TF2 THREAD

god damn

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He was trying to play the clumsy act, which everyone bought.

Knowing Valve this was by complete accident but cool nonetheless

Even you

BLU spy knew scout was the spy.
He was going to say if soldier hadn't shoot him "he could even be... right behind you!".
the RED Spy even finishes his sentence for him.

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Blu spy probably knew and was going to reveal it at the end for dramatic effect before getting blasted by soldier.

Why do the models in the films look so much better than in game? They are the exact same models, right?

no

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It's those little thing I love about TF2
20 years from now. You damn fucking know I will still love those trailers and say to my son "son this was a damn good game."
>reminder meet the spy is 10 years old
>meet the medic is 8, with f2p also being the same age.
>meet the Pyro and mvm are 7
>start of the comic serie is 6
>expiration date is 5
>jungle inferno is 2

they are actually different models

theres 2 models for heads for every character
the ingame one and the cinematics one
you can swap the ingame heads with the cinematics one

gives the characters wrinkles and smoother looking heads
doesnt eat up any extra power either

besides that the films generally look better due to lighting, no aliasing, and motion blur. the kind of things that easier to make look good for a film but not so much on-the-fly in a game

woah

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the SFM shorts use higher quality models with more details like on their hands and faces, they're in the actual TF2 files and can be used instead of the original models using certain console commands

>reminder meet the spy is 10 years old
Jesus christ. I remember talking about it in high school. Now I'm already done with college.

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I hope someone was fired for this blunder

>still no news on the heavy update.

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I have fond memories of going to my friend's house in middle school to watch him play the beta. I graduated college a year ago.

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>Knowing Valve this was by complete accident but cool nonetheless
shut the fuck up zoomer

Get ready to rip gabe's dick off and give it to his mom

It's dead jim, just let it go.

10+ years of "updates"

>New weapons! New balancing! New achievements! It could be Heavy. Or it could be Pyro. But it's not gonna be both!

They warned us beforehand, but the stupid community didn't believe them.

Call me a weakfag for saying that but.
I started tf2 in 2009 when I was eleven. I never had a lot of friends so I was online most of the time. Playing tf2 and looking at tf2 related things.
So much that... I almost saw the mercs as friends. I really damn loved tf2 until 2015 when I stopped for a stupid reason. (I almost returned in 2016 but the rank shit disgusted me back then)
But now... Life is shit... I'm almost friendless because they abandonned me I don't know why. I want to play tf2 again... To feel like I have some friends, the community, the funny voice lines, the absurd situations in-game... I miss them... I want to go back... Back when I was still happy and alive inside.

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We're all in the same boat pal, or at least one similar

Anyone knows if mat_picmip 4 and r_lod 5 can be enabled on casual servers?

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>I want to go back... Back when I was still happy and alive inside.
Welcome to adult life, champ.

So, how do you guys think the died? (if he really died and wasn't revived again.)

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Same, but I was older. I didn't have a lot of friends IRL but I was a regular in a server that's long dead and I was liked by everyone, and we all played together. Zombie Fortress, Surfing, regular TF2, etc, we played it all. Trading came out and I'd even go out and get cool items for them, and they'd buy hats for me from the Mann Co store as gifts.
Eventually we all split apart for whatever gay internet drama, and I quit playing entirely in 2013. Came back because of the Unusual bug and I'm having fun playing it again, but it's still depressing to see every community server that isn't memeshit like Freak Fortress, Trading servers or 24/7 2fort is fucking dead. The ranking system is god fucking awful and I hate it.
I've still got all the hats they traded me, my original vintage hats and weapons, and my promotional items. I never traded any of it away, but it feels like it's just a memento of the past.
I just want to go back to those dreamlike days of 2007-2013. I want to go back to active communities on this game. I want it to stop having a matchmaking system and I want Valve to stop trying to make it like every other awful 2010s shooter.

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assuming it isn't a hallucination brought on by blood loss, its likely due to a fling with a girl gone horribly wrong

"hey guys look I can do a backflip"
*dies*

man that 13.8 billion year meme is complete shit

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I can’t read what the bottem text says, can anyone spoon feed me please?

posts like this are why I still come to this fucking hellscape of a shit website. Thanks user

>it's still depressing to see every community server that isn't memeshit like Freak Fortress, Trading servers or 24/7 2fort is fucking dead
This. I had a lot of fun in community servers, but the whole Freak Fortress and shit got old real fast.
I just really miss this game and his characters. Fuck.

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I'm supposed to wake up in 2 hours. And I played tf2 all the night to not feel sad.
Fuck me. Is sleeping even an option in such a short time?

for you, yes

Considering Tom Jones appears in heaven without scout knowing that he's there or even knowing that he's dead and would be in heaven, I think it's pretty safe to assume it isn't a hallucination.

Freak fortress is fun from time to time. At least from what I remembers of it. It's being age I didn't played tf2. Any tips to return? Stopped in 2016.
But nothing is better than a damn comfy game on Turbine. I love this map.

Get an hour in and prepare to suck down a few coffees/energy drinks, friend.

that image is like 10 years old

>meet the Pyro and mvm are 7

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While a tf3 ever be made? They can't keep tf2 alive forever... And beside scout, medic and maybe spy, most of the voice actors are close to retirement. In their 70's, heck soldier is almost 80 and probably will die soon.
But how could they do item wise? And could tf3 be as comfy as tf2?

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Hitting your knuckles with the blunt edge of a butterfly knife still hurts, especially if you're swinging it that carelessly and you're not expecting it.

>Any tips to return? Stopped in 2016
Just hop back in and start playing again. Not much has changed, it's still the funnest game on the internet.

It's part of growing up dude. I'm only 4 years older than you, and that feeling only gets worse.

Fuck.
Unless I somehow start making my own video game or something... I don't know I can survive this. I was so much into the medias I'm now disgusted of real life... Escapism maybe wasn't a bright idea but fuck... I don't know if I can do it. I guess I'm really weak mentally. I never really matured... Even if I know how the world work. I just can't, something is missing in me.

The road to peace and tranquility will be an hard one. If I ever achieve it. I will try my best. Can't give up now even i don't know how to rise.

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>mfw I crit

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is achievement idle still a thing? i used to love those maps when i was younger, my brother and dad would play them all the time

abloobloo I am philosophical

they are there
they just don’t work and are dead

*soldier scream in the background*

So the blue engineer is with the administrator in an undisclosed location.
Where is the red engineer?

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TF3 classes are just Scout dressing up as everyone and putting on a funny accent. Except Spy, 'cause fuck 'em.

don’t you have a yt channel to run?

valve was actually known for crazy attention to detail in their videos

Also
>maybe spy
Isn't he still doing voice work for DOTA and whatever else Valve is working on? IIRC he along with his wife (the administrator) are some of Valve's long-running VAs dating back to HL2. He's done radio work too, I heard him on the radio the other day as some sort of Johnny Dollar rip-off, I was going buts trying to figure out where I'd heard that voice until I realized it was one of the HL2 citizens.

he was talking about the Director

Probably dead like the rest of BLU.
What are BLU team anyway? Clones? Brothers?

>fire a single pill randomly in the general direction of the enemy
>it was a crit
>it kills three people

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Best you can hope for is to carve enough of a piece of the world for yourself so you can pursue your hobbies in peace. If your job is your hobby you're either the luckiest or unluckiest person on the planet.

There is no red Engineer. The comics never show more than one of the TF2 classes at once and treat them all as one team. Also, is that a crease on Engie's arm there showing he's got a flesh colored prosthetic on over a Gunslinger?

youtube.com/watch?v=86p3aLits1A
>jungle inferno is 2
DAY 682
GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 682

God forbid you try new things for rewards. Don't be such a whiny faggot and have fun

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>shoot a huntsman arrow into the air at random
>headshots someone

>it's a scout who was jumping in the air.
>he get impaled on a wall
The type of satisfaction you can only feel from tf2.

Only maggots let thread dies!

Just give tf2 some love for gods sake before its too late

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In that case, why would he be blue instead of red?
>Also, is that a crease on Engie's arm there showing he's got a flesh colored prosthetic on over a Gunslinger?
Maybe. It appears consistently in every panel where that part of his arm is visible.

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>that pic
>remember i was in the thread where that image was created
>remember shitposting about No mans sky at launch
>look up its release date
>August 9, 2016
>its already been 3 years

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Fuck I'm sad now.

>mfw I crit and some faggot posts his Uncle Reddit-approved anti-crit bind

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yet soldier blows spy's head off despite the fact that theres literally no friendly fire in the game unless some turns it on in a custom server

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You also can't disarm people then disguise as them, slide sappers across the ground, or parry melee.

>meet the pyro is 7 years old
god damn i still remember everyone asking valve about where meet the pyro is

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>mfw I get crit and the other person "apologizes"

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They're on a modded community server.

Actually spies knife is modified and the tip part isn't safe, but the part he got stabbed was safe

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blu engie is the canon one, go read the comics

>tfw the retro version of the pyrovision glasses actually are slowly increasing in price.
I always wondered : why is this item so numbered and cheap? It was just distributed in small quantity normally right? , and only during the day of the meet the Pyro.

He's right though. Achievements WERE fun. But now the contract shit is like parent supervised fun.
>You can have a treat, but ONLY if you play on our servers by our rules! No fun maps! Only matchmaking!

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>>jungle inferno is 2
>DAY 682
>GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 682

>valve on the release of jungle inferno
>we're not going to make large updates anymore, we're going to make smaller updates more frequently
>we felt like the wait for jungle inferno was too long
>682 days ago

its episode 3 all over again holy shit

>its a hightower related contract

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I remember laughing about final fantasy 7 remake being split into parts 4 years ago.

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Team Fortress (Quake): Boomers
Team Fortress Classic: Millenials
Team Fortress 2 (Source): Zoomers

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user tf2 is 12 years old.

get out of here you ranger profligate

TFC > TF2 > TF

But the red team knows of an engineer that should be part of their team. Early on when they're reassembling the team Miss Pauling mentions engineer. I would think that if there was no red engineer, demo would have said that they didn't have an engineer on their team. I don't remember if it's ever mentioned in the comics, but red team is presumably still unaware that Pauling and the administrator are playing both sides. That would seem to mean that either there are two engineers, or the red engineer changed to the blue team at some point.

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There's something you're missing, because Valve had to cut it.
MvM was supposed to be both RED and BLU models fighting alongside one another to beat the robots. But the very intelligent valve playtesters were getting too confused.

And the timeline goes like so:
TF2 (not MvM mode)>the helltower event>MvM mode>the comic series

Why tf2 team can't be like csgo team?

God damnit this got me.

Csgo is infinitely more popular. And it's also younger.

Because TF2 isn't an esport or rake in as much fat stacks of cash.

I know you can use the HWM models, but I don't think they exist in console commands.

I can't think of any reason they'd exist normally ingame. outside maybe the class selection screen.

Daily reminder that TF comics are dead and the main artist said the last part is not happening

Given that was cut and never officially alluded to at any point as having happened, I would say that's non-canon.

Whoring out their game even worse?

Gonna need a source on that chief. Though I don't really doubt it.

Nice try, anone, but I can't be fooled. I know the final issue of the comic is going to drop any day now along with the heavy update.

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Clearly it is canon if the main engineer in the comics is the BLU one.

I'm gonna wait for the NDA to wear off so they release it as a text like Epistle 3

>last operation was 2 years ago
>last new weapon was 3 years ago

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>>last new weapon was 3 years ago
well that's just wrong

ok fine but I need the jokes

me too

>TheR8 Revolveris an 8 shot revolver introduced as part of the2015 Winter UpdatetoCounter-Strike: Global Offensive.
The mp5 doesnt count

why does it not count?

It was in source

so do the m4 and usp not count either?

I always thought that that was a fakeout, good one.

Not when this was made, this was typical Valve.... at one point.

>mfw I get a crit pipe and nuke three to four people
I may not have earned it, but it feels damn good

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If we're counting the update comics as canon for blu engie's appearance in Loose Cannon, then we also see a red engineer in Shadow Boxers and a blu soldier in WAR!
Also, I just noticed that the blu and red teaming up idea appears to have made it through on the last few pages of A Fate Worse than Chess, where we see a blu scout, medic, heavy, and pyro, and a red engineer. So if we do consider that concept to be canon then either we do have red and blue versions of every team member or people are switching teams left and right.

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Read again user
>NEW weapon that isnt from source

makanidotdot.tumblr.com/post/183034248261/not-to-be-inconvenient-or-rude-but-if-you-were

>They made him into a chad
lmao stay made boomers, OH YEAH YEAH

They could be switching sides due to in fighting between the mercs
After all only 3 of them are "sane"

The only hope for TF2 is when Game/Valve anounces a ValveTI or something. Or better yet if Dota TI prize pool spills to CSGO and TF2.

Holy fuck

I've been here since 07 and didn't know that

>fucking smash will end up having all the dlc characters revealed before the tf2 comics update again

Wow, you completely misrepresented what they said.
>It's not happening
Nowhere in this post does it imply that. They said they are looking for a good window and it's not CURRENTLY being worked on, but it might be when they see the opportunity you bald-faced liar.

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Daily reminder that Valve dropped TF2 like Valve dropped trading in Portal 2

>But the very intelligent valve playtesters were getting too confused.
BUT
HOOOOWWW

Yeah but nobody cared about that second thing.

Just like with left 4 dead 3 right user?
Its time to let go my son...

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>Valve dropped trading in Portal 2
oh wow I totally forgot about this

Nowhere does that say that the final issue is dead or not happening.
Nice try though, anone.

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The last comic was released more than 2 years ago, and they're STILL looking for time just to work on it. It may as well be dead my dude.

huuur durr the the people are blue like duh roobots are dey on the same side???

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I'm not exactly holding my breath, but I'm also not going around telling people the TF2 team confirmed the comic isn't ever going to happen.

...

HOW WAS I SUPOSSED TO KNOW THAT I NEEDED TO SHOOT THE ROBOTS IN THE MANN VS MACHINE GAME MODE, FUCKING VALVE MAN
ACKACKACKACKACK

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i regret watching those tf2 gmod videos cause it tainted my humor with idea that loud = funny

The pinch of the blunt end still hurts, and the pinch of a blade end will do more than just nick you, it will slice you right open. His reaction to getting pinched is fine, this pic is looking too far into it

Just like valve!

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Valve hires the dumbest playtesters possible, user, so they can get a grasp of the lowest common denominator. HL2 had a split-section where one of the two paths looped back around while the other went forward, and playtesters would take the looping path over and over so Valve just removed it.

>this but by throwing the guillotine meat cleaver into the air as scout and it lands on a enemy team member chasing me
Back before it got nerfed to oblivion of course.

HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

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its still fun as hell to use though, and more practical than the pistol

but how do you hire dumb?

Valve, like most game developers, gets single-digit IQ retards to test their games because the money of single-digit IQ retards is just as good as anyone else's and there's a whole lot more of them.

I don't believe this claim no matter how many times it's stated. Yes, the playtesters are grade-A retards, but I think Valve just found it easier to make the robots blu rather than whip up three teams.

I shit you not I unironically think your best bet would be seeing how much a girl struggles to go through it. either that or a rando clueless parent.

I just wish we had maps/missions where you played as BLU mercs fighting RED robots. I think there are a couple custom MvM maps that do that but nobody plays custom MvM beyond the potato campaigns.

>more practical than the pistol

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>nu cleaver
>good
>better than pistol

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Consistent 50 dmg plus 100 bleed dmg, only need to hit one shot to kill someone low health, can stop someone from chasing you, has no random spread so you are more likely to hit your target

It isn't better, than the old cleaver, but i still find it more useful than the pistol

>100 bleed dmg
user, it's only 40 bleed damage. You also have to factor in the recharge time and the possibility of missing your target.

40's still alright but the recharge time is really short if you don't factor in long range shots, and it can be inconsistent if your aim is too

>Daily reminder that TF comics are dead and the main artist said the last part is not happening

the main artist said they were done a long time ago, as in its finished and waiting on the update.

>but i still find it more useful than the pistol
why

honestly I can't see a use for cleaver now when its shit for finishing guys off, and underpowered for an opener.

Grenades were so much fun, But by god, you had to dump your explosive ammo if you didnt use any just incase an engi got a grenade at you

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At between 4.5 to 6 seconds to recharge, it is short, but even five seconds can be forever in the middle of a fight, and it's nothing compared to the pistol's blistering 1.25 second reload.

>game has one billion things to do and is 15 fucking years old
>most popular thing to talk about is saying 'boohoo no updates' 10 times a day

shut the fuck up, you are like little babies.

How's it shit for finishing?

50 damage Projectile with 40 hp bleed, when you typically need to do just 25 damage immediately.

If you miss they get away.

Yeah, you're right it would be better at close to med range.

>have a game that is successful for over 10 years and has a huge playerbase still

games like that usually get updated, yes.

valve is just uniquely retarded, i think gaben is developing dementia

yeah its decent zoning I suppose when you nicked them and they're still fighting you. but I'm not a fan of switching to projectiles mid fight.

Yeah that's the biggest appeal of it, that and pissing off every sniper in the lobby

Blue Spy almost certainly knew, and he was going to reveal it before Soldier blew his head off. That's also why he taunted him with the pictures.

>that and pissing off every sniper in the lobby
Shame they removed the minicrits because "that encouraged long range spamming".

but then gave it a faster cool down when you hit something at long range.
Which encourages long range spamming.

>Using a damage dealing secondary when you can live forever with the mad milk or murder everything instantly with the crit-a-cola
Scattergun is pretty much all you need as a scout, why even use a pistol/cleaver?

I'm "bad at game" so i have to make up for it by using "Unskilled bleed weapons"

>why even use a pistol/cleaver?

FaN.
Finally got good enough with the thing that force jumping meatshots is like a bird knowing how to fly.

Pistol is great for bulling shitty snipers or picking someone off from far away. The first shot is always 100% accurate.

That and I really do miss shots because I'm bad

Holy shit

>I know you can use the HWM models, but I don't think they exist in console commands.
mp_usehwmmodels 1
mp_usehwmvcds 1

>wanting new characters
There are always soundalikes.

>>expiration date is 5
This hits me the hardest because I've internalized it as the "most recent big update"

God. Just slept 1 hour and 40 minutes.
Playing tf2 instead of sleeping before an important day at college isn't a good idea.
College is shit anyway
God
Fuck me.

It's certainly scary, I'll give them that.

>Just slept 1 hour and 40 minutes.
Are you me? Got all cozy and ready for bed but now I'm up for the night.

QUICK
POST YOUR SPRAYTAG AND WE CAN PRETEND THIS IS A COMMUNITY SERVER THAT ISN'T DEAD

>mfw I get a crit and do a laughing taunt, then follow up with a short "owned" message.

STOUT SHAKO FOR 2 REFINED

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Id be banned.

blur it out

fuck no heroes servers

seeThey never said that both would get one.

>set actually looks good
>pieces easily used in custom sets
>would make "minecraft good fortnite bad keanu reeves wholesome speech 100" rebbitors buttmad
I want it

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Pretend I posted this on top of someone else's spray.

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Is that Serhiy?

MADNESS VS MACHINES FUCKING WHEN

>Potato MvM
>not having massive, innumerable deadline drift
Funny joke user
I do want it too, though. Canteen Crasher was great. Why Valve hasn't added community MvM maps/missions to the official game mode is beyond me; all they'd have to do themselves is make some new australium recolors.

The worst part of MVM is that most of the missions aren't actually that hard as long as you have a good team. But because only potatoes seem to play it nowadays, sometimes even intermediate can be impossible.

i still miss mvm
potato is fun but it was cooler to have a vanilla experience with new friends, i knew a guy called rex who grinds on two cities constantly, he was based

So what modes do you fucks play? I just play control point maps. Maybe some hightower if i feel like it.

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>valve spends years hyping up MVM, ever since the brief tease in the engineer update trailer
>drops it after only like a year
I hate valve and everything they stand for, they have the attention span of a goddamn moth.

i fucking miss 2009-2012 tf2
mannconomy fucked the game hard but it was at least manageable before until 2013 when quickplay fucking killed community servers

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You sure that's what did it? If anything, I feel like meet your match is what did it in as hard as possible. I still remember community servers being quite thriving during the quick play era, now all I seem to go to anymore is Skial.

Which character has the largest penis?

demoman

youtu.be/O9jfcItjIBc

quickplay is what started the downfall
comm server owners were forced to adjust the servers so that they would be eligible to be found via quickplay and in turn removed a lot of features their respestive communities enjoyed
last game i played was during the 2014 halloween event with some bumper cars shit i think?
then i logged in out of curiosity in 2015 to find 2fort with flying saucers and some csgo like coins/stamps/whatnot next to player names in the leaderboard
this is when i felt that the game i loved had died
gave it a few more shots in the following years only to be disappointed more and more, finally uninstaleld permanently last year when i realized the magic was entirely gone, replaced by retards, trannies, horsefuckers and spinbotters

>bronies always brought up with tf2 these days
Is there some sort of inside joke I'm missing or what? I thought that show or its fanbase wasn't relevant in years.

for some reason they still massively cling to tf2 and refuse to let go
in 2018 i was still seeing neckbeards wearing full pink with pony avatars and every item having a name/desc as a mlp reference

Sniper, but he thinks it's too small.
I need Sniper+Scout porn.

Soldier

Pyro, if what I've seen around is any proof.

+super fast switching to it
+consistent bullet spread

-does less damage than the stock Shotgun except for at point-blank range.

Medic. His attitude and confidence is a dead giveaway.

God I miss spray why don't tf2dev make it visible for other players again

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but someone might spray a swastika and Charell will cry xir eyes out :(

Blu Spy did know, it's the entire reason he gives the knife back to "Scout" with a smug grin as if it were his.

I still see them daily.

I miss going on valve servers and spraying hentai gifs near the enemy spawn then just lurking by it while cloaked to pick off the retafds who stopped to watch

what game
this looks comfy

Why would anyone still play TF2 when OW exists? I mean apart from having spent hundreds of hours and dollars into it and trying to justify your investment.

Don't know but @kyu_fu anyway go check him out I guess
From the currently state of OW I don't think I would jump on OW anytime soon I mean the game is kinda boring for a while now so

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>it's a contract on a map no one ever plays

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One of my friends played overwatch a lot and he said it's completely unplayable now with all the stupid shields. I only played the beta and thought it was a bad game compared to TF2.

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*ahem*
Fuck Barno

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fuck man that was the best

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Gunslinger Engi on KOTH

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I honestly don't care, the reason I play Scream Fortress (and you should too) is because Halloween is the best holiday of the year and I fucking love playing on Halloween themed versions of maps. New cosmetics and maps is just the icing on the cake.

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>update is out
>it's battle royale

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>I don't believe this claim no matter how many times it's stated.
All you have to do is watch the trailer. They were all uniformly gray.
youtube.com/watch?v=C4cfo0f88Ug

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Should a Spy using a dead ringer not die if the damage taken exceeds his current health?
Say, he gets hit by a crit projectile or a melee?

Whenever characters go to heaven/hell or wherever in the comics that's them respawning.

The 2Fort Knight

>Toxic community
>giving power to randoms to kick because lulz or shit reasons
>Hates free to play players
I'll pass maybe when 3 comes out then i can ignore all 3 problems. Let me know when no one has the power to kick anybody. I don't spend money to be kicked by a 12 year old or a nigger chimping out.

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reddit might be more your thing

reddit.com/
Go for it champ.

Quit being a hacker/faggot then.

>Quit being a hacker
Automatically assuming a hacker is on the loose because he's good
Ok buddy sure whatever excuse works for you.

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Literally the only time people get kicked is when it's the most blatant aimbot.

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Faggot it is, then

Said everybody PFFT HAHAHAAA!!!
>punished for being good
Loser it is. then.

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>t. get good get lmaobox

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Aren't all of those solved by "lol go to another server"? Maybe things are different now but when I played you could find a fuck ton of different communities with different attitudes.

t. meme

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k tranny

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Engineer
youtube.com/watch?v=pg8F86xWKiA

?

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kicked some homo that kept spamming the chat with blank text
he wasnt even hacking, was just being obnoxious

>k tranny
I'm a tranny now? well looks like i won with logic. Enjoy being a bitch peace I'm out to better games nigger lol.
Oh by the way i have valid legitimate reason your community can never admit to.Your game is trash you are trash and i pray to god gaben himself kills your shitty game.

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Oh no no no no no.

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See ya later

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I get kicked all the time on pubs because of some salty shitter.

>I get kicked all the time on pubs because of some salty shitter.
Time to take away the kick option.

>game looks worse and performs worse 10 years after launch
Valve is the definition of love and hate

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My favorite moments are when I'm the only one pushing and actually trying to capture a point, everyone else is getting camp spawned or picking their boogers or jacking each other off I dunno, and as soon as I even remotely hint at the state of affairs of the match I get everyone kicking me.

What if a change org petition started or something, I don't think money is the issue and I doubt they could not find a free month inside the year to finish it.

I just make some other dude do the contract and just buy the item from the market. Alot of the contracts are grindy unfun loadout waste of hours.

youtu.be/pf5a5T7kcr0

Official tf2 penis size chart

>communities

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This is why i rather play with advance AI. I hope one day we get this so i can play a game and not deal with faggots.

>that CLONG hitsound

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Anyone else noticed how nobody and I mean FUCKING NOBODY uses the sandman anymore?

Only communities still alive nowadays are those who play on meme maps or with meme rulesets. I miss just playing on normal maps but finding the same people there day after day.

Now it's just "start the game, boot into casual mode, get matched up with randoms, 50% of the time you land in a team that's already getting stomped and about to lose, you stay hoping to play for the next round but the next team already had a game lead and nu-casual automatically switches maps after a 2-game lead."

What you mean after they nerfed that (objectively broken) weapon into the ground, how it went from being a hard counter to ubercharges to a mild inconvenience.

Remember that the current TF2 team or whatever's left of it has no idea what to do with TF2, or any understanding of the previous team's vision. Remember the Righteous Bison """Fix"""?

WISH WE COULD TURN BACK TIME, TO THE GOOD OLD DAYS

It shouldn't have worked on ubers to begin with. There fixed the weapon without making it useless.

Yeah you mean how it worked for quite some time before they removed the stun?

Hurry up and make a tf3 so i can play the dam thing and get fucked and raped.

SACRE BLU

do they ever explain in the lore why the two teams look the same? do they acknowledge it? clones?

Around 360 employees at Valve and nobody to give a fuck about TF2 to at least do something about its situation, just let that sink in

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too busy trying to INNOVATE when VR is clearly dead and nobody wants their card games or consoles

>crazy attention to detail, typical valve at one point
ah yes, the same valve that though the choke tube on a spas 12 was a second barrel

First person shooter games aren't even games, they're just Shooting Simulators/War Simulators
even fighting games have more gameplay

Quick Yea Forums, give me your TF2 weapon ideas, I'll start;
>fart in a jar
sniper secondary that works like an airblast, pushing enemies and extinguishing teammates while also allowing you to launch yourself to new vantage points.
>spy watch that lets you walk through enemies instead of cloaking.

This thing is still pretty good huh

Oops.

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How are fighting games even games? You just press buttons at timed intervals.

when did Gaben and valve as a whole die to you?
for me it's Artifact announcement

>kook the spook
How did Valve get away with this?

Why do strange parts cost that much now? Did the ref dump fuck them up too or is no one opening crates and they are running out?

ACKTCHUALLY it's a fast double fire, you can hear the shots one right after the another if you pay attention. Not that makes it any less retarded, we've seen worse things coming from Valve, like that MP7 or the left handed AK.

Tell me about it.

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>watch that lets you walk through enemies instead of cloaking
>walk through person
>immediately turn around and backstab

maybe make it a knife replacement that stops backstabs instead of cloaking then?

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>Playing as Pyro
>Other team has like 4 Spies
>Sees Scout teammate go apeshit because there's a Spy around
>burn and try to follow him
>cloaks himself and manages to escape
>Go apeshit and start burning the whole room
>didn't find him and gave up for 4 seconds
>instincts kick in
>turn around and mouse1.jpg
>Found him and he dies
>proceeds to type in all caps and call me a filthy wm1
I know that compared to all of you I'm a complete newfag in this game, also I fucking suck at it, but what the fuck did he want me to do? Use the flare gun to spycheck? Isn't the most effective way to play the Pyro just to run into people and torch the fuck out of them? Works for me most of the time, isn't he supposed to be the scrubby class anyway?

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>spy watch that lets you walk through enemies instead of cloaking.

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Spy players are just some of the saltiest faggots in the game.
>Follow some spy to some stairs
>runs up and jumps backwards
>mfw I just stand at the base looking at him like the retard he is
>"wow fucking w+m1 noob"

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The Plot Hook from the tf2 weaponizer.
>No moving while cloaked.
>Fires a grapple hook in a straight line when cloaking
>Allows you to stick to walls and ceilings as long as the cloak duration lasts
I had so much fun with that thing just running around a corner and sticking to the ceiling with people chasing me.

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Based

>not knowing pepsi man
Cmon user

>Engie projectile weapon that isn't shit
I just want to fire slugs at people in mid to short range. Why did they nerf the Pomson?

that just makes spy useless

Because spy is already shit enough as is, also medic mains got triggered.

>>expiration date is 5
>>jungle inferno is 2
Fug man, fug, these are the only ones I'd be old enough to be wholly conscious of. But time soothes the hearting ache for want of tragedy and desire, is this life? I still remember reading the comics as a kid.

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soul

I always liked Spy's appreciation of the theatrical, he likely would of revealed the red spy but alas he was shot by soldier.

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Spy will always be shit against good players. Draining cloak from him is barely anything when Pyro just exists.

>aim huntsman with absurd levels of skill
>people start getting salty
>headshot them as they approach repeatedly making them slowly and painfully realize it wasn't just luck

DIdnt engie use a soundalike in Expiration Date?

Just because spy is already lower tier doesn't mean you should make it worse.

With the "3" meme in TF#7, I'm fairly sure they are holding back the last comic for a big event related to their other games. A tf2 update would also be nice.
But I don't have high hopes

Not really user

I can still headshot, body shot, and then taunt on snipers. That's all I ask.

Why are they all so small? Average should be 6.5 even if it isn't correct, at the very least 6.

In most practical cases its like a disjointed backstab on weakened enemies that you aren't following close enough to stab.
Not terrible actually, but people don't know its current utility so they say its trash.

Team Fortress 2 Battle Royal coming this year! :^)

>join serb
>donator has a self-reparing mobile minisentry
I don't miss that.

>degroot keep
>guy named interp 99999 joins
>spy
>900+ ping
>starts stabbing people 10m away from him
>literally has a death aura that you can't step into or you'll get backstabbed even if you're looking straight at him

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Soldier and Demoman are still friends.
youtube.com/watch?v=PA8e_D730Pw

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You've been watching too much pornography my man.

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people saying you can swap for cinematic models don't realize it removes the lipsync and emoting in game

From the wiki
>Note: as of testing these cvars and using "developer 2" to print loaded models to the console, these cvars appear not to work anymore. Instead, the game always loads non-hwm models now (as of 3/15/14).

What even is the point of cheating anyways

Meet the medic is almost 10 years old

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post your luck

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>heavy bumps into disguised spy while soldier just falls through the broken door

And the game is still kicking. If anything, it makes me happy that I could play through TF2's "golden age".

The key to have your dick look big is unironically to get fit, and that's the case of all the mercs

>raffles

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What the fuck is going on in EU servers
Hackers and bots in EVERY SINGLE match, not even exaggerating

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Russian kiddies
They usually get kicked relatively fast

This is why I can't get back into the game. Those times are gone and they arenct coming back.

Funnily, I feel the same about Warcraft III and Starcraft.
Be happy it happened, lad.

Even though I've seen this, I love it.
I doubt any multiplayer game will ever have trailers as great as these.

I love TF2 so much.

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Remember when betatesters has lost in the caves in half life 2 episode 2

And no matter how much Valve screws it up, it'll never undo the love and care and attention to detail that the trailers had, and the base gameplay too. From how they made silhouettes unique (which made characters recognizable from a distance no matter how many cosmetics they had on) to how they made the voice acting play a role in gameplay (IE hearing a drunken scot meant that the hallway ahead is gonna be stickied to high hell).

They just don't make them like they used to.

>tfw you get as crit as demo with the axe as a prisoner in jailbreak

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You already has one high dps melee only weapon

I cant rocket jump and hit people in the face with a shovel i loved the hamster fuck because he sorta did that but its not the same

Are people still interested in SFM stuff nowadays?
I haven't done shit in years aside from practicing animation inside of SFM every now and then during free time or when I was super bored. I feel like maybe making something in it again but I don't know if there's still any appeal left to it anymore.
Are people still interested in the random humor type of thing? Are people still interested in some sort of TF2 shorts? I just feel like probably the good times of animations both in GMOD and SFM just kind of died now.

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I prefer my DMing not to boil down to who presses Q first.

Why are we still here?
Just to suffer?
Every night, I get backstabbed, and headshot, even walked at by pyros, the ubers I've dropped, The comrades I've lost . . . won't stop hurting, it's like they're all still there, you feel it too don't you? I'm gonna make them give back our past!

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>animations both in GMOD and SFM just kind of died now.
because we all grew up. but go for it if it makes you happy. don't just do stuff because its "in".

Probably pretty spoopy for jews.

It’s easy to hate on playtesters until you actually go through it yourself.

I’ve played on modded MvM that randomly makes some of the players blue. When you’re in the middle of a firefight making flash decisions on where to aim and shoot, you will make mistakes because of color confusion and it does get annoying fast.

Valve
Motherfuckin'
Playtesters

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Yeah, because the early Episode Two caves were so complicated and hard to navigate that the level designers themselves were getting lost.

Yup, Troy Baker filled in. Also did the screaming and yelling for Soldier in Expiration Date since Rick May wasn't able to anymore.

What, you mean for the people who can't comprehend Euclidean space?

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My mistake. I don't know why I fucking said Troy Baker. It's Nolan North that does the voice for Engineer and fills in for the screaming for Soldier (plus a lot of the characters like Merasmus and the Mann brothers)

>he doesn't like free money, as in, literally, FREE MONEY

>wasn't able to anymore
That's kinda depressing

>be too old to yell and scream
>still attached enough to your character that you voice "I TELEPORTED BREAD"

bros...
why is the only spy longcoat that doesn't make his legs look like spaghetti noodles not in the game bros...

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WHAT THE FUCK

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He doesn't cut himself, right? The blunt side would still hurt

Every class's silhouette is cartoony and non realistic. look at heavy for example he's the most egregious example.

It might be startling at first if you thought you did cut yourself, but I doubt it'd hurt very much and spy would know better anyway.

>it’s a Yea Forums knows game design better than Valve does episode
You supposedly hardcore TF2 fans sure seem to not remember Valve’s talks and commentary on the TF2 art direction and how important color is to game design.

When you’re under pressure, you will make split second decisions based on color, and this will lead to mistakes in aiming that get really annoying really fast.

Playtesters weren’t ignoring robots to try to kill each other thinking this was a regular game mode, they were getting distracted by seeing “enemy colors” while fighting robots, causing frustration.

imagine how much time you spent participating in 725 fucking raffles
>inb4 free
costs time

i know
it's just that chicago overcoat is the only longcoat that's actually in the game and it looks like aids
i just want a cool one

Couldn't this whole thing be avoided by making the robots yellow or something?

they could, but that decision required double digit IQ and nobody at valve is that smart

You still have this reflex from BLU vs RED matches to attack the guys with the wrong shirts.

The original robots were gray.

Having a prominent third color still doesn’t solve the problem of being distracted by enemy color the entire rest of the game trains you to target.

But user...
NOBODY EXPECTS THE YELLOW TEAM!

Gaben comes to you in a vision and presents two opportunities, only one of which shall be realized within the next year;

>the comic is finally concluded
>Heavy update will be released

Which do you choose?

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Comic

>Match near the end
>Doing well
>Amazing teamwork
>"You are now attacking"

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Comic.
Fuck heavy.

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Comic. The game is basically dead for me but I can still read and enjoy that.

Whaddya got against sandwhich man?

Comic. We were actually promised a comic. We were never promised a second Heavy update; in fact we were outright told that we would not get one (but dumb community didn’t believe it).

>Team Blu is nothing but Pyros, Snipers and one Engi trying his hardest to even build a sentry without getting harassed by Demomen

>Match near the end
>Doing well
>Amazing teamwork
>The teams are unbalanced. You will be autobalanced in five seconds.

He got the only usable weapon in what was supposed to be pyro's update.

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>have a tight mg battle with some direct hit soldier going.
>"you are now on team blu."

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Pyro main here. The jetpack and the glove are pretty fun

>We were never promised a second Heavy update; in fact we were outright told that we would not get one
That's where you're wrong!
teamfortress.com/post.php?id=22675

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You'd be surprised how good for a quick laugh it is to have a friend kritz you with a hot hand and just see what happens.

i do not give a fuck about the comic

He's just... boring to play
The optimal heavy depends too much on his team to reach full efficiency. He needs (in order of importance)
>a medic to pocket him
>a pyro to keep spies and flanking classes in check, and also to deflect spam
>a flanking pyro/scout/spy to weaken the opponent (conversely, flanking classes benefit a lot from the big push and pressure of a heavy)
>some engi or soldier to boost his speed

With any of that, heavy is invincible. Unfortunatly, those don't happen in pubs and you can pubstomp with much less teamwork or coordination anyways.
Heavy individually doesn't have anything that makes you want to keep playing him and keep practising him. He's a good pubstomper that gets his ass handled to him by a half-decent spy.

>Payload mode
>Cart approaching the last checkpoint
>Team going on full force because the other is completely incompetent
>Backstabbed
>"YOU ARE NOW ON TEAM BLU"

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>The road to peace and tranquility will be an hard one. If I ever achieve it. I will try my best. Can't give up now even i don't know how to rise.
I'm gonna save that shit in the valhalla user

>and that feeling only gets worse.
Not entirely true. I was on the same boat until I started taking meds

shut the fuck up fag

i dont consider anything as fully canon, its more like its alluding to a main idea, when you try and make sense of it it still doesnt, the many same mercenaries killing the same many mercenaries would be troubling, hence why i just collide the main ideas into the main storyline, without thinking of exactly whos on what side and why and many other inconsistencies due to the game´s nature

I think whether he's 'boring' or not depends on the type of player you are. Personally I enjoy him immensely, but I don't disagree with your points. I hit the skill ceiling with him ages ago and have nothing left to master. Which is why I hope the Heavy update (if we ever get one) brings about some much needed variety in his gameplay

Heavy update. Reading is for nerds.

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I think Gaben was probably given a deadline by his doctor around 2010-2012. He would decide to use his remaining years with his family and occupying himself with projects he actually enjoys. And without him leading the ship, it has drifted terribly off course. Why do I think this is possible? Gabe Fat

>both of them might get new Class Updates at some point
>might
Not a promise

>tfw you get auto balanced 2 to 3 times in the same game

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It's deceptively fun to just run in with a quick fix and turn him into a decent damage sponge due to the heal rate.
Technically any medigun is good with him, but I've just loved the quickie for years.

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>imagine how much time you spent participating in 725 fucking raffles
Yeah opening up one tab and clicking "Enter Raffle" really eats up a lot of my free time while I'm browsing Yea Forums.

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Gabe has a big knife collection.

Miniguns are cool

Aye, shame only two of them are really worth using in the first place.

>minigun
>it's actually an auto shotgun

Heavy

I love the comic to death but fuck I just want content

Soldier killed tom jones tough

>The Fortnite skin is for the class thats a Child Man The missing link between man and child

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the rescue ranger does some good damage mid to long range though.
not to mention the iron bomber tier THUNK when it hits

>It's a "Team is doing well but is now allergic to the cart/cap for some reason" episode

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>The realization that the mercs are all one team in canon and they just split up and switch uniforms whenever they feel like it

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Cheater infested game. What the fuck happened

>When you encounter a cool player on the enemy team that duels you in some far corner of the map, ignoring the on going match
>Get autobalanced on one death
>Spend the last minutes taunting and being retarded together

now the game is in legacy mode we should put veteran community figures like uncle dane in charge of releasing balance patches

I'd say that this was reading too far into things if Sniper didn't also have a fucked up thumb nail from pinching it while reloading his rifle

>2019
>scout is a blond twink faggot
MR. BONES I WANT OFF OF YOUR RIDE!

That isn't true though, RED and BLU members of the same class have been in the same area in the comics.

Isn't it from the bolt slamming back on the SMG? That's only on the SFM models as well, a better example would be the cut on his cheek that was added in-game after Meet the Spy's release.

>2fort
>Teams are equally matched
>Nothing going on for mor than an hour
>RED Heavy starts to crawl around with his boxing gloves spamming the "help" command
>"HEEELP MEEEH" "HEEEELP NOOOOW"
>People from both teams join him
>Slowly, but surely both teams just stop caring completely and the thing just turns into a taunt/emote war

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speed bongos
rave.dj/FVrcaH6fLVNyWA

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That's a very silly thing to do.

>I suspect this man is the deadly enemy inside the base, better give him his weapon back.

Prove it, make a waifu appear in my room

I think he was counting on his armed teammates
not being dumb asses.

>Top scorer on other team gets balanced to our team
>"fuck matchmaking"
>"bro why'd you throw the match? we could have won"
EVERYONE CLAPPED

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>OI LADZ! DESE 'UMIE GITZ IZ DANCIN' N SINGIN' LOIK SUM POSH ELDAR
>WOTZ 'E SAYIN'
>'E SEZ WEZ SHULD STOP WIFF DA DAKKA N STOMPIN'
>DAT AIN'T PROPPA ORKY. GET DA CHOPPAZ BOYZ

>OI! DESE WUNZ DON'T LEAVE BEHIND NO TASTEE BITZ, JUS' SNAZZ ROKKZ
>SMASH EM UP BUT GUD, WEZ KANTZ EATZ ROKKS. MORK KNOWZ I AIN'T TRYIN' DAT AGAIN.

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Scout has always been a twink
>Yeah, I slapped my bum

I usually see "Friendlies" are free ubersaw hits but that's cute

>If Scream Fortress is the same contract shit as last year I'm gonna rip Gabe's dick off and send it to his ma
I don't mind the Halloween contracts, but the "Kill 6 players with Pumpkin bombs" bonus can die in a pit. Especially on Sinshine.

>it's another "retard screaming at the team to get on the cart while there are five REDs firing on it, as well as a Lv3 sentry" episode

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I fucking hate this shit, man.
I kid you not, I went to a x10 server the other night with a friend cause I just felt like goofing around with overpowered weapons, and then this other fucking guy starts floating around with the server's broken taunts command, at first I thought he was just getting too distracted by it so I went for the kill a few times just to capitalize on his poor attention to his surroundings.
Then the guy immediately calls me a "Tryhard" just for playing the game, and tells me to go wreck other's fun on a casual server, forgetting that x10 is anything BUT competitive, seriously... why do you go HERE of all places to be friendly?
I still acted 'mostly' polite because I didn't wanna make a scene but it was just frustrating to watch, especially when everyone else gave up playing the game soon after to be like him. For people claiming to be "friendly" it does not take much to send them in a seething rampage at all.
Unironically Fuck Friendlies.

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>next update has multi day reveals again
that shit is fun, even if the update turns out shit.

yes 725 times
im sure it only took a few minutes :)

>when you destroy the sentry nest just right

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It really depends on the case

>when you land ON the sentry and melee it to death while the Engie shits himself spazzing out

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>going around the sentry meleeing it
>engie is trying to repair it
>flick upwards a bit and instantly crit him on the head

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We had a team of like 8 engies on Turbine who just set up a literal wall of Sentries near the intel room and it took literally everything the other team had just to finally break it. Even if they ubered, all the sentry power would just pin them against the wall or ceiling, we dubbed it "The Great Wall of Texas"

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UGLEH

i really don't understand why those friendly autists get so riled up about being killed in a game about killing

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It's just more so hilarious watching them go from supposedly "friendly" to the exact opposite at the snap of a finger. A real friendly would just say nothing no matter how many times he gets picked off when you think about it.

Fuck, this post just reminded me of that classic video of the trap server someone made post-major update that was nothing but a wall (and ceiling) of sentries above the spawn areas whilst the room pulsated to a loop of Gangster Paradise and a portrait of Uncle Phil overlooked the scene

Did it get deleted? I can't recall the exact name but none of the keywords seem to find it. Fucking sad day if that record of a different time is gone...

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it became free

Oh thank fuck, someone managed to archive and reupload it. The original is gone though (RIP)

youtube.com/watch?v=pjTLoc6pOR0

Idiot

>shit that never happened

>don't wear costmetics because I'm not a fag
>medics won't heal me and the enemy team thinks I'm hacking

Tf2 has been full of autistic retards for years now. How have you not known this?

>change org petition

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>achievement servers
That was literally my Jam back in 2009-2010.
A lot of the maps were designed in such a way that they made for good hangout spots to just chill and even listen to micspammers sometimes, it truly was a different era.
youtu.be/rYt_bHVK_AQ
youtu.be/vQBHCdWm7Ak

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Remember when they had the gall to delay the jungle update by a week? I'm pretty sure they didn't even start working on it til after the deadline had passed.

i am 27 and im on the same boat.

i hope we all make it.

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you're thinking of sniper
spy is voiced by dennis bateman, who, for the record, has also voiced a dota hero, but that was way back in like 2012

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maybe with pictures like that, some of us will

the source is balak. have unf

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Will have to keep that in mind for later.

What the hell? I remember watching this in like 2015

>Billy Mays
>Youtube Poops
>Leonidas

Checks out

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>tfw still remember the night Meet the Spy was leaked
Shit feels like it was only last month.

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To me, 2008 to 2010 will always be the best era of TF2.
I miss those 3 years so much.

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>ywn go back to that era

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This was just last night nigger

>2008 to 2010
>3 years

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>you will never go back to the Wild West days of the internet in general

Still grateful I got to experience it all before it became what it is now

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1 year for 2008, another one for 2009, and then a third for 2010.
It's not like he just started at the end of 2008.

>Not understanding basic math

Yeah I malfunctioned for a sec.

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>frogposter
>retard
>faggot
If these are the people leaving tf2 then maybe there is a chance the game is saved

me too bro, me too..
all these glitches and bugs to piss off your teammates
best time of my life