Sexy space smurfs will not find our existence in our lifetimes

What's it matter? Can't you find a mod that changes my post to better fit your sensitivity bubble?

why even live?

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>People unironically want to fuck blue lizards because they have people faces
Whats wrong with you
You can see their skin

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>People unironically want to fuck blue lizards
Yes, and?

>alien race
>just humans with accessories

Fuck off with this bullshit jesus christ

This.
giv me christian tomboy gf to make lots and lots of babies with.

Yes but sex dolls of them will.

Gamer-brain is a very serious illness user. It’s severe enough to make people talk about this shitty dead franchise. But in the spirit of this thread
>Kai Leng will never bully you via email

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>Fuck off with this bullshit jesus christ
How do you feel about the Wraith from Evolve then?

>because they have people faces
And people hands, torsos, butts, boobs, legs and huge pee-pees

Attached: Wraith.webm (838x720, 2.87M)

Actually the asari probably look more like that webm, but they have mindhack powers that make them more attractive to different species as a way to broaden their gene pool.

proof race mixers are zoophiles

>they have mindhack powers that make them more attractive to different species as a way to broaden their gene pool
One throwaway conversation on Illium < codex entry on the Asari

Good.

why live

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>trusting asari edited propaganda

Damn, I'm really glad vocaroo user voiced my quote

>t. brainlet

This is one of the greatest thing ever. Also this:
vocaroo.com/i/s1fPNvQw5koP

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>EVERY species is attracted to and mates with the one that humans just also happen to be attracted to.
Plus the asari clearly censor their history and abilities, so of course your codex is compromised.
>Oh we're just super advanced and got to the Citadel first, we certainly didn't hide prothean tech or anything!

female turians are cuter

>what is video, photo and statues
Take your meds.

photos and holograms don't exist, right?

Asari are probably the lowest tier race in the game as far as mate potential. They're exoparasites that produce sociopathic predators if they mate within their own species.

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BIG BLUE COCK

Cute feet

>why arent blue humans real :((((((((((((
at least cry about furfaggotry not being real, I mean really just get a girlfrield and paint her blue

>Dead Asari still look like asari
>Video footage of Asari has them still look like Asari
>Photos of them still look like Asari
Your ridiculous theory is based on a conversation you didn't even listen to properly

Did deepfake voice tech make a leap recently?
I keep seeing Jordan Peterson ones all over the place and now Liara

another ruined asari love thread, fuck
better luck next time, but damn, don't start without me, alright?
i posted like 100 or 150 messages in the last one, damn

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And some humans are attracted to fucking animals that look nothing like them. So what?
It's not like EVERY member of every species is attracted to them, pretty sure most mate with their own species, or they would have gone extinct long ago.

cringe bro prepare to lose subscriber

The conversation is just about how every race find something they like in the asari, sure. But that doesn't negate the fact that the codex is an asari psi-op.

>i posted like 100 or 150 messages in the last one, damn
me too and also lewds in the end

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Oh no, it's retarded

The tutorial story on Citadel in ME1 is some really good worldbuilding

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this was posted in a thread the other day.
vocaroo.com/i/s01mQvE96rwk

Fuck yes dude
Liara checking that Shepard mating tube was great

I never considered Liara or any other asari attractive. This shit ruined my immersion, since asari supposedly looked differently to different species just to be attractive to them, yet they were ugly in their "human" form.

>They're exoparasites that produce sociopathic predators if they mate within their own species.
How did they evolve a species like that though, wouldn't reaching space age with space travelling technology and their interbreeding with new species cause the Asari to view halfbreeds as defective due to them being overly emotional?

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>Something to remove sudokus and bullshit in general
>Remove sudokus
>remove the only mildly interesting part of the game
>he wants the game retarded easy on top of being shitty in general

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>since asari supposedly looked differently to different species just to be attractive to them
They don't, user. Only utter retards believe this.

Son you may suffer from severe homosexuality.

There is no intelligent life down here and probably not up there

They literally NEED to fuck other species to avoid their offspring turning into monsters, and have had access to prothean tech for centuries. Protheans used biology in their tech. Asari genetically modify themselves as their prothean technology/propaganda devices are among the first to be widespread across the new galaxy as they are the first in the cycle to reach the Citadel.

>since asari supposedly looked differently to different species just to be attractive to them, yet they were ugly in their "human" form.
No, that's bullshit made up by the retards fanbase. It's not that every species sees a different thing when they look at the asari, it's that there's something about them every species finds attractive, e.g. turians dig their fucked up heads, humans dig their tits, salarians dig their skin, etc., etc.

The have an extremely rare recessive genetic mutation that can only appear between Asari/Asari matings. But is so rare it's basically a non issue.

So its like down syndrome then

>But is so rare it's basically a non issue.
The asari propaganda machine strikes again.

DMT might lead you to some

>"they are parasites"
>diplomatic and try to help other species with resources and tech
>"they control your minds, i bet they look like shit without their biotic magic"
>photos, codex, holograms, dead bodies looks the same
If you don't like blue women with tentacles from outer space then leave, nobody asking you to come here and spit your hate for them. Just go make another thread or something, idk.

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>The asari propaganda machine strikes again.
So is it me or are the Asari sounding a lot like Gods Chosen people here on earth?

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it's not just you. they've even got psychic mossad running around fucking shit up.

It's canon, user.
No, you. Asari are ugly.

Some call the tard wrangler, we have a live one.

uggo

It's not canon. Found me a fucking proof first, and then we will talk. I bet you believe that last part of the game is hallucination.
Put that one dialogue in the whole franchise up your ass, it's not a proof.

If they really control your mind then its not difficult to change "ugly fucking monster" to "most beautiful girl ive seen". Perception change - dont even need to edit the photos

If they were trying to harvest you they could already turn you into slaves without all that political bullshit. They strong, smart, and powerful enough to do that.

Can't wait to install nearly identical voice module for future Liara sex robot now

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Very patrician, good user. Allie Hillis made Liara with that deeper, innocent yet sultry voice. Future can't come soon enough.

Are Biotics an Asari trick to mind control the others?

we live in a society

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Probably more like muscular dystrophy or haemophilia. Both of those are caused by recessive genes; whereas we're not entirely sure what causes the extra chromosome that creates downies, just that it's more common for older woman to have downie kids.

>Are Biotics an Asari trick to mind control the others
The first incidents of unborn children being exposed to eezo happened before the first contact war, so extremely unlikely.

God bless Allie, Jennifer and Mark.

So what you're saying is that it's just a really tricky asari trick?

If Asari have time travel you might have a case.

>If
Asari propaganda machine strikes again!

post the futa webm already

What next, you expect me to do your math exercises, kid?
And yes, that one dialogue is proof because it's canon. Fuck your feelings

Just go to paheal already

>that one dialogue is proof
Them all talking about totally different things is proof to you?

No unless they're a canon explanation.

>In this much denial

>Three random drunk idiots speaking about totally different aspects of Asari physiology trumps video footage, marble sculpture and corpses.
Ok

>Dead Asari still look like asari
mind probing
>Video footage of Asari has them still look like Asari
mind probing
>Photos of them still look like Asari
MIND PROBING. God you fags are hopeless

Please, get out. Just let me enjoy talking about space women without hearing hate bullshit on the line.

>mind probing
And what about the first video footage shown on earth in 2157?

Don't reply to me again, retard.

There's probably no way for us to stop them with our tech right now or 60 years in the future, so they would be able to do whatever they want with us. Wouldn't that be terrible? haha

But see if that were true, wouldn’t the mind hack powers wear off when they die? Yet Asari corpses still look the exact same.

A dead reaper managed to fuck up a bunch of people who were digging around inside of it, and reaper tech is based off of prothean tech, which the asari had access to for decades or even centuries.

>reaper tech is based off of prothean tech
Dunning Kruger is in Effect.

Sorry you can't accept that your perfect blue squid girl is a horrific Giger abomination that has to use mind hax to actually look appealing
>Implying the Asari, a hyper advanced race of mind raping aliens don't have the forethought to figure out a way to mask themselves before making first contact

Sorry mate look how retarded your compatriots are.

So they fucked their homeworld’s native wildlife before they found other sentients right?

No, they fucked each other.

>reaper tech based off prothean
I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT

>no stone age Asari fucking literally everything sentient in sight
aw man

humanity is retarded
send help

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>prothean tech, the asari had access to for decades
The more times I read this post the more entertaining it becomes.

Good point. I surrender.

how does that work on people who were never close to asari?

You can literally ask Liara about this in ME1. They don't NEED to fuck other species, it's basically the equivalent of IRL forced "diversity".

This.
Also, do you fags even know how biotic works? The shit you're talking is ridiculous.

Asari are the most powerful race in the galaxy economically and culturally. It's borderline impossible not to come into contact with them at any point and the ones that don't we're never introduced to in any Mass Effect media.

Dude, even Shepard get to the Citadel only ME1. He's never saw them in person before, but he doesn't ask stupid question like "why u look different?". There is also a lot of human only colonies.

This stupid theory only appeared because Patrick Weekes can't keep his writing in universe.
Look what he did to the geth in Mass Effect 3.

I want to get her PREGNANT

We never get those little blue babies because of the EA Jew.

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whore

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I just she will be happy after destroy ending. And I'm also hope that she collect enough of Shep DNA to make more blue children.

based and bluepilled

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Ashley never lives in my playthroughs but damn she looks like an ape here

Of course, Shep survives. You Shep did survived, right.

>Impying Shepard had never come into contact with an Asari during his long standing military career
>Implying Asari culture doesn't extend past the Citadel
Also any and all media is digital at this point and it's not that far fetched to say that the pretty alien squids that practically run the galaxy can't digitally alter photos.
I agree but it's fun to shit on waifu fags

Yup he did... I just don't know if he made it. Did someone found him? Or it was his last breath? Idk.

What do you think her "gift" was on earth?

the BBC

>but it's fun to shit on waifu fags
What a revolting show of inane cringe faggotry.

You're a bad person. Go throw some merc out of the window.

Mordin

>relying in Mass Effect 2 for lore.
Yikes.

Goddamn nigga u mad.

suka

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Still a canon explanation. Cry more.

based haha poster

oh my lordie this has awakened something in me

playing the first game, how do they change Liaras personality?

Asari wear human armor, artwork depictingAsari look like Asari. The list goes on.
Your theory is shit and based of a morons inability to keep his writing in universe.

Writer's pet Mary Sue

giant
blue
dicks

She becomes more jaded and cynical in Mass Effect 2 and in 3 she somewhat becomes a blend between the first and second games personalities.

Actually this is a relatively good point. In the first game Liara can wear human armor while the other alien squadmates have their own specific armor types.

Incoming Message from Asari Military Command
vocaroo.com/i/s1DGSUtFInw4

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Okay I actually laughed out loud. Well played, user.

Who else makes sure the whole squad lives every time in 2? All you're doing is cutting out content for yourself in 3 by letting any of them die.

>Playing 3

Just play it until everybody gets back together on the citadel. It's not bad at all if you just totally pretend the ending doesn't exist.

>not playing everything up to going after the illusive shitter with Citadel as the finale

CEM and strawberry JAM are the best mods, made the game so much better

Asari are a disgusting species desu. Alien parasites who hide tech, pretending they made it on their own

Like The swedefags who retconned the nazis in wolfenstein, come to think of it

based

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Nice!

>Liara
That's Lightning

Liara.

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Lightning

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Liara

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Her nose looks different and more Jappy there

What will Ali Hillis think of her TTS voice

I guess VAs in general won't be happy about it.

lol at voice actor strikes
voice actors are gonna be obsolete

They will stop acting whatsoever and only sell royalties and voice packs.

We might find space tube worms and bacteria in our lifetime though, isn’t that exciting?

It's time to start hiring voice programmers instead of actors
Learn to code

I work in very future-resistant field already. Anyone under 22 should learn to code though.

KAIIII LEEEEENG!!! YOU SON OF A BIIIITCH

Where can I find the TTS? Is it a website or something?

how do they keep those head folds clean? I imagine dirt and sweat and oil build up in there. Imagine the smell

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Exactly the same way you keep your hair clean.

Why is she so perfect bros?

Hair is light and easy to move and maneuver. Those things are part of their head.

Their scalps secrete a sanitary mucus

I think it was said that they can be moved around a bit. Also water has this great ability to flow everywhere, user.

SO do they use a waterpik to clean it? Lol

RIP first poster

>what is shower

He is now with 72 blue virgins.

That character was made so much worse by having seth green do his voice. I can only think of his garbage show when I hear it.

im so proud of him
damn, now i want to hear the Illusive Man calling Shepard retarted

Damn nigga if you don't wipe up those angery tears your keyboard finna short circuit.

BASED

Still, it's canon. Blame Bioware