Game takes religion seriously

I think the joke is how serious and down to earth they are compared to real life Mormons

Yeah until you learn literally anything about them. They are the Scientologists of Christianity. Mormons are batshit crazy. You have to pay mandatory tithes to the church, you can't eat certain foods or drinks for nonsensical reasons, you are in it for life unless you do something egregious that forces them to excommunicate you, no dating non-mormons, missionaries are subject to EXTREME limitations on what they can/can't do (like calling home), and a bunch of other wacky shit. Being a Mormon is a nightmare.
Mormonism takes all the worst part of other religions and rolls them into one. Also it was founded by a fucking retard con-artist Joseph Smith in the 19th century who says angels spoke to him and gave him gold tablets to read off of that said Jesus was actually American and Native Americans are the real jews and they are red because they killed Jesus.

wtf

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are we sure he wasn't drunk when writting this?

>campouts
>high adventure
>dodgeball in the church gym
>pot lucks
>service projects with the bros
>church ball
Are you high? Growing up mormon is great.

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Don't forget about Kolob

wtf

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I’m glad in the Fallout universe that Salt Lake City is just nothing but ash fuck mormies

>cult member drinking the sugar-free caffeine-free woman-enslaving kool-aid

Mormons have it better than Jehovah's witnesses desu

Mormon guys are cute, I want to fuck one

Sounds gay

>New Vegas made Mormons cool
How the fuck did they pull that off?

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Tell them you are C of E and the English Reformation was the greatest liberating moment in Christian history. Amerishart
God-botherers are clueless as to how to respond.

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By making them Mormons only in name. Joshua doesn't do anything Mormon-y except quote the bible.

The best line ever.

Jehovah's Witnesses are just self-loathing idiots, Mormons are batshit crazy retards. It's Islam for white people, except Mormons have killed more Americans than Muslims have.

That said "Mormonism" in New Vegas is so superficial as to be utterly meaningless, as the only religious references are quotations from the Old and New Testament, aka the parts of Mormonism that weren't made up by a murderous, sexually depraved 1800's snake oil salesman who was driven out of every town he ever lived in (and considering he started in New England and made it nearly to Utah, that's a considerable amount) for robbing little old ladies blind

It won't work because they know you by now, but if a Mormon ever comes to you say "I am disfellowshipped" and watch them scatter like roaches.

Mormons have killed?

Mercilessly murdering the shit out of people was once a staple of Mormon culture.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_Meadows_Massacre
>The emigrants were led out of their fortification. The adult men were separated from the women and children. The men were paired with a militia escort. When a signal was given, the militiamen turned and shot the male members of the Baker–Fancher party standing by their side. The women and children were then ambushed and killed by more militia that were hiding in nearby bushes and ravines. Members of the militia were sworn to secrecy. A plan was set to blame the massacre on the Native Americans. The militia did not kill some small children who were deemed too young to relate the story. These children were taken in by local Mormon families. Seventeen of the children were later reclaimed by the U.S. Army and returned to relatives in Arkansas

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_Meadows_Massacre
More than once. During the Wild West era, if you were a white settler you were more likely to be killed by a fanatical territorial Mormon than by an Indian.

Oh THOSE bits are fantastic, don't get me wrong!
It's the silent judgement, jingoism, strict parents, wallpapering, blatant lies about church history, and the constant, everpresent, crushing pressure to become a missionary that you gotta watch out for.

I'm
This guy, and while I agree with you that mormons are batshit, more than half the stuff you listed is false.

Fucking truth.

Don't forget that Mormons were also huge supporters of polygamy under one male until they were legally forced to stop creating harems. It probably still doesn't stop them from doing it.

>probably
how the hell do you think islam got followers in the first place?

>not wanting a harem

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*real* mormons haven't done that in a long time, and the church's official stance is "No, unless the time comes that it's necessary again (whatever that means)"
Though there are Fundamentalist Mormons that are basically just Amish With Guns, and they *DO* still practice polygamy

>They are the Scientologists of Christianity
No they're the Nation of Islam of Christianity

Joseph Smith sounds pretty based desu.

>implying a harem of women who are religiously obligated and fear-mongered into marrying you is a healthy practice

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why do mormons wear weird magic underwear?

#NotAllMormons

Is that supposed to be a bad thing? Sounds pretty cool desu.

But they really don't do that anymore. There's one very small sect that is basically an excommunicated incest-cult that does that still.
When Islam was founded, polygamy was pretty common everywhere. Including among Christians. Polygamy is not forbidden in Christianity in fact, however it is not allowed for church leaders.
I Timothy 3:2, KJV
>A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach
I Timothy 3:12, KJV
>Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

>is a healthy practice
All I know is there are multiple women I would marry if I could. Too bad shit isn't like mon musu.

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>he doesn't wear his magic clothing for super powers
I bet you fucking dance too, devil worshipper.

>When Islam was founded, polygamy was pretty common everywhere. Including among Christians. Polygamy is not forbidden in Christianity in fact, however it is not allowed for church leaders.
t. muhammad

You'd be driven out to the desert and left to rot, cuckboy. Harem leaders don't want any lil dicks trying to take their women.

Step 1
>convert to Islam
Step 2
>go to central asia. It should be pretty easy to get married, if not you can buy some women. In some nations bride kidnapping is even still a largely accepted practice
step 3
>repeat step 2

>either too stupid to understand context, or merely pretending
>"hurf durf I took this one sentence from the bible and it says badwrong think! Look how smart I am!"

Based retard I guess?

>cuckboy
Stop projecting your dog shit fetishes onto literally everyone and everything you worthless creature.

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unfortunately real harems aren't like your 2D cartoon ones, they involve a group of resentful and jealous selection of women taking care of kids they don't want to have

based, fuck women

I know.

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>wanting arab or central asian women
They're ugly and reek of curry mixed with musk

No, just someone who has actually read the Bible and knows something about history.
>implying murdering children is wrong
God endorses it quite frequently you know. Like, it's not just a one time thing. At all.

II Kings 2:23-24

>23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
>24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

1 Samuel 15
>Samuel also said unto Saul, The Lord sent me to anoint thee to be king over his people, over Israel: now therefore hearken thou unto the voice of the words of the Lord.
>2 Thus saith the Lord of hosts, I remember that which Amalek did to Israel, how he laid wait for him in the way, when he came up from Egypt.
>3 Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.
We can do this for hours. Attempting to impose modern humanistic, worldly morality upon God is a mistake.

>Is that supposed to be a bad thing? Sounds pretty cool desu.
It doesn't? Polygamy and polyandry is garbage you retarded cuck.

There's basically three distinct sects of Mormonism.

Listing from least to most weird:

>The Reformed Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
>Basically just hippies that read the Book of Mormon. No real restrictions on anything, LGBT friendly, women priests, they believe the scriptures are basically Rorschach tests for your soul; in that you'll take whatever meaning you might need as an individual, and that's okay. Just super easy going. The other two sects hate them.

>The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
> Your garden variety Mormons. The kind you're most likely to run into on the street. No drugs, booze, coffee, or sex before marriage. Generally good guys, but don't ask too many questions. More objective approach to scripture. They go HARD on the Missionary beat. Mostly republican.

>The Fundamentalist Church of CHoLDS
> EXTREMELY isolationist. They live in the mountains of Utah and Idaho, more or less alone. You have to go out of your way to meet them. Fun stuff: NO. Polygamy: VERY YES. The sect that's most likely to splinter off into *actual* cult status. Not good guys to be around.

>Attempting to impose modern humanistic, worldly morality upon God is a mistake.
So is pretending to be a prophet declaring a new revelation, and defending such vile schismatics

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>central asia
>curry
wrong part. We're talking steppe women. They should smell like oxen and keffir.
Someone's just upset the Chads are going to take all the women.

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That is a very cool picture with very terrifying implications.

Also, it should be noted, most Mormons are HUGE nerds. Star Trek was practically our second religion, when I was growing up

Lying is a mortal sin.

>it seems pretty comfy to feel superior to everybody else and feel validated for shoving that attitude in their faces
Gee, I can't imagine.

...Wait a minute, does that mean Playstation exclusivists are the Mormons of console gamers? And that PC exclusivists are the Mormons of gaming platforms?

A reminder that you can choose to go to Heaven.

1 Corinthians 2:9
>But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

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Clearly, Mormons are degenerate apostates and Joseph Smith is burning in hellfire. Just pointing out there is literally nothing wrong with murdering children nor with polygamy.

Revelation 22:18-19
>18 For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:

>19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.

Heaven doesn't exist dumbass.

At least they aren't as crazy as Steve Anderson.

It feels kinda relieving to realize that all the craziest people in America are all Protestant, which means that as a Catholic, I don't have to feel associated with them.

>Just pointing out there is literally nothing wrong with murdering children nor with polygamy.
>HELLO FELLOW CHRISTIANS

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>lies about church history

It's interesting that so many Mormons are into ancestry, because hanging around a library doing research is kind of dangerous to indoctrination. I met a Mormon kid once who had visited the library of congress to do ancestry research. He had a faraway look in his eyes, been spooked somethin' fierce.

Oh sure, there's nothing wrong with GOD doing those things. Or giving individuals specific and explicit permission.
You're missing out on the parts where the bible states clearly and irrevocably NOT to do those things. They're pretty famous passages.

Based Anderson is not crazy
Watch Marching to Zion

calling Mormons protestant is an insult to protestants, and I say this as a Catholic who firmly believes that Martin Luther is burning in hell for his dual unforgivable crimes of being German and autistic

Why would you take it as a mark of pride to be separated from the "crazies"? Jesus was a fundamentalist.

Mark 8:38
>Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

>be Joseph Smith
>uneducated, poor as dirt backwoods farmboy
>start the most successful American religion
>found the fastest-growing town in Illinois on top of a near inhabitable swamp
>second highest population next to Chicago
>become the leader of your own militia, permitted and recognized by the state
>europeans coming in by the ship load to be a part of it
>church so strong outsiders fear it as a separatist movement
>form an extrajudicial mob to kill you because they know nothing else can stop you
>accidentally turn you into a martyr, strengthening the church even more
Joseph Smith was a Chad.

Oh, I'm not really talking about Mormons. I'm mostly referring to just how much of Gamergate seems to be Protestant branch-raised, like Evangelical or Methodist or et cetera.

Revelation 3:9
>Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved thee.

Your day will come
Hmm, no, there's the commandment that famously is translated as "thou shalt not kill" but that quite clearly is not the case to anyone who knows even a bit of the original text. The proper translation would be "thou shalt not murder", as in kill unlawfully or without reason.

As for polygamy, if you're saying that's bad without God's explicit permission, I really don't know what to tell you besides you are, like many, imposing modern Western beliefs on a God and faith that do not share them.

Comparing somebody who takes the scripture of his religion very seriously to a brainwashed cultist who can literally observe with primary documented fact the dissolute and shameful concoction of a scam and somehow still follow it is a pretty disingenuous argument. The difference between Jesus Christ and Gene Roddenberry is pretty substantial. The difference between Joseph Smith and L. Ron Hubbard is academic.

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Jesus also technically wasn't Christian.

Yea Forums - fundamentalist Christian theology

Funny, I can't remember ever learning about all of God's multiple wives. I must have missed that in the Bible. Perhaps you're referring to the thousands of chaste nuns throughout history who consider themselves "married" to the Lord?
I sincerely hope you aren't using King Solomon - the guy whose degeneracy led to the destruction of Israel - as an argument for polygamy.

What do you expect? Like 90% of our userbase is Christian, and the other 10% (mostly ASEANS) just sticks to shitposting on /int/ or Yea Forums.

>Jesus also technically wasn't Christian.
Only if you want to play dumb semantic games, sure. By any understanding of what Christian actually means, obviously he was.

>publicly
So you believe the fairy tale because it was written in said fairy tale that these things happened in public? Interesting.

Sure, you could argue that the commandment is "murder" as opposed to "kill", but the bible is very, very specific on who is and is not qualified to make that judgement call.

>Imposing modern Western beliefs on a God and faith that do not share them.
Deuteronomy 17:17
And he shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away, nor shall he acquire for himself excessive silver and gold.

1 Corinthians 7:2
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

Also, the very first polygamist mentioned in the Bible, was Lamech, of the line of Cain.
The only times Polygamy were allowed were under very specific circumstances where resources were scarce, and needs had to be consolidated.

Exodus 21:10
If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, or her marital rights.

Egyptian gods were everpresently public, cranial worshipper of the tribute of Sobek.

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you're arguing with an edgy revisionist kike, don't bother

Do you believe Julius Caesar existed? Because Jesus Christ's miracles have more historical attestation than the military campaigns of Julius Caesar.

When he was baptized, what was he baptized as?

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that's a good question, like whether God can make an object so heavy even He cannot lift it

>Sobek
Spotted the leftist. Send in the Legion.

>Funny, I can't remember ever learning about all of God's multiple wives.
>casual can only think of ONE case of polygamy in the Bible
wow dude
Off the top of my head, Methuselah's son married two wives, as did Jacob. There are numerous other cases in the Bible. Much like Islam it was required that a man be able to care for all of his wives, so it would be required that a man be wealthy to have many wives.

Deuteronomy 17:14-17
>stripping away context
14 When thou art come unto the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee, and shalt possess it, and shalt dwell therein, and shalt say, I will set a king over me, like as all the nations that are about me;

15 Thou shalt in any wise set him king over thee, whom the Lord thy God shall choose: one from among thy brethren shalt thou set king over thee: thou mayest not set a stranger over thee, which is not thy brother.

16 But he shall not multiply horses to himself, nor cause the people to return to Egypt, to the end that he should multiply horses: forasmuch as the Lord hath said unto you, Ye shall henceforth return no more that way.

17 Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away: neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold.
Those are restrictions upon the King of Israel, so that he could not wield excessive power nor unjustly take too much from his people and nation.

1 Corinthians 7:2
>2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
This verse has nothing to do with polygamy, as clearly fornication-sex outside of marriage-is quite impossible for married people. It is rather a suggestion to get married to avoid temptation. I really don't know how you can even possible interpret this any other way, are you a moron or purposefully being misleading in desperation to be right?

as for Exodus 21:10, you REALLY should read the context here. This entire passage is about the laws of Hebrew slavery. And it quite explicitly says that a woman given as a maidservant and subsequently married by her master would have to be provided for, even if he took another wife. There is literally no other way to interpret this text, it states it quite plainly. It does not say that he may not marry another; it states he must provide for all his wives.
7 And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.

8 If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her.

9 And if he have betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters.

10 If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.

11 And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money.

lmao @ this jew trying to convince people that the bible is telling us degeneracy and abortion is good

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>Jesus Christ's miracles have more historical attestation than the military campaigns of Julius Caesar.
They do not.

Also, Julius had statues built of him while he was still alive. Literally nothing was built in the name of Jesus until several hundred years after his supposed death.

He gets a pass because he was a literal baptist.

>supposed death
>supposed
*tips*

>Context is important only when I say it is.

Alright, buddy.

>Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.
>Wife.
>Singular.

>marriage=degeneracy
You disgust me.
>abortion
No, killing children. Abortion is wrong, clearly.

I reiterate: PILPUL
Do not bother engaging in thoughtful discussion with a Jew, you will encounter nothing but a weasel

No, context is always important.
>you shall not covet his manservant
So if he has two, you're allowed to covet the second one? Or is he not allowed two?

Again, you are arguing nonsense. The final verse you quoted previously very literally said, a man can buy a slave, marry her, take another wife in addition so long as he continues to provide for her and does not decrease his care of her. It is so plainly stated.
>If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.
Answer me. How can you post this, and see it as a forbidding of polygamy? It literally outlines the rules of polygamy-that you cannot cease to care for one wife after taking another. How is that a concern if you may only marry one woman? How? Answer me.

Sure, Yea Forums is 90% Christians and not a single atheist.
>This is how much fedora meme warped Christians thoughts

I really hope you don't mean the denomination user.

I don't think that many people here are Christian. A lot of them swear

It's just that Atheists don't have any interesting topics to argue about.
>I don't believe in god
>I believe in god even less
that's about it.

>MORMIES REEEEEEEEEEE
I find it funny that you Christians call JS a conman, when so many other prominent figures in the church were also 'criminals' at their time.
Jesus Christ was literally marked as a criminal too by the Roman Empire along with all the Apostles.
Wasn't Christianity outlawed in the empire until Constantine rolled around, and by then the empire was in it's death throes.

>He hasn't installed Saint Erasemus' Wall of Jerheckio-filtering to ensure any discussion remains utterly devout and respectful of the lord our god.

What a festering catamite.

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You are the only "Jew" here, triggered by direct quotes from the Word of God.

Jesus wasn't documented to steal from old women though. Stop defending a literal cult leader

He probably found out that one of his ancestors was Jewish lmao.

Let's not get on religious icons and amoralism/criminal behaviour user. It's not a strong position for anyone. Of any faith. Or lack thereof. In fact I think we should probably just shoot anyone with a strong opinion lots of people like, who's with me?

Don’t forget about how god apparently turned the children of Cain into black people.

>Abrahamic faith
>Might be slightly possible someone in your past family tree may have potentially been a bit jewish
I really wonder if some people never make that connection.

Wait he did that with Cain's descendents? You've got the Curse of Canaan/Ham, where noah semi-accidentally (via his other son) melanin-enriches Ham via aforementioned curse.

Fun fact: One (debated) reason Ham got cursed is that he castrated Noah. Another one is he fucked him. Father bathtime invasion wasn't remotely original apparently.

dum dum dum
dum dum dum dum dum

Mormons are the biggest cucks around
>the elderly community leaders and wealthy gets to pick the cream of the crop girls
>the typical guy gets fat ugly old women and widows and get no say in if he wants to marry her
Even if you were in love with a girl, too bad, the old fat and balding guy decides he want to pork her so deal with it.

>Yea Forums talks about games
>nothing but insult throwing
>Yea Forums discusses religion and christianity
>chill and civil
keep going lads.

Enjoy getting raped by Satan for all of eternity sinner

A lot of Mormon churches demand you give the Elders your IRS tax documents to make sure you paid tithes on your gross income, not on your net earnings.

HH so fucking boring. Burned man was the only semi intresting part

It always seems to be the case that whatever board you’re on is better at discussing any topic other than the one it was made for

All I know about joseph smith is that he told his wife to shut the fuck up once and it became mormon doctrine

This

I remember playing this dlc as a rifleman Caesars Legion type character and basically reacted with w0t to everything everyone said. Needless to say they all died.

>Used to go to lutheran church
>Change in ownership so to speak
>They call a meeting and demand that all the men start turning in their tax return records and proof of income
bailed and never looked back

They stole my great-great-grandparent's corn because they wouldn't give it to them for free.

uwu

Fascinating. So your greed is more important than faith. Looks like you never really were a christian.

You do know why the fedora meme even started, right? It's because of atheistic self fellatio from places like r/atgeism. It's like every bad stereotype about atheists wants to be a fact.

Is it possible for me to be forgiven for my homosexuality? I drank the koolaid in college and now hit my mid 20s feeling empty and wanting a family of my own. Also, how do gay friendly churches reconcile their beliefs with the scriptures? I though the bible was pretty clear with the no fags allowed policy.

The fedora meme started because it was true during a strange fad nearly ten years ago, and kept going because it was a great way to shut down and avoid debating atheists.

There is no good argument for God existing, btw

>there is no good argument for God existing btw
Based on what? Your opinion?

Fun fact: America during the Wild West had a murder rate about 7 times higher than today at 35 per 100,000, with most of the murders being concentrated out west the murder rates would go over 100 per 100,000 in the territories.

>Also, how do gay friendly churches reconcile their beliefs with the scriptures?

They usually dance around it, and are often quite liberal theologically.

>I though the bible was pretty clear with the no fags allowed policy.

It is. But there's also wiggle room. The Bible is also against a lot of random shit too that no one follows.

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Based on years of scholarly debate, cobstructing and deconstructing arguments for the existence of God. You should read a book sometime.

>Attempting to impose modern humanistic, worldly morality upon God is a mistake.

t. Wesker,

>Is it possible for me to be forgiven for my homosexuality?
All sins can be forgiven. The Bible says that whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved (Romans 10:13).

Romans 3:10, 23
>As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one
>For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God

Romans 5:8
>But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 1:16
>For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth

The one and only requirement to get into Heaven is to believe in your heart that Jesus died for your sins, and that he's the one and only thing you're trusting in to get you into Heaven (i.e. not trusting in baptism, eating crackers, joining a church, "turning over a new leaf" etc.) If you believe in him the Bible says you are saved from ever going to hell and no matter what sins you commit, they are covered by the blood of Jesus Christ.

Hebrews 8:12
>For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.

John 11:25-26
>Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:
>And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?

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>Also, how do gay friendly churches reconcile their beliefs with the scriptures?
By ignoring scripture. It's pretty easy, most Christians never read the Bible and are thus completely ignorant to its contents. When they are confronted with something that does not mesh with their unsupported beliefs, they cry out "you're taking that out of context!" as if there could be mitigating context to the statement "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." and "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

The other argument they will make is that it is part of the Old Law, supposedly abolished by Christ's sacrifice on the Cross. So they don't have to follow it, just as they do not have to worry about eating pork or shellfish. That's not really Biblically supported either, but that'd be a more drawn out debate.

Simply put, they ignore it, lie, or say "well everyone sins so it's ok!" or something along those lines.

I like how you fags literally need to take non consecutive parts to structure whatever excuse you need. Really shows how inconsistent the entire shit is.

God loves you user and wants you to go to Heaven.

youtube.com/watch?v=-fGxOCJCRpA

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If he wants me to go to heaven why is he gonna send me to hell?

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How come he only decided that now and not for all of the other people who lived and died before religion became so conveniently deranged?

every time i see them come by the door and knock i purposefully walk past it without answering so they see me through the mirror to piss them off

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and by mirror i mean window
excuse the retardation

Don't you fucking retard. If you need some chores done ask them to do it. They will almost always do it for you. I got away with barely ever washing my dishes because they would do it for me.

>Martin Luther is burning in hell for his dual unforgivable crimes of being German and autistic
That's double jeopardy and you know it.

Going to hell is a choice. God's free gift of eternal life is offered to everyone, most people simply reject the gift and when they die they have to stand in judgement and pay the price for their sins themselves.

If I offer to pay your electric bill, and you reject the payment I offered on your behalf, it's not my fault that you have to pay the price of your electricity. It's the same thing with God, the payment has already been offered, it's on you if you choose to reject the gift.

Salvation in the bible is compared to drinking water or resting. It's the easiest thing there is, and yet people reject it because of the hardness of their heart.

John 3:19
>And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

Tell them you're a sex offender. If there is a woman in your house tell her to answer the door and say she lives there alone, they can't be in a house alone with a woman.

>Conservatism bad

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>Live in Utah
>Kinda want to join the church and become a missionary for the guaranteed wife and kids because I fucking suck at finding women
>Don't want to have to give up smoking, drinking, and watching fucked up movies

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Okay so how about the people who live their whole lives never learning of Jesus? Free ticket to heaven? If that's the case isn't the best thing you can do is never tell anyone?

I would worry about your own personal salvation first instead of hypothesizing about the theology of theoretical Jungle Man who you've never met or will meet.

>guaranteed
There is a reason "Dear John," is a HILARIOUS in joke with Mormons.
>giving up any of those things
Mormons aren't even supposed to drink soda, they gave up on that shit a few years back. Those are just "suggestions" now.

>dude, don't ask me that
Haha

>cobstructing
Yeah dude you've convinced me.

Based expanseposter

It was just a little meme.

I too believe spelling errors completely destroy arguments. Fuck that guy, and fuck books.

You've actually made me laugh, user. Thank you for this real advice.

Dear John is more of a military thing to my knowledge. I just speak because I've known multiple fat balding 30 something year old mormons who have cute houswives who from my knowledge knowing them for years have never been unfaithful or anything. I'm a normal looking dude who apparently to most of those faggots at /soc/ is a 7/10 but can't get anything other than just throwaway pussy.

Mormons regularly joke that any girl you had before you go on a mission will be gone by the time you're done. Mormons are also taught that they need a spouse sealed with them in the temple to attain the highest level of heaven, so yeah there is a degree of women and men being compelled to marry.

>Mormons
>Baptists
>Evangelicals
all of these shit tier denominations exist because of dumbass Protestantism

Western Christianity is a joke

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t. kidfucker
If you aren't Orthodox Christian you don't get to talk shit about other denominations.

I'm Orthodox tho

>there are Christians in this thread who follow a Denomination.
Non-DenominationCHAD here. Why can't you all just a read a book and not be bogged down by extraneous rules created by people who aren't God?

user, I can barely get one woman to tolerate me, let alone seven.

based

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So bitter springs was based on a true story?

t. Prottie heretic

>religion thread
lads i converted to atheism a while back but they never sent me my complimentary fedora and reddit gold, did i get scammed?

>Non-Denomination is now a Protestant
Makessense.jpg.

It's not complimentary anymore. Big business paid off Jesus to convince him to let them develop the Fedoras and then they'll split some profit with the Prophet

considering that Protties made up the whole shit about not relying to the Church's rules in the first place, and then from them 1000+ denominations sprang up then it makes sense

YES DADDY IDOL SHEAMUS McSPAGHETTIFAMINE PLEASE FUCK ME WITH YOUR IDOLATROUS COCK

>1000s of Denominations pop up
>you involve yourself with none of them
>by default you become Protestant.

>t. Prottie heretic

Do Orthodox/Catholics on here ever type like they're not Warhammer 40k LARPers? I always get the feeling that you people aren't even sincerely Christian other than as "cultural" ones.

It's like I'm really on /int/!

I've never met a single person who liked WH40k who didn't look like a quintessentially anglo monstrosity or a methed out slav so you might be onto something here.

>game takes religion seriously

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>There is no good argument for God existing, btw

define God, you retard, now have fun with that rabbit hole. if reality isn't the result of a metaphysial force to bring it into existing, I don't know what is because there was never any conceivable argument that was about a world made without a God entirely that ever took off.
so go ahead, put your fedora on a dish, salt and eat it.

>he says as Protestants and its offspring do this shit
youtube.com/watch?v=xdUIqKJyD0Q

AYOOOO THANK YOU PASTOR IMMA DEPOSIT 100 BUCKS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT FOR BLESSING ME UNTIL NEXT SUNDAY I COME TO CHURCH

The deity that many religious organizations worship? Yes, "God" could be a nonsapient metaphysical force. It could also be a computer simulation. It could also be a deity who does not at all match the descriptions most religions ascribe to it. That's the point. There is no good argument for saying "that's it, that's what god is."

Again, more bizarre "sports teams" nonsense like you envision yourself as a space marine or crusader fighting an e-battle against the "prot heretics". You've already sworn repeatedly. Do you talk that way in church too, or do you put on a show when other people can view how you behave?

>Anno Domini 2019
>still believing in god
If there are ayy lmaos out there i’m not surprised they’re treating us like zoo animals

Imagine taking shitposting on Yea Forums seriously lmao.

p.s. you're a heretic prottie

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How dare you speak to me kidfucker. I'm not a protestant or an idol worshiping rome larper.