Is Samus an alcoholic?

fucking footfags always gotta point this shit out to me

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Samus is a lonely cake in space, si I guess she have to drink sometimes.

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god all i can see is her fucked up backwards foot

she isn't human anymore so maybe she can't gain a dependency on alcohol?

What the fuck is up with her right little toe? Shit, what the fuck is up with her tiny baby feet?

Out of all the vidya girls, Samus is easily the one I would do the most fucked up, borderline rape-y stuff to.

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>not lovey-dovey romance to heal her trauma

The based fem-protag ever made

Reminder to sage and report waifushit threads
She is literally a blank slate you autistic piece of shit

Dilate

Her legs don't start where her hips do either

i AM her trauma.

Unironically dilate famerino

Did Samus and Ridkey ever fuck?

FUCKIGN THANK YOU FOR POINTING THIS OUT IT CREEPS ME OUT Every time i see it

sounds like you need a bit of God in your life you unholy faggot. Turns out this erect cock of a man can do that for Samus at any time

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reminder that she's superhuman and would absolutely destroy you if you tried

but she would probably let you pretend because I guarantee you she would be a sub

>spoilers
Oh, of course. That's just what makes it even more screwed on her end.

Me on the right

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Sorry but anyone that drinks by themselves (pets count as by yourself) and ends up with beer cans or liquor bottles littered everywhere is an alcoholic.
t. Recovering alcoholic

Logan frequently downs liters of whiskey so he can feel drunk for like 5 minutes though

No

>recovering

haha faggot

I lost someone I really cared about from it, got fat when I used to be in shape, and I realized I was basically killing myself.
Alcoholism is a fun ride for a bit but it ruins your life

...Samus? Is that you?

no shes a cool gal

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Why don't I get hungover anymore when I drink a bottle of whiskey?

>not allowed to drink by yourself
worst meme

Staying hydrated, eating food while you drink, you're drinking it slower, you've gotten fatter so there's more of you for that shit to filter through, so on.

Post her feet

>borderline
lame ass

post her dick

Because you drink pussy 40%abv crap instead of real manly shit

he never said it's a high bar

>I have no self-control and I must project

fuck off, zerosuit darksamus is for bitches.

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I want to give up alcohol for health reasons, but I have a hard time being happy without a cold beer at the end of the day. Weed doesn't do the trick either, it just makes me anxious. I don't know what to do Yea Forums, life is too hard without being able to crack open a cold one.

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i want to hold hands with her and then spoon with her, her being the small spoon of course

Fucking monster.

I'm literally you right now but I don't want to stop. Hoping this shit kills me soon.

>tfw kill a handle in 3 days rinse and repeat

Why the fuck am I still alive I'm almost 30 and have been drinking heavy since 21. Fuck this gay earth.

lol what a baby

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Is it really the substance that makes you happy or the feelings you associate it with that make you happy? Pretty sure it's the latter, and you can find healthy substitutes that provide the same feeling without needing to depend on a substance...

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God why is her power suit so hot

sucks for you dude

I really hate what they did to her in Samus Returns. What the fuck is the right freak compared to the left beauty?

strawpoll.me/18628867

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kill yourself, Sybb

Kill yourself, titfag

buttfags and titfags can live together, remember, we arent that different

kill yourself, Sybb

Will you then propose to her and later make her into a mother?

maybe after getting to know her

Reported to the FBI. You need to be taken down, sicko.

try a glass of wine at the end of the day instead, i know its nothing like a nice cold brewski but its both healthy and alcoholic.

No I'm not.

Drinking with Samus

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Kill yourself Sybb, her ass isn' even fat in Zero Mission and is fit, fuck you and fuck off.

If it's fit, how do you explain the huge size?

>casual drinking
>kids: HURR ALCOHOLIC
Grow up, please.

>borderline
>posting sfm of that terrible DoA hag cosplay model instead of the real one
0/10

sfmus best samus

I want to save Samus from eternal Christmas cakedom by impregnating and marrying her, the order doesn't really matter

why is she memed as drinking?
Was she shown doing it in-game?

>ywn get an cute, alcoholic gf

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No, just Zero Suit fags imaginations.

I want samus to drunkenly abuse molest and rape me!

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>Feeding metroids
Did she skip those pirate logs on the prime trilogy or what?

I just imagine that all the Zero Suit Dark Samus images are Samus after the bad ending of Prime 3 rather than the actual Dark Samus.

Go to bed, Ridley.

Not an alcoholic but she does canonically drink some sort of space beer or sports drink as shown in this page in the manga

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Probably a sports drink to keep her body up.

That metroid drinking the beer is cute AF. I'm gonna steal it for use as a steam icon.

Crummy beer? I'd rather have a pail of water.

probably just this pic of her at a bar from the end of one of the GBA games. It's not a stretch to go from hanging out at a bar to drinking.

More than likely.
Also not to derail but in the page following the one I posted also shows she canonically sleeps in a bed at least 4x her size and has a messy/cluttered nightstand.

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I played super metroid recently and it makes me really sad. Why can't there be a metroid raising minigame? I want to raise those little vampires to be the best killing machines in the galaxy.

This is just one more reason we need a game where we play as the Zebesian pirates with the express goal of conquering the galaxy via the use of Metroids and TUUUUUBES

Definitely a workaholic with issues with her past, she and Master Chief would fit well with eachother.

For sure, she never catches a break. Even Metroid Zero Mission and Prime 3 (I guess also Prime 2 to an extent) shows her being awoken from sleep or have a relaxing time disturbed because she was put in a bad situation or she had more work to do.

Forgot to mention that the first few pages of the manga says she does all of it as part of a dying wish of a prominent figure in the Chozo race, who raised her and made her into who she is today.

Why would you drink beer etc over soda? I dont get it

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Samus had a hard life.

Nice projection. It's the amount you drink and how often, not the context in which you drink that matters.

Samus deserves the ntr and shit life. Maybe she should just quit her job?

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Kill yourself

I wont but Samus will, cant wait for Metroid 4 :^)

No kidding all memes and shitposting aside. You're supposed to interpret Samus' personality in any way you want, but I genuinely think she's a depressed, somewhat socially awkward person who can't really get much interaction outside of work because she's always so caught up in it. Maybe once in a small while goes on a vacation but it's very rare. And even if she does she'll probably stop everything she's doing the absolute nanosecond she finds out about a distress signal somewhere.

Samus is looking at the viewer as if you're in the room with her, hence she's not drinking alone. Why'd you make that assumption?

>those feet

I just have a beer after I get back from work and sometimes drink a glass of jack and coke on weekends. It's about the quantity, not where you drink.

Metroid 4 came out in 2002, I think you mean Metroid 5.

I don't get hangovers anymore too fater drinking a half a bottle of vodka every day for six months. That shit will catch up to you though, my memory's already fucked and can't sleep without drinking.

A beer a day won't kill you, go for it, it's as healthy as wine. It would be a problem if you were downing two six packs a day.

Don't fucking go there user. My ex was a raging alcoholic and all it did was bring both of us pain.

if I had the entire galaxy divided between people wanting to fuck me and people wanting to murder me, i'd be an alcoholic too

Why would you eat sweet stuff when there's sour? It's a completely different taste. You don't always want some sugary sludge. Just like you don't want chicken every day. Did I miss a joke here, or something?

why the fuck are her feet so retardedly tiny?

OG Lara Croft is a bit better

Alone?! GOOD GOD SOMEONE CALL THE ALCOHOLICE!

Cant be that bad

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Oh yeah? My ex opened a bar, flunked it and every day all she would do was drink and shit talk me. It got to the point that I had to hide all the alcohol in the house, even perfume and mouthwash. I had enough when she stabbed me with a broken bottle. Like I said, don't fucking go there.

While I agree with the counterpoints to your post I hope things improve with your alcohol intake.

ACE OF SPADES ACE OF SPADES

WAIT OFFICER MY CAT WAS WITH ME WHEN I DRANK THAT BEER I SWEAR.

Did your ex go to Oxford?

Why do you ask?

good lay

You got the wrong one then, burger here. She sure was awesome in bed before shit hit the fan.

not even him, dude

>Quantity
You say that but recent science has suggested that the frequency is also detrimental to your health. While the relaxation effects of alcohol increase your life span, as seen with the wine being healthy meme, not giving your liver a solid 48 hours of rest between alcoholic intake does damage over time. Not as much damage as a binge weekend of course, but still damage. Most doctors suggest if you're going to do a brewski or two after work that you do it at the start of the work week Monday (or w/e applies) and the end on Friday, or just every other day rather than every day.

Getting drunk obviously always does damage to the liver, but in those cases most experts recommend 72 hours after a large intake of alcohol to give time for the liver to heal itself.

K

You don't fucking want one.
Alcoholics will always smell like shit (but they can't tell because they're so used to it), they will rarely keep promises, they will quickly spiral out of shape and if they aren't then they probably have either an eating disorder or are vomiting everything up, and their breath is nausea inducing. Not to mention all the emotional headaches that come along with someone acting irrationally every single night because they're stupidly drunk.

I would say that alcoholics should only be in relationships with other alcoholics but that just leads to a mid 30s death on one side, leading to the other cleaning up so they can die in their 40s because their liver is too far gone

It's not like it'll take 20 years off of your life though. Also, getting old sucks balls.

You mean Seamus? Yeah she's a pure alco.

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Not past the age of 23.

It absolutely will, you just can't really put 20 years in perspective.
Instead of living to 93 you'll die at 73. Which yea ain't that bad for some people so sure, go right ahead, but other people want to live a long life.

For me one of my goals is seeing grandkids grow up. Would feel very satisfying and fulfilling I feel

yes, yes, and Spinach causes cancer or whatever

Still cant be worse than being eternally single

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>Actually unironically believing that alcohol isn't bad for you
Nigger I'm not even saying don't drink. I used to love to drink, and I still have a beer the one or two times a week I go out to eat, and still get drunk at holiday parties / special occasions.
But lets not pretend alcohol itself had any health benefits that are anything but placebo / stress related, and let's not pretend it doesn't fuck up your liver over time

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It is
Start going to the gym, talk to your coworkers and hang out with them so you get used to socializing with real people and get better at it, and if you haven't gotten into a situation where you start dating a friend of a friend / a co-worker etc. Then go on Match or POF and find someone that isn't completely broken
>Why not tinder or OkCupid?
Everyone on there is broken. Most of match and POF are too, but less broken.

I'd happily die in 60s. I took care of my grandfolks and with all the shit we got going on like type1/2 diabetes, high blood pressure and bone problems, I'd rather die early than suffer through all of that shit.

What color/type of underpants do you think Samus wears?

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>ironic weeb fagboi
>can't handle his alcohol
Colour me surprised.

One of my grandfathers died before I was born and the other died when I was like 5.
Personally I'd like my grandkids to at least have a chance to get to know me and hear my stories. I'm already afraid as fuck that my Dad is gonna die before I have kids because he's in his 60s (had me when he was 39) and he was an alcoholic all the way til his mid 40s

>colour
clockwork.

My dad had me when he was 47 now he's in his 70s. I made peace with that fact already, considering he smoked since he was 13 and stopped in his late 60s.

Define handle
Because in my prime I could have out drank anyone under the table, even my 6'6 best friend with a liver of steel.
But handle in terms of alcoholism? Yea, I couldn't handle that, and honestly when you get to a certain point no one can. What starts as getting drunk one night a week turns to two which turns to three and it's not pretty. Sure I'm being anecdotal here talking about myself, but I've also seen it happen to a lot of other people. Fortunately the worst thing I lost from it was just a relationship that was frankly shitty on both sides anyway, but I've seen people lose connection with their family, get kicked out of homes, and end up couch surfing for months.

If you can manage to find a good balance of getting drunk semi regularly or drinking just a beer each day without ever wanting more then great, that's good for you, just don't underestimate the chemically addictive properties or write them off, because they absolutely will fuck you up if you aren't careful.

Aren’t we all?

sauce

20 years, nigger, 20 years
go fuck yourself, you melodramatic cunt

Black.

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>with a liver of steel
do you hear yourself?
how the fuck do you type that shit without laughing

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TWO
LEFT
FEET

forced meme cock sucker

k

This isn't a bar it's a parts shop. Look at the shelves.

How bad is a 10+ drink binge once every weekend? Should I be expecting cirrhosis soon?

No because Samus isn't allowed to have character traits

don't use it, lose it
gotta keep that liver fit