1. Make a short, unsatisfying and wholly unoriginal platformer that would've stood a 50% of getting blammed on Newgrounds in 2007.
2. Make the protagonist relatable to your target audience by giving them some (or all) of the following character traits:
- depressed - anxious - LGBT - traumatized - quirky sense of humor - unique yet common basic-bitch hobby such as photography, drawing or video game development
3. Alter the protagonist's appearance to be palatable to both the clueless public who haven't yet realized your flash gam-- I mean indie title is awful, and to the 12-39 year old females (and "females") who insist that it's the most compelling design since that time their favorite tumblr artist redrew an anime character as a koala. This may include any of the following:
- neon hair - pale or charcoal black (no inbetween) - pastel palette - piercings - masculine clothing such as flannel or rough denim - slender or childlike build
4. Manufacture buzz by baiting hit pieces about how awful your game is and starting fights with people on social media who don't like your game (don't worry, you've got the media in your corner!)
5. Have no less than three meltdowns over the course of development. It's best to have one before, during and after (with intensity ramping up with each consecutive incident of suicide threats, playing the victim and deleting your account only to return a week later). If you have not had at least a straight 48 hours of Yea Forums's catalog clogged with posters complaining about/ironically defending your game at this point, you have failed.
6. Enjoy your newfound fame and fortune. Port the game to consoles and watch your playerbase triple with disappointed children who saw bright colors, expected Mario and instead got to see a lesbian's battle with self-hatred. Consider making new controversies every few years to keep your game in the news. Rest well knowing you've inflicted your permanent brand of faggotry upon the gaming industry.
BRO NONONO A GAME WITH VALUES I DONT AGREE WITH IS GOOD AND FUN PEOPLE ARE ENJOYING THE GAME NO THIS CANT BE HAPPENING HELP Yea ForumsROS NO HELP I CAN’T STOP GIVING IT ATTENTION DUDE IT’S JUST THAT AWFUL GUYS HELP HELP THIS SHIT IS FUCKED DUDE
Jeremiah Thompson
Hello newfag. Yea Forumstards were memeing about abortion when the game came out. Regards on this board who don't play video games shouldn't surprise anyone anymore.
Anthony Ward
>short
Jack Turner
You forgot 7. shill your game 24/7 on Yea Forums with threads like this
Did you guys not see how the devs looked like at the game awards? This was to be expected
Jonathan Jones
Because that shit is easier Why bother with character design when you can just stick to the tried and true tumblr template? Why bother with strong writing when you can just give the character a few generic traits that apply to broad swathes of an easily persuaded market? Why bother with quality when you can take advantage of the media's bias against the core consumer base to foment controversy that gets you free press?
Oliver Williams
are there any good wetern indie games?, i only played shovel cuck and it was fun but nothing else
Luis Baker
When did you people become more fragile and whiny than the people you constantly complain about?
Christopher Bailey
People will be seething for a couple more weeks, then they forget about this nontroversy and flock to whatever new indie game pops up in the media. After the seethers leave, people will start unironically posting webms of them beating the really hard parts of Chapter 9 and talk about how tight and challenging the level design is.
Jordan Price
I would say no but I am working on something, I will shill my game here when it's done tho
>starting fights with people on social media >Have no less than three meltdowns over the course of development
Do people seriously get this obsessed over games they don't even like or play? Shit, I love this game and played it for countless hours but I don't even know who the developer is. What kind of weird mentality do you have to have to dedicate this much time to something you hate?
I like how Chapter 9 properly and formally teaches you about wavedashing, but sort of glosses over wallkicking and assumes you'll figure it out, while both 7-B and 8-C formally taught you both techniques before this.
People going straight from 8-A to Chapter 9 are going to have a hell of a time.
Christopher Scott
The really cringe inducing element is that this games depiction of "depression" is absolutely nothing like what real clinical depression is. It's just half assed virtue signaling.
Austin Rivera
Just like your post
Jeremiah Nelson
it's not real depression, but what self entitled women, s o y boys and trannies consider to be "depressed"
Benjamin Allen
Because the chapter was originally blocked until beating 8C, but they again had to lower it for those poor poor gamers just like being able to disable the assist mode shame marker
Carson Hernandez
Ahhh a fellow tranny, can't wait until your balls get cut off?
Henry Sullivan
>just like being able to disable the assist mode shame marker I am usually a patient, tolerant man, but there are some things I won't stand for.
John Brown
Tranny, how is not wanting to play something "being fragile"? In any case, stop bullying.
Jaxon Bennett
>reply_31.exe initiated
Hunter Long
lol upvote!
Jack Collins
7B is required to get to that part without corner boosting (need 15 hearts).
Samuel Myers
Imagine anyone that fapped to madeline
Ayden Thomas
Funny because it was one of my favorite games of whatever year it came out on solely based on the fact that it was an amazing platformer.
