PRESS "P" TO PEE ON ITS GRAVE

P

This is just glorified indieshit that will expose as the hack he is forever

P

looks kino. cant wait

ABSOLUTELY SEETHING

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How will this be a best seller? The "gameplay" looks like total fucking trash, its just the same old walking simulator shit except this time its been marketed as a new genre, not to mention kojima getting his own goddamn trailer at a fucking video game conference

P

Nice try Snoyshill, this """""">game"""""" will bomb as hard as your censorstation 5

PP

cope

If you pee during the timefall, will your penis get old and wrinkly???????

People seem to hate the kojima the person rather than his games. Grow up you man children freaks and separate creators from the content they create, you'll enjoy things a lot more then.

>its another "a Playstation games makes Yea Forums angry" thread

>When the trailer for Kojima is better than the actual game trailer

fuckin preordered

no it won't. so many idiots have already pre ordered, kojima has already made 16th of what he'll blow on his next game

What in the FUCK was that?

But the piss keybinding is R though

>Press S to seethe

The game looks like ass you retard, its just another fucking walking simulator with tons of fucking cutscenes

Post Mama milkies

>The "gameplay" looks like total fucking trash
Gamers don't care about gameplay anymore. They don't even care about the "experience". They want to be a part of the culture and Death Stranding is going to be the forefront of the games as arts bullshit for years. People will buy it to say that they've played it even if they quit 20 minutes in.
It'll be garbage but people will buy it and every publication is going to talk about how brave it is. It'll play like shit, the story won't hold up under its own weight, and anyone with half a brain will know how awful it is, but we're dealing with gamers and game reviewers, the dumbest consumers and the most ill-suited journalists in the world.

>*tactically gets behind you to start pissing on my mushrooms*

Heh, nothing peesonal kid

the pissing button is R not P

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COPE

>le "simulator" meme
Try and critique a game without using spastic buzzwords. Using this shallow level of handing waving you can say moronic shit like this about literally EVERY game.

I'm excited and getting the steelbook do you guys still respect me.

P

Only if you piss on the steelbook so mushrooms will start growing

P

Alright hows this, the game is being claimed to be innovative with even talks of it being a whole new genre, when from the gameplay we've seen its literally just another game where you walk from point A to point B and occasionally fight enemies with some fluff like ladders or pissing thrown in at random? Its painfully obvious Kojima blew his budget on the actors

>empty lifeless world

What did this talentless hack spend his budget on?

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WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO IN THIS GAME

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS MAKES BREATH OF THE WILD LOOK LIKE RED DEAD REDEMPTION.

WHERE ARE THE ITEMS
WHERE ARE THE ENEMIES
WHERE ARE THE WEAPONS
WHERE IS THE ATMOSPHERE
WHERE ARE THE EASTER EGGS.
WHERE IS ANYTHING.

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95% of all gameplay we've seen from Death Stranding so far (Which is like a total of 6 minutes, maybe, and it releases next month) is walking. Just because you yourself can't count the simulator criticism doesn't make it a meme. Open your eyes you fucking Kojima cultist.

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Looked boring as fuck, lmao why were people so hyped?

It is perfect. Better than i expected. You go anywhere. Do anything. Kojima redefine gaming once again.

I know youre a literally retarded child who has never done any type of work but throwing money at a game doesnt magically "make" it or put more features in, money goes to fucking paying the people making the game for as many hours as they sit there making it for. Go fucking kill yourself idiot

it's not even a PS game, isn't it coming out for PC?

>ME NO SEE OBJECTIVE MARKERS AND DIALOGUE TREES AND FETCH QUESTS BORING GAME DEAD GAME MORE LIKE DEAD GAME STRANDING

lets give him his 5 minutes.
tomorrow cyberpunk gameplay drops and he will be forgotten again

Looks dope, a breath of fresh air when video games are becoming more and more shit.

it's minimalism kino like Shadow of the Colossus

6 minutes of literal nothing.

The only gameplay we've seen, is walking around an insanely huge open world.

That's going to be boring as fuck.

people were actually looking forward to this

>we don't see dong
One of these days developers are going to have men pee standing up with a visible dong, and it'll be glorious.

PS4 owner here, i won't touch this shit with a ten inch pole

P on OP's

S.

>silent hills died for this
Worst timeline

Sex with Mads and Norman.

I can only imagine the retardation on this board if SOTC never came out on the PS2 and was instead a PS4 game

it will be pure kino. Unbelievers will be smitten by god

shadow of the colossus was a game where you fight thirteen unique gigantic bossfights that all required different approaches.
in death stranding you walk and piss and you might shit at best.

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The "innovation" that they are talking about is not going to come from a new gameplay mechanic, but rather a form of PvP type interaction and asynchronization. If you'd followed anything about the game you'd know that. Regardless, if you expect the game to be some new groundbreaking life altering experience then you're a moron and you're going to be disappointed. In my opinion it looks like it's going to be a fun game with an amalgamation of already existing gameplay mechanics I enjoy done well. That's what a rational person would expect.
>95% of all gameplay we've seen from Death Stranding so far is walking
>le reddit level of retarded stats
If you want your critique to be taken seriously then don't make up braindead "stats" as your argument

cult behavior

>isn't it coming out for PC
No. Why would Yea Forums be so angry if it was coming to PC?

>If you want your critique to be taken seriously then don't make up braindead "stats" as your argument
You love deflecting every once of truth, don't you?
I'll do this one for you.
>le deflection meme

youtube.com/watch?v=eD1ywoL19g0
woah it's almost like you retards don't know anything about the game or something

P

SOTC today probably would've had all 48 colossi

God I need an image of Joost dabbing for how much of a shit show DS is looking like.
Joostbros always win baby!

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probably, but even if it did it would also 100% be shat on this board as a one and done indie tier cinematic walking simulator

>walk away from boss gameplay

kek, nice cutscene bro

i agree with you and you can add movies series etc. But i think death stranding looked pretty comfy.

maybe.
maybe not.
you're arguing something that cant be proven which exposes you as a mental midget.

You made a up a bullshit fake stat after I asked for serious and non meme critique, of course I'm going to call you out on it. Put some effort into your critique and I'll reply to you seriously like I did the other user who actually didn't act like a meme addicted spastic.

have shitty oc

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>could easily see that No Man's Sky would be Shit
>could tell from the trailers this would be crap
Is everyone just blind or something? It's super easy to read into this stuff.

You've already watched the fucking trailers and you yourself know it's been majority walking and a very slim minority wonky combat. Fuck off and quit being an obtuse retard.

>ignore the part where he's shooting it

>Walking... walking... walking... pissing... walking..
Revolutionary. Absolutely stunning gameplay.
>I-It's supposed to be Immersive!
Fuck off. Aesthetics don't make a game interesting. Good stunning gameplay does.

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>Climbing
>repelling
>swimming
>motor bikes
>stealth
>1st person
>melee combat
>gun combat
>bosses
>survival elements
>LE 95% WALKING!!!!!
Again be serious and you'll get a serious discussion.

>comfy
Die a violent death

It's an absolute fact that most gameplay we've seen has being walking and this is specifically what I've been arguing about.
Can you say anything except "get serious" you genuine fucking cultist. There you go again acting obtuse.

>It's an absolute fact that most gameplay we've seen has being walking
Yeah all of 5 fucking minutes of gameplay

Someone make a Gif of Sam falling from that Cliff

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this looks exactly like skyrim 2011

I won't be if Kojima is free to use his retarded ideas as usual. He is way to childish and scientifically ignorant to be taken seriously.

The "majority" of most open world games is walking. The majority of MGS3 was either walking or crawling. You can say this about literally most games. That's a given you fucking moron. Only one being obtuse is here.
>95% WALKING!!!!
>IF YOU IGNORE EVERYTHING ELSE

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Wake up and smell the flowers numbnuts. Only 1% of the gameplay footage was those things you listed. If anything that's a sign that the entirety of the game will revolve around you walking around for god knows how long.

P

I feel bad for Reedus.

dumb phone poster

i disagree, atmosphere and aesthetic can make the game good enough to be considered good, but this game has neither

>piss gameplay shown
>"WOAH SO THE GAME IS JUST ABOUT PISSING HUHHHHH"
>walking gameplay shown
>"HAHA EPIC WALKING SIMULATOR BRO"
>stealth gameplay shown
>...
>boss gameplay shown
>...
>melee combat shown
>...
>ranged combat shown
>....

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>waaaaaah why won't he tell me everything that happens like he did with mgsv

unfortunately this
It's a shame that such games like The Void are underappreciated while Kojima's notWalkingSimulator will get the best scores.

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So these are Kojima graphics huh?

I can tell the same from cyberpunk unironically

why did they choose that to be the 6 minutes of gameplay to showcase
smfh

Are they? Yea Forums hates this "game" and normies think it looks boring

You had one job

based kojimbo trolling brainlets and filtering plebs who will buy his game anyway

Rent Free

So instead he threw it to washed up actors to suck up and build his reputation in hollywood, like any power hungry idiots?

God I hope Kojima can just make whatever niche games he wants now, fuck needing to please everyone

>but this game has neither

Among AAA games? It looks like it has a fuckton of aesthetic and atmosphere. It's just the gameplay that looks boring as hell.

This, but to be fair, the focus in gameplay trailers has awlays been on Norman Reedus walking around.

>no shitting your pants mechanic
Kojimbles lost his touch

>tfw PT is the best game Kojima has made since MGS2 and it's not even available anymore
Such a waste. I'm just sad that all that effort went into making something like Death Stranding.

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>gameplay trailer
>literally no gameplay

but...the piss...

fuck needing to please anyone
what the actual fuck is this game? babysitting and deliveries? this is what he was hyping up as some unique new genre of game?

looks like a regular shitstation exclusive that will be shilled on here by delusional shitstationers

Is the online going to consist of people pissing on each other? What is Kojima trying to tell us?

I wish the steelbook had better art. I was actually going to buy a steelbook for the first time for this game until I saw the actual cover.

Kojima fans are basically rick & morty fans of the vidya.

Yeah, I'm not sure why they went with a close-up of Reedus' face instead of any of the actually interesting looking shots we've seen in the trailers, or something with the baby pod.

Teaser, he said full reveal at tgs in September 12 but keep on shitposting by all means

What Kojima fanbase? I see more people shitting on the supposed fanbase then being part of it.

For me, it's Mama

>I GET BIG HOLLYWOOD ACTOR
>THAT MEANS ME BIG TOO RIGHT?
Kojima suffers from David Cage syndrome. And the funniest thing is t when it comes to star casts, this isn't even the best one in gaming. 007 Everything or Nothing had William Dafoe, Judi Dench, John Cleese, Heidi Klum, Richard Kiel and Pierce Brosnan

It's not up to him what the cover looks like it's up to Sony.

YOU ARE ABOVE EVEN THE BLADDER
I AWARD YOU THE TITLE OF BIG BLADDER

Go back to Japan Kojambles. You're a fucking fraud

There's only 15 million on this planet, what are you on about with billions???

Okay I will shitpost until I see some real gameplay and not a walking simulator.

I pressed "P" to preorder :^)

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youre fucking retarded if you actually think devs, especially something like kojimas new studio has no say on what the cover of their game is going to be like. The only industry where its most likely that the artist wont (and still not always) get to decide their own cover is in literature because most artists dont have the skills or interest in designing and making their own cover art

kek

>Full reveal two months before launch

Worst marketing cycle I’ve ever seen. They’ve turned me off the game completely with all these years of nothing.

>Hire "A-list" actors
>Create your game cover art to look like a movie poster
>Enlist help from one of the best directors working in film today
>Have little to nothing in the way of gameplay
How can you fags even say you'll be playing a game at this point, you are literally playing an interactive movie with """game mechanics""" that haven't been in any AAA game before.

>and not a walking simulator.
It is literally lthe first actual walking simulator though. As in not just a game lacking gameplay and being excused with immersion by devs, but actually a game which's gameplay is revolving around walking.

The meme became a genre and I can' wait how much Yea Forums is gonna seeth about this.

Kojoma should pull a MGS2 and put out a fake gameplay trailer at TGS. Show a bunch of excitinf gunplay and a big action set-piece, and then when the game comes out, prople find out that there are no firearms.

>Kojima noted that if a bunch of players pee in the same place, the mushroom might be useful,bcc and it could even be used as a weapon
You can't make this shit up

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I can't even tell if what was shown today was intentionally underwhelming as bait and switch, there's the typical Kojimbo humor with the pissing, wacky poses and making Reedus fall down like a retard but honestly I just don't know what the fuck he's thinking and what he's trying to do with this

goty

>Konami shows LITERALLY EVERYTHING MGSV had in their gameplay demos
>Including all buddies, all arms (even post-game ones and both maps)
>It ruined the game because people quickly realized there waa nothing else
>Kojima decides to not show anything DS related and only shows snippets of gameplay
I'm glad he's not spoiling anything.

gunplay has been shown already, and it looked kinda bad

Reminds me of this

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You would not be saying this if anybody but Kojima made this game. The mental gymnastics Death Stranding fans have to make to defend their zero-gameplay game is astounding.

Can you pee on the enemies? Will that be how combat works in this game?

>You would not be saying this if anybody but Kojima made this game
no shit. We're talking about this BECAUSE it's Kojima and he's got years of incredible titles under his belt. dumbass

>deluding yourself still thinking kojima is holding back super secret gameplay
The mental gymnastics kojimadrones go through really are noteworthy, but sadly you will be disappointed that there really isn't more to it than what he has shown so far

I'm unironically selling my PS4

neither do you

I am at work and was only able to catch the gameplay. I imagine Kojima answered some basic questions afterwards. Did he address online at all, how the strand system works? Can we actually come across other players or is this more akin to dark souls where you just see "left overs" of other players like where they died, discarded cargo?

I know Kojimas thing is not to reveal to much, but that gameplay video lacked a lot beyond the menu options and the "map"?

A wallpaper for your trouble.

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>years of incredible titles under his belt
He hasn't made a good game since 2004, unless you want to tell everybody you think MGS4 and 5 are good, which exposes what a retard you are.

Shut the fuck up thebull94 no one cares about your retarded CDPR obsession

Kojimadrones are literal fucking retards.

People are shittalking this game to death but it was the only game that stood out in that shitshow of a presentation.

Can't you see it? In an industry where risk aversion and profit are getting more and more prevalent, Kojima is taking a big risk of trying to make an AAA game with this kind of concept when he could just strap his name to the next team based multiplayer shooter and make a bank out of it. I respect the man for that alone, it compels me to at least try his game out before writting it off as being shit, meanwhile I won't even give any of the crap that was shown before it a second of my attention.

Yeah, you can deliver other players' lost cargo, leave items behind for people in shelters, piss in the same spot as other players to grow mushrooms. He said some vague shit about completing side quests to connect with NPCs having some effect on the online stuff. I doubt there's any direct multiplayer.

P TO PISS ON KOJIMA THE HACKS GRAVE

Anyone else have to dab some toilet paper on their benis so piss doesnt get on your undies?

Should be standard practice.
On that note: Ladies, how old were you when you first discovered that most men don't wipe after pissing, they just put it back and drip in their underwear?

No ladies post here. Maybe some traps.

you do realize that gameplay will be shown at the TGS and this was just some nice cock fondling for Geoff, right?

obsessed

He should have named it HIDEO "THE HACK" KOJANGLES'S DO YOU DARE ENTER MY MAGICAL REALM?

its not just trash, it's a fucking landfill.
its going to be a total shitfest of utter stupidity.
youtube.com/watch?v=uuEpzvFPl_Y
god willing

>do some troll trailer for stupid gaijins
>even say its a joke trailer and the real thing will be at september 12 at TGS
>the entire west internet explodes
Why are people so stupid?

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I'm kind of astounded at how many people there are out there that keep waiting for the "real gameplay" to drop. I'm not shitting on anybody interested in the game for what it is, I'm interested in it.

But there's so many people out there that are pretending we haven't seen the real thing yet. This is the fucking game, what he's been showing us since the very first gameplay trailer IS the game, there's nothing to be confused or misguided by, it is as straight forward as it looks. Unless you wanna be disappointed, I'd start accepting that this is what you're getting, there isn't some crazy hidden mechanics beyond this.

so its a child endangerment simulator?

What happens if you don't let Reedus pee?

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She was breast feeding the ghost baby.

kojima is ripping off breath of the wild so hard that is not even funny

Is this the switch version?

This. 'Stranded' probably means you're some alone motherfucker walking around until you piece together what the fuck happened. Celebrity cutscenes are likely memories. My guess Kojima wants to "invent" lonely games.

are you fucking retarded? I mean you own a nintendie machine while being on an 18+ board so I already know but still

user, do you like it when men pee? you like watching men having to go pee?

they literally made a copy of the shrines

Imagine preordering or being excited for a literal walking simulator. Go become a mailman and you'll get a better experience.

That's skyrim

he likes to take a deep breath of the wild stuff

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?

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>Kojima's notWalkingSimulator
Wait what? He has a second game?

Go away, Hideki.

Have people not figured out this is literally HZD?

Can she pee? desu

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Everyone in this thread needs to have sex, dilate, seethe, cope and kys

>and keep yourself safe
t-thanks

But that Kerbal 2 trailer made my peenus reedus

You dont press P to Pay Respects.
You dont press F to Fay Respects.
Why are you STUPID GARBAGE FUCKING RETARDS so incapable of making a proper fucking joke, you stupid fat faggots.
F is the god damn interact key for fucks sake.
S is not the Shit key. S is to back up. You FAT FUCKS.

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Perfect

How does an AAA game with so little gameplay look so janky? That part in the demo where he falls down a hill looks awful.

She can pee on me

This is exactly what's going to happen once Kojima shows more gameplay at the Tokyo game show next month.

>wearing undies

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Jobtalk, a Japanese job review site, mentions that many employees at Kojima Productions are paid under market compared to other studios (they say between 30K-60K tops). Most of these employees have to move near the office or rent out a place since they work from 8-8, and sometimes overtime. My hunch is that Kojimbles spent the big paycheck on himself and the actors