This woman walks up to you and says "I like you and I want you...

This woman walks up to you and says "I like you and I want you. Now we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way. The choice is yours."

What's your exit strategy?

Attached: Manuela.png (1200x1200, 996K)

Other urls found in this thread:

rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=3369222
youtube.com/watch?v=-W2KBFYxvlY
youtube.com/watch?v=n9WClv4U5B8
youtube.com/watch?v=srYgfn12S08
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I wanna fuck mommy

we do it the easy way and I fuck the shit out of her right then and there. Then I ignore her and go romance other cuties cause I'm a slut and there's not one thing any of you can do to stop me.

Attached: 1537175940115.jpg (10000x10000, 1.76M)

>exit strategy
Ha, good one

Hard way sounds funner.

w... what's she gonna do with that wand?

Attached: sweating_OH_LAWD.png (637x376, 241K)

None because i'm a COOMER, just like you

Unlike Sylvain, I'm not exactly a chick magnet so I'll take what I can fucking get.

>Free, decent, pussy
>"What's your exit strategy?"
You must be a dilator. Gtfo.

Start talking about crests, flee when I see her room.

Exit strategy? I assume the "hard way" is probably some demented, fucked up fetish shit that I won't enjoy, so let's go with the easy way and just fuck the shit out of her the regular way. Missionary for the purposes of procreation.

Impregnate and raise a happy family!

>my booty is mine, it belongs to me, you cannot take my booty

>t. Chris Handsome

I made her my sex slave and then marry one of the younger maides.

>exit
fagget

Cum in my pants.

Yeah, attractive AND lonely mature lady, very believable.

Attached: EAfvuIpXoAAcbX1.jpg (1756x1611, 207K)

Kick her in the clams

>exit

Attached: Oldwomenarefor_______.jpg (316x686, 131K)

It is believable because she is actually emotionally broken and exudes no feminine traits aside from her physical beauty

She is a rude, disgusting slob with huge knockers who constantly gets treated like it; used and tossed aside

Have you seen her room, my dude?

Sounds like most married women.

What is her field of teaching?

>used
She doesnt even get laid, most men bounce over drinks.

I call up my bodyguard

Attached: catherine.png (1920x1080, 1.97M)

>My room looks like hers
It's okay, I guess. I'll take what I can get

>exudes no feminine traits aside from her physical beauty
>She is a rude, disgusting slob with huge knockers who constantly gets treated like it
Those are supposed to be bad things?

Attached: Expand_Dong.png (500x281, 240K)

I wake up.

Turn 360• and walk away

Why exit when I can enter

Bend over

>exit strategy
i will go full prison mentality on her.
rape her before she rapes me.

>Planning my wedding ceremony with Annette
>come across Manuela in the cathedral praying that she won't be alone for the rest of her life

Bros...

Attached: warsman gif.gif (348x261, 1.31M)

Tell her that I'm already spoken for

Attached: Dorothea_Portrait.png (1200x1200, 864K)

My wife Ingrid won't allow me to fuck anyone except her.

she looks like she fucks shotas

Preeeeetty sure Dorothea would be more then willing to invite her into the bedroom

Attached: ve90zdt28cb11.jpg (644x482, 31K)

Her titties are too small

Send someone else her way. You're not the only one that can fuck her.

Hit and run

Mating press. If possible, Amazon press.

You mean entry strategy?

tell her that i don't think she and i will be doing anything any kind of way

I'd tell her to take out her tits, get on her knees, and start sucking my dick.

I'm the main character and everyone loves me so I'll just fuck her and anyone else I want with no negative consequences.

Stick up my ass

I'll take whatever way involves kissing her feet

IMAGINE marrying this emotional trainwreck of a woman who just wants someone to love her and has some of the happiest endings in the game? Because I did

Attached: 1566141771086.gif (966x836, 948K)

SMOKE BOMB

"O-oh, okay. I see you choosing the hard way."
How do you respond?

through the backdoor

Attached: Manuela.png (234x320, 94K)

Source?

More

Go to the bathroom.

Attached: 47.jpg (458x438, 37K)

Sorry I'd rather marry this emotional trainwreck of a man who just wants someone to love him and has some of the happiest endings in the game

Attached: 1565475349936.jpg (1280x720, 73K)

Bad move. You're not going to ignore her, she's going to hound you for every waking moment of your life. You may think she's just sexually frustrated and will be satisfied with just a dicking, but her clock is ticking, and she's not going to be satisfied until she has a baby inside her and she's bleeding you for every penny you're worth. This is the kind of bitch that will take your used condoms out of the trash and try to inseminate herself.

source or i scream loud

you'd just be acing where you started retard

I want to fuck Manuela's smelly pussy.

Underrated, Catherine S rank was cute as fuck.

If you wish to have the source then you must answer my riddle:
I spin a web that is never woven
I am an artist but also an industrialist
my actions are a mystery to those who adore me
It has been long since I practiced my craft
Who am I?

Attached: Manuela2.png (516x469, 260K)

I really wasnt expecting Manuela to have children due to almost being 40, but even she delivers there in her ending.

Attached: tumblr_pvu1dqRoMW1sajnkgo4_540.jpg (540x624, 60K)

A fucking faggot, post the link already

there is none.

Hire a better artist.

well if you're going to act like that then you'll get no source

I cut the cake

Attached: 1566590670459.png (1280x720, 1.12M)

Jelly Jiggler?

>got fe3h yesterday
>ohai these are some nice cuties
>oh god what the fuck is this support conversation
Just let me make my harem so I can protect the cuties and give them the fairy tale ending they want.
I just wanna hug Bernadetta.

A spider

rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post&s=view&id=3369222

Do five seconds of looking on r34.

lmao

The sphinx you retard

Fucktoy?

DELETE THIS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

>exit strategy
excuse me?

Attached: 1539222725525.jpg (1384x640, 45K)

Source?

I tell her that I want to fill Annette's tummy tummy tum with my cummy cummy cum and leave while she's breaking down into tears for choosing someone much younger than her.

Attached: rROW_wUR.png (512x512, 151K)

Well that changes things

Attached: 99078ce7f48a311378a8cb67ea4db04e.jpg (1000x1186, 105K)

Oh, it's an enter strategy that I'll be working on

Attached: carlos.png (350x350, 138K)

AAAAAAAAAAAA JUST USE RULE 34 YOU RETARDS

What the FUCK is this user??

Attached: 1552961220596.jpg (603x603, 174K)

Attached: 1566386969161.png (512x512, 125K)

Attached: source.gif (305x240, 340K)

i say "okay time out, this isn't working." then i attempt to get someone else's attention and ask them to get this girl out of here.

I want tomboy wife so bad bros...

Attached: DtrGgrPV4AAd1t3.jpg (576x1024, 43K)

sauce
ples

Tell her that my wife Marianne wouldn't appreciate that.

You will always be second to Rhea

You can't be this new right?

Turn 360° and walk away

I haven't played this game but I get the impression this chick is best girl. Is she?

why, my peenus weanus of course :)

hahah! :D

it's my weeeeeenus peanus! :) hahah

ITT: My exit strategy - my answer is, of course, my peanus weenus :D

hahaha!

This, Manuela is for anal only

Imagine scrolling past the mommies in favor of tomboys

Tell her that my teddy bear wife smells better

Attached: bernie2.jpg (462x458, 38K)

Not unless you like cake.

>Not unless you like cake.
Like it's my bday every day

Givr her the hard way non stop.

She's a wreck and a slob, but also has sweet supports and all her endings where she gets married are heartwarming. Pretty good unit, too.

Sorry, these two emotion train wrecks of people who just want someone to love them and have some of the happiest endings in the game should marry each other

Attached: Edelgard and dimitri.png (640x360, 330K)

Not really. She's typical older woman desperate for love

Cakes are awesome, it made P5 amazing.
Kinda like chicks in these sorts of games where they don't try and make her super likable the entire time

Close, but that's Edelgard

Attached: 1511407077818.png (371x438, 27K)

>not marrying both of them
Don't be a faggot

Dimitri be on thot patrol

I was referring to Manuela, not Edelgard. I just like posting the chibi Edels.

Milfs are good... not as good as tomboys though

Attached: 1563475136829.gif (500x730, 447K)

How did the chibi Edel even come into existence? What dark ritual did someone do to create such a horrifying beast?

Love you

immediately cum my pants & whimper "im finished"

They're like the exact opposites.

Whoever they are, I hope they keep performing said ritual.

She's so dirty

Clean up your room and you wouldn't be lonely.

Anal is overrated, requires so much set up and has higher risk of stds

>not wanting to marry a milf tomboy
Sad

? how so...?

How? Hell you can have a milf tomboy. The milf distinguisher doesn't necessarily conflict with the tomboy one.

You dont want to bury your head in her two-week old pile of unwashed clothes like an ostrich?
Plus you cant knock her up through anal

youtube.com/watch?v=-W2KBFYxvlY

i feel like those should theoretically exist, but i'm not sure if they actually could

i need more data

Attached: 1446840224871.jpg (460x578, 142K)

There is no purer and greater love than that between father and son

Exactly why she is perfect for anal

based

Attached: 1566862244485.png (1280x1085, 817K)

not if she's dead

Did anybody screenshot the post that got trips of Jeralt fucking Rhea talking about the birds and bees

Attached: 1544150590657.png (288x307, 146K)

:)

Attached: HM3u3Cuh.jpg (720x720, 43K)

No! Her womb, while a bit dusty, is still fertile

Besides Manuela and Marianne who else has a hairy bush?

Bernie

POST YFW Lock the door.

Attached: 1526089283248.gif (367x265, 565K)

Catherine

That doujin where Midoria fucks her was awesome, and I normally hate /ss/

Rhea

>exit strategy
I'm not pulling out, chief.

>no one will actually say those words to you

Attached: 1544388294576.jpg (611x419, 31K)

Pathetic.

Are you ready for the canon DLC route where the houses unite and using the power of friendship defeat the Church and also probably dragons/demons?

if you want to fuck manuela that means you'd fuck edna krabappel too, have some standards

>Manuela will never force you to give oral to her unwashed, sweaty, hairy pussy
Why even live?

Attached: 1565755337279.jpg (429x1047, 52K)

>implying the slithers wouldnt be the main villains

Those are my standards

Never say never user.
youtube.com/watch?v=n9WClv4U5B8

Shout "DON'T MAKE ME RUIN THAT BUTT. I-I'M A WARRIOR!" and then rip ther dress apart and pound her anus.

>he would not fuck Edna

>ywn be a poor performing student in Manuela's class and be forced to let her suck you off in exchange for extra credit to just barely pass

The only doujins i've ever seen of her are with Midoria lol

Yes only so I can protect Dimitri's smile

Attached: 1566604543731.jpg (1190x803, 164K)

Attached: FE802575-369F-4D13-825B-FD61BF75C831.jpg (1288x1368, 117K)

Good lad.
If I wanted to floss my teeth I would use dental floss.

literal cringe

wait whats the answer I don't care about the source

Sex with Leonie involves her screaming Jeralt's name instead of yours

more like strategy to put it in her exit

Petra of course. She's an unwashed savage.

Attached: 158.png (447x378, 11K)

What a fag

Yes, and?

Attached: 1439873762224.png (304x328, 196K)

Rhea

I happily fucked a 37 year old just a few days ago, she's probably 27 or something but is considered to be middle aged because of Japan.

Attached: EDdl7ZfXkAEZByv.png (728x883, 415K)

>just finished the Battle of Eagle and Lion on BL route but basically the plot just seems to be about a young man getting the onset of schizophrenia while also suffering from severe autism

I don't want another shitty Claude power of friendship speech

>You can't marry the villain in this game

Aversa is godtier. Delicious, brown, sister, seductress that you fucked into being on the side of good.

Attached: Aversa_%28FE13_Artwork%29.png (1080x1836, 1.13M)

Attached: 1505046311526.jpg (583x730, 157K)

>fucked a Jap housewife
Please explain

Great now i gotta go jack off again

Attached: 1564295419172.png (701x270, 125K)

but there's a whole route dedicated to you fucking edelgard as either gender

No homo bro
>he fell for the oldest scheme in the book
Go away Nemesis

it's a larp dumdum

Attached: 1458685053175.gif (200x157, 875K)

Based Aversa poster. She was actually well written in her male Robin support

Unpopular opinion: I want a happy end route.

Attached: 1557358958880.jpg (362x275, 22K)

>Umm, professor, maybe I'm imagining things but it looks like you keep trying to look up your students skirts. You're not, are you?

Attached: 1567416409340.png (512x512, 133K)

Based.

>tfw you can't fuck Cornelia's massive Cornelia's, thus purifying her onto the side of justice.

Attached: Beat_Cornelia_in_Fire-Emblem-Three-Houses.jpg (1115x596, 84K)

I am going to prevent a 5 year war and save thousands pf lives by making two step siblings fuck

Attached: 1566099137188.jpg (1400x1859, 417K)

Just yours.

No, just Manuela's.
Just wait for the DLC

IF YOUR WAIFU DOESN'T HAVE BYLETH IN THE S SUPPORT ROMANCE IMAGE ITSELF IT'S NON-CANON AND THEREFORE SHIT

I tell her to meet me upstairs with a pair of latex gloves, a handkerchief, and an icecube.

not actually an unpopular opinion
i agree, but my point still stands, don't fuck around with this overused shit

Attached: 1525143752768.jpg (400x397, 79K)

>Shamir, Catherine, Manuela, and Rhea all have Byleth in the frame
AGE
OF
CAKE

>hover hand

Attached: 1567521170813.png (512x512, 134K)

MILF gang rise up

Attached: 1509775534342.png (1024x1728, 1.44M)

>purifying her
Wasn't it implied that she was killed off and replaced by a Slither?

I want her to corrupt me onto the side of evil. Letting me pound away at her chest as she gives a sly smirk.

Should I use my last voucher on this or play any other old game for free? Have all on my 3ds right now

What a brainlet post

I mean it doesnt have to be Power of Friendship™, but i just want the lords to get along and love each other

Attached: 1546639508953.png (539x334, 336K)

Shamir's is the lewdest of all too.

A writer. Post sauce.

right here

N-nope, what ever would give you that crazy idea, haha

Attached: 1562936764926.png (520x554, 474K)

And then everyone gets nuked

If you had a father like Jeralt, you'd be horny for him too, don't deny it.

But the church is not even the bad guy in 3H, it's just Rhea being obsessed with her mommy and also the slithers being fucking assholes.

ALSO ENDINGS THAT DO NOT GIVE CHILDREN ARE NON-CANON TOO

Thanks user, but I mostly want to know if I got the answer right.

Want me for what?
I wouldn't want my first time to be meaningless sex with a stranger.

>Unpopular opinion
This golden route shit has been spammed in all 3H threads since release, shut the fuck up

Attached: 1567521471740.jpg (400x297, 12K)

based

Attached: 1338137177621.png (232x233, 74K)

She wants to marry you, user

Attached: 1555079203315.jpg (1125x1036, 664K)

>degenerate gamer
Pottery

youtube.com/watch?v=srYgfn12S08

Imagine not marrying best girl.

>all the greats pass down their crests to their children
>even the guy that managed to turn himself into a fucking crest beast had children
>yet this foxy grandpa never had children
How did Grug not pass down the Crest of Flames, did he have the big gay?

Attached: Fire_Emblem_Three_Houses_Nemesis_cinematic.png (1234x768, 604K)

>when you forget about the filter
cümbrain*

>desperate puritan
Pottery

the only ones who could fulfill his lust were dragons, and he killed all of them

>not wanting to fuck somebody you don't even know = desperate
Amazing logic there bro

>killing the things you want to have sex with
Sounds counterproductive to me

Why is it we can only have good Three Houses threads if the OP is about anyone besides the lords?

What did he mean by this?

Attached: 1846464934.png (1918x1080, 1.43M)

sex lol

Because when people see lords in the OP they go 'unga bunga me defend my route by shitting on other route'

Can you remedy that problem as Femlyth or by hooking him up with someone?

no one ever said he was intelligent

>those alien tier profiles
Fucking nips can't do anything right

>by hooking him up with someone

Attached: what.jpg (288x467, 25K)

Most of the doujins I've seen are of her getting fucking by random dudes

Why do the fanartists like to pretend that Dimitri's murderous anger towards Edelgard is anything other than 100% justifies?

I have no idea. I think the first time I saw it was next to the Dr. Pepper.

I've never gotten that impression, what artists are you looking at?

???
gamer

Seething lust and envy usually turns her into chubi form

Attached: aa4.jpg_orig.jpg (863x1200, 144K)

The golden route is when Nemesis has sex with Sothis

yes
thats how descendants work

Attached: 1548255450660.jpg (1602x2682, 309K)

Fuck I thought I could bypass the filter with cyryllic c and a

You think he'd realize after killing the first few dozen that 'hey maybe I should keep some alive to fug'. Then again maybe the reason Rhea wasn't killed was because he was planning to keep her as his cocksleeve but didn't think about how she might be butthurt about him killing her kind.

Isn't he over double her height?

>Sasuke trope
>tsundere
>kabedon
It's like they designed him specifically to make fujos cream

Attached: Rhajat.png (200x400, 184K)

IMAGINE

I dont think Sothis was always a loli, was she?

That's the best part

tfw Edelgard used to commission Bernie to draw art of Byleth for her. But then the requests began to get more and more degenerate until not even Bernie would draw them anymore. Not even the threat of death would persuade her. That is why Edelgard took up the brush.

How do I pull this shit off on women without me getting charged of sexual harassment?

Train your sharingan to trap them in tsukuyomi

>he doesn't know

Attached: 1329616231780.jpg (850x1041, 299K)

Yes actually cause i wanna know more about nabathea

Reminder that the feelings of anger and discord in these images are literally all Edelgard's fault.

BL, their route and their house members as a whole, are the most hardcore otome pandering shit this series has ever seen. It’s not a surprise they’re insanely popular with women

>exit strategy
are you gay? if mommy like that wants me, mommy like that can have me

Why does this amazing hunk have no lewds yet?

Stop posting Ch. 11 Dimitri

As long it gives me Sothis as leader fine.

Edelgard is bordering on Seth tier broken if you aren’t a dumbass and put her on a wyvern. Only unit that can probably compare is F!Byleth.


MULTI USE GALEFORCE AXE IS NOT OKAY

It really does feel like cheating using Claude once he unlocks Wyvern Master as well.

Putting anyone on a Wyvern makes them amazing

Claude doesn’t have bow range+ which is the only thing keeping him from being absurd, and even then Failnaught is 2-3 so it basically makes up the difference

Also by that point his weapon arts are usually enough for most enemies, otherwise Failnaught covers for when you need 2x attack with that range

Fuck her and marry her, fully knowing she's definitely going to flirt with and try to fuck every other guy she meets while we're married and jerking off to the idea.

Attached: fb282ed432488fcc18d7b8cdfdb2a8e54ea4d9dfc48f2ed20c54e55a75984fef.jpg (1280x720, 117K)

So my friend who loves Edelgard swore up and down that playing her route makes her likable and justified and shit but I just got to the scene where she talks to you after Jeralt's death and I think I genuinely hate this bitch. When the fuck does she get likable?

She's absolutely devoted to whoever she marries, unfortunately for you

THE BOOTY IS MINE
IT BEKINGS TO ME
YOU CANNOT HAVE
MY BOOTY

This is honestly so fucking hot. I really wish you could just enter Jeralt's quarters, lock the door behind you, and get properly railed by your daddy.

Blue Lions are the lords of edge. Between Dimitri, Felix, and Sylvain, I can't contain all this fucking edge.

Stop larping Lionfag.

Attached: __byleth_byleth_dimitri_alexandre_bladud_dorothea_arnault_and_edelgard_von_hresvelg_fire_emblem_thre (850x1133, 182K)

Stop posting, Leonie

10 minutes after the timeskip

So how old is Byleth

Attached: 1566856294159.png (297x332, 138K)

im gonna snap my fingers friend

have you considered inhaling cyanide gas?

21

20-21 before tineskip

21. Legal in all places

When can I get Dimitri and Analgard to fuck?

Never

Be good looking.

Game starts in 1180, year of death on mother's grave says 1159 and Jeralt says she died shortly after he/she's birth.
So 20/21 at the start of the game, depending on what birthday you entered. Older than I thought at first, figured they would be 17/18 like the students.

I'm Byleth and I want to serve as my father's cumrag!

I don't get it.

Worst ship you can make. Stop it with that shit. Edelgard doesn't love Dimitri anymore. And Dimitri doesn't love Edelgard anymore. Stop.

Attached: n1nmf4gf9by01.png (650x1050, 982K)

DLC

>Hook her up with Ferdinand
>she chucks him out of his position of prime minister and he becomes a househusband

How could this happen to my boy Ferdie!?

THATS MY PURSE. I DON’T KNOW YOU!

It’s not so much Edelgard doesn’t love him as much as she doesn’t fully remember living him. Remember, brain damage from the TWSITD experiments

This, Edelgard loves Sensei now in all routes

The noble standard
Forget it all user. This is a terrible ship.

This, fuck me he's hot. I want Grug to pin me down and fuck the crests out of me

>Hubey
>Manuela we killed Hubey
>remember when he used to give me tea in a completely hetero way?
>I miss those days

Sorry you don't have enough support ranks with me Manuela. You're going to have to buy me more lunches and take me to choir practice.

When is never? Within this year right?

Best ship, Dimitri can chill the fuck out in Edelgard's ice cold puss while me and Claude go bro over the moon or some shit.

But when?

> No Nemesis romance option for Byleth
Shit game

PART ONE

WHITE CLOUDS

AZURE MOON

DADDY'S CUMMIES

100% gay. El x Dimitri is bottom of the barrel tier.

Why does Byleth look like she is wondering what this autistic fucker is doing? This does not look romantic at all.

Got to the split off point in the black eagle route, which one is the proper route, and which one is the shorter one? Edelgard or Church?

Byleth canonically marries Leonie and they both scream Jeralt's name during sex.

>Byleth looks the fucking same after timeskip
Why couldn't they come up with anything?

Attached: Byleth.png (1000x1236, 761K)

Edelgard is the shorter route but they're both ass.

It is the only way to save all three houses. Edelgard and Dimitir must fuck. Imagine the children!

Byleth is autistic as well. But she's super cute

Attached: __byleth_byleth_and_edelgard_von_hresvelg_fire_emblem_three_houses_and_etc_drawn_by_dashingicecream_ (850x948, 168K)

Recreation of Nemesis with that Strength.
Still a shit pairing.

I wanted to mind break kronia with blyat god dick but koei hates fun

Church is longer but it has the same maps as GD. It all depends on whether you want to waifu Rhea or Edelgard.

>base 55 and base 60 strength growths
My eugenics boner approves

Attached: 1566018352794.jpg (734x767, 55K)

Attached: FE3H1.png (1280x720, 1.22M)

Behold, the image that summarizes why Dimitri/Edelgard would never happen even in a golden ending without being massively OOC
Shipperfags living in denial will never live vicariously through this failed childhood romance

>yuriniggers

But Felix drops his spaghettis around them?

Kinda funny that this is what her dad said to her

It is the best pairing, it saves lives and it makes two edgelords chill the fuck out at best and at worst, one of them is a sex slave to a frustrated broken asshole or a broken cunt.

Imagine eugenics program three.

Only if one or both of them are the sane version that you see on their routes. Crazy Dimitri and Evil Edelgard ruling Fodlan with fire and blood would be amazing. I don't want a golden route, I want them to pair up and make a bad end.

Doesn't mean he can't have an aneurysm when they're been saccharine

B-but my wizardly powers

What do the arrows above Support levels mean

She can teach you about magic
That there's two parts to that support

Attached: F1750FC2D14648F69C7F4E3672CDB4BB.png (1054x544, 802K)

Sorry, Flayn is my wife and I love her dearly.

Attached: Flayn_SRank.png (1920x1080, 1.53M)

Attached: flaynfish.jpg (526x589, 45K)

I wish it was possible to S support her as Fem Byleth. Make her call us Onee chan and cuck her brother out of being her favorite "nii San"

Depends, is she hot?

Attached: Tharja.jpg (675x1035, 439K)

I want to start a bee farm and train the bees to feed exclusively on Bernie's girl cum. I'd lure her into the greenhouse one day, I'd tell her a little white lie that I found one of the carnivorous plants that she so adores. She'd be hesitant, but her love of bug eating plants would coax her out of her room, into my trap. I'd stealthily lock the door behind us after making sure we were alone.

"Um, P-Professor? Where are the plants?" Bernie would ask nervously in that sweet, angelic voice. Before her paranoia could alert her that she had been betrayed, I would pounce on her, like a wolf upon a lamb. I would easily overpower her, stripping her of her clothes and leaving her immaculate form bare for the world to see. Quickly I would truss her up, forcing her legs apart, leaving her womanhood exposed and ripe to be plucked. Poor little Bernie's naughty little mind would jump to conclusions, and soon her labia would be sticky and wet with her nectar, her lower mouth salivating in anticipation of dastardly deeds to come. But oh, I would never defile my pure little Bernie, whose only protestations at this point would be cute little whimpers, too frightened to form any kind of coherent speech. I'd smile at her lovingly, a soothing smile to assure her that everything will be alright, that I would never ever hurt her. It is now that I would release the bees.

Going drinking with Manuela!
Outdrinking her until she's responseless!
Princess carrying her back to her room!
Holding her head out the window while she pukes on a Lysithea roaming around at night to prove ghosts aren't real!
Tucking her into bed on her side with a glass of water nearby!

Heading to Edelgard's room for a night raid while Hubert plays standby with lube and tissues!

Attached: 1566069024932.jpg (1282x1111, 107K)

>you will never marry Bernie, give her a happy life, and exile her father like she asks you to
Why live?

Attached: D7q3As_UYAEMmZw.jpg (1030x1388, 214K)

I am shocked that Leonie isn't gay for Fem Byleth.

Bernie would shriek, both in terror and bewilderment as the bees swarm toward her and her love juices. "P-Professor! Please! The bees!" she would cry. "Now now," I'd whisper softly in her ear, "you must be still." I wouldn't want sweet little Bernie to be stung, to have her perfect porcelain skin marred by voracious insects. Sweet little Bernie is a good girl, so she'd follow my instruction and stay perfectly still, save for the occasional cute little shudder or quiver as the bees crawled all over her little body and tickled her in naughty places. Maybe one of the bees would get frisky and give Bernie a cute little sting, and we'd be rewarded with a cute little yelp as Bernie does her best to stifle her voice and ignore the pain. Sweet little salty tears would roll down her face, but the bees would ignore those. The bees would be far too preoccupied, as they feast and gorge on the nectar from Bernie's sweet little honeypot, which would flow and flow and flow.

Now this is autism.

Attached: 6041e35c-3fa7-4b76-8824-17a92e146770.jpg (449x750, 56K)

Eventually the bees would finish, their little bee bellies full to the brim with Bernie's juices, and they would return to their hive. I would release poor little traumatized Bernie from her bondage and escort her back to her room, where she would stay like a good little girl, never to utter a word of our greenhouse tryst to anyone else in the monastery. Now the wait would begin.

Finally, after weeks of anticipation, it would be ready. I would return to the bee hive, and unable to contain myself, I would stick my hand in and sample the sweet honey. The sheer euphoria would be so overwhelming, the taste alone would bring me to orgasm. I am certain that at this moment, I would resolve to live like Winnie the Pooh, and eat nothing but honey for the rest of my days. Once I'm able to collect myself, I would collect the honey, every lost drop and dreg. Oh there would be quite the harvest, more than enough to sate me for weeks to come. But I wouldn't share. I'm a greedy bear. I would keep Bernadetta's sweet cunny honey all to myself.

Manuelaposters have shit taste. Only Camilla is true mommy.

Are the bees trans?

I wanted to fuck her because she reminded me of Morgan.

Well. She doesn't have a lance. And she wanted Jeralt soooo..

Having prepared for this moment by pumping roughly 14 cubic feet of helium up my urethra with a specialized catheter, I drop my pants to reveal my phallus, helpfully adorned to look like a circus elephant.

I then begin to dickfart loudly, with the kind of low, resonating barotone that could easily be mistaken as one of the trumpets of revelation. Unfortunately, what this heralds is so much more worse. After the initial two minute blast of meatus flatulence, I begin to dickfart "Simple and Clean", using a well-lubed slide whistle lodged in my dickhole to hit the high notes.

Behind me, an aghast Sora and Kairi commit ritual suicide via Tanto, with Goofy serving as their second, mercifully beheading them. The horrors have only just begun, however.

Innocent blood now shed by innocent hands, the contract I made with Satan, Mara, and Pee-Wee Herman is complete. As the final notes of the suicide inducing song finish, I quofe with all my might, and the legions of hell begin to invade this world through my dickhole. I begin to sing "If you're happy and you know it" for the ironic factor.

As the first legion of ten thousand aborted fetuses crawls its way out of Perdition via my Peehole, they gather into a chorus circling Manuela, each reciting a different sin she has done or a good she neglected to do- while their hideous voices devoid of the love of God echo like a maddening cacophony, Manuela can hear each accusation perfectly in all it's horrible wheezing, yes, even over the escort of the black cloud of flies that precedes and follows Beelzebub as he exits, with great difficulty, from my widened but not quite accommodating member.

Children in nearby towns begin to dance in blasphemous geometric patterns and sing songs never meant to be heard by men. Churches to any deities of good, mercy, or order crumble into a sludge that smells like manure. As the last denizen of the 666 layers of hell exits my gaping cockhole, the sun begins to darken to a blood red.

Attached: thejokerrossy.jpg (800x600, 37K)

All Rhea has to do is tell Edelgard the truth about crests and how she secretly hates them and then she and Edelgard will be best friends

Attached: 1565907381881.jpg (1248x1100, 250K)

Please stop

Celica is best FE girl, period. No discussion, no debate, it was settled when she came.

Attached: 359b1d3e917da32aa257add532389d8e.png (1400x2373, 847K)

>Originally going for Leonnie because cute tomboy.
>Something takes hold of me and I wind up going for Dorothea instead.

Attached: 1561527311768.jpg (430x430, 47K)

The fate of this world is sealed. My blasphemous bursts have called forth the end of all ends. Nothing good or wholesome will ever grow from any field on this tainted earth, nor will any prayer reach the ears of any good god, who all have by now turned away in horror at the atrocity I have wrought.

If she's not turned off by that, I invite her on a date to see if she's DTF. You don't wanna rush these things, after all.

It's probably that you were feeling like a cuck when she only ever talked about your dad.

Attached: 1567357456318.jpg (1951x2015, 371K)

It's the hat

“Piss off, you bloody harlot”

Why can't Dimitri stop being a Chad?

I JUST LEARNED AFTER 170 HOURS THAT YOU CAN SELL STUFF FROM THE STOREHOUSE
FUCK

I've never played any fire emblems. Is this stuttering gutter skank the obligatory "if you like this character, you're a mentally ill otaku" waifu bait?

I just learned on my second play that you can heal during the little tournaments.

Cakes are for eating, not cutting

Attached: 1566374806774.jpg (900x476, 75K)

Felix called, he's better at this then you.

Attached: felix versus sylvain.jpg (1280x720, 158K)

You can WHAT

Sort of. She's not as awful in game actually but her and the depressed girl attract alot of autists. You can tell who the major autists are since they will complain the two of them have actual development and try to work toward their issues. Basically a case of a character's fanbase being much worse then the character is.

Why does she look like she fucks black guys in all her art?

Yes, she's the meme waifu

You have two heals during the tournament, next one after a match, look down and X should be a heal prompt.

As sharp as his blade. While Sylvain was engaging in pre marital sex, Felix was studying the blade.

no need, I'll impregnate her directly

This and the knights not changing in five years bothers me greatly. Shamir went from 25 to 30 and looks the exact same. Alois should have some gray in his hair or something at least.

>anymore

OH NO NO NO THAT MEANS SHE LOVED HIM IN THE PAST WTF BROS NTR EMBLEM

Alm is my nigga, he gets honorary hood status.

Attached: __alm_celica_clair_effie_grey_and_others_fire_emblem_and_fire_emblem_echoes_mou_hitori_no_eiyuuou_dr (2350x1140, 1.46M)

>Felix and Lys have a great support chain
>They also have one of the saddest paired endings in the game
Felix you autist stop practicing the sword and save your wife

Attached: 1567100232201.png (560x464, 252K)

She loved him when he was a cute girl.

Sounds more like you’re obsessed about something

What determines the fucking endings? BL route I had Felix and Mercedes set and Dimitri and Ingrid set but instead I got Felix X Ingrid and Dimitri X Dedue?

>99% of Byleth/Edelgard porn and lewd art is lesbo shit

Attached: 1563931058250.jpg (960x640, 153K)

Don’t get me wrong. I just want to be only black guy she sleeps with.

Dimitri has no time for people who shit talk his main man

Attached: 1565709368544.jpg (900x862, 76K)

Stay mad

Attached: __byleth_byleth_and_edelgard_von_hresvelg_fire_emblem_three_houses_and_etc_drawn_by_clovisxvii__samp (850x1116, 189K)

I recognize that feel.

Attached: 1.jpg (1280x546, 187K)

oh this will be hard alright
can she do some dom work?

I laughed.

Marianne is popular because of her character arc and the dark subject matter of her support and because she actually changes inbetween part 1 and 2. Her suffering is always played straight as something awful. Bernie is popular because of her funny memes and playing a Japanese hikkimori archetype in a game where that is anachronistically out there. Her suffering is played accompanied with a laugh track. Please don't compare them.

Not that simple, the real bad guy is Byleth. When he/she sits on the throne, Sothis recalls her memories. She was a degrading dragon like Anankos and wants to subjugate all of mankind. So when Byleth sits on the throne, he/she is possessed and becomes the antagonist for the 3 houses to fight.
This explains why Nemesis is the "king of Liberation" because he saved mankind from the dragons.

Attached: nemesiss.png (256x256, 53K)

I'm not listening to your fanfiction, Agarthans.

Fighting all three lords at max power would be hype
Hegemon Edelgard teaming up with a fully nuclear boar and Claude with MOTHERFUCKING HOLST

Pretty based not gonna lie

What did she meant by this?

Attached: This is the Ass of Annette.jpg (696x1064, 78K)

Marianne is also high on the recruit list since people just cant bear seeing her riding off alone toward the sun with a noose in mind

Attached: C22256F5-5C03-47DF-84A8-3D35119658E0.png (500x483, 303K)

fucking kek

That's the Blue Lions route.

Exit strategy? I'd mating press her till my balls were empty m8

Celica is a fucking retard

You know I like the game but I hate clicking on these threads due to the dumb reasons people hate 'x' or 'y' character.

So is there any real benefit to tournament aside from some free seal, a meager amount of money and not-so-crappy weapons?

Basically this

The Blue Lion's route is full of smiles

Attached: 1566590670460.png (960x540, 459K)

I really, really do not like this image

She's high on the recruit list for me because she's by far the best melee mage.
She has the highest RES for someone with access to Soulblade, as well as a kino relic.
Give her a killing edge and she does like 60+ damage with soulblade with a 35% chance to crit. it's absurd.

Being fit and good looking makes most things forgivable

Kys cuck

>try to run
>she pins you with magic
>forces you to smell her feet until you're mind broken
>become her foot slave and devoted husband
best ending desu

>Absorbs the power, heart and mind of a literal god
>Surprised they become ageless

As much as I like Sylvain, I have to support my fellow autist Felix.

the young cock is for the old cunt
the old cunt is for the young cock

Byleth is a frog faced smoothbrain

Fuck her into submission, I've played enough porn games to know how this works

Then why isn't she a loli/shota?

i immediately kill myself on the spot

Fuck off Lorenz

I'm hoping her legs are strong enough for a leg lock so I won't have to consider an exit strategy ;^)

>Incredible magic swordsman
>Great selection of high crit black magic
>Silence and Psychic for support
>Can stack personal ability and bishop ability for big regen
>Best character development
>Best Paralogue for lore
>Cutest Goddess Tower and S Rank
>Cutest and most well earned smile in the game


Yes, I am thinking Marianne is the best girl in the game.

The easy way better involve you keeping a pic related costume around, cuz I'm NOT driving home to get mine in this weather.

Attached: Peanut_HD.png (488x488, 52K)

>t. never met a cougar
There are plenty of older women, who, in the years leading up to menopause, become bored sexually.
Start exercising champ. I WILL be fucking asian women in their late 30s soon.

Because becoming a god doesn't de-age you.

No Bully the frog

Attached: 1566442093391.png (512x512, 134K)

Your definition of godhood is a bit weak.

>looks like a whore
>acts like a whore
thats how you know she'll take your seed in her belly without ever tasting it.

Pick up her fur coat off the ground because she’s naked, and cover herself with it. Tell her she’s drunk, and needs water and a good night if sleep first. After she weakly protests I guide her back to her bed (by then she already forgot her ultimatum she gave me earlier), and lay her on her side with a fresh glass of water near her night stand.

By next morning let her know what happened last night for a good laugh, and we both head over to the cafeteria hall for a nice hot breakfast, and maybe some tea later that day.

You sick fuck.

She is if you have basic taste.

If it was that easy for her, she'd be happily married before the start of the game.

I would love to fuck Manuela. Or rather, I'd love for her to fuck me.

Attached: 1564545736830.jpg (900x394, 75K)

>EAT ALL THE EGGS
the most cucked post I've ever read. Literally can't even break the mentality of beta male even when it's an anime girl. Now tell us where you're going to school so we can all steer clear.

Attached: agony2.gif (260x260, 1.72M)

Well Sothis is quite “weak” on the godliness scale
Shes basically a uber technology advanced alien that decided Fodlan is a good place to nap, and create some life in the process. Oh, and time travel power
Think Nordic/Hellenistic gods

It's literally not on Rule 34

>the newest poster

Stop being unfunny.

>cumming in a girl's throat
>marrying her
pick one and only one unless you plan on losing half your shit when she cheats on you

Attached: 1370853593344.jpg (500x375, 45K)

>wand
that's a urethral sounding device she hooks up to a socket and cranks up the voltage slowly

A'ight then, makes sense.

>expecting anything good from the FE fanbase
come on now

>not replying to weak bait as if it were serious
how many levels are you people even on? Like 2?

Attached: 1541040880550.jpg (496x600, 57K)

>sticking your dick in crazy
Even the flirtiest knights steer clear from her once they see her room/actual behavior. Its not worth risking a knock-up, and is tied to that mess of a woman

One of those ladies performed fellatio on a horse

You have to go back.

>most married women have huge knockers
hm

it's always worth risking knocking a whore up when coat hangers exist

>Dimitri is a crazed psychopath
>Felix is an edgelord who would kill his own father
>Sylvain hates women and secretly plots to hurt them whenever he gets the chance
>Ingrid is a racist
>Dedue will kill babies if his master tells him to
>Gilbert abandons his family

These are the Blue Lions, the heroes of our story!

Attached: __byleth_byleth_and_dimitri_alexandre_bladud_fire_emblem_three_houses_and_etc_drawn_by_meansary__daf (810x836, 94K)

In your gay little degenerate headcanon maybe

Pic related comes up to you and slaps your ass to get your attention, then proceeds to tell you the Outrealms needs your help and that the gate is located in the Sauna. What do?

Attached: 7D8BB83B-6EC9-433E-B035-812604CFE377.jpg (708x1000, 114K)

Sounds like Yea Forums

Nope it was on video and everything

>le ebin hab to go back meme
fugg. I'll take some more (You)s please.

Attached: 1445288044346.jpg (561x552, 60K)

> Ingrid is racist
And that's bad how?

Attached: 1566394297447.jpg (1024x768, 115K)

Make her my lesbian slave. Then close the portal.

Manuela gets dumped or rejected before she can fuck other men is what I'm saying. Her problem isnt hitting the wall, loads of men find her attractive enough, but they see through her almost immediately and leave at the bar. The few who go home with her see the state of her room and leave as well.

Well I don't think you and I, will be doing anything any kind of way.

Attached: Chris_Hansen.jpg (300x169, 6K)

Here you go then.
Eat up.

>browsing reddit and tumblr
>almost all of the straight porn and fanfiction is with seteth
>dimitri gets nothing but gay shit
why don't women like dimitri? i know he's a man child but he looks better than seteth so what the fuck

Attached: 1565956033234.jpg (876x934, 149K)

Racism is bad.

Reminder that you will ALWAYS be second to her Glenn

Attached: 18AEBC45-DC41-4AFF-A1F3-90DFF5BC58C1.jpg (1000x1414, 960K)

>Exit strategy
I’m going to slam by hand on the wall pining her up against it, then with my face nose to nose to her face I will giver my terms:
>My room instead
>Lights will be on
>I’m on top with her on her back facing me.
>We hold hands while we are doing it
>In the morning we shop for wedding rings.

>he looks better than Seteth
Spotted the fag

because his obsession with El is appalling desu

I'd see through her immediately.
With my one eyed snake.
>Browsing reddit and tumblr
>posting wojack cancer
adds up
thank you my fellow user-kun! Have a comic

Attached: 1472079058496.jpg (980x6106, 2.1M)

But women like dimitri, that's why he gets gay shit.
Who do you think writes gay porn? Gays?

Racism is a survival instinct

Not when it's Duscur.

so is fear, which is why all the racistson /pol/ are actually pussy white men who shoot up innocent people instead of dying for Israel driving over IEDs where they belong.

He's extremely popular with weeb girls, they love yaoi.

More Death Grip memes please

oh no no no no no....

More like disgust and preferring to stick with their own kind like normal animals.

I only have one more but I like it

Attached: 1548729041377.jpg (1055x1078, 87K)

just don't put it in the ass would be my response

Enter smashing mod

Attached: 1566015298748.jpg (800x1350, 72K)

>my room instead
Lol

logically I've already outlined the safest scenario = mouthfuck.

>no one changed hubbub man

oh yes yes yes yes yes yes

I have a Oedipus complex so id probably be in her in the next few minutes.

Claude would like to know your location

You'd suffocate from Manuela's girthy futacock with a decade of built-up cum

Bros, I have a confession
I was in denial, but I've comes to terms with the fact that I think Ingrid looks better post timeskip

I thought humans were supposed to be better than animals, so why do you people insist on acting like animals to justify yourselves?

lmao
OwO
kill yourself by dilating your heart.

>Manuela would cuck him out of his cuck fantasy
It's too funny

>humans were supposed to be better than animals
Only Theists have any justification to believe that. In a purely material universe where there is no god, Mankind is just a highly evolved primate.

Because seteth is a gentleman and Dimitri is a seething incel

Nyo :3c

Racism is pretty cringe

underrated

any lewds of f byleth?

times like these I wish I were a mod so I could just immediately ban degenerates like you.

Dimitri gets heaps of fan content with female Byleth, both art and fanfiction. Not sure how you could avoid it all unless you were trying to.

Attached: EBSLhOaXkAEgq3m.jpg (2202x1438, 254K)

You, me, and the Golden Deer?
We are great together

It's just a jape my friend.

Attached: 1566376981303.jpg (680x680, 99K)

I bet she eats flies

there's plenty of stuff with fem byleth and Dimitry though

Attached: 1567198562457.jpg (1155x744, 179K)

kek

Missed opportunity to let Manuela and fByleth wed. She could eat all the flies in Manuela's room.

>13 years old
>think I'm awesome because I have a 15 year old friend
>play co-op vidya all the time
>have a sleepover in my house
>wake up to the sound of him fucking my Mom in the next room
>can't sleep with the noise, so I play Pokemon
>realise the only reason he was my 'friend' was because my whore Mom was on his dick all the time
>so beta I stay friends with him just to have a foot on the social ladder

Is there anything more beta than staring into your cereal bowl in the morning to ignore the fact that your friend just slapped your Mom's ass in front of you? I'd like to hear it.

Sounds based

Attached: 1566778216526.jpg (2048x1008, 154K)

Where did this pasta even originate from?

Gay
Have you considered not wetting the bed every time I'm balls deep in your mom's pussy so she has to get up and change you?

I'll take things never happened for 500, Alex.

You do realize women are the ones making the gay shit right?

>starts acting all tough after admitting that he's a massive cuck
Mentally ill.

You know damn well I'm mad you shitposting bastard

Attached: 2BF25EC0B9B842D4A37151E7DB45BBA6.gif (457x360, 2.95M)

I'm already married to Marianne whom is a much better girl than you. Please feel free to jump Hanneman's bones as he is your only A rank.

Attached: 1566665701698.jpg (960x1269, 151K)

Vive la révolution

Attached: giphy-facebook_s.jpg (480x270, 33K)

That argument itself degrades and relegates animals to be lower than humans and justifies any possible human action against those animals. It justifies an alien race to subjugate humans as being "lower" than themselves. That's a rather evil and hierarchical view of the world.

I really wish aliens would come enslave us. Honestly it's just common sense.

How long does it take Marianne to do her hair?

>nu-dad is your best friend
>plays vidya with you
>is interested in the same things you are

Where's the negative here

The real beta reality is you didn't doubt team your whore mother with him

Do you think she would force me into smelling her feet and sucking her perfectly manicured toes haha

Attached: 39A1C4D4-CECE-4842-BE11-02BCE0A16DA5.jpg (1024x576, 79K)

based. you don't know how much worse sexually repressed orthodox parents are than that

I know a bit of spoilers about Jeralt, but why do you build rep with him when you train? He has no support, I know he dies later, but does it have any function or is it just left over from early development?

I dunno, maybe you should marry her and find out

Should I play Gaiden or Echoes?

for the golden route where he lives

There is none, you could even get some nudes of her from him.

We would end up spreading throughout their empire, jewing them out of their technology, running tons of propoganda campaigns to convince the aliens it's wrong to oppress us and muh 3 billion killed in Earth takeover, carrying out various protests across tons of planets for "equal rights and welfare", and then having the empire collapse under itself as we pick up all the pieces. Which seems to be the case throughout human history.

[Ruptured Heaven]

Echoes is one of the best entries in the series with added best character in it. Gaiden has aged like milk.

Attached: Rinea_and_Berkut.png (512x324, 124K)