Untitled

Help! Murder!

Okay I did that and now the whole city is after me. What now?

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Run to Kvatch.

RUN WHILE YOU CAN

YOU CAN'T CATCH ME I'M THE OBLIVION MAN

Those pesky guards have set up a traffic jam! I can't get to Kvatch like this! What do I do now?

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>doesn't have 5000 skooma to become light itself

who even are you

hide in the water

I don't know man that seems kind of risky, should I really drink that much skooma?

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s'cool

it can't be worse than prison

Edgar Vautrine

shelve it up your arse and go on the ride of your life

Haha you should fuck an argonian for laughs.

Alright I drank all the skooma I could and ran to Kvatch faster than the game loads. There's a banana man running at me. Should I kill everybody here?

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not the based hirtel

It's one of those "high elves". Pretty sure you've heard about them already. Better run.

Run. Run while you still can.

Who?

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The main villain is a high elf, for all you know that could be him. Better kill him before he kills you.

NO YOU FUCKER

Okay, I killed all the nonhumans (redguards, nords, elves...) at the refugee camp except for this argonian woman I found. Should I really fuck an argonian? Talos tells us that bad in church though.

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Head to Bruma, that's where men are women!

>kills nords
>attend church for talos

Dibella says put it up her butt.

Akatosh personally hands you a ribbed condom and a dragon dildo

I'm a breton so obviously I worship Talos because Tiber Septim was a breton and that's a well known fact despite what Nord history revisionists tell you.

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Alright I fucked that argonian up big time like you guys told me to using this black thing I found

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hot, now go to the shivering isles the police won't find you there

why the long face??

Aw crap man why didn't you tell me to do that earlier? I went ahead to Bruma and the law caught up

not cool man I get real sensitive

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>using this black thing I found
a bbc?

I snuck in the castle and the countess is just standing there, I don't think she sees me yet. What the fuck do I do now?

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masturbate in the corner

masturbate in her bedroom and coom on her bedsheets before she jumps into bed for the night

you can't just jerk off with her in the room, kill her first

Aw crap the game crashed

I miss these kinds of threads, comfy af

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Nickies, is that you?

she looks kind of retarded i feel bad
maybe sneak some pennies into her pocket that'll cheer her up when she finds them later

good
now kill them all

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now what?

>Chrysamere
Truly patrician