You're in the club and this guy slaps your girlfriend's ass. What do you do?
You're in the club and this guy slaps your girlfriend's ass. What do you do?
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drop to my knees in supplication, for I have been blessed to be in the presence of His most Righteous Servant and beg for the Emperor's mercy.
Shoot him in the face for killing my gf with a slap from a chainfist
Slap his ass back!
Get a mop and bucket.
Ask him if slapping a Praetorian's ass is in line with the Codex Astartes.
Witness this 10, in the Emperor's name!
PRAISE THE EMPEROR
Accuse his squad of heresy to the nearest Inquisitor and watch the chain of events unfold as his quad, and maybe even his chapter, get Excommunicate Traitoris . Then praise Tzeentch
Turn him to Chaos through my daemon girlfriend
All that faith can't stand against the truth
based psyker
Just as planned
t-this is the power of the Emperor?!
Ay greet em to me hearty boyz
The Emperor Protects!
>You're in the club and this guy slaps your girlfriend's ass. What do you do?
lol he just slapped Slaanesh`s ass? not gonna end well for him
Suck it, heretics!
>tfw no glandhound gf and Fabius Bile step-grandfather
Fuck bros...
Watch my tyranid girlfriend eat him alive
By the Emperor....
No puny tyranid gonna stop the Flesh Tearer.
THE EMPEROR PROTECTS
Laugh at him for not being part of the primaris master race
>Slaanesh
>gf
Just read Clonelord. Fabius is a cool guy.
If the Emepror is not a god, explain this!
Gets like these are good for the soul.
me an da boys unleash lotsa dakka at 'im
He looks like he can beat a whole nation of dakka and that in hammerspace is what she has. Just keep on walking.
That slap was probably really a punch with a power glove, and my GF "ass" was really the giant hide of a Slaneshii pleasure blob so he probably killed my GF in the "club" which is really Slaneshii rape/party dungeon on a derelict ship so I guess I would whip my dick sword out and go to town.
Tell him that Gabriel Seth could have slapped her harder.
You're a servant too. You're a man. You're a proud member of the human fucking race. The Big E loves you just as much as he loves every man, woman, and child under his protection. You serve him just as much as that space marine does, you just serve in a different way. The Emperor is proud of you, user, don't ever forget it.
Seth is too much of a pussy to slap anyone.
>Challenges Dante and shit talks him openly
>Pussy
Play Gladius.
Meh Donte is mostly a chill guy.
At Nikea they made Amit guard some stupid side tunnel because they were afraid he would start arguing with the Emprah.
Dante's not the type to retaliate. Try that shit with Moloch or Shrike, and we'll see whose flesh is getting torn.
>Minotaurs
They're only good at beating down the already wounded and using their looted arms.
Tell him his Primarch is dead and I have Lord Guilliman's protection. They will seethe knowing they can't do anything and probably devour the nearby guard regiment.
The Emperor looks upon you kindly brother
Doubtful, they got reported by a Canoness for actively eating pdf troops on Armegedon and the Inqusition did nothing. It's nearly impossible for first and second founding chapters to get in trouble unless they do something extremely retarted and even then they will just get a slap on the wrist at best.
How does Nurgle work? Getting diseases and being sick or dying isn't an emotion to feed the warp, so where does he pick up his theme of disease and rot from? He should be a god of apathy, of people who don't care and don't want to change anything, which would fit into him recruiting people who don't want to die. The other three I get their themes, we have human emotions that feed into every one of them, but I don't get where Nurgle's plague and disease aspect comes from at all.
Start preparing her funeral
>All the Chaos gods are embodiments of the hopes, fears and other strong emotions and concepts generated by the mortal races. In Nurgle's case, the source of power is insecurity, denial, self-delusion and the living's fear of inevitable death and disease, as well as their unconscious response to that fear, which is the "power of life", the motivating power of mankind and other races.
And disease is the most direct reflection of such apathy and indifference. What do you think happens if you completely stop giving a shit about personal hygiene, brushing your teeth or taking care of any injuries or ills you might have had? Disease.
>ywn visit the Imperial Palace
Why even live?
The fear of death, and inevitable succumbing to the disease
Is it even open the to public?
You just need to ask nicely.
Many pilgrims spend years or even decades in the (literal) waiting line for an audience in the Golden Throne.
when will it go on sale
>audience
TTS became canon?
Also
>in the Golden Throne
Is that some kind of scat metaphor?
Try to gather up the scattered pieces of her ass from the 4 corners of the globe
Can you actually imagine seeing one of these guys, who are immortalized as mythical angels of death who you've never seen or even realized were real, come to your backwater hive world for the sole purpose of slapping your gf's ass? Could you even get angry? Or would you just accept that your gf just got torpedoed straight into the Cicatrix Maledictum and justify it as holy punishment.
>1 (ONE) percent (%!) chance
All heretics, xenos, and chaos-worshippers are not allowed on this thread.
Why are Imperial Guards and Space Marines fighting each other?
how did you get a 10? tell me your secrets
BY THE EMPEROR....
HE PROTECS
WE HAVE ARRIVED!
EMPEROR BE PRAISED
According to Robert Girlyman, it's okay to have an Eldar wife.
Would Sisters of Battle ever fall to Slaanesh?
For rowboat himself.
WITNESS HIS POWAAHHHH
Reminder there is a place for Gue'vesa who join the fight for the greater good. Human worlds under Tau control are much better off than Imperial Worlds.
You can go to Terra as a pilgrim, but it takes a lifetime just to get there not because of the travel, the fucking waiting line and red tape involved to get there.
WITNESSED FOR THE EMPEROR
Of course not.
Hes not really a god of disease, hes a god of entropy and decay, disease just falls under that category
Setting stabilizers... Ready to fire
>no war hammer bread
>those fuckers still warp here
darn
God-Emperor be praised!
Also its a one way trip.
Nice "greater gooded" human you have there. Are those implants?
needs more dakka
I want to commit heresy with a Tau so badly
Did any pilgrim even make it or allow in the golden throne. Basically all of them “ascended” upon reaching Eternity Gate
NOOOOOOO HE IS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE A CORPSE!!!
Nope. The few who make it to the eternity gate die right there.
Fuck his cute boi pussy.
>white scars support
>no one on a bike
What eternity gate? Did the emperor build a kill room so nobody visits him?
Vile
Be that guy and bring an apocalypse tier 3+ knights army
How in the hell does a tank straight out of WW1 stand up to the horrors of the 41st Millennium?
>stopped playing 40K years ago
>slowly getting back into it because of Killteam
I thought I was free of the plastic jew.
for teh emprah!!! xd
No one sees the emprah except the custodes or the only ones the custodes allows.
It has a big gun
Is this a call for a crusade against the Furry!?!
PRAISE THE EMPEROR
For a second there I thought that guardsman was holding a guitar.
Reminder that the Orks genuinely respect humies due to how much fun we are to fight.
flankers
find a new gf because my gf is dead now
>friend is talking about DMing a Black Crusade Table Top game
>asked me to play
>mentally an "unga bunga me hit hard to win" kind of person
>want to lead a cult as some kind of apostle or sorcerer.
>no idea how to do it.
I want to try something new but it just so different from what i normally like to do.
Should i just stick to the path of unga?
No thats the Orks and Noise Marines's bag.
i luv emp
Farthest anyone ever gets is the Eternity Gate IF THEY'RE LUCKY. The actual throne room is off limits to everyone except the Custodes, Primarchs and whatever blessed bastard is deemed worthy to enter. This is mostly because it's also where the Astronomicon is housed, which is literally the one thing keeping the Imperium the Imperium these days, so they're not taking any chances
i bet she fucks like a fighter jet
She can't remove her armor.
Yeah, she'd probably literally burn your dick to ashes with prometheum from her snatch.
Good. I prefer it stays on
Because it has better weapons, better armor, is reliable and half the other races rely on weak and breakable muh advanced tech shit. The Russ rules supreme.
its hull is made from diamondillium.
sloped armor is pointless in the far, far, future I guess
It can shoot down eldar and tau fighters with captains just eyeballing it
I cant fit on a condom so I guess it's even
Because the scale of production and the people who work on them have no real idea how they work as they are usually missing instruction pages on them.
Also when shooting endless waves of nids and orks you dont really need super high tech weaponry
...
How the fuck have the tau not been glasses yet
I roll a leadership test, probably fail, and try and get the fuck out
By the Emperor, we've won!
you know for a franchise with such amazing art and stupidly deep lore it sure has a lack of good video games
Who would win between her and Saint Celestine, if they happened to fight hand to hand on a planet made of mud and jello? Asking for a friend.
Reminder that the Techpriests and their Skitari beat feet as soon as the Orks made landfall on Graia. Meanwhile the Imperial Guard held the line. Even going so far as to repair their own equipment and doing a good job at it too.
heretic guard unit
or renegade marines
Because it's 40k and there is only war
Onlookers.
so i'm reading the esinhorn books now and i am really enjoying them, though i hear there arent actually that many decent WH40k books anyway, i remember hearing about some IG dude who always runs away or something but lucks himself into saving the day or something along those lines
does anybody know what i am talking about?
Depends, what are they wearing again? Asking for a friend too haha what a weird question right?
To be honest, this is a agriculture farming tractor repurposed into a tank.
Their "metal" plating is apparently absurdly advance. This allows thicker absurd simple designs over conventional ergonomic sloped designs with inferior materials.
2
You're talking about the greatest hero of the imperium, Commissar Ciaphas Cain. He doesn't run away, merely advances in the opposite direction.
By the emperor I'll join the guard if I get an 7 or an 8
Because their shield generators apparently eat large scale weapons
You know if The Imperial Guard relied less on human wave tactics and more on modern combined arms tactics they could actually make some headway.
that is some dangerous thinking citizen..
Because no one can really be assed to go deal with them. The Imperium has countless war fronts so they can't expend too many resources dealing with the dumb blue guys dicking about in the ass end of the galaxy, for example
You've done well.
based HAHA posters
>mfw DOW2 was literally the best and only good 40k game we will ever get
you can make a case for battlefleet gothic, but 40k will forever be filled with mediocre garbage from here on out
Frankly the Imperium has more important things to worry about. The Tau don't make nearly enough noise to actually bother the Imperium, and Chaos and Tyranids are much bigger threats. So the Imperium tolerates their presence for now.
Reminder that Nassir Amit turned to Khorne.
Sure, but the question applies to every other faction as well, not just the imperium. Why haven't the Orks stomped them to the ground? Why haven't the nids eaten up all their biomass, why hasn't Chaos stomped them under their boot? etc. etc.
>Why haven't the nids eaten up all their biomass
This one is actually easy. Because theres half a galaxy of Imperial Space between them and the nearest hive fleet. Also Tau don't have much of a warp presence so they tend not to notice them.
The first DOW and its expansions are pretty good, Space Marine was awesome, and I`m really enjoying Mechanicus right now, but I agree with you for the future.
hopefully the tv show wont be shit, that might get GW to get off their ass and do more not tabletop shit
dem blu bois no gud wif melee
isolated location
hard on for the emperor's corpse
Because Orks generally don't act as a unified group. A single Ork Waaagh isn't enough to crush the Tau.
The main nid fleets haven't reached the Tau systems.
And Chaos is in the same boat as the Imperium. They can only can get so much shit out into the galaxy, and they're fighting fucking everyone.
WITNESS THIS TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OY GITZ! DIS ORKY ENUFF!?
How?
careful their, psyker. getting a little too omniscient
He CAN'T keep getting away with it!
Witnessed.
Emperor's bowels!
>ORKX-78
heh
By the emperor...WE'VE WON!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The Man-Emperor of Mankind Protects.
That's a weird looking Blastmaster. What does it run on?
PRAISE
R
A
I
S
E
Flamer fuel mixed with daemonette semen
IT'S A SIGN FROM OUR LORD ON TERRA!
Ruffle the little scamp's hair. If he had any hair, that is
Blessed be Dimetrus
>Heavy armored big ass dude
>Leaves head exposed
>Literally a shot from the weakest pistol can kill him with a simple headshot
Sometimes I don't understand who creates these stupid designs.
Those thicc paints.
I hate how awkwardly the gravis captain stands.
Whats so thick about them? I don't paint much so I'm not sure if I'm missing something here
An autopistol bullet would probably bounce off an astartes skull
So why don't the Sisters have any heavy armor?
>Flamer fuel mixed with daemonette semen
>Flamer fuel
Eh, I guess as long it's not just that.
Because he's been genetically modified to the point his skull can survive most weapons.
Look at the roughness of the paint.
I HAVE WITNESSED, BROTHER
Those abs
I wish there were more 40k games but also more company made OC chapters, even if you don't actually play as the marines
Seth? More like SEETHE, am I right?
Grimdark is the best workout.
Call the doctor, she's probably bleeding out. I mean you see those chainsaws right next to his hand?
I think i see what you mean. It's more prominent on the metal colored bits.
The white and red of the emblem is probably the most prominent.
Ah i see it. Thanks you
reminder: space marines have cocks and are capable of having sex and even getting women pregnant. they just choose not to.
PRAISE THE EMPEROR!
>reminder: space marines have cocks
Source?
>brands everything after himself
>primaris marines call him pater
>primaris marines look at the emperor as the omnissiah
So how long until Cawl reveals his backstab and tries to establish himself as king of all humans?
Find a new girlfriend because clearly she was a heretic and deserved to be exploded by the mighty slapping palm of a space marine.
No.
Every year at Sanguinala, a few people are chosen to look upon the Eternity Gate where the Angel stood against Horus.
Inquisitor Crowl caught a glimpse of it after chasing down and killing a Dark Eldar who had been asked to take a look at the throne, but had no intention of doing so, he just wanted to be able to see the Emperor before the throne stopped working
Cawl would never betray the omnissiah!
WE CLAIM THIS 4 FOR CHAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS
>Chaos
I CLAIM THISH 3 IN DA NAME OF CHAOS
Lead a Khornate cult user.
Dear emperor. Who ever owns dawn of war right now.. force them to make dow4. And make it well.
>Snow on the mountains
Imperial propoganda; Terra has been without a functioning water cycle for well over 5000 years
Ha. Filthy heretic
Daemons and heretics will fall before this 7
>Black Crusade Table Top game
Just trying to make any fucking character in this game is like navigating the warp by waving your bare ass around and saying "First one in, gets to win!"
Manlets. When?! Will?!
praise his name
Wew. I wonder if their dicks grow in proportion to the rest of the body.
>no necron mommy gf
Reminder that only Emperor's children receive gets!
That's dust user. The Emperor's psychic presence is so strong it depresses the entire atmosphere and there is no wind near the Palace
Praise the name of the Emperor of Mankind and his loyal sons that have protected us against foul xenos, heretics, and mutants. I give my thanks that the Emperor will know I am a faithful servant.
The eternity is the gate leading to the Throne room. Only chosen Custodes can step through the gate to see the Emperor. His background radiation is strong enough to knock Custodes unconscious and rusted their armor. Normal humans would just exploded. The Emperor is a walking nuclear reactor.
Rape his ass, then get my ass raped, then rape surrounding marine's ass.
Who's up for a cultural exchange?
Based
And none too early
Good job lad
Fact: We Tyranids WILL consume everything in the galaxy and cannot be stopped. So you should just lie down and accept your fate.
Guardmans is one of the most common resources they have, with trillion of them everywhere. Tank need resources to build maintain, and bless to ward up the tainted of chaos. Also combine arm doctrine practically no longer exist after the Horus Heresy, save for a few exception. To limit the efficiency of a unit and prevent them from turning or rebel effectively. Like if an ground army rebel, have fun getting blockage and glasses by a fleet admiral who probably have some beef or another with the army. That why the name of the game for imperial is war of attrition on all front.
>Imperial Guard are assisted by the Imperial Navy and are ferried to other planets to wage war.
So they're...Space Marines.
>Space Marines are considered the defending angels and guardians of Humanity.
So they're...Imperial Guard?
Get a new gf because that ass is destroyed by his metal hand.
nah id rather live under necron rule... no seriously they stopped full cleansing and just subjugating world and ruling them, and making them better
>Come to replace you.
Well yes but actually no
*Blocks your path*
>tsundere eldar
>delicious brown rouge trader
who else is gonna get added to Guilliman's harem?
Cocaiiiiine
He's probably got an iron halo incorporated into the gorget or power pack of that terminator armor he's wearing. An Iron Halo is a forcefield that can deflect a fucking tank round, so his head is better defended than his body.
Gabe is gonna have a field day.
>Dark Eldar
In all honesty though its arguably worse to be captured by Dark Eldar than by chaos worshipers
I guess attempt to wipe off whatever is left of my girlfriend off the walls. P-p-praise be emporor...
based Bobby G making the imperium less shit and exposing the galaxy to superior human dick
The only way right now for Robby G to make the Imperium less shit without inciting a Civil War is to get back to Alien genocide.
Someone post kino Necrons
he looks like a faggot
Death Guard is trying
At least Chaos will accept any one.
the astronomicon lights the way through numbers. checked
I want a cute sob gf
like we needed MORE levels of space marines
>the other tau pics of this artist
Do you think Trazyn would hang out with non-necrons just so he could get a reaction when showing off all the cool shit he's stolen?
>Every year at Sanguinala, a few people are chosen to look upon the Eternity Gate where the Angel stood against Horus.
>Inquisitor Crowl caught a glimpse of it after chasing down and killing a Dark Eldar who had been asked to take a look at the throne, but had no intention of doing so, he just wanted to be able to see the Emperor before the throne stopped working
Which book?
lies
they have no genital nor do they need them for killing xenos
Salamanders goes home to their home world and make families.
Emperor's Children will have mostly have dicks, multiple of them or vaginas or dickbutts/buttdicks/vaginadicks/dickvaginas or whatever fucking shit
>they have no genital nor do they need them for killing xenos
user, spacemarines, through their various geneseed, have weaponized bodily function like mucus and spit. Why do you think jizz can't be used in the service of the Emperor?
Empire is pretty gay tbqh
The empire is pretty much an equal opportunity employer sans the space marines since the meat grinder doesn't give a fuck what it eats.
agree wit diz git
BURN XENOS, GAS HERETICS, CHAOS A FUCK. GUARDGANG KILL EM ALL.
Reminder that the Catachans are as tough as any Space Marine.
Think the Guard puts pinup art on their vehicles?
No they aren't.
there are guard units that dont human wave though user.
>Armageddon Steel Legion
>Elysian Drop Troopers
>Catachan Jungle Fighters
>Tanith First and Only
>Savlar Chem-dogs
>Tempestus Scions
>Luciferian Blacks
tactics and equipment from all folds of the imperium are utilized. not everyone is a Krieger or Maccabian Janissary fren.
>Fortunate Son plays in the distance.
Bunch of uneducated savages.
The Planet broke before the Guard did.
>dunks on your entire space marine squadron while shouting memes
Heh, NOTHING personelll.
Isn't that fucked? Haunts me to this day.
Literally due to there being worse shit to worry about which the tau are starting to realize
Depends on who starts grinding first, you know as a joke haha
I smite his dumb ass
Actually recently the death guard started an adventure in Tau space which has caused them to collectively shit themselves
Give this man a world to rule
>which has caused them to collectively shit themselves
Who? The Tau or the Death Guard?
Who do you think?
Hey man, you never know with 40k. Maybe the Tau's commie healthcare and sanitation habits scared the Nurglites.
From the few instances we have of people talking about marine dicks in HH and Grey Knight books, they are horse tier which makes women seethe they will never get fucked by a space marine.
I want to clean and polish those leggings / thigh armor.
While she's still wearing them.
Carrion Throne
bump