Meanwhile in medieval Yea Forums

99 problems and bitches are some

goddamn i love to have marital intercourse with my 12 year old wife

fucketh feminists forcing thy female characters on everything!

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>reformation
>medieval
pick one

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thy video games sux

listen here you little shit

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I love how this thread just proves that Yea Forums doesn't know a god damn thing about the medieval period

Anyone else hyped for Chess to release?

yeah the one guy posting martin luther really speaks volumes about Yea Forums as a whole

Yes, you are very cool and superior to us in this shitposting thread

Any ludos about cutting down all the serfs in my path?

I WILT UTTER THE FORBIDDEN VOCABULARY
MOOR

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LOL

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R H O D O K S

any merriments about animals?

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Merriment is for fools.
I pray to Lord Almighty to undo my choice to have pleasure in life.
I should have never married. I should have been a priest.

Memento moris.

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SHE'S IN

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I am not one that consorts with beasts but...

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>Not Medie/v/al Yea Forums
SOILED IT

>LACKLAND MAN BAD
ffs when will lionhearts learn? King John just keeps winning

I hath tradeth mine own cow for a box from yonder east. Those gents calleth mine box "nintendo"

where's the proof?

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Family all just died of plague, what's a game for this feel

>choosing priestliness over ascetic hermeticism and mystical esoterism
simplie embaerassing

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Pathologic.

LMAO

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Thou lay with men!
He prefer the company of men!

Ring a Ring o' Roses

How do i respond to "I bite my thumb at thee" without sounding mad?

>chess

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My wif.

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We are aware, for the originator of the forum always lies with men

it is known

*dies of plague*

Now that's something I can get behind. Literally.
How do I convince my lady wife to wear to my armor before copulation?

Lol this harlot just furrowed her brows as I walked by her so I accused her of witchcraft and got her BTFO (literally). When will these wenches learn?

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Art thou a diminutive babe?
A knave most foolish, nay, a PIG in mud even, knows that the sign of the fig trumps a thumb bitten.

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A welle-placed hand that feels the swich licour of her blossomed flour may imbue her with a willingness for thy fantassies

The landlord fucked my wife, what crops can I grow to help me forget?

I'm still waiting on Chess 2. Let's hope they don't plough it up.

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Imagine ACTUALLY growing cabbages instead of carrots LMAO

Try Serf Simulator 1115.

why don't the ladies fancy me?

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Why do demons look so sexy?

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Thou must beeth thyself

Typicalie, onlie cattle have much appreciacion for salt licks

Thou art a fool and sodomite to ask wenches for blessings.
Marry them and then demand.

I'm going to bed my sister. Wish me luck brethren!

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>King Edward declared war on France
>Conscripted yet again and have to abandon all my perfectly good crops
>Wife probably gonna fuck my handicapped neighbor behind my back again
When I come back in 2 weeks like all the other shitty 'wars' we had I swear I'm gonna kick that bitch out on the streets

>I'm gonna kick that bitch out on the streets
That's ungodly!
You married her so you will raise her children!

>in the barracks with thine yeoman brethren
>wife sends you an etching of her ploughing yonder neighbor
>who's fornicating now ser bryan?

what thy think of my waif? i found it on the lands far east

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At which hour shalt i expect an actual new gospel from our lord? Truly, I hath been forced to readeth the same "new testament" for nearly a millenia.

I recently purchased a statue of my fair maiden!

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How does one resolve the drought that terrors our fields?

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The priest from the next town ever yelled some gibberish at me and now I feel like joining their village

I own a goat field. Anyone wiling to trade thy little sister for some ownership?

What's Yea Forums's opinion on this game? I'm 30 hours in and loving it

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Literally just go outside

Hark, you fools and commoners who enjoy the drivel that is western works know not of the true arts from the far east like myself. By the devil I doubt any of you even know such a place exists! Not only does it indeed exist, far across the sea on islands unknown to simpletons as yourselves, but their artists and craftsmen create works and wonders of the like unrivaled by anything the fools and jewry of these lands, created for art and beauty's own sake rather than from the whim and coin of king and clergy.

Yea, return to your toil and livestock (not farm animals, but rather that three dimensioned beast you claim as a wife!) while I enjoy the company of my left-hand literature and erotic artworks with my half-feline wife of two dimensions all while living on your taxes and tithes!

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I've been conscripted into the king's army, how do I get out of it?

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fucking Eastern sympathizers get thyself away from our holy land consecrated by the lord himself.

Why hello, peasantcuck. It's been a while since we last saw each other, I hope you had a good winter. What's that? Last year's failed harvest forced you to eat all your seed stock and now you have nothing for the sowing season AND you lost your youngest to starvation despite it all? Well that's too bad to hear, the Lord of the Manor prohibited hunting on his properties too but I can bet he had a good reason.

Me? I spent all my time inside the monastery reading and studying The Holy Bible, me and the lads had the occasional brew too. Too bad we're prohibited from sharing our own corn with you since we need it to make beer.

Anyway peasantcuck, another day, another shilling. Don't forget going to Church this Sunday.

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medieval times is a myth, they added a thousand years to the calendar, Rome never fell, society didn’t just randomly devolve for a thousand years and then shoot back up to civilized in a hundred years before randomly inventing everything in a hundred years and then having iphones, that’s retarded. Society has been advancing ever since the romans, electricity has been around for hundreds of years before tesla, edison, etc. and in a safe and renewable form which utilized the electromagnetic fields of the earth. pyramids were power plants, history is a lie. wake up faggots, the middle ages were like a couple hundred years thats why theres like a handful sources for the entire era. those shitty medieval paintings are fabrications, the entire era was invented to make you think that life used to be horrible and now you’re better off when the truth is the opposite: you suffer far more than your ancestors did.
youtu.be/Sdw9s-_mY20

Even within the currently accepted history of the past 1500 years, the dark ages are a myth. No one of serious repute uses that term or thinks that way, there was no massive drop-off in innovation

Fuck the English.

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you don't, we're here forever.

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HEY EVERYBODY, HENRY HAS COME TO SEE US!

STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TELL ME YOU ARE MEMING. MY BRAIN CANT HANDLE THIS RABBIT HOLE NO MORE
Brother before wenches

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>tfw waiting for Europe Classic to go live

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man what happened to the good old days

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i’m not, the jewish evil is far more pervasive than you could have ever realized

>>>/sanitarium/

Server got overrun with Germans. God I hate Germans soo much.

>Why yes, I am Roman Empire's true successor. How could you tell?

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Correct except the pyramids were temples used for healing and prolonging human life so we may experience and spur our spiritual evolution quicker. As time went on the line of the energy that entered these pyramids changed position over time and the temples can no longer be used for such healing purposes. then the god became 99 and the priests gave only lip service and then eventually these divine temples were degraded to places to bury the dead nobility.

Half of that is outside Europe

Thee stabeth my headeath
Must I continue to live my life in ignorance? Is there even something worth to struggle for? I have become to question everything and I feel my sanity and inner peace slipping.
Is there even a way to combat this?

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Perhaps one could think better of taking stock in ramblings found on internet imageforums

There are aye, if ye be on Chi-Box, or of the most high race. It is know there be no ludos at all for LudoStatio the Third, and never shall there be.

By God I want to fornicate with a dragon and her large bosom

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is this from that webcomic about such a premise

I specifically remember the one where he drinks a potion to give him a giant dong but then realizes it's too big to actually move

>plague
>religion
>kings
>knights
>maybe demons?
>plague
>europe
>dirt
>monty python
what else do you need to know about the medieval period, honestly

>be a good goy and drink your koolaid whilst we perform our weird numerological satanic rituals like 9/11
thou speaketh as a peasant. be silent, naive.

>regular Jeanne rather than anything else
Thou are based

Thinking? I can't, it's coming out UAAAaaaaaghgh

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>pentagon/pentagram

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When the Avars came and raped my entire village they dropped a curious board with a bag of stones. Verily it has entranced me. I no longer have the urge to till the land, to feed what flock is left, nor even to bathe. Such a neat and canny way to pass the time I’ve never imagined.

I see you are truly enlightened unlike all other peasants, amazing this pervasive evil still allows you to live, for surely no sane king would

Ever since the language switch from Latin to Anglo-Saxon this shithole is full of commoners

Yes

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Thine brethren, is it true that we shall go to war with the /k/ingdom? If so then my I say my final goodbyes to you all.

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jokes on you they’re using me as a guinea pig for directed energy weapons and they even hopped out of a van and forced me into an ER for a week whilst they injected me with all sorts of shit. I’m probably already dead, they’re just seeing if they can brainwash me first or whatever and assume people will just call me crazy. its called gangstalking, look it up

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neat, do you know the name, assuming it has one?

O! how I wish to lay with a lady-Professor of the darkest Plague! Whose bosom may extend further than the largeft buoboes of Filth and whofe posterior could provide the finest bedside Manners to a score of men at once!

It doesn't go anywhere

I know I remember reading it, but it's still funny

Thy wif a shit

Pray tell how many shillings you gave to the merchant of orient for such piece of vanity? Verily noble men such as yourself are more like children of tall stature, and your contribution to the village comparable that of a rat

500 gold pieces and I have requested several more

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I swear to god the next motherfucker I see with an open "science" book in their hands is getting thrown into the stake

pay no heed to me brethren, but pray tell, have any of you been coughing for longer than a fortnight?

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good sir, pray tell what comes of thee if I have?

visit thee to the gallows and hang thyself

thou has a mind consisting of semen

well, if thou wants to stay in good health fill thy room with smoke and posies

After that...we shall see

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I am going on a quest to find loli on the kings orders. Do not touch my food while I am gone.

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What in lords fucketh name is a loli
It sounds blasphemous

>France level
>Agincourt Carol starts playing
youtube.com/watch?v=5vX8i7zFLDg

>want to buy game pebble but have no leaf
>pick berry all day
>sweat and tired but Ungo give me three leaf
>buy pebble on way home to cave
>Ungo say me pick berry when sun rise or smash head with stone
>no time play pebble
>me when

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I saw Ragnar Lothbrok at a farm in Copenhagen yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for a duel or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my farming, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to feed the sheep up front I saw him trying to walk away from town with like fifteen potatoes in his hands without paying.

The slave girl at the farm was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around.

When she took a few potatoes in order to count the amount he had taken, he stopped her and told her to take them each individually “to prevent any maggotting,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she counted them all, begun to put them in a sack and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

bvsed

I'm sure glad to be living in Northern Europe where there will NEVER be huge amounts of those terrible Muslims

me bawls itcheth

>Infatuation with daemons.
Heretics like thou shalt be sentenced to the breaking wheel.

t. I think Giorgios Tsoukalos is god.

>why yes I did take part in the Crusades, how could you tell?

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>3+ fags trying to pass themselves off as first and second crusaders
No better than the barbarians you slaughtered tbqph

this, fucking newfags don't even care about the holy land and just want to brag about killing heathens

HARK, ALL THE ABBASIDS, 'R SARACENS AS I LIKETH TO CALLETH THOSE FOLK, RECEIVETH OUT OF J'RUSALEM BECAUSE T IS F'R CHRISTIANS ONLY, UND'RSTAND, BECAUSE IF 'T BE TRUE THEE DOTH NOT I SHALL MAKETH THE HOLY LANDS A CRUSAD'R STATE AGAIN!

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lay thyne eyes upon me for I am born female and doth enjoy thine festivities

is it not right to be proud to serve the lord?

Hark, the festivites come forth once again and I am without a wench... yahweh assist me, sard mine life

>he wasnt invited to the feast
SmuglySipsMurcery.scroll

CAN'T PLACE THAT THERE M'LORD

wish it had better DLC
theres like 5 but only one good one.

>This festival sucks
>My feet hurts
>This mead tastes bland
>This bard is too loud
>I want to go home and farm

SCV GOOD TO GO SIR

thanks for the shitting mate, sadly this is a vidya board, if you seriously want to see neckbeards discuss about history then go to r/history or our homegrown tards go to .

That's a nice head you have on your shoulders
I'll drink from you skull

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GUARDS! GUAAAAAAAARDS!

buttock

>that Boomer who still plays the Colosseum

lmao

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hippodromes are fucking gay and chariot races are boring

Greetings peasants. I have recently gotten myself a magical crystal. This crystal can answer any known question, however not all answers will be clear.

Go ahead, ask the crystal your questions

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clearly you're not familiar with jojo part 2:battle tendency

will i ever get a gf?

Will the king tax-rape my ass again this year?

The crystal says: yes, however she will not love you

The crystal says: The king will die in a fortnite and his son will inherit the thrown, you will be taxed much greater this year as a result