Dad walks in

>jannie deletes Bernie thread
>this shitty eldegard thread will stay up
fuck this semen slurping site.

Attached: bernie is a cute girl.jpg (462x458, 45K)

why the cum is brown

So this is what I'm missing out on? I gotta buy a switch, those textures and animations are the best I've ever seen

Goddamn this game looks like shit

things tend to get brown when anal is involved

>tfw my dad never gave a flying fuck about anything i did
It's a wonder I didn't turn into a criminal. MMO addiction probably saved me from that path.

I know but is TOO brown...

“Hey son, I see you’ve dusted off the good old PS2”

>grandfather walks in

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>mom walks in

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>flatmate walks in

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>fem MC
tranny spotted

nice shadows

So on that note... I know there are a couple trumpers on this board, could you do us all a favor and tell your family who are also that way that despite what he says, video games aren't the cause of violence?
Appreciate it

this an off-brand, doc?

How the fuck does it look so bad? It unironically looks like a ps2 game

Fire Emblem always had bad graphics.

On top of that, this game was made by the B team since the A team is asigned to FEH.

what game?

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>Fire Emblem always had bad graphics.
Fire emblem was one of if not these best looking games on the GBA.

>playing 3H
>sister walks in
>Hubert's stat page on screen
>"that guy looks daddy as fuck"
>sister leaves

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>its the least smelly turd

When trying 3D I mean.

Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn look like shit even for it´s time.

Awakening and Fates look bad too considering other stuff the 3DS can handle.

Path of Radiance had the excuse of reusing N64 assets though

>Brother playing SotC for the first time
>He doesn't know
>Agro dies
>"What did you do, why did you kill him?"
>His fucking face
>"I DIDNT KNOW"
>I knew

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Did you are or your sister say that
If sis she has good taste

She said that but 99% of the time she does not have good taste this was an exception.

You're either underage or fucking your sister and it better be the latter

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>teacher swooces through a videocall

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RAPE DAY
visual novel with 0 game play, just press next.

>school shooting happened hundreds of km from where we live earlier that day
>dad walks in on me playing TF2
>"you know that's really insensitive of you"
Why are boomers retarded?

Runs in the family

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Fairly sure all boomers aren't related

>be 10 year old me
>9/11 happens
>I'm watching Die Hard later that night
>"That's pretty insensitive of you"
bitch I don't give two shits about some towers go boom

>be however old i was when GUN came out
>just googled it i was 11
>playing GUN on the living room tv
>dad walks in right when the bad guy slices jenny's throat with a razor
>"what the fuck, he killed jenny!"
love you dad

>mom walks in when I'm having lunch watching koreans play Starcraft 2
>"are those your internet friends?"

Yeah right mom, the best SC2 players in the world who happen to be half a planet away from me are going to be my "internet friends". Jeez what a bitch, I wish I could get out of here, but buying property at 28 is hard as fuck right now.

>Playing game as a kid/teen
>Girl sporting some minimal cleavage on screen
>Mom walks in
>UM, user, WHAT IS THIS!?!?!?

Gee mom it's fucking hardcore hentai porn as you can see, jesus

thanks doc

>Mom it was a virus oh my god mom!
>My pants just slipped down a little

>Military academy
>Teaches students to ballroom dance

Kek, alright.

>She walks in
>Startles me
>Shoot cum at her face in fear

That was a warning shot, mom

It's for a ball that only happens like once a year

Also whoever you have take that dance lesson gets +5 permanent charisma

This almost literally happened
>playing RE2 at a friends house
>dad walks in
>KIDS WHY YOU PLAYIN THEM GODDAMN VIOLENT VIDYA GAEMS
>"Come on, it's not that violent. It's just zombies and it's no more violent than say any bond movie."
>he seems somewhat convinced, we're just running around the police station after all
>at that very moment, the ONE SCENE in the game where a zombie approaches you with his guts hanging out happens
>".. yeah you kids gtfoutside."

Dancing is legit a useful thing in battle in the Fire Emblem universe.

what does charisma even do?

Makes people want to sleep with you. I should know because I have zero charisma

>any time a black athlete has an opinion

You say that like athletes opinions mean shit. athletes are dumb cunts

you try getting a steady diet in hell

shrek you fucking idiot the sword is backwards

and you're a regular mensa scholar, huh?

Compared to literally any profesional athlete yes I am, go ahead show an example of a smart and enlightened athlete this will be fun

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>Grandpa comes to visit
>He is a pearl harbor survivor, fought all the way through the Pacific Theater
>1 gorillion years later, he is still walk, talking, joking
>Walks in on me playing C&C3, japanese campaign
>Its that mission
>He literally could not stop laughing at the cut scene, the mission, the whole game
>End up playing it with him
>He died a few years later

Boomers, and Gen X have no fucking sense of humor.

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>playing some online FPS years ago
>dad comes in
>"give me a go"
>pops on my headset and just runs around the map getting killed and saying "shut the fuck up" whenever someone else talks in game

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sure, because you're on Yea Forums to expand your mind and not just screech like an autist.

have sex nerd

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Not an argument
>Complains Yea Forums users aren't expanding their minds
>Defends literal neanderthal sportball players
lmao

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Based

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I dunno, there's tons of comedies from 80's and 90's and even 2000's I loved. But now stuff like Chris Rock and stuff isn't allowed unless its just nigs nigging to themselves.

>Chris Rock
Even Dave Chapelle cucked to the muh drumpf shit
Comedy is dead and every other media is to follow

>saying sportball in any context other than making fun of people who say sportball
did you get lost on your way to reddit?

sounds more fun and better than you

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>one of them is literally my uncle

Attached: Wake.jpg (852x960, 490K)

projecting a lot there

This was brought up in FF8. It's a politically useful skill in (classic) high society.

>Have no argumnets
>How dare you insult my sportsball and sportballers
I have been here longer than you faggot, what are the cool kids calling it now, handball, handegg, footy booty ball?
It's all garbage faux tribalism for literal fools, not idiots, fools.

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>assuming i was the same guy
I don't into sports either but at least I'm not a walking cringe factory about it

>unironically likes sportsball
DUDE THAT GUYS A BEAST!!!

>how dare you say sportsball in a derasgotory manner
>im not even that guy but i am upset
Like I said, faux tribalism, you are a fool as is he

>Dad walks in
>"Holy shit son user, is that best girl!?"
>I'm butt naked jerking off to his waifu now entirely embarrassed and covering myself up.
>Out of fury my dad bends me over to proceeds to sodomize me while he groans out her name. Pulling my hair and spitting on my back.
Man fuck this dumb ass game.

Your dad sounds Based and redpilled but gay too.

>mom walks in on a Petra conversation
>"is she retarded?"

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>Walk into distant cousin's room while visiting them
>He's playing Yume Nikki
Never been so proud

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>son, i'm going to have to beat you now. I don't tolerate retards who think making Edelgard your one and only dancer is a good idea.

>playing The Getaway back in the day
>one of the first cutscenes set in a pole dancing club where a woman has her tiddies in full view and she's swinging around a pole and shit
>dad walks in
>just says "Skip it."
>you can't
>stands in my room until the cutscene ends
>could feel his gaze on the back of my head the entire time

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>grandfather walked in on me playing medieval 2 during a visit
>said it looked interesting

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youtu.be/qLgUV2xlhyQ

>playing Red Dead Redemption
>dad walks in
>says something about how the graphics look impressive and i agree
>"shoot that chicken son"
>i do
>he goes "haha" and leaves

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> dad never walked in

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I hope your dad calls you a piece of shit for making your lord your dancer.

Affects gambit strength and stuff

>Dad: "You're always playing zombie killing games"
>don't even like zombie games much but he thinks it's a problem
>playing RE4
>dad walks in
>"You're always playing zombie killing games"
>playing L4D
>dad walks in
>"You're always playing zombie killing games"
>playing Killing Floor
>dad walks in
>"You're always playing zombie killing games"
>playing New Vegas (with a fucking feral ghoul on screen)
>dad walks in
>"You're always playing zombie killing games"
>playing Kirby Return to Dream Land
>dad walks in
>"faggot"

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>dad walks in

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>Playing Heroes of Newerth back in the day
>I buy takeout for me and my parents on friday
>In the middle of a game with my bros and my mom complains that she's fucking starving
>"Alright look I'll go get dinner just play the game while I'm gone"
>She's stunned, freaks out, but grabs the headset and keyboard
>Teach her the basics, "Just hit the Q button while hovering the cursor over the enemy"
>Leave

>Come back with dinner
>Check in on her
>She's frantically tapping away on the keyboard, sweating, looking frantic as fuck
>Gives me a look of heavy relief as I take back the headset and keyboard
>"Alright hey guys I'm back"
>...
>"What? You're back? What do you mean?"

>MFW I forgot to tell them I was leaving and my mom was playing

>Tell them that my mom was playing for the past 20 minutes
>They freak the fuck out
>Turns out they had been shouting at her the entire time she was playing because she of course sucked
>"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING user, DID YOU TURN RETARDED?" I find out was shouted often among other things
>They all start crying and beg me to tell my mom that they're sorry

>She just laughs it off

Good times. Even won that game when I got back, despite being so far behind.

fake and gay

lol

>dad Deus Ex: Human Revolution may be M rated but it's an RPG that you can finish without killing anyone!
>dad walks in during the tutorial section
>"is that a red dot scope son"

>Edelgard won't have kids with you
>but lets herself get impregnated by other men
Defend this

>having hair long enough to pull

If I don’t see this posted every day like that asshole who did it for Xenoblade Chronicles 2 I’m gonna rage

chickn is friend not fod

>>I knew
Delightfully devilish, user.

[RULES OF NATURE INTENSIFIES]

>that pic
>that "argument"
That's really cute what you're trying to do, but pretty pathetic at the same time.

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>Dad walks in on me playing fighting game w/ a friend
>"Who's playing the girl?"
>"Me"
>"Oh.."
>Dad walks out blankly

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>watching my dad play re2
>"Will you take the green herb?"
>mom walks by and says
>"YOU BETTER NOT TAKE THAT"
>"I DONT EVER WANT TO SEE WEED IN THIS HOUSE
>dad says whatevers and leaves
>shows me his item box is completely full of green herbs

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>playing violent video games
>Dad: "I don't like you killing people."
>playing Cuphead
>Dad: "Are't you a little old for kid stuff?"
>also he fucking loves capeshit movies

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DUDE

WEED

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Ryan Fitzpatrick is pretty smart and athletic.

>playing persona 3
>have bikini armor on yuka
>mom walks in on her attacking
>user WHY ARE YOU PLAYING THIS PERVERTED GAME

You mean collective conciousness.

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So I bought theee houses before linking my heroes account. Will I still get Byleth?

>visual novel
the whole point of video games is full user control, god damnit

That doesn't mean athletes shouldn't be allowed to have opinions you literal retard

>tfw you exclusively play autism simulators
>tfw most people dont have the balls to even attempt to comment on whats going on

Except track kids, bunch of overachieving nerds running for way too long

>Mom and Dad walks in

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What is Dimitri's alternate hairstyle in NG+ from? Is that what he looks like in a different route or something?

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NIGGER

Attached: Boomer KILLS Zoomer.webm (480x270, 1.67M)

Christ those capes are so god damn rigid.

>friend's dad walks in
>who's playing Sonya?
>friends says it's him
>you're fucking shit

He never said they shouldn't, autismo. But why should we value the opinion of overpaid asshats? Next you'll say celebrities should be taken seriously in maters of politics.

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Girls can't impregnate girls.

He doesn't lose an eye in the BE route for some reason. I'm still not sure why he loses it in the first place.

>franchise big enough to stand togheter with zelda and mario according to nintendo
>bag of dorito budget, mostly spent on 24fps CGI
>mat_fullbright 1 always on
>koei tecmo

the game is a ton of fun but JESUS christ is it hard to make people look past the god awful graphics, it's an upscaled vita game

is there a SINGLE moment in this entire series that isnt fucking embarrassing?

When you post something against Israel

>Even Dave Chapelle cucked to the muh drumpf shit
By making one joke about him. His new specials have like one joke about him and that's it.

man I miss that fucking saltmine, HoN was glorious

>FEH
?

>son, why did you pick this gay bitch instead of the based deer gayboy archer?
>you're a fucking failure

The mobile game.

>mobile
>A team
lol

gacha

Mobile is always D team, user.

Is this FFXIV on low graphics settings?

no, and that's the problem
it's dogshit but profitable so Japan are funneling all their talent out of actual vidya

My family generally care how violent or sexual the games I played were but they hated swearing
I never got to finish vietcong

*generely didnt care

no

youtu.be/d-ae06Z1NcM

Im living at home over the summer and this is my greatest fucking fear, playing this game with my mom kicking my door open every ten minutes is a fucking minefield.

What's wrong with playing Fire Emblem?

>boomer parents seeing me playing some gay tea-party game with uguu anime girls
Don't get me wrong i like it, but they already regularly ask why i don't have a girlfriend.

>being afraid of being judged over a fucking phone game
>as a man
no wonder you have no gf

This game is fucking hideous. It's not even a hardware thing, the art direction is atrocious.

Are you fucking kidding? Literally all the embarrassing shit is optional. Fuck, the game is borderline optional. They have automated options for everything, including the battles.

>You paid how much for this system?

Socrates thinks you're a fag.

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Edelgard is the most beautiful character in gaming this year and I do not even like her. I literally do not understand what you are talking about.

Well, yeah dudes get judged way harder for their interests.
I like the embarrassing shit though, gotta get those support points so i can marry annette.

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My mom watched me play though most of RE7 and she only commented on how she didn't like the swearing even though Ethan got his hand cut off and however much other gore that happens

close the door, reeee

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>You now remember Shadow Dragon's 3d

>Not making your military elite act like the nobles they're supposed to be
Fucking pleb

CUM IN MY ASS PLEASE

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Oh hey, here's the american

based

What is it that you think I’m trying to do?

FEH made more money in a year than the rest of the franchise did in it´s existance.

youtube.com/watch?v=nq7ZOptHCBg

At least he didn't walked in while you were having a tea with Lorenz

Don't military academy students attend balls and cotillions as a way to learn manners? or is that something from 200 years ago

You sound like a loser.

>playing heavily modded skyrim
>had sexlab installed with devious needs or shit
>female cousins come over
>go out to great em and shit
>got asked to bring some shit in
>they go in to my room to hangout like they usually do
>forgot to pause the game
>my char then proceeds to beatoff in the middle of the woods
>I get done with my shit and enter the room
>see both of them looking at me giggling and shit
>immediately see the problem
>quickly run over and qqq
>we hangout for the rest of the afternoon with them sitting on my bend behind me laughing and giggling for the entire time

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There is nothing wrong with what's in that webm that's worth of derision or outrage. People just want to be upset.

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>be kid
>"so son what have you been up to?"
>"Well I found this new game I really like"
>"We don't give a shit about video games"
It really crushed me as a child.

>Playing OoT when it first came out
>Grandpa comes to visit
>Keeps asking me why there's a Rabbit chasing me whenever Navi's out
>Try to explain it's a fairy but he keeps calling her a rabbit because he can tell it frustrates me as a moody 12 year old.

Retrospectively, it's humorous, but he really knew how to get under my skin as a kid. It probably helped me be less sensitive to teasing though.

>Porn mods
You got what you deserve, you fuggin weirdo.

skyrim is just a porn game disguised as a AAA title.

Attached: skyrim3.webm (640x1138, 1.92M)

This was the gayest post I’ve seen in awhile

have sexual intercourse with your cousins

Is skyrim worth playing just as a porn game?

I love Danearys Targaryen.

what kinda faggot dad would care about violence in video games
feel bad for nonamerican s*yb*y "fathers" out there lmao

it's practically the best porn game ever made with fetish mods for anyone. if you're not playing skyrim exclusively as a porn game by this point you're doing it wrong.

Attached: skyrim loli.jpg (1920x1080, 386K)

this mod isn't available online anymore is it

Yet oblivion still have so much more than skyrim will ever have

there are a few places that still have them but ATF got killed so a lot of stuff was lost.

Attached: skyrim valerica.jpg (1920x1080, 226K)

>Yet oblivion still have so much more than skyrim will ever have
like what?

>"______ humor"

post mod list if it's so great

>best porn game ever made
I fell for that meme and installed all sorts of mods only to see that it's all extremely bare bones and is only ever good for making screenshots. No gameplay at all, just a bunch of assets and a bunch of animations. Garbage.

>No gameplay at all,
>just a bunch of assets and a bunch of animations.
that's 99% of all porn games released though

I like to rape every enemy I find. That's enough gameplay for me.

Not really. Most porn games actually have porn related gameplay.

name 10 games that arent visual novels that are actually open world games with actual gameplay in it. illusion games like sexy beach or honey select barely count and the closest ones are old as fuck

What's the mod then

>ATF got killed
nigger it's up

just get sexlab and start from there

>dad walks in

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>open world games
That's a really weird goalpost, nothing to do with what I said. Pretty much every porn game has porn related gameplay, but no, they're not open world. Don't really see what that contributes to porn. Do I really need to list the porn games where you have full control during sex scenes and can go through various poses/stages, that have meters and stats related to sex scenes and shit? Surely you agree there's a lot of those games.

I did and it's all shit that doesn't work. I guess you're just another guy who saw nice looking screenshots and fell for the meme without trying it yourself.

>I did and it's all shit that doesn't work
lets see your modlist faggot

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ok no open world then
name 10 actually FULL finished games within the last 10 years with mod support that aren't fucking visual novels,renpy garbage, or shitty kickstarter trainer games that aren't anywhere near done. the only ones with any semblance of quality are illusion games

oh addin the sims games and tk17 I guess

>officer's school
>contain the highest ranking children of the whole continent, rulers, princes, princesses
>they learn a useful social skill for their standing
out of all the bullshit of the game, you decided to nitpick the only one that make sense

Everyone in greek society was built because they were forced to row boats for the navy.

Socrates wasn't a poor fuck though he was middle class and hence served as a hoplite

youtu.be/3kVFce1M_QQ

You are a failure as a man

>on your bed giggling while porn is playing on your screen
They want to fuck

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Yeah he should have fucked them right there

>Dad walks in

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Do they have no shadows?

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DICK NOSE

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>dad walks in

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Lesbian Edelgard is so much better

Enemy spotted!
Secure the perimeter!

>not correcting him "actually, dad, they are Zeds not zombies"
you deserved it

Don't they teach American soldiers how to properly respect their jewish elite masters?

>dad walks out for a pack of ciggies
>never comes back

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Considering how flat she is, it really is Bernie or Bust we need to decide between.

Nigger problems

>tfw played violent vidya at young age
>Grandmother gets worried, doesn't want me playing gta and the like
>Parents agree
>Shortly after buy me San Andreas
>Tells me not to say shit to Grandmother
Thanks mom.

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Wrong I'm spic

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based sister

A good dancer is a good fighter.

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This
user, you better have had sexual intercourse with your female cousins.

I'm not a dancer and I'd whoop this wanker's ass instantly. Good luck dancing with your fractured legs.

>dad walks in
>starts undressing me and sticks his cock in my ass without applying lube first, like what we usually do
>lie there in tears for 20 minutes until he finishes
>clean the cum up with tissues

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>mom used to be really into following ratings but slacks off on it when im around 15
>playing killer7 while she's in the other room doing laundry
>cutscene where the prostitute is riding harmans dick and moaning
>'HEY WHAT'S SHE DOING IN THERE'
>'having sex'
>(long pause) she shouldn't be doing that!
still cracks me up to think about.

filename suggests guild wars

>Despite what he says
You don’t know many retar... trump supporters do you?

>not getting introduced to gaming through your father who plays violent games
sad
played mortal kombat at age 4, turned out mostly fine expect for being a homo

>"Your mom was quite the dancer, ya know?"
>proceeds to cry

>turned out mostly fine expect for being a homo
So you didn't turn out fine then. Did he touch you or something while playing?

>dad walks in
>"hope you've killed lots of those martian things, user"
>"I sure did, dad"
>"good, good"
>dad walks out

>be around 7 when the first God of War came out
>be greek, love greek mythology and shit
>visit my local vidya store
>see 18+ rating
>dad proceeds to buy it for me
Sucks being you faggots

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>Dad walks in

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My sides

>dad walks in
>I'm playing assassin's creed running around rooftops like a retard
to this day he keeps making fun of me

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Didi Gregorius of the New York Yankees.

>Dad walks in

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>his soldiers aren't the pinnacle of human civilization