My name is falkenhoff, and I will be your guide on your quest, what is your name traveler?

go from whence I came

Troll

This.

>Can someone understand please?

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watah

Go north

kill jester

pick up troll

drink Barry's Red Cola

You find yourself in a labyrinth, there are passages to your north, east and a staircase below
What do you choose Yea Forums?

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boardgame online?

Galstaff, you have entered the door to the north. You are now by yourself standing in a dark room.The pungent stench of mildew emanates from the wet dungeon walls.

Focken, I wonder where that staircase may lead, thinking bout it it's a good option, but it's dark and that, might just take the passage north, it's sunny outside less likely thieves will come popping out of the woods this time of day, but dee dee, treasure might be waiting for you a top the staircase there lad

norf

Where are the cheetos?

You travel north deeper into the labyrinth and find yourself in a chamber containing a skeleton wearing a suit of armour, a goblet and book on a shelf and paths to your east and west
What action do you take traveler?

They're right next to you.

he's literally live on twitch right now

pick up staircase

Get Skeleton

fuck jester

You pick up the Skeleton tossing aside the suit of armour, you can hear chattering from his teeth as if he is trying to tell you something

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I cast a spell.

Ye can pick up the 1kg bundle of feathers but ye can't pick up the 1kg block of steel cause it's too heavy, mate

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Silently take goblet, and go west

Go back wherest you came

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learn the skeleton's secrets

Wheres the mountain dew?

In the fridge, duh!

Take goblet
Quaff goblet

I wanna cast a spell!

The skeleton calls you a gayboy for touching his boner
You head west with the goblet and skeleton calling you gay and see a shadowy figure to the north

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but Jingle is our friend!

Can I have a Mountain Dew?

Yes! You can have a mountain dew! Just go get it.

aye falconhoof my name's robbie

INSPECT GOBLET

Shout who's there

Sexually harass the skeleton.

EQUIP Skeleton Femur

It is a regular copper goblet, perhaps it may come in handy later

While attempting to sexually excite the skeleton by rubbing his thigh his leg falls off and he flee's hopping away calling you a poofter and a virgin
You equip the femur as a weapon

You call out to the darkness and hear no reply from the person except the skeleton calling you a faggot
To your north is the shadowy figure and to your south is whence you came
How do you proceed traveller?

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I can cast any of these, right? On the list?

Yes, any of the first-level ones.

Fuck jester

kill jester

I'm gonna get a soda. Anyone want one?

Put goblet on the skelly's head and run back whence i came from and up the stairs

What's the ploblem?

Attached: firefox_0K3uCdhq5o.png (1127x931, 1.2M)

Go whence I came, inspect the book

>That image
Would this work?

that's a big mushroom

That's a pretty nice idea.
I think I will make a little website for that.

only one way to find out

The /qst/ board right here on Yea Forums
Shame it sucks

Traveller how do you know about the Jester?

You go back from whence you came and inspect the book, it is written in a language you do not understand
There are paths west from whence you came, east and south what do you do traveller?

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Hey, Grimm, I'm not in the room, right?

What room?

I wanna cast Magic Missile!

would've made one years ago, but lack of knowledge is what it is. maybe we can join forces hehe.

The where hes casting all these spells from.

Take armor
Don armor

Fuck jester

shame it was attached to /tg/ for so long too, /tg/ already got ruined once by a mod deciding he was its king and then moot decided text-quests should be lumped in with tabletop

He hasn't cast anything yet!

I am though if you'd listen. I'm casting Magic Missile.

Why are you casting Magic Missile? There's nothing to attack here.

>know Jester
My friend doesn't not work for the show

I-I'm attacking the darkness!

Fine, fine. You attack the darkness.

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There's an elf in front of you.

Whoa!

That's me, right?

He's wearing a-a-a brown tunic, and he has grey hair, and blue eyes.

Which Elf would you be friends with Traveller?

You put on the armor, There are paths west from whence you came, east and south what do you do traveller?

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wait a minute fokenhoff, why do i need a guide for my quest?

No, I don't. I have grey eyes.

Go east

Let me see that sheet.

You see a lot of trees with squirrels. one tree has something shiny on it, but it is heavily guarded by squirrels. What do you do?

Shake nuts out of the surrounding trees to distract the squirrels
Squirrels are serious business, just fifteen is enough to take down an eldritch interplanar monster

You go east, you encounter our good friend Jingle the Jester who joins our party, Jingle why don't you introduce yourself to our traveller?
>Greetings, travellers. I am Jingle.
>Quick of wit, I'm fast and nimble.
>Many jokes and many quips have passed between my funny lips.
>By poking fun and making merry, our journeys won't be half as scary.
>So don't be timid, don't be nervous, Jingle's 'ere, at your service.
To your west is whence you came, to your east is a faint light, how do you proceed traveller?

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Well, it says I have... it says I have blue, but I decided I want grey eyes.

fookinnnnnnnnnnnnn.....

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Kill jester.

Whatever. Okay, you guys can talk to each other now if you want.

Sodomise jester

Kill jester

Hello.

Hello.

Squirrels go fucking crazy after seeing all those nuts going down. It's like the end of the world. Actually it is the end of the world. Squirrels in their frenzy devour the whole planet. You and everyone you ever knew is dead now.

happily invite jester to out party

muffet of tea

I am Galstaff, Sorcerer of Light.

Then how come you had to cast Magic Missile?

GIVE PIPE TO JESTER

kill jester

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Y-y-y-you guys are being attacked.

Kill yestah

>Which Elf would you be friends with Traveller?
ah dunno climb out the windae

But Jingle is our friend, she is here to help us

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Do I see that happening?

Marry Jester

It's mah game, kill ah.

I bet more than just quips have passed between her lips

No! You're outside, by the tavern.

Cool I get drunk!

put troll in bag

Ugh.
There are... there are seven ogres surrounding you.

How could they surround us? I had Morden Kaiden's Magical Watchdog cast.

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No, you didn't!

I'm getting drunk! Are there any girls there?

Bus heading to YOKER..

I choose to open a can of Barry's red cola. Sparkling, tasty and refreshing - a great companion on any adventure...

I totally did! You asked me if I wanted any equipment before this adventure and I said "no". But I need material components for all my spells so I cast Mordenkainen's Faithful Watchdog.

But you never actually cast it.

Man I love that stuff.

Mmmm Danone...

Roll the dice to see if I'm getting drunk!

Ugh... yeah you are.

Are there any girls there?

Yeah!

I did, though! I completely said when you asked me...

No you didn't! You didn't actually say that you were casting the spell so now there's ogres okay?

shame he's been reduced to streaming

his stream are actually pretty alright

I can't stand anyone on twitch except for Limmy, and maybe those two exbc chinks in korea that eat at 7-11 and fight all day long

Ogres? Man, I got an ogre-slaying knife! It's got a +9 against ogres.

You're not there! you're getting drunk!

Okay. But if there's any girls there I wanna do them!

Whats your favorite sketch? For me, its ambulance.
youtube.com/watch?v=EtBil3wv8UY

His way of comedy is good for skits, not for hours of constant streaming.

Shame no one will commision him for another show. I bought his book, which was al'right.

You're alright user.

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youtu.be/gthPJPOtGlA
youtu.be/YBqSBsVkibg
youtu.be/4cAnM2vhAZU
youtu.be/xB10MGZ71Tg
youtu.be/YynlsBHbrIk
Kino

Tell skeleton “I’ve got a bone to pick with you.”.

The man should be deemed a saint

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COMPUTAH
FIND ALL INSTAHNCES OF "COOMBRAIN POSTAHS"

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Why do I only see the Adventure Call, free wa-uh, and the steel is heavier than feathers sketch from this guy? Are the rest all shit? Because those are all solid.

youtube.com/watch?v=KHiJ6yapUkI&t=24m0s
reminder that this fag shamelessly ripped this bit off from david firth, maker of salad fingers

>shitting on Tommy
What's wrong with these people.

I memorized fundamentally useless stuff like "Mordenkainen" and "Khelben "Blackstaff" Arunsun" what feels like decades ago. Unfortunately it was, indeed, decades ago.

>david firth invented shite call-in shows

>being a zionist

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Why wouldn't you shit on that dipshit.

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theyre bitin er

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The dee dee sketches are great
m.youtube.com/watch?v=pTfC3YpMDMw

>reduced to streaming
poor man,making thousands while playing video games.

Kill. Jester.

Ghey

>but uhhh, he's making money
Aye, it must be high quality content then.

I bet you're from yoker, take your ninja throwing scissors elsewhere you nob

HE'S GOT FEVER

AND THE ONLY PRESCRIPTION IS

The reason his stream cam is 60fps is he had to buy a good camera for something he is making for tv now.

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youtube.com/watch?v=1zwxIMMGZro

So she's gonna be 'ere fer the whole quest, is she?