>whip out my dick, rest it on the sink
>flex my pecs while I piss
>scream 'aerial refueling complete' when I'm done

C-combo?

Use Toilet (Stranding)

once you have to start cleaning your own bathroom, sitting cuts down on the amount of cleaning you need to do.

Be honest with me Yea Forums.

Would you want a toilet built into your shower?

Its my house and I can sit where I damn well please.

i already piss and shit in the shower
kinda
i dont wipe after taking the morning shit, just go shower and wash it away

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Imagine sitting on the toilet taking a dump while a warm relaxing shower falls on you.

My house was owned by some old person before me so the shower/toilet is a massive open plan affair with mobility rails everywhere and a fixed shower head and handheld shower head. I can stand under the shower and piss into the toilet, or take a dump in the toilet and use a bogan bidet to get clean.

Taking a shit while washing my hair sounds like either a great idea or potential for disaster.

PISSING

ON THE EDGE

Underrated.

I shit at the same time for efficiency

Use Toilet (Squatting)

>Shitting on the back of the toilet bowl
Next level trolling right there. Cleaning the shit out of the toilet seat nooks would be hell

>"y-you're just insecure...."
You're the same fags who play as female characters to "stare at their ass" or to be "ironic". Just transition already, sissy.

I play as women because I can look at their feet not their ass

For some reason if I pee standing I hi everything except for the toilet. So I only do the chad spray in public toilets.

>footfag
>sits down to pee
>plays as females
You're trans in denial, you show all of the signs.

those are correct
Also my toilet at home has the worst possible splashback. I either have to switch pants or sit down.

Obsessed

DESPERATION

goddamnit

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Unironically this. It would probably be a feature of the world's major religions too. The whole "death and rebirth" deal. Comparable to how cycles of harvest work their way into religions.

Metal Gear Solid: Piss Walker

>getting pee droplets all over your clothes and hands to prove how manly you are

You would understand if you weren't a manlet

How do you cope with stirring the shit with your feet to make it go down the drain?
I would shit on the shower if it wasn't for that fact.

>LMAO'ING AT EVERYONE WHO DOESNT PISS IN THEIR BATHROOM SINK

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when I broke my leg 10 years ago I was forced to piss and shit while sitting. I cant get rid of the habbit, It's just comfy and I don't splash all over

CONSTIPATION

i use the goddamn shower head you dumb motherfucker
you know
the thing that has water coming out of it

Where did I say I sit to pee? That post was my first post in this thread dumb cunt

>all these fags sitting down to pee
I can't believe this, next thing you'll tell me is you wear panties because they're more comfortable too.

>You're the same fags who play as female characters
i never play as female because i like myself and i like selfinserting as myself in videogames. Keep strawmanning you insecure piece of shit. You seems so obsessed with mentally ill freaks you should be the one mutilating yourself.

>not hovering
I bet you're all weak faggots what have to sit on public toilets.
Just over, are your thighs THAT WEAK?

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go on...

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They're called manties.
manties.net/

fpbp
It's just so much comfier to sit down. I don't have to aim, splash-back on my clothes and give my cock&balls a nice relaxing scratch.

Can't do your shitter reading when you're standing up mate

It would probably be a holy day, a purge of all your sins, you would go to Church and purge yourself, it would be a celebration, like a birthday.

The Yearly Cleansing.

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>imagine your wife's belly when she is pregnant with a year worth of shit
haha, that would be crazy, and the smell too afterward

>bathroom
>not kitchen
you are small time

haha imagine if she made you watch it come out of her like chocolate soft serve ice cream for second after second after second

>panties
>comfortable
The only underwear that's comfortable is boxers

yeah, hips swaying to get that perfect cone... how horrifying...

haha lol imagine if she told you to lick her clean because she didn't have anything else to use

haha that's gross bro who could possibly want such thing haha

lol imagine if it was still your wife but your wife was a dragon instead of a human, how crazy and how big of a pile that would be, right

Depends on what grenades I need.

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