Whats the game store equvalent of the no singles policy?

How new

That's retarded. What if I have a date there?

Robert is wholesome, he wouldn't do something like that

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No couples policy

For what reason?

Only been here for 12 years

Mandatory voice chat

Why can't Yea Forums keep their shitty forced memes on their shitty containment board?

For what reason do you believe that obvious shop? The fucking E is larger than the rest of the letters and the other E is smudged to shit

Whats wrong annon?

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It's Robert you stupid gamer.

Have her meet you outside

We would still be single?

hygiene checks

what is supposed to say?

>Go to the kinoplex with a girl on our first date to see Denis Villeneuve's new picture Blade Runner 2049, which is the talk about the town among my friends on Yea Forums
>Around 5 hours into the movie my date turns to me and says "this is boring".
>She gets up and starts to leave and I'm frantically screaming for her to please stop.
>After she exits the theater, my threater-instated-anti-singles-neck-collar starts beeping loudly with a 60 second countdown.
>Everyone in the audience turns their gaze to me while chanting "LOSER LOSER" louder and louder as the timer on my collar counts down.
>I can hear a rumbling starting underneath my seat.
>At this point I'm sweating profusely and begging for someone to let me be part of their group, but no one is having any of it.
>The timer reaches zero and my seat lights up like a rocket and launches me out of the theater.
>I walk to my car in shame ready to just go home and go back into my safe space in my room and never come out again.
>Left my car keys in cup holder

This is fake because it would be illegal. Gender based discrimination is illegal

My high school out here in Oakland actully haf penis inspections.

More than likely something along the lines of "Small Bags"

well then youre not single are you

It's a Yea Forums meme. It doesn't exist because it would violate US discrimination law and theaters are already nearing extinction since they aren't profitable at all.

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No singles as in you can’t be at the theater alone. For safety in case youre planning on shooting up the theater but also to make sure no one is uncomfortable. Its such a pain in the ass

No couples policy, unless that lady is your mom. Entering with children gets you a life ban, unless they're not yours.

yes I am, just because you get a date with a girl doesn't automatically make you a couple
in the long run sure/maybe but not for the moment

You ever see ladies night at a bar?

>It doesn't exist
Yeah right, and penis inspection day at school is just something I imagined.

It's retarded because it isn't real.

Single as in just one person.

should've worded it better then

Using the correct pronouns for a man dressed up as a woman.

Sir, you forgot your popcorn!

Kinda fucked up to discriminate based on nutsacks.

user, I....

Roger That

Have you? Ladies night at a bar is
>Ladies get drinks 1/2 half or BOGO
men are still allowed

Nothing worse than some selfish fucking cunt shooting up the place even though they're not the designated shooter
Everybody gets their turn, how fucking hard is it to wait for yours

user the teacher was just horny
it was all a ruse to achieve the wiener

>1/2 half

Lucky N Wild

wow good job pointing out my typo
ill be sure to edit my post and fix that

A strict ladies night is illegal user. If you go up to the bar and ask for the same special if they refuse its 100% illegal and you could sue if you had the money to get legal representation. You go to the bar on ladies night to pick up women though so that's not in the average males best interest

nigga i didnt invent the singels policy.

Online Only

It happened but only for a couple days after that Batman shooting.

>Be me
>buy my ticket for the new video game kino
>Angry Birds 2
>walk into the theater and sit down as I eagerly await the coming film
>suddenly the title comes up
>Skyrim the Movie
>Oh silly me I must have walked into the wrong theater
>before I can get up I'm stopped by one of the theater attendants
>"I suggest you sit sir"
>Hes holding a gun
>I then realize who it is
>Todd Howard
>hesitantly sit back down and watch the flick
>its 5 hours long
>the film messes up halfway through and we're forced to watch it all over from the beginning

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AAA game purchase required policy

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>Hey, Robert. Don't look now, but...
>Another? Seriously? That's the fourth today!
>Ugh, look at how sweaty he is. He probably hasn't showered in hours. No wonder he's here all alone.
>Yeah, jeez. Don't worry, I'll go take care of him.

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Thanks for the hand off friend, i'll get it to him.
user WAIT! YOUR EXTA BUTTERY POPCORN!

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w-woah he's fast!

Why are Yea Forums memes so bad? Besides Bane

Why? To sort out the gentiles?

I'll take this shit over wojack #3485 any time

Don't touch me.

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Yea Forums memes are at least creative. Whens the last time Yea Forums has made anything that wasnt just a wojak or a buzzword

Robert edddits are way better than shitty basedjacks man.

AY TONE

It is to prevent gamers rising up in the kinoplex, guns loaded.

HAHA HES BLACK HAHAHAH SO FUNNEY
yeah what a great """"""""""""""""""""""""meme""""""""""""""""""""""
>robert edit
>r edit
>reddit
hmm

I don't even know what this meme is really about and it still makes me giggle for some reason.

its more about him being a nice guy and very kind to tthe loser he sees day in and out.
also when people call him a nigher like 6 people will jump on that user and call him retarted.

>head to the local kinoplex to watch Star Wars XVI: Revenge of the Avengers
>pay one of the theatre slags 60 quid to sneak me through the No Singles checkpoint
>Robobert staring holodaggers at us the entire time despite the whore's insistence that she's run this route hundreds of times by now
>pass through the checkpoint unscathed
>slag winks and heads off 'to the bathroom'
>the moment she's out of sight the alarm on my Couple's Security Choker begins blaring
>YOU HAVE BEEN RANDOMLY SELECTED FOR A MANDATORY PENIS INSPECTION, DO NOT RESIST
>Robobert smoothly disrobes me in one fluid motion and takes a single glance at my micropenis
>VIRGIN DETECTED VIRGIN DETECTED
>theatre falcons begin cawing raucously
>two cold iron hands clamp around my wrists
>TO THE PITS WITH YE
>everyone on line begins chanting POPCORN PITS POPCORN PITS
>as i'm dragged off into the darkness the last thing I see is the whore grabbing my last crab leg from my wallet

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>its more about him being a nice guy and very kind to tthe loser he sees day in and out.
>larping is now memeing

Robert posting is leget baced and is more creative then anything on Yea Forums in the last 3 years.
post one (1) [uno] original meme better.

ocнoвaн и кpacныe тaблeтки

Toddposting

Hey Robert, you got battletoads? Haha, just kidding. Just give me the usual please.

A deal is a deal
For the actual single sticky that has happened ever

You fucker , you picked the literal only meme that could sway me.

>For safety in case youre planning on shooting up
funny thing is my date also want to shoot up the place
then again why somalia has theater anyway

>Hey user, the latest installment of pantyquest just came in, can I put you down for a copy?
>*teen girls start giggling*
>n-no robert, heh heh, I'll take the latest action packed call of duty please...

Eric or Dillion go back to your eternal slumber please.

I'll just take Rem, thanks Robert.

>Oh hey user, your back sooner than I thought!
>Whats that you spilled mountain due on your labo set again?
>its okay bro we have another one in the back
>that will be 155$ +tip please.
>...
>I dont know how I would survive without him.

That's not entirely true. Some theaters had shit like women-only screenings for Wonder Woman, for example. How is that any different (and not even worse)?

>Good choice my friend. With that game you’ll qualify for a chance to be the designated mass shooter this month

>Dont forget if you fail to be selected as a mass shotter youll have to work in CEO Todds Hardware mines.

Robert is one of the best things to come out of Yea Forums in years.
It’s just so wholesome

Is he coming back!?

yeah like said its a wholesome meme thats too good for anyboard.

>Good evening Robert, can I get Bing Bing Wahoo Bouncy Cardboard Adventure please? With the limited edition Amiibo?
>Absolutely user, i'll just have to see your signed funko pop permission slip from your wife. Would you like to check your wife's boyfriend into the bull pen while I get that together for you?

It does exist in Germany though.

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haha robert wouldnt it be funny if you fucked my wife hahaha.

NO. The Yea Forums meme is that there are there ARE any theaters (that aren't also crack-dens) that ALLOW SINGLES to enter. I have never been to or heard of any that do. You MUST be accompanied.

>It doesn't exist because it would violate US discrimination law
Violates what? Private companies have the right to refuse service to anybody. They employ security/call poilice to force anyone they don't like to leave.

Even if it were somehow "discrimination" they could just discriminate based on something "unrelated".
>It's not because he's single, he's wearing innapropriate clothes. He smells offensive. He's bothering the other customer. He's been seen trying to smuggle outside food. He appears disturbed, intoxicated.
>Our service is simply for parties of two or more only.
>We've had problems with single men doing innapropriate things. Not uncommonly masturbating. We need to keep our customers safe and at ease.
>We need to be sensitive to women who have been traumatized in their life and only feel safe around men they know they can trust, such as their husbands and friends.

As for finances, they can't afford to let singles in. Singles are a small market and usually small spenders. Keeping singles out is what allows theaters to convince the real market.to go to them.

If you REALLY want to see a kino at a real theater, hire a girl. She doesn't even need to touch you at all, just be willing to say she's with you. Still you're looking at $100 minimum including tickets.

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Multiplayer only games.

Unrealistic chart. No crab leg stockpile.

shower policy
have sex policy

>shower policy
the absolute state of the yugioh community

>tfw no kinoplex management game

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ok thats pretty good

if i had any skills at all i'd make this myself

the fuck? Last time I went home the cinema was already fuck empty at prime time for John Wick 3, why would they do this to themselves

>the lorax
>im kino
I wish American movies would tell us when they're kino or not

>another shift in the popcorn mines
>there's a cave-in
>hot butter floods the shaft
>a dozen people are boiled alive in hot butter
>once the butter settles their corpses will have to be taken out by a special excavation team
>all that deep-fried meat makes the miners realize this is the only chance they have for eating something not made out of soilent
>eat the deep fried flesh of your fellow miners down in shaft B-6
We shall persevere

i miss sneed

Gender based discrimination doesn't apply to males.

these dubs

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Robert memes are wholesome.

>moe's meed & meed

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youtu.be/_TrRZvTXEnQ

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Quasimodo predicted this shitty post

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youtu.be/0qu4W6KWtiU

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youtu.be/eLWXUYJIuHU

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I don't want popcorn, thank you.

Is that a crab leg in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

becuase the meaningless mods allow them to shit up any board, but if you post a stupid pastel pony that gets deleted faster than a hiccup

youtu.be/2MtOpB5LlUA?t=225

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GR15 dumb dumb

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there are other fucking rules too you worthless shithead, the faggot mods only like to enforce one

does anyone have the one with jiro

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youtube.com/watch?v=NlH_-Jgw24k&t=168s

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Get fucked

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eat shit you forced meme cock sucker

youtu.be/AIaaAaFz4oc?t=78

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>I love sucking dicks and being a tool
Fixed.

SOMEONE WARN ROBERT ABOUT THE SLIIIIIP

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Fuck you

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youtu.be/_1vU5NeOgHw

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The search isn’t a mandatory legal obligation. Though if you refuse and violate the policy they can technically kick you out. It’s not based on race and such so it would generally fly if you ever tried taking it to court. Businesses do have a right to refuse service for just about any reason anyway so my advice would be to avoid that theatre if it ever happened. Also nowadays you can literally download the movie for less than the price of the ticket anyway, theaters are obsolete and I hope it becomes another thing that dies. Fuck them and their $12 tubs of popcorn

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why'd he get shot?

this is what I get for trusting hood niggers with day jobs
youtu.be/11LLFbCBJWI
he slipped on the peel and the popcorn lit him up like bullets. tragic

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It’s a meme to make people scared of going to the theatres.

If I give you these lobster suckers and some hot garlic butter and screwdriver soda could you not spoil it for him?

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>tfw have to clean the game mines

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>to make sure no one is uncomfortable.
???
You're watching a movie, who cares that the guy next to you is alone? Are people so thin skinned they'll feel uncomfortable because of that?

>screwdriver soda
In that case...

A man by himself in a theater is likely to shoot up the place.

>He probably hasn't showered in hours.
Have I been showering wrong all along?

Robert what are you doing here? You're supposed to serve me crab legs, not pre-orders and a shitty membership card!

I was having sex with my vocaloid girlfriend in the 6th dimension and I warped back into this current phase of reality to call you a faggot.
You are a faggot.

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pleb, Yea Forums levels are a national treasure
LOTR taxposting was so detailed that there were people studying financing terms so they could shitpost along

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>he doesn't shower every time he takes a shit, sneezes, absentmindedly touches his face, breathes within 20 feet of another human being, or steps outside without his hazmat suit

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sorry, sir. the freedom birds haven't been affiliated with fish guns yet. We're doubling our efforts into figuring how much duct tape we need.

image didn't load lol

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Uhh, you have to bring friends.

I'm gonna go watch Avengers: Endgame alone and you can't stop me, Robert!

Dutchposting is kino you fuck

Yea Forums is the only board that manages to make me laugh so consistently

Do americans really do this?

Its to prevent incels from shooting up the place. Sadly lonely guys like us are collateral damage to the policy

Yea Forums humour everyone

Someone dressed as the joker did it at the dark knight rises premiere

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the fact that this happens often enough to make a retarded rule makes me question americas first world status

>walk into theater
>ask for ticket to BLUE: The Game: The Movie
>"I'm sorry sir we don't your single kind here"
>take out gun
>shoot cashier
>proceed without ticket
>enter screen
>everyone inside was too busy watching the movie to hear the people screaming outside
>start shooting like you would have done normally, except with an extra dead cashier and the theater didn't get any money from you

No, it didn't.

We need more guns in theaters to stop this obviously

Can I get this new gaming headset butter glazed? With extra salt around the earcuffs.

>make a serious post in a dumb thread
>it's even dumber than the shitpost joke premise of the thread
It's a whole new level of retardation

Nigga it's made up we're just shitposting

>Einzelpersonen
Is that nazi-speak for "Incels"?

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It's naziese for "individual" or more literally "single person", so close

I know but I've seen that post a million times and it still bothers me.

A coop game that is clearly not made for singleplayer.

Nice, thanks!

Would Robert sell me a ticket if I brought my daki?

Robert will sell you a ticket in defiance of the no singles policy, even if it gets him fired.
Whether the designated shooter finds it satisfactory, I can't say.

Sauce? Looks hot.

Robert makes exceptions if you explain to him you must see the Kino on display, for he understands that some kino is more important than females.

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Damn, Robert is such a good friend. I'm glad a nice man like him works at the Kinoplex and saves us from their oppressive policies.

Kinoplex the end times; manlet tide

No idea m8, sorry. Picked it up from another thread.

>Hey Robert, I'm running a little late to my vasectomy appointment, can I just buy Bing Bing Wahoo 2 real fast?
>I'm sorry user, but you'll have to take the screening test first, rules are rules

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