I like older women in my games
I like older women in my games
Other urls found in this thread:
youtube.com
pastebin.com
pastebin.com
twitter.com
This is either going to be a good thread or get 404d
I'm older than most MILFs I jack off to
TFW pedophile mods on Yea Forums
>Used to like older women
>Now they're just women my age
There's no salvation for us, is there?
flawless taste
how long until this thread dies via ss?
Yeah unfortunately I'm getting there myself. 30 in a few days. I don't mind aging, but I do mind that older women won't be older for much longer.
shit taste in mommies
>have a disgusting preference for older women
>cant tell anyone this since its weird
>younger women are confused since i pay them no attention
eh
I hate the realization of this, it's why it's best when age is never mentioned and they're just mysteriously "older"
But user you're her mommy
>cant tell anyone this since its weird
Are you 12 or something? That is an extremely common, vanilla taste.
Well, we'll always occasionally have hentai with 500 year old beautiful MILFs.
Manuela is such a wreck but I love her. Touching supports.
you've been on the internet to long buddy
This is why I can't stand some porn titles or categories.
>girl obviously in her early or mid 20's
>MILF GETS FUCKED BY SON'S FRIEND
lol wut
No, it's really very common in men all around the world.
Me too user
I was so upset when I discovered that in highschool, these "MILF"s are just women a couple years older than me.
Unless you're a grandma fetishist, literally no one will care
I swear, 20 years ago MILF was more accurately used than it is today.
What happens after that?
Nothing, She ponders why you're stone cold and her charm didnt work on you, or if you even understand the innuendo.
>voiced by Veronica Taylor
This is literally when you get to meet her, she's a good character once you get to know her
Cakes are for cutting not getting to know
Delete this
Me too.
No her mommy is inside me while I'm inside her
A daring synthesis
Same.
this is getting out og hand, now there are two of them
She has the absolute best romances. The moment she finds someone that loves her, she becomes a much better person.
I don't I LOVE THEM
Sauce
Rule 34 xxx
You gotta become the fatbald molesting the 18-20 something girl. That, or just venture back into the imagination of the past.
>That scene where she’s drunk talking to Cyril
Fantastic voice acting even if I keep hearing Delia Ketchum which isn’t really a bad thing
Shes the best looking mage her skin tone really makes he boobs pop.
>has the range to voice young boys and hot old ladies
>also Micaiah
Her drunk voice really impressed me.
>unshaved pits
I dunno about this one...
"and you know what he did? He apologized!"
I'm 100% I've never heard her voice and never will
But that's the best part
Did they fuck?
>spends years flirting with Byleth
>drops her spaghetti when he actually proposes
perfect
Only if you marry her
Why is Dimitri such a absolute fucking Chad?
Is she a virgin?
MC is too autistic and doesn't understand.
She's a femcel
Probably
Cakes are for eating!
Yes but not from lack of trying.
>she was hiding gigantic tits behind her armor this whole time
wew
based
me too
Your sacrifice will not be in vain, user
I don't know if that's allowed here
I hope not
Got any Sae or Tae?
Isn't he underaged? Doesn't that make her a pedophile?
>cake
>hot
Is there more unrealistic trope?
Cheers mate
This is the exact moment when you realize that it's all over.
shut up
dating someone less than a year away from legal age isn't pedophilic
most countries have AOC laws that start at 16
morally wrong because teacher+student, but not illegal whatsoever
There were plenty of cases in burgerland that teachers were jailed for having sex with chad jocks.
Good. They should have been given the firing squad instead.
you're supposed to wait until after they graduate
t. someone who has been in education enough years to know which teachers regularly fuck ex-students
do you have the link to that Sae story?
It's only true oldies when the artist actually tries to show the age difference
pastebin.com
Semi relevant
You have to remember, the game was made in Asia
You'll grow up someday, little boy.
because lots of times the kid isnt of an age to consent or not or is living in a state that has different laws, and most of those cases end up in higher courts to decide whether it's legal or not
At least it ain't a jungle
So how come nobody has noted how Mercedes seems like she comes right out of Handmaid's Tale?
Or is mentioning that show verboten on Yea Forums?
Source?
I never watched or read it so couldnt say
A fellow GILFbro I see
Older women's feet in nylons.
Go away, Lorenz
Literally who?
ITT: Incels with mommy issues.
Komi-san, nearly 100% of the characters have a main gimmick that's at least slightly referenced in their name
Jukujo means 'older woman', his name is almost literally 'older woman lover'
Yep, that's me
Incel yes mommy issues no
My mother is a piece of shit so I'd believe it
Wrong, turns me on because she's relatable
i just like women in general. age is irrelevant
Something about 2D milfs just makes me rock hard when compared to non-milf 2D characters. I don't know why.
Are you some kind of a girl fetishist?
Mommy > Cunny
Is there any good western cakes?
Nice projecting
>can't fuck Edna Krabapple
It hurts.
>had a milf fetish ever since I discovered porn
>now it's just a "women my age" fetish
Kinda lost its magic a bit but still works
Why are you that bothered about people discussing a thing they like?
You need to move on to "over the hill chubbies/BBW who act like dirty sluts." Take the plunge.
why are you replying to obvious bait
why are you people discussing your "milf" fetish on a video game board?
What do the moon runes say?
>find younger women attractive
>"Pedo"
>find older women attractive
>"Mommy issues"
What do you want?
3d milfs are top tier if they're not roastie wine aunts
They're rare but exist
He wanted (You)s, and you handed them over without a damn fight. He made shit bait, and you rewarded him as it it was quality. You've dammed us all.
women over 25 are so ugly in real life. literally no woman is attractive beyond 30 unless you've had a kid with them
Because it's a off topic shithole as is, and any time someone tries to get on topic it's just shitposters and baiting or people attempting to derail the thread. Fuck do you care about one milf thread nufag?
Here I can estimate the translation for you
>ara ara~
>have you taken the medicine I've given you already, user-kun?
>it boosts your stamina and blood flow too
>hope you'll put it to good use huhuhu
>are you really that interested in my feet?
>silly user they are dirty from a day's hard work
>I do see the problem you're having in your pants there though ara~
>it can't be helped, I'll have to take care of it for you
And other relevant degeneracy
>jack off to Kawakami but never played the game
>look up her age
>its late 20s
>this is considered mommy
I'm older than her for fucks sakes.
>incel
No
>mommy issue
Absolutely yes
>nufag
le ol' fag is mad
Have you ever been molested by an older woman when you were a child then grew up as a sexual deivant? I have
Kinda
She was 17 while I was 10 and I really liked her but was just clueless about what was going on
Important question to determine your age:
Do you prefer your women buck naked, or with some clothing (lingerie, etc)?
milf =\= cake
All good women are taken quickly.
I don't even know what you people consider as "issues"
>abusive mother --> mommy issues
>loving and caring if a bit overprotective --> mommy issues
give a clear fucking description
Like every boy in every school thinks at least 1 teacher is hot and guess what, they are older than the boys.
buck naked
Literally what was the ending of this one?
>oh no, shes a slut, better not visit her anymore
>unless...
There is nothing purer then love between a lonely old lady and a young man to brighten her world
It's ok, you dont get lynched for being gay anymore
You can say it freely
I've been molesting by women my age
Reverse image search and iqdb give squat. What’s the sauce?
she corrupted him like her that was her goal
Mommy issues isn’t usually an indicator for the milf fetish, it’s usually some older woman in your life that treated you well and you formed an attraction to her.
He probably implied oedipus complex.
I'll give you a nice hint it's the guy who made the yandere bug girl doujins
Yeah but you gotta wonder, why would a hot as fuck woman like that still be single at that age?
But he's just having sex with her, he's not trying to sex other girls. I guess I see it though, thanks for the clarification
>follow him on twitter expecting art
>it's 90% cat pics
Everything turned out better than expected
Same here, but bi-sexual, so everything goes regardless of age.
you ever watch Pokemon? She was Ash until they switched dubs
>look up femdom porn
>like half of the stuff in the category is the literal exact opposite, borderline torture porn maledom videos
I hate looking for porn.
Sub 18 year old detected.
I'm not a native english speaker, Ash is dubbed by a guy in my country
For Kawakami she overworks herself because of guilt/extortion, and her second job would ruin her if anyone found out. Manuela doesn't love herself, and every man she meets can see through her, yet she blames them instead of realizing she's the one at fault.
Probably
esl get out then
Some clothes I fucking hate when it's an office girl video or somthing like that and she takes all her clothes off
>that one naked video where she was piss drunk
esl stay in
This user knows his shit
clothing is eventually gonna get off anyway.
>anime/jrpg older woman
>looks like a regular teenager but with a mole and average hairstyle
Why are the japanese so afraid of facial features?
>Reverse image search and iqdb give squat
???
This I'll never understand, "hot stocking" "jean shorts" "cute dress" and then they take it all off and the actor is naked and looks like a cheap whore off from a street corner
The clothes make it hotter, keep them on ffs
because adding wrinkles and shit on already simplistic features looks silly
What are some good jrpgs with recruitable cakes?
>because adding wrinkles and shit on already simplistic features looks silly
Only if you're a shitty artist.
he draws top tier mommy bugs
>stockings
>dress
>cute lingerie
>glasses
>random accessories like a bracelet/watch/headband
>braids/ponytail
>character specific gimmick feature if cosplaying
>SHE TAKES IT ALL OFF (+undoes her hair)
I know it's done because it's very obviously not comfortable for sex but this is porn we're talking about here.
Please my fetishes or get the fuck out
No, the anime artstyle literally doesn't allow for it
stop being a retard
why can't you fuck your best friend's mom in this game. You can fuck his dad but not his mom.
Even as a self admitted weeb, Japanese games/media is massively retarded when it comes to ages
This is supposed to be a 15 year old.
Took me a sec to realize you didn’t mean the yandere moth girl
>tumblr artist
Holy fuck, I unironically fear this now.
t.
So mommy issues is when you get too attached to a motherly figure and daddy issues is when your father fucking abandons you?
If you think that then that's a problem. The japs are too obsessed with marketable smooth samefaces that can easily be made into figurines.
If Mokuzou Zabuton and Yukijirushi Nyugyou can pull off proper mature anime women then there's no excuse for other artists.
>Blue Lions soft mommy healer
>Meant to be the choice for players who like milfs but not grannies like the teacher
>mfw I am older than both of them
A good student aims to please his teacher.
>the anime artstyle literally doesn't allow for it
Yes it does. It's just that so many artists are too lazy to try. You need to find better artists.
>Manuela is 41 post timeskip
Finally an actual old woman and not some slut in her 20s.
story?
Where do I get a big tiddy 35+ gf without kids?
>looks the exact same
I mean... even a different haircut would have been nice
>tumblr
is this 2013? Everyone is on twitter now
She's 33 pre and 38 post, isnt she?
Take a gamble and commit unlive. Maybe heaven will grant your wishes, that's the only way I can hypothesize
Any other characters with this imaginethesmellsthetic?
on reddit, especially subreddits dedicated to cat pictures
since you're such an expert then you probably have some good examples to show
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
absolute wife
>reading comprehension
i feel you bro.
i hate this.
especially since watching one getting railed like a schoolgirl's first time.
>spoiler
Next to impossible and even if you do find someone she's going to be irreparably broken because if she wasn't she'd be taken.
It's boring to be honest, she was obviously horny and I was a confused little boy who appreciated her very much as a big sister figure. We were just talking, while she slowly rubbed my thigh, pp got hard, she moved to pp, tried to jack it off, I came almost straight away, she then mounted me once my penis got hard again, with just her pants off and moved panties aside (another fetish of mine that originated here), moved a few times while panting, and then she quit with neither of us coming, we never spoke after that and she moved
>mommy threads
>cunny threads
>no cunnymommy threads
what went wrong?
Not enough content for it to build an audience.
Oyakodon 5th route with Rhea and Sothis ain't out yet.
was your life impacted heavily because of it?
I went most of the game wondering how they bathe and it turns out there's a sauna. I would bet my life there's going to be DLC around it.
Can regura go back to making satisfying endings?
They're all bittersweet at best, I think the only "happy" one was with the girl turning into a bug and thinking her husband didnt love her because of it
Apart from the fetishes I very obviously developed - not really. It got me less interested in sex or finding a partner I guess, and I was "technically" a virgin up until 30, since the only other time I had sex after that was at a party. Completely drunk, with a completely drunk girl, didn't even finish, she puked and passed out midway too, wasn't very encouraged due to those two experiences, so was just happy with porn.
>that's my mother's name
>Tfw 22
Never gonna die! Mommies for days!
you're 3 years away from the average age of a christmas cake
You naive child, I was the same as you and now I'm 26
you will always be after older women
i used to be like you
at some point it get weird to like more women who are on their 40´s(or older) than women who are on their 20´s
why aren't there any good shotas in F3H
Why aren't there any good traps?
Ashe is the closest you'll get
Hey, c'mon man. You still have *pfft* Cyril.
He said good
>be a slut
>get bored with men, married men, boyfriends
>fuck little boys instead
Kek
>95% of milf doujin/manga are /ss/, netorare, rape, cheating garbage
>A good milf doujin comes out and it it universally well received
>Still get the garbage ones on a consistent basis
Is there a more cucked tag?
>it's a "Japan makes a super hot older lady that would get men fucking her every week irl but somehow no men in her world want her" episode
>Is there a more cucked tag?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say the "netorare" tag.
Honestly? I think it's because older women/milfs are probably considered a degen fetish in Japan. Which is why it gets paired with the other degen shit you mentioned.
Men want her, but they also dont want to put up with her drinking habits, her inability to clean, and her general attitude of blaming everyone but herself. You'd think she would've got the message after 200 or so rejections.
source?
>That's the female version of my name
I want to dick down your mom
Onozomi no Ketsumatsu
She almost does in several of her supports. But not for long.
good shit
>>younger women are confused since i pay them no attention
>they think your gay because you don't pay them no attention
fuck you
I'm writing a story now, boys. Keep the thread alive.
It's not lewd. I'll write something lewd later. I tend to be long winded so trying to do both would take all night.
There will never be a game where all the girls are lolibabas.
MILFs are attractive
Wait, really? That's hot.
Based writebro
>95% of milf doujin/manga are /ss/, netorare, rape, cheating garbage
>older women/milfs are probably considered a degen fetish in Japan. Which is why it gets paired with the other degen shit you mentioned.
I'm on the fucking edge to start learning how to draw and exclusibly make milfs/older women without all the above and shove all the shit taste that the japanese have on the matter back into their butts where it belongs.
and mother and son porn.
That's what I did, someone even posted my art itt
Get some fucking taste you gay bastard.
Walk on home faggot
>Handmaid's Tale
I'm an uncultured swine. What's this?
Bless you
A poorly-written book based around sexism in Iran set in the United States after a fundamentalist Christian junta takes over. It's the other Harry-Potter of progressive literary references.
what the other user said but it's also about revolutionary elements who just want power using religion or ideology as a smokescreen or as an attempt to gain legitimacy for their rule in the eyes of the populace or foreign elements
don't watch the tv show
I mean needing to wear a respirator in order to fuck her because her room is such a massive health hazard is kind of a turn off to most people.
What, seriously?
She literally can't even open the door for the entirety of her C-support with Byleth because her room is such a massive mess that she can't find her clothes, and in the process of looking for them the game plays multiple glass breaking sounds indicating that she has food bowls and such crap piled all over the place, so her room is probably full of mold and rotting food.
I think one of the first conversations you can have with her is her complaining about a knight she went on a date with refusing to go into her room after the date because it was so nasty. And she also picks food that she just dropped off the ground and eats it, and tells another teacher who is absolutely disgusted that it's a 3 second rule.
>tfw no anime milf gf
holy shit its still here
fuck
>Ghost Cake
Based
>Shota
Cringe
Based Teal'c
Took me a minute, but I'm done. My idea was for this to be a sort of goofy sitcom-tier plot, but I didn't really plan it, and I'm just posting the first take so it's whateves.
>tfw 25 this week
it doesn't get any better does it?
Thankfully my mother's name is generic enough for me to disassociate it from other women, but I fucking feel bad if it's a unique name that you almost never hear else where.
I became a wizard today, so don't feel bad.
Older women you say
name source title
happy birthday!
Lurk moar
I was on board with like, 70% of this game, but all the bad ends and edgy shit killed the boner.
What do you call a night sky with no stars?
Its super illegal if they are your student, because you have power over them.
Except that translation remove them along with scat.
If you patch back then its your fault.
is this the starless one?
oh god never mind then
My mother passed away when I was young.
>named fem byleth "Chika"
hehehe
no
>What do you call a night sky with no stars?
pitch black?
>middle school.
>older girl.
>she’s constantly asking how large my balls are.
>almost end of the year.
>she and her friends take me to a secluded part of the hallway.
>”come in this room with me user!”
>figure all the movies I’ve seen where the nerd gets pranked by a girl.
>naw I’m good.
Now I look back and think, damn, maybe she was into younger boys and actually wanted to slob on my knob like corn on the cob.
>keep them on ffs
Keep them somewhat on, you mean. Clothing should be in disarray or slid aside just enough for access to the bits. Half the buttons open. Titty bounced enough to end up a little out of place, muffintop'd at the bra and revealing areola. Shirt slid up to reveal the slim waist. A leg with panties hanging off it.
That's a good thing since it gets easier to fuck older women the older you get.
He prefers the ambiguous end for his predatory women stories. He's got quite a few clear happy endings other than the one you mentioned.
>2d milf
>looks the same as non milf characters but has big tits and ass
>3d milf
>Disgusting unless they're a 25 year old "milf".
This thread lacks RHEA
That much was obvious, he has a very distinct style
Thank fuck I always fapped to women in their 30's AND 40's so I'm set for another decade.
Ok 50's too
I love how good women's tits look in bras but in tons of porn, even softcore porn involving women with huge tits, they'll wear a shirt or something for like half the video then take it off and just be in their bra for two seconds then take it off.
God I love vidya mommies.
Reminder that there a practicing physicians in Japan who used to be national beauty contest winners. The west can't compete.
Would Manuela let me suck her toes?
Still the best Fire Emblem mommy.
Probably, but imagine the smell
are you fucking dumb? beauty pageant hos are actually intelligent
I feel like that's a very broad statement.
>tfw no bottom heavy japanese milf to use my face as a seat cushion
I'm more into christmas cakes than milfs and this same realization hurt.
i like htat artstyle who drew it? i want to learn more to improve my own technique
what's still here?
It was the p5 protag eating out with the teacher, but it has been removed.
Lost like tears in the rain
Happy birthday, user. I turned 24 today.
I kind of doubt that?
>A leg with panties hanging off it.
Gets me every time.
That is the good shit, my dudes
Jesus christ, is she really this blatant about wanting the dick in the game? Can you finance her? What do you get for doing so?
>tfw I'm attracted to aging, lonely women with a slight drinking problem who are incapable of doing basic housework
I wish there were girls like this IRL.
user...
My gf is pretty much this and I’m probably going to ask her to marry me soon because this is the peak.
She’s a history professor at a pretty big college so she makes more than me. I fucking hate it and love it at the same time.
how do you all feel about asian milfs?
>Canonically gets pregnant in her Byleth ending
Based Byleth
Hey don't group /ss/ in with that other filth.
/ss/ is pure and wholesome and perfect for people with Oedipus Complexes which I assume you all are if you like MILFs.
but user
/ss/ is low tier trash
A wife and a few children.
I DO NOT have an Oedipus complex. I just like mature women, the fact that my mother spent all of her time either at work or with one of her boyfriends has nothing to do with it.
I thought I was into milfs from fapping to them but when I saw a real life one naked back in college it wasnt as hot. Real life women are only hot from 18 to early 30s.
>18 to early 30s
18 to early 35s
>18 to early 35s
18 to early 40s
I don't like MILFS I just like big boobs and MILFS are typically the ones who have big boobs in game/anime
You don't like milfs you idiots. You like the idea of milfs.
its a bad feel
Then explain why the biggest nut of my life was during sex with a milf
I like my MILFS with a bit of smug evil in them
I don't get it
You like porn milfs. If you saw a 40 yeat old woman naked irl you would be disgusted unless it was a celebrity
Isnt that true for every woman?
No? 18-30 year old women are hot irl
I've met plenty of ugly women in that age range
God bless Persona 5 and Three Houses for having a ton of great older ladies.
stinky pussy
>the tea party scenes
good
>tfw go out drinking with 38-year old dyke MILF
>Tells me all about her raunchy sex escapades with college girls
>"You're pretty cute in this light, user. Shame about the dick..."
Why was I born a man
She absolutely is. There's a line of men trying to get into her pants but they back off when she starts talking and her personality surfaces.
What about 18-25?
Fuck the dyke out of her.
should have eaten her out or something, she probably would have let you
Fates already had a woman you can romance who's old enough to be best friends with your mother and you can even impregnate her.
The absolute madmen designed someone seemingly just so that should they end with FemByleth, they both have legitimate claims to call each other mommy
I only played Conquest
>check pornstar
> one video has "MILF" in the title
>another one has "teen" in the title
I don't blame you
>Find a MILF pornstar that's actually aged around 35-45
>Has videos of her with niggers
Julia Ann would be perfect if not for this.
Is there a single pornstar around this age that doesn't perform with apes?
>I like older women in my games
I want to fuck older women
>Come in expecting hot vidya milf/gilfs
>Nothing but boring shitposting and lame ass chinese cartoons
Fuck you Yea Forums
That's literally the only thing that stops the (((producers))) from throwing them aside.
There is a very low chance that Manuela shaves.
I find these kinds of threads split into 2 types
its either image dumping or autistic discussions
Sometimes both.
still better than smash threads
>Says lines like this all the time to female Byleth
>Can have a lesbian relationship with Dorothea
>Refuses to go down on fem Byleth
It's not fair bros
She might, she is concerned with her appearance
WHY CANT YOU FUCK HER AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Femleth is too slutty for Dorothea's taste.
Am I the only one having a deja vu?
>be college boi
>go to a health class, theres surprisingly more boomers in there
>40 year old boomer girl, single still, sits next to me
>we talk and all that bullshit, but it develops
>tells me she has a heart tattoo on her butt and wants to show me it
>fuck her big fat brown latina ass whenever i want now, even did it once in the parking lot at school
this was in spring and its still going. she may also have some weeb tendencies since shes seen some anime like code geass, cowboy bebop, death note, trigun and some other older shit. she was younger when these came out i suppose...anyway i made a very lucky catch and it can be done. just know that if they are way past their prime and unmarried still, there is a definite reason why.
OH NO HES HOT
It's okay because I'm pretty sure most women your age like older men too. I don't think I've ever seen a woman in her 20's or even early 30's actively look for somebody younger than them
w-who is that?
what about it faggot? fight me
But he laserbeams her face off
>But he laserbeams her face off
because mommy and trust issues
Japs do milfs the best.
White haired woman from Suikoden 3
Edea, Ultimecia from FFVIII
That milf in black dress with sexy makeup from FFX
Saber from Fate
And so on, there are probably many more.
>18 to early 40s
8 to early 10s
I'm 32 and I fap to 30 years old milfs not very often though.
this is the ending i got for BE, fucking 1000/10
> her elderly hands
Eww no
< Oyakodon
>Get older
>Find it harder to fap to characters that look younger
>tfw had an ongoing relationship with a mommy gf over twice my age who was into gentle femdom.
Still some of the best sex I ever had, and I like to think back on it to this day.
>24
>Still nowhere near you're age range.
HAH!
It should be vice versa.
I think I am too casual for hard/classic
Should I try normal/classic instead?
If you want to get bored to tears, by all means.
Hard is kicking my ass an I feel like I am already hugely undergeared and leveled in month 2
what's the new pic bump limit again?
please, more manuela
112
sorry it's 114
based user who is too retarded to troll
what a cute
dare I say, r/woosh?
No just no it’s not worth it
based tourist redditor
what a cute!
>be me
>be not reddit
lol my feel when
ecksde
>not liking /as/
You're supposed to self-insert onto the shots and enjoy all the mommy vibes and gentle femdom
Fates is complicated because the woman who most fulfils my mommy fetish is like 20 something.
This is the natural way of things. Every year or so I go back over my collections of pictures and prune things I don't like anymore. I'm 37 now and anything even vaguely looking young is long gone.
Probably but who gives a fuck anymore.
This boy knows whats up
Post more milfs nigga
>claims to be a milf
>is barely in her late 20s
I blame rampant teen pregnancy and shit tier sex education.
>takes the glasses off
This especially
dead thread
36 pre skip
>That milf in black dress with sexy makeup from FFX
Lulu. She's my favorite.
i like this
>her fucking HIPS in that scene
Good goddess
there was an older girl down the street from me when i was a kid and one time when i was like 12 i was riding my bike by and she and her friend were out and the friend said that they wanted to suck my dick
i spilled my spaghetti and rode away and didnt have any sexual contact with a woman until 10 years later
this doesnt involve feces, does it?
you definitely have a chance bruv