1. Make a short, unsatisfying and wholly unoriginal platformer that would've stood a 50% of getting blammed on Newgrounds in 2007.
2. Make the protagonist relatable to your target audience by giving them some (or all) of the following character traits:
- depressed
- anxious
- LGBT
- traumatized
- quirky sense of humor
- unique yet common basic-bitch hobby such as photography, drawing or video game development
3. Alter the protagonist's appearance to be palatable to both the clueless public who haven't yet realized your flash gam-- I mean indie title is awful, and to the 12-39 year old females (and "females") who insist that it's the most compelling design since that time their favorite tumblr artist redrew an anime character as a koala. This may include any of the following:
- neon hair
- pale or charcoal black (no inbetween)
- pastel palette
- piercings
- masculine clothing such as flannel or rough denim
- slender or childlike build
4. Manufacture buzz by baiting hit pieces about how awful your game is and starting fights with people on social media who don't like your game (don't worry, you've got the media in your corner!)
5. Have no less than three meltdowns over the course of development. It's best to have one before, during and after (with intensity ramping up with each consecutive incident of suicide threats, playing the victim and deleting your account only to return a week later). If you have not had at least a straight 48 hours of Yea Forums's catalog clogged with posters complaining about/ironically defending your game at this point, you have failed.
6. Enjoy your newfound fame and fortune. Port the game to consoles and watch your playerbase triple with disappointed children who saw bright colors, expected Mario and instead got to see a lesbian's battle with self-hatred. Consider making new controversies every few years to keep your game in the news. Rest well knowing you've inflicted your permanent brand of faggotry upon the gaming industry.
