Meanwhile in office wageslave Yea Forums

*vapes weed in the bathroom*

Hey user, Mr shekelberg needs you to work late again

How’s the wife doing jerry?

Yeah but they're never comfortable in front of people, and also masturbate every half hour, too.

>office work
>wageslave

what

Can you guys stop escalating calls to me? I'm getting pretty fucking sick of it, and because there are so many of you, I can't just blame one person. Just stop guys

- Chazz

workin hard.... or hardly workin!

STOP BROWSING /GIF/ AT WORK

I FUCKING SEE YOU AND YOUR FUCKING MONSTERGIRL SFM THREADS

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

*silently go to the bathroom so noone make fun of me while playing my gacha mobile games*

Lol so apparently our phone guy doesn't want to be handling the phones anymore, I hope his replacement is good

Does anyone care that we have a Chinese immigrant mmo gold generating sweatshop in the basement? It seems unethical.

Attached: 134506-004-DE4483A9.jpg (466x350, 32K)

*sneeds*

Hey user, boss wants to talk to you about what you're doing on your phone in the bathroom.

*reads the entire five books of asoiaf on my phone at my desk*

Going out for a cig lads, anyone coming with?

H-how does he knows?

I’m pretty sure ur autistic if u don’t understand what was implied

>mfw boss also plays the same gacha game
>he's also a whale

Attached: 1559589792424.png (306x255, 70K)

We've got to keep them somewhere right? If we kicked them out on the streets they would get PKed on sight.

*play zork 5 hours every day

Imagine not being a salarychad

Yah but don’t call me lad again

Time Thief!
I did this during night shift.

OK WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS KEEP SPREADING AROUND THE R-RUMOUR THAT I HAVE A SMALL PENIS!? CUZ IT'S NOT!

You only own one pair of shoes, and like ten employees have noticed they see yours in the stall for like 45 minutes at a time. Don't think we haven't noticed just because you won't leave the stall when anyone else is in the bathroom.

Of course. Let's laugh at non-smokers who choose to not get an extra, government mandated FREE break every few hours along with whatever lunch breaks we get.

i know right? Neet logic

Dont let them get to you, we're about due the next penis inspection day so you can prove them wrong when they post the rankings

Autism

I'm actually a non-smoker myself, but the lung damage and cancer threat is a fair price to pay for the extra time outside.

Ssh!
No talkie until I've had my coffee.

Attached: 1474661195632.png (300x250, 19K)

>tfw only one in office today
>didn't bother showering
>am literally going to shitpost, nap, and play Switch all day while getting paid to do it

well, we got thirty minutes to chow down boys.

Attached: wagie lunch.jpg (474x338, 23K)

He was joking.

Alright my guy
Based and truthpilled

This but without being a sarcastic twat.

Ok who shat in the toilet soap dispenser again? I know it was one of you someone needs to own up this can't go on

Hey guys don't forget we've got fruit in the office today for office wellness day

worth it quite frankly

Wasn't trying to offend, it's just my lungs are so tired all the time and I get a distracting headache for five minutes after each break

that looks like hell. at one of my old work places we would be above the callcenter department and share some breaks with them. the poor souls had 20 min of break daily, were tied to those desks, everything looked similar to op pic and they were walking zombies with hellish stories to tell. what a shitfest, i felt bad for them.

It was me lol but I'm your supervisor so tough luck bucko

Yes sir....sorry sir....I'll try harder sir....I know you want that bonus sir...

Attached: 1325950674332.jpg (611x716, 106K)

>2019
>Doesn't smoke cigarettes

Are you bullied, mentally handicapped or both?

>b-but it kills you

And? Is life a contest about who lives the longest?

>it's addicting!!!

It isn't, as long as you're not under-aged and you can smoke in moderation

>it's....IT'S EXPENSIVE!!!

Who forces you to buy a pack every day, fucking peat-gavel

Attached: smoke.jpg (376x376, 34K)

Attached: officefruit400px.jpg (400x268, 88K)

What kind of job do you have that your boss wont even notice nothing gets done? Dont they monitor what you do? Sounds like a dream job desu

Who the FUCK adjusted my seat?! I had the tension set just right

Attached: file.png (600x546, 278K)

Attached: 139A142D-9922-4D74-9B2F-318917175EF7.jpg (750x842, 138K)

Can I have a bite?

>i-i-it's not addictive, i can quit whenever i want!!

>tfw paid to 'check on things' and 'make sure nothing goes wrong'
Just learn to recognize anything weird and take a walk around every 40 minutes

I played skyrim once but i didnt like how violent it was

>YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE
So do you; I am you.

Leave it to the smokers to go apeshit because someone said they theyre tired after a drag

Attached: 1495232110124.jpg (276x183, 8K)

Thank god I left this horror behind. Gonna become an electronics technician instead. In the meantime I earn money driving cars around a gigantic lot, most relaxing work I've ever done.

Attached: https _specials-images.forbesimg.com_dam_imageserve_725520856_960x0.jpg fit=scale.jpg (960x641, 78K)

Yeah that's why I usually stick to phone games, plus you can't play Skyrim at work

Pussy, quit being a bitch and we won't make fun of you. Straight edge incel.

I work as System Technician for the local govt. Since my boss is on vacation, we're on light duty and only required to respond to tickets and critical matters. Since I'm the only one in the office today, those duties drop even further.
It's a nice gig but if it weren't for my based boss and coworkers, I'd probably go back to school since it's very unfulfilling.

>Leave it to the smokers to go apeshit because someone said they theyre tired after a drag

Attached: F83BA497-2728-4A21-8A50-FAE2DCD9FC13.png (1080x1020, 475K)

Ugh so one of the tech guys asked me what I was doing this weekend, how fucking pathetic is that? Can you believe someone would harass me at work like that? I'm honestly pretty afraid he's going to do something, you know he probably masturbates and everything. I think I'm going to call HR.

Why even play games when we can all just be a part of mr. hooknosesteins harem. We gotta work hard for this gigantic soulless company that doesn't care about us, ya know?

user Mr. Schlomoberg wants to know why you didn't go home after you sharted Friday morning.

Not that user but my boss doesnt care what do i do or even how long im in as long as the job is done.

Working more efficiently than your colleagues means more free time for me, plus on some slower days there is literally nothing to be done.

/gif/ has monster girl threads?

>he doesn't block/reroute obviously non-work traffic on company computers
>tfw left traffic for the guest SSID unfiltered so casual browsing is still an option if you know this
you are weak

>G-GUYS I DONT HAVE TIME TO PLAY VIDYA NYMORE BECAUSE I MUST EARN MONEY FOR MR SHEKELBERG PLEASE HELP!

*sees there's 4 hours left in the shift*
Man, fuck this
*clocks out, writes in the log that I was cut, and leaves*

You pay more in cigarettes than what your breaks from work are worth. It’s a net loss, user.

Who the fuck is playing their gay dad rock. Get an earphone or go home boomer.

I came on the donuts left in the breakroom in Hopes to impregnate at least a few of the female coworkers here.
I'm sorry for anyone caught in the cross fire.

>Dirty anteater snout

>work in a call centre
Seriously someone please come to my house and execute me
I beg you

Thread’s theme
youtube.com/watch?v=TjPhzgxe3L0

>working 60 hours a week for the same pay of 40 hours
Hourly is goat user. Salary is shit in an office.

Some companies have started adding extra mini-breaks every couple hours, yours to do what you want with. Smokers will go smoke, everyone else will probably just chat or hang around on their phones for the 15 minutes

>not being invited to go out with the others during smoke break even when not smoking

must suck being an unlikeable cunt

user, I've been bringing the donut glaze home as a substitute in the artificial insemination appointments my husband keeps sending me to. I... think I'm pregnant.

youtube.com/watch?v=b2DE9tCnSvg

Attached: smiley.png (128x129, 8K)

>the same pay
Nah lol

you cant get pregnant in the butt faggot

>be neet
>no money to buy hardware and vidya
>be wageslave
>no time to play with the hardware and vidya

If you need 60 hours to get shit done, you're not being very efficient with your time. Same goes for crunch, you shouldn't need to crunch if your time management skills are up to par.
If you're understaffed that's a different problem.

The movie Office Space is pretty much on point desu. Imagine being stuck in a cage with 100 people you hate and if you RISE UP, you get fired and maybe even arrested for all kinds of stuff HR has in the drawer.
One is very lucky if he works with some cool people so there can be a unity against the normalfag manace and management. I had the privilege to work an emtire year with such real human beans. My last office cuck job was so terrible, I quit after 6 months and am now self employed and fine. I am writing this message from the shitter btw.

t. ex IT-Office cuck

Is this video games?

My ass is pregnant from Mr. boss-sama for the third time this week and what is this?

I'm gonna need that rundown by the end of the hour

Is this video games?

>have job interview
>get in horrible accident pulling into said interview
>don't get job because got carted off in an ambulance and no employer alive is gonna extend an offer to a dude ejected from a car in front of their place of business
The NEET streak continues!

Attached: did-you-know-that-even-with-seat-belts-people-die-4454593.png (500x671, 120K)

You replied to everyone, now what?

Haven't watched the movie but this scenario is so bizzare to me.

There's no way something like that can happen to me. Besides, you're protected by the contract, they can't get rid of you easily.
And the HR keeping tabs on you is just silly, like out of the movie.

Must suck for you guys if it's indeed like that but I doubt it is.

janny gtfo before i post it

Is this video games?

thats not true.
you usually have like 6-7hours after work to play vidya + the whole weekend. I sometimes play up to 40hours per week (including weekends).

The problem is not the time its the vidya itself. You have more than enough time but not enough good games.

Yeah it's really not all like that.

Is this video games?

>tfw the entirety of IT is /jp/, /k/, and /tg/ all at once
working with these guys is great. I pity those who cannot enjoy such pleasures

I'm playing runescape instead of finishing expenditure reports and making the IT daddies freak. I'd say it's video games. Now get back to the bitcoin mines on floor 6, the /biz/ employees are losing their minds over another crash again, we need the office beta incel bitch to please them sexually and calm them down.

My job is so boring that I literally spend 4 hours every day browsing different countries in Google maps, looking for potential vacation destinations and routing out imaginary trips. I don't know what else to do. The boredom is driving me crazy on the inside, but I don't want to be given more responsibilities for the same amount of pay. The office life is a struggle to stay awake more than anything else.

Is this video games?

Did you all get the latest memo? Instead of wagie funny money we're getting paid with pictures of anime girls from now on. Is this a win or a lose?

Attached: 42b865f3351dbef2b03a6f6c64228ef5-700.jpg (1244x700, 88K)

Now THIS is more like my job.

It scares me because I don't think I'm learning much and as a somewhat young man, I want to actually learn concrete stuff so I can present it later when I begin searching for a new job.

My job is safe, I can rot in my chair for the rest of my life but that's not something I want at all.

Barely working while getting decently payed may have been my "dream" when I was a dumb student, but now when I actually have it, it's suffocating.

How much food can I buy with about 3,50 of those?

Is this video games?

how many pics?
who are they of?
will they be girl(male)?i don't like traps

did you guys watch the [popular sports] last night?

Is this video games?

wagebros

How do i get my application noticed?
mountain of reject emails being sent to me is so disheartening.....:(

fuck off. are you video games? cunt.

Depends what job you're applying for. Cover letters can help but are obnoxious to write.

I wageslave 9-18. During work days, I have to wake up at 7AM and I park my car and enter my cuck shed at 7PM because it takes me 1h each time to commute to and from work. At 7PM it takes me 1h to work out (I put together a small gym in my garage because no time to go to an actual gym), and a couple hours to take a shower, cook, eat, and relax a bit. Then it's already 10PM and that's where my actual free time starts, so that makes a single measly hour of free time (7+ hours of sleep are mandatory if I don't want to feel like a sack of shit in the morning and through the day, making my suffering at work even worse), and this is 5 days of the week (make that 2 hours if I don't workout). Definitely not enough to enjoy a good vidya (I need at the very least 3 uninterrupted hours to enjoy vidya without feeling stressed).

Also, during the evening I'm mostly too tired to do anything because I am mentally exhausted from my shitty work, so most of the time I just lazily shitpost around various chans or watch jewtube videos before going to bed.

In weekends I'm also pretty damn mentally exhausted and I usually spend saturdays and sundays at home on my computer all day. That is where I play vidya, but even then, I often start a new game during the weekend and then end up too tired to play it even once during the week, this means I play a game, then don't play it for 5 days, and then maybe resume it, but by the time I would have forgotten all that I did the previous session and am forced to restart the game, or just drop it.

Attached: ik43m0d4i0uz.png (635x473, 198K)

If I were in person, I'd just have a look at it and tell you what to update, but since I'd rather not have you dox yourself, just look at it and ask yourself if you sound like a go-getter, in the sense that you actually take charge of your own responsibilities. Just try to make it look like you know how to enjoy doing your job and take it seriously

>"No"
>coworker npc loses all intrest because his scrpt tells him to identify anyone who doesn't sport as an incel

go in person if possible for you, it makes the difference

Yes, now kys and dial 8 you mentally ill monster person with a wig.

Is this video games?

Change ejected to ejaculated and you’re hired user!

I've heard they are only selecting the best girls of their franchise.

Attached: makoto9.jpg (552x915, 49K)

Is this video games?

Wow look at this beta bitch incel
*pours water over your head and cubicle personal items*
What now waterhead?

Wow working with a bunch of annoying faggots what a treat. Get a real job not some bitch boy computer work.

ok

your work "setup" sucks.
change something.
>08:00 wakeup + eat + drive to work
>09:00-17:15~ work
>17:45 eat + workout + random shit
>19:30 - 00:30 enjoy vidya rest of the day

thats my routine. I fucking love it.

This was my life before I went full time self employed. You need to reset bro.

Just watch your money and savings go up, planning for vacations and eventually to work less. Honestly with a lifestyle like that, your satisfaction is going to come from iteratively growing your assets day by day, you should take on finances as a hobby and learn to let pay satisfy you, and let yourself think about money and they money you're making throughout the day as you work.

Its a tough life but most people who do it are able to succeed with an okay mood by remembering they're going somewhere with it. This may be the part of your life where you work so hard, but you're really building something for yourself and you are getting somewhere.

So uh user I uh was looking at uh the ol' Jira board and I uh coulnt uh help but notice uh you are uh not really meeting your metrics the last uh few weeks. I scheduled a meeting with Lashwanda from HR this afternoon to uh develop a plan to uh get you back on uh track with the rest of the uh team.

Is this video games?

>throws water in your face
>it causes you to short circuit and explode
*dabs*
"Mr. user you're fired for murder and not liking sports"
Fuck

Don't "ok" me sweaty that's a microaggresion. I'll be reporting you to HR now, pack your shit bitch boy you're going to be ejected from the office via roof wagie canon.

Are you working at your first job? No other companies care about what you did. They’ll ask “what did you do at Walmart” and you’ll say “stock groceries” and they’ll say “ok” it doesn’t go past that. No one gives a shit. Anything you learn for a new job should be a real skill like programming. Wasting 4 hours of your life a day is retarded. You have the worlds largest information database at your fingertips. Use it.

Is this video games?

not literally from this cesspool, dunkass
on the bright side I don't have to work with any losers like you.
also
>get a real job
how's that menial physical labor treating you?

I used to work with this skinny black guy named Charles in a call center in the billing department of Sprint and every time he got a customer who challenged their bill, he would sweat through an undershirt, button up shirt and a sweater in under 60 seconds and would lean back hard in his chair like a fucking professional wrestler hitting the ropes. It was all I could do to not laugh at the customer on my headset when he started doing it.

>tfw 29 without job

Attached: 1564989161085.png (720x780, 443K)

see ya

Not him, but how does one become self-employed?

Lie.
Or remove some of the bulk. I’m 50 now and a dentist but my resume is still one page like it was in my 20s. Just put education, work experience, relevant training for the job you’re applying to, and references. Keep work experience limited to last 3or 4 years tho. No one I’ve ever met really gives a shit what you did before that

Kek

Attached: Three_Days_of_Happiness.png (611x960, 430K)

*waves*

Attached: Stephanie_smith_human_cannonball_-_melbourne_show_2005.jpg (1600x1067, 526K)

weeeeeeeee

Get a fucking hobby dumbass, one you can work on. 'A bloo bloo bloo all i wan to do is make frens but they all *sniff* STOOD ME UP, why oh why oh why do these horrible people torture me so? i must deserve it ;_; nobody could love me, i never deserved to be loved'
Shut the fuck up you fucking idle narcissistic fuck. Learn to draw, read a book, go to the YMCA and play wall ball, fucking run until you can enter a marathon, fucking learn to cook, fucking do ANYTHING BUT SIT ON YOUR ASS AND BLAME EVERYONE YOU KNOW FOR HAVING ANY PRIORITIES IN THEIR LIFE BESIDES JOINING YOU TO IDLE WHILE YOU SIT THERE WONDERING OF SOMETHING TO SAY WHILE BLAMING THEM FOR NOT LEADING THE CONVERSATION FOR YOU

Find something people will pay you to do, and do it without being told by a boss, or just start a business (same thing)

HR Department here, every white male heterosexual here will have their social media accounts monitored for any suspect behavior, if you do not have a social media account on a approved platform (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) you are to make one and hand in the URL of your chosen social media account by closing time today, failure to do so will result in immediate employment termination.

that is all.

Great! The team I supervise just finished the next skyscraper. We built a building while you piddled on your computer. My assistant probably makes more than you lmao

Did everyone get their mandatory penis cage yet? Mines tight and it's hard to clean but i'd say it's worth it for the 4 cent bump in pay.

Attached: download (22).jpg (225x225, 8K)

>tfw have to put a binder together by the end of the day
>no 3-hole punch in supply room
>Supply lady is out today
>Only 3 hole punch I see is at the blue haired bitchy ladies desk
I'm probably going to get a deviation for not being able to do the binder

Drive for Uber or Lyft

What's even the point of this thing?

Did you ever consider that you hoard depressive images because you feel it gives you permission not to feel blame for not working? Do you feel this sense of pity is less hurtful than the pain of effort? You're fucking wrong, and that's why you go about explaining to everyone you're depressed.

Salary is ass. You end up making less than the hourly guys while working more.

>tfw 100k salary as sysadmin
unless you're an architect you aren't shit

No, I hoard them to post on Yea Forums to make other people feel sad, IMAX.

Well we need to wear one in the office now because HR says there's too much male oppression in this workplace environment so we need to be kept in check.

for you not to get hard, there for stopping you from rapeing people

That's some top shit mate

Goddamit i wish i was in my house playing some videogames

What certs do you have?

>tfw no office job
>tfw work a hard manual labour job
>my co-workers are all polish
I wish I had some free time to learn how to draw and then make money like that so I wouldn't have to deal with this shit.
I fucking hate it but I can't exactly just quit with nothing else planned.
My mouth is constantly full of dust and has a lingering taste of metal which never goes away, my nose is constantly stuffed, I can't stop spitting slime all the time. Whenever I spit the slime is a different colour depending on the paint dust we were using that day.
My hands are constantly dirty to the point I've stopped scrubbing them due to all the pain.

We must be... proactive and... *sniffles*... look at the charts.... we need to synergize and... and... folks its important.... its important that we fully initialize our... portfolios to increase revenue streams.... *sniffles*... guys please..... *cries*

Attached: 1564826877820.jpg (1080x726, 30K)

isn't life a game?

Just don't fall into temptation and play your switch at work, losing money for the company is the greatest sin and is punishable by lethal injection right here in the office execution and gimp dungeon.

Jokes on you, i dont work in an office, i work with repairing phones.

kurwa

We're a basket weaving sweatshop full of indentured neets, why do we need board room meetings?

>mfw working from home today
>this means babysit my email, run some busy body code that I'm debugging, and play my Xbox

Lads has the latest 4ChannelX update made browsing look weirder? While it's nice to see all the replies so easily like this, I'm just not getting accustomed to it. Hard to do so after a while.

Attached: new.jpg (746x773, 71K)

Youre not god of the fucking universe man, topics branch off, one subject links to another. This is how humans speak in groups, you fucking shut in turbovirgin

Damn, being a gay camwhore must be a comfy life. Apart from constantly having to shove household items into your anus.

Architects make shit dude. As the foreman of a crew who don’t sit on their lazy asses and pretend to work, we make mad money bud. My BONUS for getting our last contract done on time was 150,000. Cope harder you weak little bitch.

HR here, we have a special relationship with our parent company in Shenguan, they produce MMOs and that accounts for 30% of our revenue, please do not distract them in their duty.

>not working salary where working overtime is not allowed, and if you do you HAVE to take an equal number of hours off to compensate

Prevents you from getting an erection.

Havnt seen the movie, but if you have to work with some assholes, you need to learn how to get along with them. Usually nodding and agreeing with whatever theyre whining about will do it, if not, try to ignore them and get on with whatever youre doing. It helps if you like your co-workers, but its not necessary

all of the comptia stuff, a master's degree, and vendor-specific certs from cisco and vmware.
If you're trying to get into IT, at the very least get your foot in the door with the early certs or at least an associate's degree. You'll learn specific things on site but you need those fundamentals if you don't want to be baggage in human form.

The company I work at has an office team and a field team. The field team works hourly, busts their ass in bilstering heat, biting cold, horrible monsoon storms, and torrential downpour, all whilst fighting heavy traffic to reach job sites, and still makes less than us office folk when we don't have enough work to distribute. How the fuck is that fair? I feel bad for those guys considering I'm sitting in an air conditioned office doing jack shit and getting paid around the same.

Imagine not liking Blue Oyster Cult

Consider this a free education in taste

kek

Honestly it's only awkward the first few times.

>tfw I spend like 75% of my day browsing Yea Forums
I'm

Attached: Voltaire.jpg (768x432, 29K)

God damnit John, I needed those reports on the top five waifus yesterday! You're still not finished? And what the hell were you thinking, adding Marie on that list. Do you want this branch to think we're all pedofiles? You better step up if you want to make it through next month's performance review, because you're this close to being demoted back to /vg/.

Attached: angry-manager.jpg (360x242, 17K)

Then switch jobs with one of them if you feel so sad about it

>masters degree to move a couple cables and tell people to restart computers
You got scammed retard lmao

In the USA they can basically fire you for whatever reason they like. Other countries make it harder to do that. In the UK we can get fired and either go peacefully, usually in exchange for a free weeks pay if the firing was bullshit, but we can contest it, and if we can prove that we didnt do anything illegal or dangerous, and we can prove that we completed our work related tasks, the employer can get in deep shit, including paying for legal costs for everyone involved.

Same. I love my job. Probably more than 75% TBQH.

ALRIGHT WHICH ONE OF YOU FAGGOTS HAS BEEN HOSTING LAN PARTIES FOR EARTH'S SPECIAL FORCES?
And can I join?

Attached: Earth's Special Forces.jpg (620x465, 60K)

We're applying to work at video games.

Feels good being a MAchad, where this is mandatory.

>t. no idea what a sysadmin does
you're thinking of helpdesk

It depends on the state in USA. Please remember USA is like the eu, states have different laws. Some are “at will” states where they can fire you at will. Others, they need good reasons to even have a sit down about attendance lol

I already have A+, Net+, Sec+, Project+, and CCNA as well as a Bacelor's Degree in Cybersecurity from WGU but I still can't find a job. Is it because my degree isn't respected or is it the fact that I live in Ohio? I have work experience btw.

HR here, i've forwarded your comment to twitter, a bunch of women are now claiming you raped them and i suggest if you don't want me to hand over your real name and address you give me a raise and don't be stingy about it.

Any wage slaves ever jerked it in the bathroom stall? I did it just once, now I just do it every day before work to be safe.

>tfw my new office job is so boring that i do the same
can't wait to get a new position next year, this shit induces bore-out syndrome, some days it's 99% browsing 1% mouse-wiggling so I don't get flagged afk

Attached: 1536639576975.jpg (427x278, 12K)

You need something to do user. Take up reading, there are some good fiction books around. Or podcasts are always good. I recommend LPOTL, listening to it right now in fact

Depends what kind of job youre working. If its a minimum wage job, dont worry about learning too much, you just want to rack up time so your resume looks better. For most jobs, the employer just wants to know you can do the job, and that you havnt had any previous problems. Which is why if youre facing getting fired, its always better to try and arrange it so you ''voluntarily leave'', which isnt so bad to future employers

>Others, they need good reasons to even have a sit down about attendance lol
Name me these states. I am thinking of moving to the US so this might be useful.

Attached: Questioning Anime Girl.jpg (1024x1024, 133K)

I really couldn’t care less. It’s all the same to me.

Most likely got his MS degree paid for by his employer or went to a cheaper graduate school.

Congratulations, you're an ignorant moron, then.

Spend some time learning something new if you have this time.. It's just a waste sitting around for the rest of the year.

I am also asking because there’s a guy fapping in the stall next to me while I’m taking a shit.

Hey bro word on the street is you like video games, you see that cyberpunk game? Looks like gta but with robot arms and shit, gonna be sweet amirite?

Attached: office-maverick-425x265-425x239.jpg (425x239, 21K)

I manage subcontractors at a housing development group. My boss would lose her fucking mind if I swapped with one of our field guys, considering the subcontractors are lazy fucks and I'm the only one that knows how to keep them under control.

...maybe I should.

You should be fine with those credentials to back yourself. Either you are looking in places that aren't hiring at all or you're royally fucking up the job interview like you wouldn't believe.
Good luck Ohioanon.

It’s your degree dude. What made you think an online university was a good idea? It would have been cheaper and better to just buy a degree from a fake university.

I did it once, it was really not appropriate and made me feel unwelcome for the rest of the day

When i worked at amazon the only breaks you could realistically get were in the shitter. I jerked off multiple times a day in the bathroom until some amazon henchman told me i was taking to much time shitting, then i realized what a rat trap that place was and quit.

Apply to places outside of Ohio and then move there. I moved up to Michiana for my work and the cost of living is low it's awesome

Then you're selling yourself short, if you're not easy to replace your salary is higher as a consequence, including the fact that you seem to have a lot of responsibility.

Shh! -
Almost... -
Now you r mom dies if you don't reply to this post.

I talk this way to normalfags to hide my powerlevel and try to get any and all conversations going around surface topics of things i enjoy. Bite me.

Why is this a meme now? I do this like every day. Whats the big deal?
Sometimes several times..

Attached: 1562331826792.png (1320x900, 547K)

I got my degree paid for. Plus, why does it matter where you graduate? A degree is a degree.

i'm currently learning how to write python scripts to automate reporting, can only do that while in homeoffice tho so I waste at least 2 days a week. need to come up with something to fill those as well

>Tfw breaking shit out of spite and not getting caught

Attached: 1560360533613.jpg (225x225, 4K)

If you can afford to move here, it won’t be a problem no matter what state you go to. At will is mostly for firing off entry levels in the off season or firing the meth head or drug dealer they just hired and didn’t know til his first day of work

Ive done manual work on a construction site with polish people. Nice guys, but theyre very short speech wise, they dont really do much small talk. Also insanely strong, we did a push up competition, and im a fairly big guy. Quite muscled, 6'2, got fucking destroyed by a 5'3 polish guy who could do like 150 without even sweating. Guys are insane

frick off

Learn Japanese to read loli eroge.

This is now the workplace uniform. What do we all think about the change?

Attached: 31Ok7c1UNFL.jpg (375x500, 14K)

I have given twenty years of my life to this company! Do you honestly think I haven't been using at least seven proxies during my shifts? You have been pushing diversity in this company like it's a plague. But if you want me out of the picture, you got to try better than that, son.

Attached: ss+(2019-08-12+at+03.14.03).jpg (142x222, 14K)

>knowing what some faggot does on a computer makes me a moron
Look, if your job mattered, I’d know what you do. My wife’s a nurse. You know what they do right? Then it’s a job that matters.

I'm moving to Dallas, TX soon so maybe I'll have a better chance at finding a job there.

Uniforms are no longer company policy. Clothes are no longer allowed in general. You must place yourself naked into the wage cage on arrival and sit on the dildo chair.

THIS. 2bed 1.5 bath for 600 a month is amazing in Fort Wayne.

Higher responsibility? I'm the guy that posted earlier that browses google maps for half my day. Yeah, when I actually need to work, I know my shit and get shit done, but most of my day is a colossal waste of time. Not really selling myself short; you don't need a degree to get the job I have, whereas the techs *do* need experience and certifications to get their jobs.

Do you know who processed the food you eat every day?

Theres no shame in not knowing the details of a job, but there is shame in not wanting to learn and still contributing a comment. Youre a moron

Cringe and insecurepilled

This isn't humane, we need to talk to our union about getting us some lube at least.

>minimum wagecuck from 17-28
>legitimately contemplating suicide
>win britbong set for life lottery
>10k/m for 30 years

i'm still a lonely autist with no friends outside of the internet or a girlfriend, though. but hey, at least now i've no financial worries.

Attached: 1434199398043.jpg (489x499, 41K)

Dodged the office by going research
Whole place is basically autists with no social skills and chinese students

>tfw working the night shift and get paid more than day workers to do nothing and sit on my ass all night.

No, it’s not. If your degree was from MIT, you wouldn’t even have to apply. Employers on LinkedIn would literally scout you. Your education might be similar, but it is literally nothing compared to them. You’re a fucking idiot for thinking you’re as good as someone with a real degree lmao

Lucky duck.
>Britbog
Nevermind you're life will always inherently be shit.

I'd rather learn Norwegian or Finnish so one day I can move to bumfuck nowhere. At work I'd rather learn something work-related so in case someone asks I'll look good

I hope to god you don't live in britbong anymore and pay taxes there.. Atleast go somewhere with low taxes like Andorra

Let me tell you something useful anons. If you get the choice of shift durations, always go for the longest shift. I used to work 8 hours a day mon-fri, now i work 12 hours a day mon-wednesday. Its amazing how much time you save getting ready in the morning and commuting (an hour walk each way for me). Theres a bus, but walking helps keep my weight down. Previous fatass

HR Here, i have videos of you inappropriately touching the underage temps, won't be too hard to have you sent to prison as a pedophile.

I don't care how long you wasted your life for this company, i want my raise and you surely don't want to get sent to prison for raping a bunch of teens so lets agree to double my pay by.... oh 25%.

Attached: shiftyjewhasapropositionforyou.jpg (207x243, 10K)

Are you me? It's unironically comfy. I always had problems waking up early, but staying whole night isn't problem. Literally nobody else beside your team on open space during night, no managers, nobody. No one cares, if you play or watch something as long as work is done for next day.

>my guy
I am a space channel 5

>he thinks the only things necessary to make a computer work is a couple of wires
>what is hardware and software infrastructure lol?
>how do I get a computer?
>what is virtualization?
>what's a VPN? can you eat it?
>how do all of these services work?
>how do I open the doors?
>what's a security system?
Honestly I'm surprised you know how to brush your teeth but I might be giving you too much credit.

Has anyone seen my Stapler?

To all wagecuck brothers, you haven't lived if you haven't tried blasting this in the headphones when you show up to office in the morning youtube.com/watch?v=nBPK_oXeJgA

You’re opinions are meaningless dude. If you have to convince me to care it’s not an important job. Simple as that. You’re like the greeter at Walmart hahaha

Same here, night shift work i so much better. But we dont get paid extra, which is shit, but honestly, £9 per hour to listen to podcasts is pretty legit

Doesn't work for jobs that require thought and concentration, the max for people is around 3-4 hours of concentration after that you're less effective the more time you spend.

Lottery winnings aren't taxed here. I pay tax on any interest my money generates (not much) and any sizable cash gift I might give to someone and that has thus far been no one as I've kept the fact I've won a complete secret.

Except WGU is a real degree. Its regionally accredited and employers look highly on it. Better than getting yourself into debt for the same type of degree.

Haha yeah, show those normies. My music betrays the super cool shit I've been doing which I stopped doing to come here to make someone else rich for 8 hours. 8^)

HR here, Mbutu borrowed it and he has no obligation to return it.

Thats not even my job, i dont know what they do either. My point isnt about whether the job is good or not, my point is if you dont know what the job entails, how can you decide if its a good job or not?

>Having any energy by 5:45 after working since 9am
No.

But why stay in britbong, you could literally move anywhere

It's casual fursona day tomorrow. What animals are you guys dressing up as? For me, it's not a choice. It's a lifestyle.

Attached: 1267894.jpg (747x734, 152K)

>fucking teen puss on the company dime and only having to spend more of the companies money to fix it
EASYCHOICE

>paid to drive around a lot
How what?

Im so glad i am sick with a cold and called out of the office today. My monitor comes today and i didnt want to go to work anyway

Attached: Screenshot_20190714-143935_Amazon Shopping.jpg (1440x2960, 1.09M)

An artic fox of course yiff yiff wiggles ears

Not that guy, but britain is actually a nice place to be. The weather isnt great, but its never horrible either, mild climate, good quality of life (varying by where exactly of course). If i could live anywhere on earth for no extra cost, the only place i'd choose over the UK is Sydney Australia, and thats only because the views are spectacular around there

Because I live in Scotland and I like it here. I don't stay in any of the cities, its a legitimately pleasant existence as far as environment goes.

*disconnects desk phone*

>A nurse
So she does what the actual doctor is too busy to do?

Sups anons, just passing by to remember that you have to fill that report today alright? Just let it with Debora, your supervisor, because I will be golfing with Mr. Goldberg. See ya!

I watched the entirety of one piece from episode 1 to punk hazard on night shift in my office. That was the joy of being the only one in my department for 12 hours.

Just tell me what button to click and go back to your desk before I fire you, jackass. I run a delivery company terminal, not some stupid it bullshit.

dude...

Attached: 1473433959609.gif (267x200, 729K)

Not having to deal with many people, or traffic, is great but It fucked my ability to sleep properly. I'm probably going to have to move onto a day job soon.

Sure thing boss here ya go
Azur Lane
Fate Grand Order
Girls frontline
Fire Emblem Heroes
The Idolmaster: Cinderella Girls Starlight Stage

If it’s favored so much why hasn’t it gotten you a job? Everything on the website is bullshit dude. You fell for a scam like an old lady losing her husbands koneu

>You know what they do right?
She fucks black dudes

Goodmorning user how's it going? Another day another grind aint that right user? Hey Is dinner still on tonight? Me, your wife and you are still all going out the local italian place correct? Hey bro don't feel bad about sitting out in the car again because of your anxiety an allergies, i'll take care of your wife no problem. We'll have fun. *smiles and winks*

Attached: download (23).jpg (276x183, 7K)

>sit behind a fat fuck in a desk space
>can see his monitor from where I'm sitting
>does no work and instead browses around and plays games on his browser all day while I'm doing double the workload
>can't say anything because he's been here longer than me and is good friends with the boss
I wonder how my colleague feels when she gets home to her 3 kids (divorced) after a busy day.

Attached: 1463857914168.jpg (480x608, 126K)

I didn’t marry her for the money lmao I married her because she’s fuckin hot. Imagine trying to shame my wife like I care about her feelings hahahaha. You fucking bitter loser go type up some shit on your little computer lmao

Because Ohio sucks for I.T. If what you're saying is true, then I'll just cut my losses and take out a loan for a coding bootcamp.

>Divorced
Fine, because she siphoned every cent from that poor soul and stole his kids.

How you not gonna put Puzzle and Dragon? I guess it's popularity has waned.

*reconnects it* s-stop

"Hey bro! Did you see that hilarious thread on Yea Forums last night?!"

Attached: friendly-blond-guy-saying-hello-waving-friendly-at-camera-greeting-smiling-broadly-being-in-good-moo (1300x956, 106K)

This.
Unless it's month-end.

What does the Yea Forums company actually produce? I'm breaking my back for (((them))) and i think this is secretly a chinese shell corporation anyway.

Attached: 1545777160894.jpg (245x239, 41K)

N-no... i need to get back to work now...
>runs to the bathroom almost sobbing

You got kids? I have no responsibilities, so my sleeping pattern is usually just nocturnal. Even on my days off i wake up at 6pm and sleep at 10am. Couldnt today, had stuff to do in town, but helps not to swap back and fore constantly

A service that monitors millions of people

>Browse Yea Forums to distract from work
>Yea Forumstards are talking about work

Is cyber security/other IT jobs besides software engineer a meme? I desperately want to get out of lab work but im not sure if i care to code a ton. Also worried since im 26 id be entering a tech field at or past 30 so id be concerned about age discrimination.

Widgets mostly.

Chain smokers, fat fucks and deaths by DUI.

Get back in your cage cuck, the office bull is gonna make his rounds soon. You'll need to prepare your anus and clean it out of course.

Does ANYONE actually spend all day at work actually, y'know, working?
Aside from retarded boomers of course.

People who actually get ahead in life.

I worked my ass off from 16 to 30 and I had a bad accident and broke all the bones from my knee down and couldn't walk for 3 years, now I'm a NEET with some real estate I'm renting out and living in an apartment from the settlement.

I don't miss the office.

Nobody cares about your anime pictures and dumb comments so that should be a comfort at least.

Is that what white people tell themselves?

*Shitposts from work*

Attached: wnPa8yf.png (1024x1097, 602K)

I AM IMMUNE YOU FAGGOT

Attached: Immunity Doggo.jpg (800x993, 461K)

>nigger doesn't like to actually work and coasts by on other peoples labor
Shocking

sorry boss, I only care about Azur Lane, and the only one I knew besides it was FGO.
The other ones I randomly picked after a google search.

>Tfw mechanic
>Tfw I still make more than an office cuck
>Tfw I can sleep at work for hours or even the whole shift
This is why I never took that desktop position

Attached: 1564490726939.png (962x694, 541K)

user be a good wagie and return to your duties. Mr. kikberg is losing literal .00001 dollars by the second right now.

*dabs on white kids enriching Jews at their own expense*

i work outside a warehouse all day as a trucker to fund vidya. i wear what i want and say what i want, my coworkers have nothing in common with me but its pretty chill, we grill food during work hours on site all the time
is the grass really that much greener in an office setting? do you actually meet people who share your vidya interests?

Attached: 1551660893101.jpg (640x480, 55K)

Lmao this literally happened to me at a work event. If someone's incapable of holding a conversation that isn't about football I don't think I'm missing out on a lot

>not including FFBE

No, office is full of people who are either way too serious and don't really have hobbies besides watching TV or people who really wish they were somewhere else but know they can't DO anything else to earn money.

No, offices have more women so they're inherently worse

You're a hypocrite if all you wanna talk about are video games and japanese cartoons user. At least very few autists have the audacity to bring up politics in the workplace.

>He hates women
Women are hot, office mommie are my fetish. Are you gay or something?

I spent 800 dollars on it and blew up two Samsung Note 4's because I got so addicted to it that I would play it all day for 12+ hours until the batteries blew up from being cycled 6-8 times a day. :x

Damn this office water cooler thread is fun.

Attached: 1560130329001.jpg (850x693, 113K)

No, offices are full of failed normies like who get triggered by people not humoring them and whine like queers.

They do the jobs Anons don’t WANT to do.

Sorry, but not everyone is a white manchild with mommy issues, being around hot women isn't going to make them less annoying.

>Being this much of a gacha paypig
Just jerk off, it's faster and free. Jizzbrain.

Attached: 911.jpg (497x497, 22K)

My office job is pretty COMFY our boss pays for Pizza in the lunch room and has the fridge stocked up with snacks and drinks every week

Christ, I was shift supervisor at a billing dept and I routinely had to fire people for political shit and stupid WYTE PEEPUH shit they would print in our own office and put on the pushpin board.

Real life office women aren't the buxom, pantyhose and skirt-wearing ideal chicks you're imagining, user.
Real life office women are snarky, pedantic, controlling and shallow bitches, of various ugly shapes and sizes, and the worst are usually literal goblinas that have nothing in common with you, shittalk everyone behind their backs including each other, and form cliques, rarely interacting with anyone else. It's essentially high school 2.0, except they're older, fatter, and uglier and they know that so it sours them.

Did you reply to the wrong person? You're comment makes zero sense if you actually read the reply chain.

I had a few female co-workers who were into vidya but I was too much of an anxious beta to talk to them

>Did you reply to the wrong person?
>is the grass really that much greener in an office setting?
>No, offices are full of failed normies like who get triggered by people not humoring them and whine like queers.
I think you might be the one incapable of following reply chains.

No I've just worked with women before unlike you

When i did my interview for this start up i thought it was pretty professional then my first week during friday the woman who interviewed me just fired up rainbow six and played for the last hour of work and left and nobody batted an eye

How is saying someone is wrong for putting down people who are trying to have a casual conversation with you like an autist? That's the opposite of getting triggered by people not humoring them. I'm pointing out the hypocrisy and pure social ignorance of only wanting to talk about subjects YOU care about, again to opposite of being mad someone isn't humoring you. Are you dumb? (you)

That pic gives me ptsd.

I work in an office with several women and it's exactly like this. If that's true, is the "camaraderie" meme of men-only work envinronments true as well?

I'm with this guy. They're awful, it's like high school. They form cliques and it's them vs the entire department, but they're nice to your face and then create little inside jokes they reference to one another in front of you. They'll say something innocuous like 'More like .. a stapler, amirite?' And they laugh and paw at each other how funny it is and ... FUCK WOMEN. ARGH.

Attached: 1562081588650.gif (320x240, 2.11M)

Same, but I did not talk to her because she looked like Ramona Flowers.

>That's the opposite of getting triggered by people not humoring them.
When someone has a casual conversation with someone at work about something they don't care about, they're humoring them.
If I don't care about sports and don't want to talk about sports and this causes YOU, a third party bystander, to get upset enough to speak out, that's YOU taking issue with me not humoring someone else and discussing a hobby I don't care about with them.
That said, I'm not that other user and actually enjoy football anyways.
Is this bait?

>work with mid twenties office mommy
>she hits on me all the time
>Constantly points out where there are no cameras and says "wouldn't it be funny if we fucked there?"
>Too beta to engage further
>Cry and masturbate every time this happens when i get home
Yes i have

In many of those, probably. The problem is, men-only work environments don't exist unless it's a tough job that women refuse to do because they're lazy bitches, e.g; garbage pickup, tank cleaning, anything filthy or extremely physical, basically.

>>Constantly points out where there are no cameras and says "wouldn't it be funny if we fucked there?"
Jesus christ dude, at least make your wank fantasy somewhat believable.
Also
>mid twenties office mommy
What are you, fucking 13?

I used to work across from this black woman, I can't remember her name but she insisted everyone call her by her last name despite the fact she was like 30. Ms. Fields or something. Anyway, we worked on headsets in a call center and she had her canines gold plate and I could watch that woman talk all day and would have such crippling blue balls from having an erection watching the light glisten off that woman's teeth, she was like Halle Berry. God I wanted to lick those teeth. Castlevania right boys?

>eurotard
>”let me tell you about the USA”

Attached: 4674DD60-A944-4E9E-BABA-A13F32EF4495.jpg (720x696, 56K)

Now how about that cute asian college graduate that just started working there?

Attached: DFS8KMeVoAARpJC.jpg (1178x750, 120K)

So what's your fishing level, David?

There are a lot of implications going on around here. I don't get upset if someone doesn't want to talk about something at all and try to engage in any and all conversation to avoid work for mr. shekelberg. I couldn't care less about your figma collection or how your hrt is going but i don't get triggered by it.

Can someone explain why white guys call women who are slightly older than them "mommies?"
It's extremely cringeworthy.

It actually happened, and no just young milfs turn me on. Stop posturing.

Cheer up, Pepe. Lunch is in like 3 hours man, we got this. Don't let Gnorgstein Duhobbswits get you down with that British shit.

>It actually happened
I'm sure it did user, I'm sure she also walks around the office in see-through stockings and bends over just enough for you to see her asshole.
I would say you should submit the story to Playboy, but I doubt that's a reference zoomers would understand.

fug

disable tree view in options dummy
that's reddit style

>He's this jealous women don't give him attention
have sex

This but without the girlfriend.

Sorry, I'm not white enough to believe something so obviously fake.
No one who refers to a 25 year old woman as a "mommy" is getting any pussy whatsoever.

Should have called her Mrs. Butterworth

>log into server
>it's running dog slow
>check process list
>4 minecraft servers and a bitcoin miner

For fucks sake

>is still poorer than white people
Kek

Dumb slut who sucks off the execs. Seem enough of those. Yeah she's real "qualified"

You could probably just buy a fake cigarette and see if anyone notices.

So who is the leaky fuck that shared our Gamescom information to some fucking discord e-girl? If I find out that the leak was caused in this office, well I hope their fetish is being a human fucking toilet, because they are in some deep shit. Honestly, I do hope those JPEGs were worth it, have one last wank until I tear your body to bits, until you look like that fucking fetus from P.T.

attractive girls are the worst, always sperg out

Does anyone else feel severely depressed when you realize how much of your life is being spent killing time at work? Like, just occupying a chair and doing nothing because your work is done, but you can't leave the office until 5?
I haven't had shit to do all summer because of an audit happening in September, and my boss won't let me start up any projects that may interfere with it. Since most of my job is projects I'm just sitting here now and I feel like my brain is melting. I'm also out of internet shit to look at by like 10am every day so I just end up cycling through all the same Warframe forums hoping someone will eventually say something interesting fuck

>Gets replaced by blacks and spics
*Dabs on your demographic destiny*

*

Attached: slice_in_the_loop_peter_capaldi_malcolm_tucker_01.jpg (600x200, 23K)

Whatever you have to tell yourself jamal

You're thinking of Penthouse

Okay there Phil Fish did your shitty indie game not work out?

Sure thing Cody, just be sure to treat "mommy" right when you do eventually smash.

>Gets shot by police during a routine stop and frisk
*dabs on your grave*

How do I tell a woman I've been extremized by a basketweaving forum giga pudding gif that I don't want to touch genitals and would prefer if she simply lay down so I can lick her teeth though is what I'm wondering.

I'm a white dude and I don't have jungle fever, she probably thought I was a pervert or something haha.

>Lives in state where stop and frisk is illegal
*Dabs on your meth addiction*

Wait a minute... Holy shits user that's the manga I pick up from /wsg/ years ago thank for reminding user

>reading about Yea Forums at work before I go to work

Try some audio books, I had a job working nights at a gas station and I listened to the entire collection of Philip K. Dick until they made a huge part of the city section 8 and it got too dangerous to work there for obvious reasons. It got robbed 3 times within 12 months of me leaving.

Tbh i'd rather be a white methhead than a nigger crack addict, we clearly have better taste in life ending drugs.
Whites: 1
Niggers: 0

I thought race-baiting was all falseflagging but it's becoming increasingly difficult to believe it's not an infestation of perpetually seething 3rd wolders

I'll stick with weed and booze, leave the hard shit for suicidal maniacs.

All me. What are you gonna do about it IT monkey? Go back to your cuck closet the big boys are playing.

Do not even compare me to that two-bit con artist. I know the leak couldn't have come from you, or your desk full of dragon dildos and gay furry comics. Now I’d love to stop and chat to you, but I’d rather visit each planet in fucking No Man's Sky, twice.

Attached: in-the-loop-53-20150626063704249.jpg (608x406, 55K)

It's just one sexually frustrated white cuck larping as a nigger for easy (you)s to stroke his peen to.

I did not meant "attractive"(even though the actress is of course). This song explains what I meant: youtu.be/TSKizLRFbTo

Then why are you trying so hard to collect them? You should stop being a control freak that's not healthy

>Bogdanoff, tech support is peaceful.
Activate backdoor bugs and crash the production host

Attached: images(2).jpg (234x216, 5K)

You are the autistic one for not getting his joke.

(you)s and fetish images fuel me like any other sane person.

Attached: 124904-street-fighter-juri-sitting-street-fighter-iv.jpg (1024x1474, 90K)

Based Stacy

Working hard or hardly working?

>work in office
>decent pay, good benefits
>no room for professional development
>have been working here for one and a half years

As a talentless hack (masters in teaching english, so basically nothing but a debt), what options do I have other than suicide? Become a coder? Serious question.

Attached: 1473572317030.jpg (2048x1152, 632K)

Another day another peso as they say

What lab work do you specialize in? It would probably be easier to find desk work that's closely related to your expertise

How easy was it to get your masters in english? I want to go to college and this is the only subject that interests me and i'm good at.
>inb4 don't do it
Just tell me what your experience was like

Don't do it.

Lol hows he gonna hang if he cant stand up

Most office jobs have productivity mandated at whatever the lowest possible expectation is. My office is 90% middle aged women and they're all useless. I get their days worth of work done in 2 hours then I just dick around on youtube while no one is looking at my cubicle.

You'll get back as much as you put into it. You can get by without learning much if you're not invested. You'll find most data was only conducted in the past 50 years and we're still at the point where we're still conducting studies with 20 participants and passing it off as useful to the field.

Give me the extended bluepill version of that statement.

But it also comes with a middle aged women wage, you can't build a family with that

I don't understand what studies you can preform with english, i don't really understand what the field is comprised of at a high level. Elaborate. The way i imagine it, you read classic literature, learning how to properly write and consistently write papers and such on said literature. Am i wrong?

>have job
>making good money
>no debts
>saving to buy house
>have fiance
>lift weights 3x a week
>want nothing more than to be a neet that plays vidya all day like when i was in school

Attached: 1561140357447.png (419x370, 127K)

Not him, but I work one of those jobs too and I'm making $23/hr straight out of college.
Not amazing, but pretty damn decent.

>have no experience
>need 3-5 years to get an entry level job in the industry

b-b-bros...

I quit.

Well, I did say teaching english. Surely you can imagine studies involving that.

As for the classes themselves, your description fits that better. You may need to do literature reviews where you synthesize many research papers and provide pedagogical implications.

>normies in the office are talking about epstein

Attached: 1551826010032.jpg (246x232, 20K)

Be real with me, should I become a coder? I realize I can learn on my own, but I would rather pay $10,000 for a three-month camp to fuel my motivation and get on the correct path with job support.

I'm thinking as I work at the entry level 30k a year shitty coder job, I will naturally learn while working until I can work up to the six figure job some decade from now.

Don't be silly, user. Do you think this is a movie? That you'll win the lottery? Hahaha, no. Get back in your cubicle and make someone you'll never meet more rich or I'll write you up.

>normies talking about video games

Attached: pp.jpg (483x468, 18K)

>Look at me wagie brothers! i'm earning [insert arbitrary amount of monopoly dollars here] and have [insert arbitrary amount of material possessions you don't need] oh god i'm so happy. I'm so glad i wasted away [ridiculous number] of years for that company instead of working to improve myself and personal relationships! Damn those poor neet fools will never know the pleasure of coming into work half an hour early, doing work that means fucking nothing in the grand scheme of things and coming home to go to bed early and do it all again the next day!

Attached: nononono.jpg (250x244, 4K)

haha munny isnt real XD communism now!!

Nice joke user now get back into the bitcoin mines where you belong.

seething jewish slave

haha yes da joos are responsible for all my problems, i dont have to improve myself at all, communism N O W !!!

You better check your email, mr. rosenberg might want you to come into the office on your day off again. Don't get upset i'm sure all that work for meager gains will pay off in another 40 years when you retire.

lol wageslaves kys

aaa

I would but i'm on the clock, our souls belong to this company anyway, they'd just use the on site necromancer to bring us back.

cumcranium except for 3D LMAO

based Ft Wayne nigga

Smokers stink and smell fucking revolting. Nobody likes you fags

>tfw getting fired for jerking off in the supply closet
>again
i finally understand what "not safe for work" means
it doesn't matter if your boss sees big tiddy vidya girls on your phone while you're on lunch.
the real trap is making you too horny to focus on your job

Attached: o-oh geez.png (790x568, 516K)

The only people who actually care are autist virgins like yourself. And in the real world, not fictional Yea Forums world where doing anything but drinking tap water is bad, most working people smoke so it's a nice social activity during breaks.

Derek I know that's you I saw you on CCTV

>tfw working while at full mast makes me far more efficient and motivated
What a world

coder is already becoming the next meme business with too many suckers like you thinking the same thing
enjoy being wrung and tossed aside like a used up rag

That sounds hilarious.

It may sound like a dream come true but the problem with having that much free time on your job is the lack of stability. It'll make you question if the work you do actually do is enough to keep you from getting fired.

if neets are bettering themselves why are they still posting frogs on Yea Forums?

Attached: 1531852692780.jpg (1159x557, 158K)

Dilate

Most people on a salary get better benefits and more vacation time than hourly workers. That's the trade off with getting a salary
>inb4You'reTheOutlierAndRecieveABillionBenefits
I don't care, I'm telling you about the general average.

Just what ive heard from amerifats man, im not guessing

Holy fuck how do people work office cuck jobs without killing themselves? Physical jobs that require actual activity are a million times more engaging and rewarding than being stuck in a wage cage cubical

Attached: disgust.jpg (262x246, 18K)

the biggest cuck in this thread

Attached: 1479911091929.gif (344x203, 3.88M)

Its not as fun as you'd think, with no rationing, gaming gets a little boring after a while. I work 4 days a week, so i get a full 3 days to do nothing but play, and i get so bored. Its different if friends are online, but i cant soloplay online games anymore, just waiting for something good to come out. Even started going for platinum trophies in Final Fantasy games because its a huge time sink, got 13 done, about to finish 10 once i finish this shitty blitzball minigame. Worst minigame ive ever seen

>shake protein shake
>fat middle aged women asks if it's margaritas
FUCK OFF KAREN

Implying you'll make that much.

Forklifts

*Goes into the bathroom and shits in the sink*

Depends what kind of person you are i guess, im too lazy for manual labour, but i hate the idea of an office cubicle. Currently working as a support worker for people with complex needs (duchennes muscular dystrophy, down syndrome, spinal injuries, that kind of thing). One of the guys i look after actually wants me to take him to Australia for 3 months, so i get paid to go on holiday, which is pretty nice

>how do people work office cuck jobs without killing themselves?
I browse Yea Forums and listen to podcasts/youtube videos/music while I'm not doing anything.

most based is working in a warehouse and sitting on the toilet ''shitting'' for 10 minutes every hour

>he doesn't block/reroute obviously non-work traffic on company computers
you SHITHEAD

WE LITERALLY WORK FOR Yea Forums

ACTUALLY FUCKING KILL YOURSELF

All I've been recieving are some stupid slips of paper with numbers on them, when are they going to give me my promised hotpockets?

How much does the janitor make here?

There is nothing based about manual labor, José

IM AN ACTUAL WAGEKEK
I WORK IN A RETAIL CHAIN
aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
LET ME OUT LET ME OUT LET ME OUT
I WANT A COMFY OFFICE JOB ITS NOT FAIR

Blessed post

Janitors don't receive monetary compensation

Why would they work at this office for free?

user, I used to be a neet for seven years, now I'm a wageslave and frankly I'm a lot happier, I have some people at work I talk with every day, a kitty, and most important, no more massaging mommy's feet for GBP.

Guys, has anyone beaten Peggle? I'm struggling to get past the first level.

fuck you

Alright I need to touch base with Jimmy at 3 to distinctively innovate performance based leadership skills, thus intrinsically generating flexible initiatives. It'll mostly be about how we can holisticly extend collaborative resources to monotonectally procrastinate multimedia based process improvements.

It must suck to have your bday on September 11th. Well I guess you'll never forget.

An office job that barely sustains you is still wageslavery.
Fuck all those guys that want you to intern with them for free meanwhile you bleed real money.

>forcibly reroutes Yea Forums and 4channel traffic to reddit
You wouldnt know the difference anyway and complaining about it would out yourself

I used to do that, never again homie

>daylights saving ends
>"i can't believe how dark its getting outside"
God damnit Karen you fat bitch.

>Meanwhile in Chinese immigrant basement mmo gold generating sweatshop Yea Forums...

I thought not taking the lump was a stupid thing to do, but maybe it changes from country to country

They dont care about their own people so why should we care about them?

Attached: MoOLzj6.jpg (1024x640, 201K)

Bro what you got against Karen?

She drinks all the coffee, doesnt make a new pot and then writes passive aggressive emails about people not being repectiful in the common areas. Fuck her.

>An office job that barely sustains you is still wageslavery.
But it sustains me decently, even while I'm a student.

It's only gonna get better when they actually take me in.
The only problem that still stands is lack of work that teaches me things that I can use in the future.

Browse other boards. Personally I'll browse /ck/ for a mix of interesting stories, recipes, and autism, and other times I'll browse /adv/ for the cringe

Out of the goodness of their hearts.

You are the autistic for not getting the 4 layer joke

used to have some text based subreddit (I know but at least it's distracting) disguised as an Outlook mail thing
Arrived at 9 and then worked for real around 2pm

avoid red states, those are the "right-to-work" states, which in practice somehow means "you can be terminated at any time, for any reason"

In time, user. Just get look for some temp-to-hire positions in office settings and make a big enough impression for them to actually hire you.

keke npc's spotted

What's your job title?

My office job isn't too bad. It's not very fulfilling but at least you can kinda zone out while listening to music/podcasts. I miss working part time though - 4 days a week was great.

>everyone complaining about not having enough to do
>have to kill time through web browsing and podcasts

God i wish i had these problems. Lab work is nothing but work and stress and unrealistic expectations

>Work as a project leader
>Entire team is retarded and can barely use computers while not knowing what the project is
>Can't micromanage because the specialists managers will complain to my manager
>My manager complains because I'm barely meeting goals
>Clients complain too
>I make less than all the specialists
>All in a shitty office where everyone wants to die
What can I do for work that isn't wagecucking?

C'mon, guys, free yourselves from the office. Become a video game tester and get your foot in the industry. It'll be like a dream come true.
youtube.com/watch?v=BRWvfMLl4ho

>being a manager of other people
lol, i will never EVER fall for this meme. I realized in my first retail job that nobody wants to actually do anything or are simply too retarded to do anything. Imagine being a glorified retard wrangler with quotas to reach? You couldn't pay me $50/h for the amount of stress that would generate (for reference I only make $18/h right now)

>tfw work 6 days a week as part time
I feel like a full time wagie minus the benefits due to having to commute all week even if the shifts are only 4-6 hours long. Only when business slows down in winter do I get the based 3-4 days a week schedule.

Attached: 1556220209039.png (500x500, 205K)

*Heats up fish in the microwave*

>Video game testers
I don't want to start hating the only hobby left that i enjoy.

>Tfw I'm only making $32 CDN, so about 24 USD but after tax only $17.25 USD
Kill me.

>took friday and today off for my birthday
>feel lost as hell being at home
>gonna waste all of my free time not playing video games
>tomorrow is going to come faster than i know
>gonna wish i was at home playing video games
I just turned 30. Fuck me.

*Takes the last of the coffee and doesn't make more*

You deserve death.

tell me a bit about yourself
what do you bring to our company?

Attached: 1558367765542.jpg (2448x3264, 1.17M)

You are one of those huh?

I bring this
*Unzips dick*

>tfw not allowed to have a beard because it looks unclean
what do they know
uncultured swines

Attached: 1555163940410.jpg (612x408, 54K)

Where is it user?

I-i u-um thats i-it

Well i attending saint bootlicker university and i interned (worked for FREE) for two years. I'm very outgoing and driven and plan to make great strides for this company. As a janitor for your company i'd make sure your personal bathrooms are spotless one hundred percent of the time. When do i start?

I think we are done here

How do I git gud at job interviews?

Attached: 1561600254880.jpg (780x846, 53K)

im sorry you need more experience to clean shit in our establishment

>it's another "Yea Forums wageslave at his desk fantasizing about either starting his own business, learning how to draw and live off a Patreon doing lewd shit, being interviewed after creating a very successful video game or just fucking off to nowhere and building a log cabin in some remote forest" episode
ahah those sure are some silly dreams LOL

Yea Forums this is that creepy janitor, I know you pad the toilet seat when you go to the bathroom, it's really pathetic. You aren't using a public bathroom it's a bathroom in a government building, you aren't gonna get cooties.

>wagecuck isn't allowed to groom himself how he wants because it might aesthetically offend his boss
Jesus

Just be yourself bro
(Confidence, upselling your accomplishments, have an example of a struggle you overcame)

>he doesn't do night shift
haha it's like paid neetdom

Attached: 1564583416343.png (720x540, 428K)

I'm sitting in my office on wally street hungover as fuck eating my lunch and shitposting with you retards. It's not bad desu

Attached: 1561275424695.jpg (687x693, 68K)

>uses diffuser with strong ass lavender oil in the office... in a MEDICAL OFFICE
But it's natural!

Yeah, so is chili pepper oil and they both make my eyes burn. Stop putting weird shit in the air.

Working for a big conglomerate were the best five years of my life.
The job was great, co-workers were awesome and half of them are still good friends of mine. Great pay, amazing benefits, good hours, creativity was encouraged, etc.

Overall just an amazing time. Especially the company holidays.
Shame they closed the office in our town. I wasn't ready to leave everything behind so now I'm stuck with a mediocre job, thats kinda ok.

>You couldn't pay me $50/h for the amount of stress that would generate (for reference I only make $18/h right now)

nigga i would work an amazon wage slave job where i'm only allowed to piss in bottles for $50/hour

granted my fetish is involved but the point is that kind of money nowadays is getting rare. i'm a sometimes retard wrangler at only 15/hour now, supposed to get steady raises every 6 months though.

B-but my PHD in communications...

Just be yourself, except unironically. A lot of places seem to just want honest people, not people that lie to impress. I've gotten all of my jobs by being as honest as I possible can
>So what do you do outside of work?
I play computer games and surf the internet. I have a few really close friends that I play games with multiple times per week so it never gets old
No need to mince words.

Replace "learning to draw lewds" with "creating funny YouTube content" and you've got me 4/4

Jokes on you, I learned the art of hover shitting.

Whoever keeps placing loli lewds on the walls, stop it. The janitors already have a lot to deal with.

>had appendicitis
>took my whole 2 paid sick days when I felt fine on day 4

Attached: 1543970767149.png (1280x720, 615K)

>work in IT
>find out the company is bankrupt
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I WORKED MY ASS OFF TO GET TO THIS POINT

NO, do not listen to the advice telling you "just bee yourself :)" that shit is bullshit, instead be the best you that you can be. You don't have to change yourself or sandbag.

nassau county over here.

enjoy your nightly commute through niggerville and hope they dont steal your DS.

also, how's the markets today? import export here, the 7yuan thing is going to fuck with retail and shipping for the next 5 years.

I shit on the floor and leave it

I ain't complainin mmmhmm

Attached: Scruffy.png (250x334, 60K)

>coworker asks you to go out drinking
whats the right play here?

Attached: 1556828626984.jpg (1150x1090, 315K)

No it's fine go ahead.

IM GONNA SAY IT, ANONS

Attached: jah.png (192x335, 57K)

>don't just be yourself
>just be your BETTER self :)

>second week of my new job with the county
>the IT STILL doesnt have all my access worked out
>supervisors in meetings all morning and cant give me anything to do until mid afternoon
>been shitposting all day
Ah, the wonders of bureaucracy

"No thanks, I appreciate the offer. Let's do something else some other time, though?"

I hate that shit. If I wanted to go out drinking, I'd ask you a week or two ago to plan it.

Go out drinking bit don't have a lot

Just go for it, they took the chance to ask you so they honestly want to get to know you.

Break up the daily routine and do it. Worst that happens is that you spend a couple hours and dollars not playing the same video games you play every single day.

That's right, "just be yourself" is accepting what you are right at this moment and making no real efforts, while changing yourself is just forced and dishonest. Maximize the good and minimize the bad, be the best you that you can be.

>tell people im off on vacation
>they still call me
Fuck you faggots.

>a week or two to plan going to a pub a drinking

I mean, if you're ultra busy, sure.

Typically I work 10 hours a day. If it's not on a Friday and planned, I'm not going to go. I want to get home and enjoy the little time off/to my self I can get. And that's not forced overtime. I'm working 60 hour weeks lately. I want to kill myself just to be free but then I'd never see my family again so fuck that. I'm fucked.

While you're right, I always assumed that this was the default state that people would live in. I can't wrap my head around the idea of not even attempting to better yourself in areas that you realize you could improve on.

My boss literally called someone to produce a report the first day of their bereavement (which was the day after their mother died.)

>office meeting because someone shit next to the toilet

Only play vidya when you feel like it user, you tend to not to enjoy it if you're not in the right mood.

You could always just quit and be broke and poor user. Then you'd be able to see your family and not work for them if you no longer care about the money

It took my company a month to give me my keycard to access the building and another month to actually give me a log in for the computers. They still haven't given me a login for their database and I've been here for 5 months. Feels weird having to ask coworkers for their account info.

My boss wouldn't let me have the day off for a funeral when a family member died of cancer.
>I have a funeral to go to my family member died of cancer i can't be here on X date
>Can't you just come in after?
This is a real conversation, i just didn't show up that day and he was seething the next time i came into work and i just smugly lied and told him the funeral was too far a drive to make it in reasonable time to my shift. What a tool, i'm still mad.

Well the problem is being yourself is all you can really do, so when you ask for advice and get told "just be yourself", it's just a gamble at best depending on who you say it to and just defeating at worst.
Like me, I'm a loser with no friends or self-esteem so telling me to "be myself" just doesn't cut it.
Not everyone has the drive to better themselves, especially when they feel their own life is out of their control.

>called work and said i'd be in later
>i will not be in later nor at all

Attached: 1444225698505.jpg (470x595, 201K)

meh it could be worse. as in boeing worse.

Attached: 1562917968235.png (875x1005, 88K)

You have every right to take the day off for a funeral, your boss is a sack of shit.

>"Here's your new year contract, user."
>"Wait, why does this still have the starting salary on it? And the 1 month try out period, and why is the date from last year? Did you just copy this?"
>"Woops" *scribbles in new information with a fucking pen* "That should cover it."
The power of managers is truly an awesome thing to witness.

... 10 keks per minute?

Are you same user that asked about how to get better at interviews? Because no one's first few interviews go well at all. As long as you're going in with your best effort, and willing to keep track of where you messed up in order to improve for the next interview, you WILL eventually find a job. As long as you 1, try your best and 2, actually work on those improvements, you'll eventually find one. Anecdote time:
Like I still remember one specifically where I sent the people my resume and brought my own copy but when I showed up, they didn't bring the one I emailed to them. They asked me "So where's our copies?" and looked at me like I was retarded. It was over before I even walked in and it hurt like a bitch. From then on, I learned to bring like 3-4 extra copies in a folder.