Battletoads 2019

>Monkey's Paw

>level is just a straight line with 2 screens of enemies randomly teleporting in and a boss

nani

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Is this on Polygon difficulty

Is it supposed to be that boring?

>everything moves slow as fuck
>stock sound effects out the ass (nice 0 budget there)
>everything looks like CalArts
>game CONSTANTLY has a fucking pop-up tip window on-screen telling you how to play the game

god it's like everything I hate about modern games all rolled up into one shitty """remake"""

The worst part is that the "80s saturday morning cartoon" artstyle looks decent enough. But the gameplay and all the animations are so slow and stilted. You can really tell they had 0 faith in this game succeeding and gave some barebones budget to a bunch of intern programmers/designers/artists.
Battletoads didn't deserve this.

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>everything looks like CalArts
The game looks like ass but you clearly don't know what shitty CalArts art looks like.

I just hate how in games with this kind of art, the sprites all look like they're not actually "in" the game, like they're completely disconnected from the background and floating in front of it. The sprites themselves don't even look bad, they're just not well integrated into the rest of the visuals.

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Looks good to me. Can't wait to play it on gamepass

They just don't look cool anymore.

Jesus, christ. I didn't expect it to be that bad. Why is it so disgustingly slow?

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Did they seriously just insert a fedora tipping Athiest joke in at the end?

No I'm seriously confused. This isn;t even a joke, it's literally denying the concept of the afterlife in a FICTIONAL game about fucking talking frogs.

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>The worst part is that the "80s saturday morning cartoon" artstyle looks decent enough.

dilate tranny

>Banjo-Kazooie should get a new game

cope, seethe, have sex. looks like i win pal bye bye

I feel bad for battle toads fans, they waited years for another game of to get monkey pawed

>thar art style
why
They got it right in KI.
youtu.be/3xzwafCJ28I

>Love
the music is fucking awesome and and obvious call back to the old days.

>Hate
the art style

>General complaints
Why did they go through all of the trouble of giving them all unique personalities and designs, while not voice acting them?
It seems like a huge misstep. I mean, if you're going to go this cheesy SAT-AM Cal-arts direction, then give them larger than life voices.

There is an afterlife
Its just that its empty

I'd like to add to the love part

>Those backgrounds and advertisements
This is probably the strongest part of the art style. It looks cool.

yeah horrible art direction and animation breaks model way too much attempting to be wacky.

if i was put in charge of this i would immediately fire everyone working on it and scrap everything and start making a 3D beat em up/hack and slash game in the style of the Killer Instinct Battletoads models.

Hey, don't insult Newgrounds like that.

That's what you get when you pay artists money. This is what you get when you pay in exposure.

I'd go with more detailed 2D sprites instead of the rubbery cartoony art style they have.
One of the cool parts about things like Battletoads on the SNES and arcade was the "computer rendered" look. It really contrasted when they transformed their limbs. It looked like it had weight to it, you know, like real finishers.

That looks good.

What the fuck.

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>Most attacks don't hit even when they clearly should
>Enemies take forever to get up
>You can't hit them on the ground

I'll stick with the old ones

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I'm not complaining about the foot, but I'm not a fan of the lack of weight that they give them.
Moves like that should hit like a truck.

The animation itself is fine but the art style and general aesthetic is so awful. Why couldn't they have given it a heavy metal early 90's Nicktoons vibe instead of this glossy thick outline shit?

Why not just go balls deep and give it a "heavy metal" art style.

I would want a Battletoads game down in the style of prerendered sprites, like DKC

What the fuck. What. The. Fuck.

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Not a damn thing.

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Only music is decent.

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>those walk speeds

oh no no no no no no

>What if we took Cuphead, and removed the SOUL

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...

It's because the gameplay is so intrinsically videogamey that it looks jarring when you marry it with these high-res handdrawn visuals that are nonetheless confined to a movement plane from the 16-bit era. Also, the Lizardcube art is second rate.

Holy shit
I wanted to defend the game but hot damn it's so slow. This shit doesn't even look redeemable in the same vein as Banjo Kazooie Nuts and Bolts. It's complete mega ass in the same vein as that hololens shit Microsoft tried to pull with Conker a few years back
Yea Forums you might actually be right about something for once

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why the fuck is it slower than the original games?

every single goddamn time

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>It takes a full 3 minutes if fighting the same enemy load out before you can scroll the screen

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The fuck even is that attack where Pimple turns into a babboon? He just lazily flails his arms and it's supposed to be one of his "big" moves.
Also does the screen ever fucking scroll? Whose fucking idea was it to have a fight, then walk as no enemies appear, and then fight? It just adds to the FUCKING SLOW feel of it all.
Even the music is a less energetic remix of the original song fuck me.

It should have been like this

youtube.com/watch?v=6qXeqzkzRB4

This fucking sucks

sucks that we didn't get more of this kind of look

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It's like when A Hat in Time put an autistic "CAPITALISM BAD AND NO WORK" joke in a kid's game.

The music is based (believe it's the theme from the first stage of Battlemaniacs) but the movement and how enemy function look terrible. The art/animation here doesn't look as unappealing to me anymore. Dunno if that's just me getting used to it or notable improvements were made from the e3 reveal. Also not a fan of the random animal transformation attacks.

>using a term coined by John K.

..user.

My dad from Nintendo said this. Gamestop got so pissed that they spent a large chunk of their money to micosoft so that they can make a Battletoads game so bad that no one would try to call for it
You got no one to blame but yourselves.

>tfw no third person action game with buff frogs

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Why is Rare a rotten corpse now?

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they got bought by microsoft and microsoft very heavily underutilized their everything.

Holy fuck I nearly fell asleep watching this. What is this, the Battlesnails?

>2021
>call up Gamestop
>"Hey, do you have Battletoads in stock?"
>"Yes we do."
>"Oh."
End of an era.

>2021
>GameStop not being bankrupt

KI 2 may be in the works. Hopefully they have a big guest roster starting off (bigger than 6 characters would be nice). Also I am still here praying some company decides to make a smash-like fighting game with different characters for pc.

>Watch these 8 minutes of gameplay on repeat
>It's so boring that time begins to stretch into infinity

See you fags later, I'm going to live forever.

>Call up Gamestop
>"This number has been connected or is no longer in service."
>Busy signal

That's more like it.

My gamestop had a tournament when DBFZ came out. If you preordered you could play so i preordered and won the tournament and got a cool statue from Xenoverse 2. If they did that more often or held tournaments in general with an entry fee I guarantee more people would buy from them since not everyone is gonna win the major leagues but sometimes small local stuff can be fun too.

>John K.
Peta?

I too enjoy violent nipple insertion

the art style totally rips off the new ninja turtles show.

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that's thematically appropriate considering the history of the toads.

Gamestop actually used to do this in my small city, but corporate shut that shit down.
Local Gamestop was even selling more.
The manager resigned shortly after.

That art style is still trash.
Some artists need their hands broken
This

I mean I believe it. Tournaments that make you preorder or have some pay to enter setup can get tons of people in there. Plus the rewards can just be stock shit that hasn't sold in a while related to the game and no one will care. Manager probably resigned because without the community the job was shit.

From a liability side though not everyone is gonna take losing to certain strategies very well so they probably don't want fights or some stupid shit.

You'd probably have to up the entry fee to pay for security or something.
There is the possibility that the insurance wouldn't cover incidents in that context. You'd be surprised to the degree that insurance controls business actions.

I believe it but if the options are go bankrupt or start becoming the hub for local video game fun then I think finding a way to make the latter work would be ideal. Last I heard gamestop is sitting on a massive amount of money so they definitely have the funds to change something about their model to save it.

The shittier it looks, the better the animation quality apparently. It's a trade-off and it depends on what you value more, looks or animation.

>enemies have health bars
>basically a streets of rage knockoff instead of a quick beatemup with hard as fuck level design
>godawful artstyle

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The irony is that foot looks like some Ren & Stimpy business.

I can't believe I'm going to admit that forced animation is a real thing now.

>They call the Health bars "momentum"

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>replace iconic Giant Spikey Boot Kick with a literal bare foot for the foot-fags
>gameplay is boring and slow compared to the arcade version from 1994
I just emulated the arcade version recently and realized why everyone loved that game. It was so good. This remake looks like it was made by people who never played the original at all.

Now this was made by people who loved Battletoads.

>"80s saturday morning cartoon"
It doesn't look or feel 80s at all. It feels like a modern day rebooted cartoon. Kinda like Rise of the TMNT.

>everything looks like CalArts
No it does not, but does look very shitty.

Either the game is pretty slow moving or those are western game journalists playing the game.