Fix TF2 in 5 words or less

Buff Spy.

Remove matchmaking, f2p, and cosmetics.

give the demoman a glock

Bring back the launch menu.

Ignore all TF2 E Celebes

original artstyle enforced

Ligma

more updates

unfuck coaching and class tutorials

stock everything

original artstyle enforced

Return to the year 2009.

TF2 Classic

Implement new cvar: cl_disablecosmetics

2010 Pre-Mannconomy Source Port

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Support the competitive scene Valve.

wtf valve forced diversity much???
gamebanana.com/skins/118582

Remove matchmaking and cosmetics hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

A sequel they care about

Bring back taunt sliding please
Bring back scope jump canceling

improve pyro and spy. smegma

Can't be done

more updates

Revert the fucking queue system.

Start over from vanilla

github.com/jeebsAU/Headsfeet

Remove duplicate looking hats.

No
Yea Forums wont let me post for some reason I don't know why, I doubt this will even be posted either

Uninstall it and install Overwatch.

wtf valve forced diversity much???
gamebanana.com/skins/118582

lol

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7 names my Degreaser.

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Give scout a machine gun

yes? do you need something, user?

Remove duplicate looking hats.

Dobson's Bicycle Pump

7 names it

7 Names My Degreaser

CattyN's Own Bicycle Pump

Sneed

Inflation Specialist

Make Ambassador headshot again

Make Devs Care And Work

not that user but god fucking dammit

Release the fucking heavy update.

give demoman a glock

Crits are fair and balanced

Name your Flare Gun "Chuck".

A large, responsive development team

Cut afterburn duration to half

Bring back stalemate for CTF

Is there a clear advantage in using the number keys to change weapons over the mousewheel? Because I can spare moving my finger from m1 more than I can from the movement keys.

Bring back puff and sting.

put in robot dog class

Buff Heavy

it's better for switching quickly between 4-5 weapons

He's already honorary fuck off

Update the fucking game

Remove matchmaking.

disregard every update past 2012

buff heavy, nerf demo and Medic

No matchmaking and undo nerfs

Release TF2 Classic

add transgender matchmaking right now

No random crits or spread

Explain to me what the Heavy update would even have in it. In detail.

roll it back nine years

Doubles names it.

Attached: file.png (323x287, 27K)

heavy is already strong, why would he need to be buffed?

The Jewish exterminator

let it die
trying to fix old games endlessly make them an abomination

when people say they want buffs they mean they want a class to be soldier/scout tier on 5cp

Release Final Issue Then Die

Remove sniper and medic

6 gorillion

i love gargling buckets of cum

nigga cheese

Return to 2008.

No, it is not broken.

Ban Furries And Ban Trannies

fire dispenser

No, it is not broken.

Make Soldier a weak Civilian.

Remove that annoying piss thrower

Remove crits from the game

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twisted firestarter

Unusual Degreaser

"You aight white boi?"

bring back old sandman

rancid putrid horse smegma

Fix this in 5 words or less

Attached: 000.png (782x460, 20K)

based

W+M1 in the house tonight

reverse to pre pyro update

Fuck snipers, change it back

>tfw noone gets dubs

>Team Fortress 3 is releasing

Literally all you have to do is give it random crits so it actually does something half the time.

Revert YER plus cloak bonus

instantly destroy all

Poopy Funny

I remember back when this came out. So many people would spam it on instant respawn servers. It was great.

Fuck niggers

We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children

More Hats

I would
>Remove weapon balancing
>revert every single nerf for all classes
>remove MVM and replace it with a Players vs Player robot mode.
>take away F2P and make the game cost $30

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End it

Kill all f2p players irl

>remove MVM
>Removing fun

vanilla tf2 on xbox360 kino

>having fun in the first place

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Remove auto balance you niggers

dumb frogposter

No random crits, fuck niggers.

Are funfags the worst thing to plague this board?

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Not even close.

What's worse than funfags?

Caca poopoo peepee

One Hundred Twenty Five Damage

Earth is flat

NIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGER

Replace it with over watch

remove random crits and spread

fix spy backstab network lag

People who post about politics.

Two major updates per year
And no, not just adding workshop content and calling it a day.

Man vs Machine is a inferior mode
I would rather get a campaign than that trash mode

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Bring back QuickPlay
Juck Fannies

It used to be good

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Spread your ass for removal from this random crit

dumb frogposter

Stop listening to compfags, please

Boku no pico

>campaign
lmao what a massive faggot.

strawpoll.com/9bpgk8ph

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>Degroot at #6
holy fuck

I will swear by Egypt until the day I stop posting

Leave it as it is

Revert to before highlander update

french fried

Cock and Ball Torcher

I don't get what's the problem with the matchmaking and always someone mention it like a bad thing, explain your fucking self

Degreaser

Can't fix what aint broke

there's something about dustbowl that keeps you coming back

Not him, but as someone who's generally defended matchmaking over Quickplay, I'm not fully on the camp to revert the game back. Matchmaking does absolutely nothing better than Quickplay at this point. There are no "real winners and losers" in matches since autobalance exists, and it was simply quicker and more intuitive to load up a server before with any map of your choosing. Let's say you wanted to really play on Pipeline for some reason. Even if there were no servers alive near you, you could still easily join a server with high ping in seconds. Now, there's no guarantee you'll get into one immediately.

Bring back the lunch menu.

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what's the name of that one cfg file that fixes the game?

No.

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Stop giving soldier everything, assholes

soldier should have the rescue ranger

mastercomfig

Give Heavy the Soldier's banners

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Heavy should have the banners

any recommended options or should I just get the newest one?

Revert everything past MYM

Soldier should have the Minigun

mastercomfig.com/download
Whatever lets you have the best performance without completely gutting the graphics
The addons don't really matter

Can we keep the pyro jet pack it’s the only thing that makes the Backburner remotely useable for its intended purpose anymore

Yeah, Keep the pyro changes, Just change everything else because it all just fucking SUCKS SO MUCH ASS

Achoo

God damn it

The Sonychad

kill it

Heavy is not mobile enough to make the banners useful. The banners are meant to be an offensive weapon. The soldier has the banners because he can reliably help push the offensive line because he is fast. Heavy is too fat. If the team had to slow down to keep pace with the Heavy in order to enjoy the banner buffs they simply would never move far enough forward to make the banner count by the time it was gone, especially not if the enemy was retreating.

Chuck

Im brain damaged

get rid of the hats.

Just fucking shut it down

Hades

Add playable female characters.

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At least you're not one of the morons who think this suggestion would make Heavy OP. I still think it balances out well enough to give Heavy a viable alternative playstyle that's more of a team anchor. While Heavy himself wouldn't be able to do as much with the banner as Soldier could, I do think that it's easier, as a team, to rally around a slow-moving Heavy for guaranteed mini-crits or whatever than it is to rally around a Soldier who's rocket jumping everywhere. Heavy can basically create a 3 or 4 or 5-headed monster if enough combat classes rally around him for the buffs.

Chucks

Heavy is a big meatshield meant to draw fire and park his ass on the objective. No class has more of a place in the middle of a firefight, surrounded by allies than Heavy. The banners would both capitalize on his damage-dealing capabilities while rewarding prioritizing survival by giving yourself and your allies a boost
The soldier, meanwhile, is a mobility-based roaming class who does not often surround himself with allies except out of choice. The banner benefits him first and foremost

FUCK i want to FUCK MIDNA SO FUCKING BAD

Remove 2fort, having to interact with concentrated stupidity is painful

Heavy update plox

Re-release vanilla on modern consoles

>relegate banners to a more or less solely defensive option used to hold a point
Defense does not need the help. TF2 already stalemates very easily.

crash the hat economy again

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Heavy with banners would be op as fuck, you would centralize the game more on heavy medic comboes, when it's already the strongest strategy

Heavy is totally viable in 12 vs 12 pubs as a general combat class. We see Heavies on offense all the time to great effect. He's not just a defensive class.

As opposed to a damage buff for someone that can already reliably kill every class in the game except perhaps Sniper, a health regen buff and speed buff for a class with enough mobility to reach a healthpack, or a defensive buff that no one uses?
Who cares if TF2 stalemates easy, it means you get to play the game more and it’s not like it would stuff rollouts or other quick plays like that.

Maybe if you've got a medic 24/7 up your ass, he is. Nothing makes me more quickly aware of my own mortality as a heavy than walking around alone in a pub server.

As opposed to a damage buff for someone that can already reliably kill every class in the game except perhaps Sniper, a health regen buff and speed buff for a class with enough mobility to reach a healthpack, or a defensive buff that no one uses?
Who cares if TF2 stalemates easy, it means you get to play the game more and it’s not like it would stuff rollouts or other quick plays like that.

It’s an incredibly short buff that takes a while to build up. Just bait it, wait for it to run out, and then it’s business as usual. Not to mention equipping it would prevent the use of a Sanvich

ANY combat class that's pocketed by a medic is OP as fuck.

except scout

At first glance, yes, but Scouts with overheal are dangerous.

Add really cute brown girls

I would thourougly enjoy free minicrits on heavy, making the heavy even better is great for me

This would make heavy really good, but also centralizes the game around him, whereas with the soldier it can still be good, you're forgetting to mention that the soldier getting these banners allows him to utilize teamwork better because his increased mobility allows him to get to teammates to make use of it

Does the game really need goats from overwatch to replace the perfectly acceptable and useful soldier banner

delete sniper and spy

user's fuck and suck

But giving heavy minicrits with uber is busted, soldier is a perfect user of banner due to his mobility unless you want to encourage deathball goats overwatch pushes

>Sneed
BASED SNEEDPOSTER

All this talk of changing the mets now is retarded, I don't know if anyone remembers but years ago when retarded zooms didn't play this game soldier banners were used to great effect, it's not like they were ineffective, they were a huge part of the game

Rescue and impregnate cute girls.

If Heavy with minicrits is busted and Soldier can make better use of the banner due to his close-in ability, then how come no one says Soldier is OP with banners?

The banners don’t centralize the game around soldier, why would they centralize the game around heavy?
The Heavy spends most of his gametime around allies, he’s a class that associates well with Engineer thanks to his dispensers providing ammo, Pyro for spychecking, and Medic for obvious reasons. He often finds himself on objectives, either guarding or pushing, meaning he’s often in the heat of the action with his allies. However, he has no real way to benefit his allies or profit from his close association aside from the occasional sandvich toss. The banners would allow him to capitalize on his more “social” nature and reward good play. This, in turn, would add some rewarding depth and complexity to his gameplan, which he sorely needs. And he still needs to build up these banners. They aren’t always active

...

The soldier doesn’t need health regen, he doesn’t need a movement buff. The heavy could make GREAT use of both of those things considering his main flaws are that everyone wants to kill him and he’s incredibly slow. The soldier can rocket jump

Do you want to centralize the game around heavy medic comboes for no reason, I think this is a mistake, if you played on skill servers with 32 players when they were alive you would know how useful banners were on the soldier why change something that works perfectly fine

Soldier has mobility to reach teammates and make effective use of the banner

I am painis cupcake

Remove All Bitch Nigger Pyros

Skill

Soldier’s mobility is also why he doesn’t need the banners.

Why change something that works perfectly fine, soldier has mobility to get to teammates, do you want to slow down the pace of the game by giving the least mobile class a team based buff, pointless

Remove the spy and pyro

2Fort and Turbine are the only maps worth playing.

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I have 2000 hours on Soldier alone. The thing is that he's already got plenty of playstyles with gunboats and shotguns. Heavy really needs something else, and giving him banners would essentially give him 3 new options that wouldn't break the game or be completely useless.

Banners don't centralize the game around soldier because soldier isn't dependent on team support to be good.
Banners would centralize the game around heavy because they would engage a positive feedback loop in which the team is rewarded for deathballing around the heavy who is rewarded with increased survivability who in turn pays it forward by making the deathball more effective with his banners etc, and the team essentially gets a walking hitscan minicrit factory.
Soldier doesn't do this because he doesn't have the sustain power that heavy does for one basic reason: he only gets four shots and his reload takes forever. Heavy can just vomit out damage 24/7.

The most mobile class in the game is rarely in the midst of a team fight meanwhile the least mobile is at their best when creating or participating in team fights. The soldier already has enough shit they can do and they do not benefit the team as much as a heavy would. You shouldn’t be jumping into the objective during a push you should be flanking or backcapping if you aren’t already there

I don't know why you think every game functions like 6v6, this is simply untrue, soldiers don't kamakaze bomb every life just for picks, soldiers stay with the team just like the heavy does, and can make better use of the banner due to increased mobility

Also, I don't think banners are useless on Soldier. I just used them today to great effect. They're just redundant since gunboats and shotguns already fill the roles of roaming around the map solo and sticking with your team, respectively. Banners are made for sticking with your team, which Soldier can already fulfill that role with his many shotguns.

The heavy is also a big, slow-moving target who’s fucked if you catch him off guard and can be very easily avoided if they are on guard. Heavies, despite their health, do not live very long.

And not every heavy or team will be one with enough cohesive strategy and communication to create such a feedback loop. And there are two classes in the game that specialize in killing valuable, predictable targets. One of these benefits from the Heavy being incentivized to stay near people and the other doesn’t need to get near the heavy

You're focusing on one aspect (sustainable DPS) and claiming it would be OP, when there's many other variables that affect the effectiveness of banner usage.

The Soldier having Banners is like if The Scout could build dispensers

You just ignored that this incentivizes deathball comps, which were perfectly serviceable with soldier banners but now you want to make it even more centralized

If you played on skial 32 player servers you would know that buff banner or concherer pushes were a thing, commonly a soldier would team up multiple soldiers demos and heavies, with multiple medics healing them, activate the buff and deathball forward

The buff is useful on the soldier due to his movement, because he can ensure he will be near teammates

>taking fucking Skial server pubstomps as valid evidence of game balance

Banners benefit Heavy’s playstyle. The soldier does not need more playstyles and the banner does not mesh with his play style. The soldier is a movement based DPS class more suited towards roaming, the heavy is an objective based class suited towards slow, deliberate pushes and defending objectives, both usually surrounded by allies.

But what if soldier could build dispensers?

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does Yea Forums even have dubs?

regardless, name it sneed

There's so much that's confusing me about what you're saying, so I just want to be clear. Are you saying that Heavy with banners would be too strong?

Banners on heavy would slow the game down skial servers were the highest level of competition the game had to offer

Banner on soldier is useful because of his mobility, banner on heavy means the entire game has to revolve around the slowest moving class

Take a second to think about why that's retarded

What if soldier could do everything and had no real flaws and inherently more depth than any other character but still got more weapons, items, and focus than any other clasd

hes gonna take you backtothepast

Reichsführer-SS

Yea Forums hasn't had dubs in fucking forever.

Sticky spam and sniper nerfed

It was fun before hats

I’m taking a second and the most retarded thing I can find is you saying that community pubs were the height of skill in TF2

It would centralize the game and slow it down, to the heavies pace, do you want to give a hitscan weapon guaranteed minicrits

Heavy having banners would be strong, but not because he would directly become an unkillable god, but because it would inevitably lead to the creation of a semi-invincible team comp that would be optimal in nearly 100% of situations, and this would be bad for the game.

Port to the Ouya console.

I like where your head's at. Where do I sign?

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Hat trading simulator, that's it.

Define centralize

And why doesn’t this happen with Soldier, who can do similar damage at a longer range and has the best mobility in the game

>And why doesn’t this happen with Soldier, who can do similar damage at a longer range and has the best mobility in the game
Because he has to reload and does not have a hitscan primary which puts a hard cap on his sustained damage output even under optimal conditions and play.

Download and install Team Fortress 2 on Steam

32 player skial servers were the height of competition in tf2, all that special snowflake 6v6 shit doesn't work in 16v16

Reducing the amount of variables in the game doesn't make it more skill based

I mean, the buff itself lasts 10 seconds. It's a relatively short charge. Giving Heavy banners doesn't magically make Heavy even more stalematey than, say, a Sandvich does. Not really seeing your point.

big fuck

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Turn banners into a multiclass item for Soldier and Heavy. Each one benefits in a different way, and it's not like we don't already have multi-class weapons.

No, but making a gamemode in which the classes which have the highest skill ceilings dominate does make the game more skill based.

So why did everyone love this weapon so much and why is it "worthless" now?

The entire team has to play around the heavies pace instead of the soldiers pace

But like you said, Soldier has advantages when it comes to making the most of his banner duration that Heavy does not have, such as closing in on his enemies.

Kike Kooker 3000

So what you’re saying is you don’t like it because Soldier being strong good and heavy being strong bad
Fucking soldier mains

Taunt sliding is still in the console version user!!

For 10 seconds during a push? It's not that big of a deal.

Except the special snowflake shit doesn't work in 16v16, suicide bombing as a soldier or just playing recklessly in general doesn't work in 16v16, you have to account for more people shooting at you

AAAH MOTHERLAND

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because the only thing that matters in 16v16 is whose army of demos/soldiers and sniper is better as they clash in a giant ball of spam

And the Heavy doesn’t

Remove pyro and unnerf sandman

I am a gay faget

I'm actually a heavy main with about 5 times the amount of time on heavy than any other class

If you account for my playtime from several years ago heavy is probably still my most used class

Why do you want to centralize the game further around the heavy when he already has a hitscan weapon that melts people

His mobility limits his ability to be with his team during a push, so you're essentially forcing everyone to move at the heavies pace, which is slow

But these advantages do not translate into sustained deathball comps because Soldier cannot sustain the push ad infinitum since he has to back off and retreat eventually. Soldier banners are bursts of extra DPS that get passed around the team and help augment a push. In contrast because Heavy doesn't need to reload and can chip enemies from infinite range he can just keep charging banner near instantly forever and ever and thus shit out almost continuous banners so long as the team is smart enough to deathball around him and keep him alive. Soldier just can't do this. It's a fundamental difference in class mechanics.

Because he doesn’t anymore
Heavy got fucked up and everyone else just got better ways to shred him and he’ll lose just about any fight that isn’t against a scrub scout if he isn’t revved up
Heavy needs help

Heavies are good too

16v16 is just 12v12 with 4 more players on each team

Why am I trying to convince people how the game works when they never played 16v16 with skilled players, the level of competition in tf2 is laughable now

Heavy is already strong as fuck, he's a big walking ball of "fuck off you don't get to cross this line without being deleted by my minigun" who is functionally immortal so long as you've got a medic with you. Heavy mains are the most coddled players in all of TF2
>yeah I know my gun requires no brain cells to aim and annihilate enemy players just by looking in their vague direction and the whole team wants to help keep me alive and I've got fucktons of HP the game is built around medics hugging me but damn I still think he sucks, how can we break him even further?

REMOVE VACCINATOR, PHLOG, DEAD-RINGER, SNIPER

12v12 works the same way as 16v16 you retard. Whenever you want to win you start stacking soldiers/demos because whatever weaknesses they have disappear with large numbers. They crowd out other classes except ones with an extremely specific niche like medic and good snipers. Trying to balance a game around it is retarded

Killing someone yields another caber

Now this is simply untrue
Maybe if you walk facefirst into him and just try to shoot him instead of like jumping over him or just shooting him at a distance

MY PEANIS WEANIS 0w0

Gung Ging Ging Ga Gung Ging Ging Ga

If that's happening, it's because the other team is complete garbage and would be equally rolled by a pocketed Soldier or Demo.

Maybe on dustbowl, heavies are still pretty good on dustbowl aside from a few chokepoints

This

based

flamethrower

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tell me you're with valve

Some people just want to go Kaboom.

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piss off.

Revert back to Soldier update.

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>Queue casual
>Some team gets curbstomped
>One half of the game leaves
>Matchmaking kicks in and populates the losing team with fresh meat halfway through a second round of curbstomping
>Match finishes
>Spam binds, disconnect
>Queue casual
>Cycle continues
"Stop matchmaking in-progress matches."

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you still play this trash

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>heavy banner thread
Oh no not again
stop removing banners from soldier

Not the user you replied to

>and can chip enemies from infinite range he can just keep charging banner near instantly forever and ever
Getting small bits of 3 damage is not going to charge a banner in a window of time that would make it significant at all, especially not when you are such a slow moving ball of fat that just means a free kill for a Sniper or a Spy. I especially like that you mention this considering that just before in your post you say
>because Soldier cannot sustain the push ad infinitum since he has to back off and retreat eventually
As if a Heavy didn't need to retreat when he hasn't gotten kills that allow him to keep his ammo pool healthy. It's either one or the other. You can't say that Heavy can charge a banner from infinite range and also say that Heavy has infinite sustainability, while on top of that saying that he can charge it near instantly. He has falloff damage and a 200 ammo pool that needs to be replenished by dead enemies, or, you guessed it, by backing off and retreating to grab an ammo pack, and he can't even do that last part by simply jumping to it. He has to drag his ass all the way there. I also hope you are aware of how inefficient it is already to charge a banner as a Soldier when you're not closing into an appropriate range, and are instead getting hits with rockets at long range that people just see as a minor bother. Heavy would have to do much of the same, and he's even easier to pick if he overextends too much because of his horrible mobility.

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#TransRights

No fuck you
Soldier doesn’t need all the shit he has

>generally defended matchmaking over Quickplay
>defending matchmaking at all
Matchmaking took away the ability to join vanillia valve servers freely and this is the actual reason I dislike it.

When you say all that it pretty much shows that the banner would be even worse on the heavy

The blackpill is that the original Casual system that was rolled out on July 7th, 2016 was the best version of Casual and it was all downhill from there. The nuance is that they were retarded for removing the old pubs where you could just fuck around. So, instead of just keeping pubs as they were, they slowly ruined Casual by making it more like old pubs, and so now neither side is happy. You can't have "real winners and losers" when autobalance exists and stopwatch mode isn't enabled for A/D and Payload. Pants on head retarded, but that's Valve for you.

Sneed's Feed and Seed

None of the dicussion about banners or balance matters in the end because no one in the current game has it unlocked, nor do they utilize it, in 16v16 it actually mattered because you were more likely to have teammates around you, and players could actually hit you

In the present day 9 out of 12 of your teammates will be 13 years old or literally retarded, so none of this matters anymore

The only way to fix tf2 is to bring back 16v16 so people actually want to play tf2

It would reward good heavy play
(Dealing and taking damage, staying near your team, surviving)

>original Casual system that was rolled out on July 7th, 2016 was the best version of Casual and it was all downhill from there
The real blackpill is that they didn't even need casual matchmaking

Yiddish barbecue

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#ResetEra donor

Rework every single Heavy weapon.

do hardware id ban waves

stop spanwallhacks revealing disguised spies

Being conspicuous in plain sight is way better than being instantly given away by someone who doesn't even have line of sight to you.
It was so fucking stupid to have disguised spies share the spawn wallhack effect.

start again from the beginning

Gung Ging Ging Ga Gung Ging Ging Ga

remove overwatch

remove the scorch shot

Just because he's perfectly usable on offense doesn't mean you can disregard all his weaknesses and try to play like a scout or soldier. You still have to play with your team, you still have to be aware of what the enemy is doing so you don't get caught out.

Stock > Minigun

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Remove random crits
Buff Spy

I'M SO HORNY AND LONELY AAAAAAHHH

Remake the tutorial, fix matchmaking
Replenishes with time + ammo

release the fucking heavy update

Remove autobalance; Heavy Update

>_

>_

I'm a dumb nigger

I hate Snipers

They tried removing autobalance, it fucking sucked, it left you fucked because minor unbalances couldn't be fixed quickly enough by connecting a new player so minor unbalances led to huge ones and pretty quick a round that was very salvageable turns into one team steamrolling the other making for a shit match for both.

xD

>all these newfags

ӇЄԼԼƑƖƦЄƁƠƖ2003ƑƠƦƬƝƖƬЄ

remove all women and minorities

test

Demoman stickies land before detonation.

Jews lament

Sneed's Feedthrower (Formerly Chuck's)

More hats and less updates

cosmetics match the artstyle again

Replace casual with quickplay

Remove all cosmetics and taunts

Revert game balance to 2013

Why? Quickplay was shit. Just put Valve servers back on the server browser.

gay sex with hats on

just let the game die