Wake up

Try to taunt the executioner by letting him know that my ancestors are smiling down on me, then ask him if he can say the same, then try to sneak away while he thinks about it

Resolve to quit drinking again

>Imperial
>Stormcloaks
>Empire
>Skyrim
>Hammerfell
>Ulfric
>High King
>Jarl
>Windhelm
>Sovngarde
>Nord
>Rorikstead
>General Tullius
>Shor
>Mara
>Dibella
>Kynareth
>Akatosh
>Thalmor
>Helgen
>Riverwood
>The Voice
>Talos
>Oblivion
How was any newcomer to the series supposed to follow this?

>unzip

Who says they are? All they really needed to know was Viking guys vs. Roman guys and also dragons. Everything is just fluff.

>Read nigga, read

>turn music off
>mute
>wait for the prologue to end so i can edit my character

It's hard to connect with a game, when it throws a ton of jargon out of context at the player before you even gain control of your character.

run away while zigzagging quickly to confuse the archer's aim, get away, learn to cast spells with my feet and become known as the bound foot mage that destroyed the th*lmor

Aww shit I forget to enable Alternate Start

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>0000000f
you know you can just type f

That's just fantasy settings, you can't dip in without spending at least a short time hearing names and references you don't know anything about. I'll take that over a lengthy bloated info dump before beginning at all.

I'm just surprised that so many normies love Skyrim, when to get the most out of the game, you need to be familiar with a lot of ES lore and concepts.

context
you already know what the empire and stormcloaks are all about if you payed attention to the damn intro, they're referred to as rebels or traitors, so obviously you understand that this empire has a problem of rebels. you know who the divines and daedra are based on how people always say something like "talos save me" or something so you know they're referring to a god.

The most of the game is dungeons and sword fighting and loot and magic and knocking enemies down with shouts. The average player doesn't care for the setting's overarching story and lore, it's really not a fun-handicap to not know it.

Maybe not a fun handicap, but the best part of ES (at least to me) is the way that the lore is integrated into the exploration, quests, and so on. If the only thing I wanted to do was go into dungeons and kill shit, there are better games for that. I just find it odd how popular the ES games are, when a big part of the enjoyment is the world they take place in which requires a lot of knowledge to really appreciate.

Turn to other monitor to browse Yea Forums to pass the time.

based

Force my monitor to 30 hertz because Bethesda can't even code a god damn intro to a video game without going full retard and tying the frame rate to the physics engine.

Us 4channers who know how to mod love it too.

RIP 148 porn mod Skyrim. Died to a fucking format because my new drive had the exact fucking same space as my 2nd newest drive and I failed the coinflip.

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they fixed that in the special edition

Fuck the special edition.

Breaks every mod known to man so they can push that Creation Club for profit user mods bullshit.

Enjoy your horse armour and pet mudcrab while I'm banging your Skyrim waifu/husbando/everything you ever loved in that game with brutal consentual rape.

This. You can ignore leading zeroes for vanilla items.

>pause the game
>come up with an idea for a character
>decide wich playstyle that character would use
>install mods to enhance that playstyle
>have fun

Old news SE is pretty decent now when it comes to mods. They ported a lot of them over too and is preferred.

>your name is... Dig Nick Bigger?
>yes

>Flaunting
>Underage
>Neophytes

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Spin around in the cart because someone fucked up with mods.

This cutscene bugged out for me on my first run back at launch. I had to restart the game.

start crying and pleading they got the wrong girl

Realize i might have to make a new character again

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>going to die
>one dude runs
>gets hit by an arrow and dies
>”anyone else feel like running?”
gonna cut my head off anyway, so why not?

That's not how you get to Sovngarde.

>ulfric just wants power
based off what?

Call Hadvar a nigger, dab on the Legate, CHIM Alduin out of existance and go back to Cyrodiil and play a good game instead.

Go to Riften and start living as a thief.

they can't stop all of us

>Molest little girl
>get arrested
>go to jail for 10 days
>repeat

Why is this mediocre 8 year old game still getting so much hype and praise?

Neither is being beheaded without going down fighting.

People are fucking aching for a new elder scrolls game, Yea Forums has es threads round the clock at this point.

>Play Argonian
>Suddenly have a lore justification to be detached yet easily assimilate
wow that was hard

>going to die
>one dude runs
>archers keep missing
>dude dies of an heart attack
>”anyone else feel like running?”
ftfy

Skyrim is a good game that is made great with mods. Also, Yea Forums always has at least one ES thread in the catalog.

Play with my lizard tits.

I am dreaming.

... What's my name?

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>no pee and fart
Why even bother

Because there have been no good open world games in those 8 years

Is this bait? You're not having all these names and shit thrown at you at once. You're following a simple story along as a fellow prisoner of fantasy.vikings being captured by fantasy-romans in a town called Helgen, then a dragon attacks and you escape. You learn the rest of the world step by step. It's really not that hard, user.

More mods than its predecessors.

I gave birth to a male goat that ended up impregnating me while I was in jail for murderhobo.

That goat ended up impregnating me in a cell and following me out after I served my sentence.

And you are worried about my PC not being able to pee and shit on the floor while this shit is happening?!?

I’d link that kawaiipirahna thane video, but he took it down

Skyrim isn't good .Everything else just sucks.
> But I prefer game X
Water finds its own level user.

>90% of them are weird sex mods
>9% are acceptable sex mods

of shit, one of them had a deathnote!

>wake up
>hey, you're finally awake
>game crashes
>actually wake up
Fuck

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which one sounds like a warrior?
>defies his fate, attempts to escape captors with hands still bound, fighting to the last, killed by an archer
>submits, kneels down like a cuck, has his bitch head cut off by some blind headsman retard

>run like a bitch
>kneel like a bitch
Both sound pretty bitch tier to me. The correct answer is to tear out a guard's throat and go down fighting.

>My ancestors are smiling at me, can yours say the same?

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Sovngarde is for fags anyway

>My ancestors are smiling at me, can yours say the same?
>My ancestors are probably laughing at me right now for kneeling before the empire and getting executed

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It's headed by Lorkhan's right hand man, user.

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Argonian

>yeah, boy! Take that axe to the neck like a man! I'm so proud!

>You dindu nuffin boi! You wuz good Nord! You prayed dem Talos everyday!

Kek, fucking dumb Nords.

definitely not high elves

.

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>Play game
>Reach first dragon fight
>Remember I'll have to fight them every 10 minutes
>Uninstall

maybe it isn't mediocre then