Paid loot gives advantage over non-paying players

The water filter tube if you live in country side.

Handgun if live in city.

Why would anyone pick the laptop? You can download the entirety of Wikipedia on a usb anyway. It's all you would need.

Glasses or Internet. Having an infinite source of information on survival as well as some entertainment would be the most ideal thing. You can have a gun that kills anything but if you don't know how to skin a deer or sew your clothes you're gonna be fucked.

Go away commiefag

Righto. Even if they decay weight. If each zombo was only 50lbs. Imagine trying to push off a horde. It's like a football pileup except you get trampled and crushed by the collective weight of meryl streep's rotting pussy.

glasses or mask

Glasses or mask are the only correct answers. I could maybe see backpack or water filter depending where you live, but glasses are just OP.

>must pick tier
laptop

>top tier
dog, detector, mask, backpack

>mid tier
glasses bow, gun, key, filter

>low tier
grapple

>suicide tier
lightsaber

the mask seems useless
people can see pretty well

allthough the bow could be really good too since you get infinite arrows with no cooldown

assuming the zombies retain the eyesight of a human it means you can just swap to a nocturnal playstyle and be virtually undetectable. It's one of the safest choices but not the prohibitive best.

glasses > mask > tablet >>> everything else

unless you are a good marksman with a bow or have already established practicewith it it will give minimal advantages at the start

If I'm reading the effect right, it would apply to cars you drive too. So shoot and move in total silence, could be pretty OP in urban settings.

The glasses are pretty bullshit pls nerf, still the water filter and the backpack also sounds great.

glasses are a mid tier trap. they give you no evasive advantages to survive and only enhance information in you LOS. the advantages it gives you with other humans are attenuated by the fact that getting to other humans is the challenge, and once you find a group of friendlies, the glasses give very little group advantage.

If you want to live you'd pick the KEY.

>doors are unbreakable

t's also great for hunting, which is something you WILL have to do eventually that I forgot to mention

Glasses. Minimap + object info HUD + FRAPs.

this. key is low tier. it's effects are too narrow and don't help you survive when you are detected nor help you get to a door worth opening. It just opens it. Could be nothing behind it. Or a pack of zombos.

Also, if you are smart you will try to flee into the wilderness as fast as possible so you leave the concentrated zombie areas. Key is pretty useless there.

I'd pick the zombie detector.
The glasses seem great but the heat vision probably wouldn't work well at long distances and I'd rather have more security. I don't think I would have any issue with not getting along with other people or with coming across any traps

Lightsaber, backpack, or if you're trained bow.
Grapple gun sounds fun as fuck and you could use it to cheese a lot of situations like jumping off a mountain and just gliding to the next town over, but backpack with everything you need supply wise outdoes it, as you could get a paraglider and just store it in your backpack until needed.
Actually, the backpack could pretty much do everything the others do with some careful planning.

i'd never pick it but lightsaber is pretty insane

>key is useful innawoods

>get backpack
>go inside backpack
>Wait until apocalypse is over

the backpack space is limited, it just makes it weightless

just take any crowbar and you can open anything

The water purifier
I can cook zombinis for food and the rest is fucking useless

Yeah, backpack is mostly for food/water/medicine storage, food especially.

Oh I misread it. I thought it was like a bag of holding. Still not terrible

Are you implying that you're a food item?

water filter

then find a boat and live on the ocean forever

Metal armer is a extreme example but something like a leather jacket and pants can work equaly as well for adidtional agility.

Even if you could cook the zombie virus away you'd first need to find a way to kill the zombies before you can eat them
What about food?

you can make a filter with grass and sand and gravel
starve to death

not at all, even if you do manage to get an alright group going, what if you come across another faction? they might trade shit with you at best, but they could also double cross you and steal your shit. survival is about efficiency and staying low key, it's fucking life or death dude, nobody's gonna want any dead weight or extra mouths to feed just for the fuck of it. have you ever played a single zombie game or watched any zombie movie in your life? other people are always more dangerous than the zombies.

by the way can my pee pee fit in the tube?

go fishing?

you're in the fucking ocean

you are dead within 2 months maximum.

you have no food, no protection from the environment, probably no navigation skills and no seamen skills or even fishing skills much less the tools and knowledge to find fish in the middle of the fucking ocean.

Most importantly you have virtually no chance of finding other people which is the only long term stable solution necessarily.

you'll either starve or drown.

backpack + mask is pretty godhax

> raid gun store
> find biggest gun
> stuff bag full of ammo
> setup shop on a roof
> clear out blocks of zombies at a time completely silence

>not realizing how multi purpose the light saber could be
you could easily cook with it/boil water since it could probably create fire with minimal ease, open any door obviously, have something that doesn't run out of ammo and requires minimal effort to cut with. Its like a survival knife with other features bundled in.

>TFW allergic to fish
JUST FUCK MY SHIT UP

Zombies would probably pull your body apart before that.

That's actually pretty smart although I'd imagine the shining light would attract a lot of zombies

Ocean man take me to ....

>leather jacket
Leather offer almost no protection. It's an absolute meme when it comes to armor for anything not heat related.

If you're working in a forge yeah leather will keep your from burning yourself because it's highly resistant to heat but it's going to do jack shit about zombified fido unless it's like two inches thick.

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you sound useless as fuck and would for sure die within that 2 month span

>have you ever played a single zombie game or watched any zombie movie in your life? other people are always more dangerous than the zombies.

exactly user. those are movies and games. they are supposed to be dramatic, which means human antagonists almost always. In reality the strongest strattegy is to band as many people as possible together and start some sort of central city to defend.

If this is a zombie apocalipse the number of people who can even think of betraying other healthy, sane people for personal gain and not band with them for protection in this hellscape is likely very low. Even if you do find such people it would mean that you or the glasses would have to be present at every interaction.

This is the main problem, they serve very little purpose for the group either for the big picture, because the glasses only give you information about what is directly in front of you, nor the moment-to-moment since you are the only one getting the feed and all that.

If anything it most likely makes your own group more likely to double cross you to get the glasses, nevermind outsiders.

the zombie detector i suppose and then i would just stay away from other humans

>Dog
Extremely useful at start. Some clarifications could make it more or less poweful, like can it safely bite a zombie? Does it need food or can it feed itself?
>magic straw
Depending on geology, could be essential.
>zombie radar
Good for knowing you are already dead, bit like a worse dog.
>Bullshit goggles
Vague powers at best, depending on how good those powers truly are could make them total shit or cheatmode.
>almost-no-clip gun
Very good for a start, better or mildy worse depending on your starting location.
Overall best tool for zombies, humans and even for survival.
>no-clip bow
Extremely good, the real op shit might actually be the unlimited arrow quiver. Good amount of versatility and some meme potential.
>mute hood
Sleeper OP, making noise is the one thing nobody can avoid indefinitely and will almost without a doubt at some point threaten to compromise your safety. Combined with being able to do even the most noisy actions in total silence, the hood is incredible. Prolly the most OP if you can reliably obtain a firearm or a car.
>stasis bag
Preserving food indefinitely is incredible, really relieves pressure off from one of the most demanding aspects of survival. Weightless carry will further mean you do not spend as much energy carrying your stuff. Final grade depends on does the "Outside force" include weather & moisture.
>batman gun
Location dependant, very good in cities and areas with even a few tall trees.
>skeleton key
Location dependant. Does it work on cars? Are passwords locks? Final grade pending.
>laser dildo
Even if skeleton key operated on the lowest possible level, this is still worse. Force powers are not included so melee is still quite dangerous.
>pornhub machine
Even with all knowledge internet may provide, it most likely still sucks.
Most online services wont work and most knowledge will not be useful without a good amount of human capital & resources. Can turn very powerful in the longrun.

Attached: DancingDonut.gif (647x534, 1.55M)

You are for the zombies

Gimme the water, I would kill myself if I couldn't find delicious water.

>no u

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>It's all you would need.
What about the electricity to power the computer? Without it you can't read the usb key.

You'd be taking the same risk with a camp fire really. You could whip up a pretty good barricade that would normally require a chainsaw, blow torch or saw of some kind. It would be useful as fuck unless you're stupidly looking for a fight.

lol he said semen

glasses are op

>[use] *gun* on [self]

Mask is honestly OP, everything you are in direct contact with also becomes inaudible?
You can drive around in complete silence.
You can sneak up on any zombie with say a spear or a safe weapon and insta-gib them without worry.
If you get a gun you can be even more easy mode.
You will always hear others before they hear you which means staying undetected from sight is easier
Wear a complete black suit with gloves and you will be near undetectable during night time or low light situations.

Give me the hood.

>Even with all knowledge internet may provide, it most likely still sucks.

You are underestimating the power of all the cumulative knowledge of humanity at your disposal. Having access to the internet means you can avoid any danger. You can even just not hunt and look for other sources of food via foraging and you always know what you can eat and how to get it. And this power only scales exponentially with the number of people in your party.it is hands down the best choice of the bunch. Nothing even competes with it in terms of long term viability and increasing the chances of reestablishing society and civilisation

With the lightsaber I can boil water, make fire, locks or doors are non-existant, a sourse of light and can cut zombos like fucking grass.
Why would i need anything else?

this is the ultimate cheese but something i would also do

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>You can sneak up on any zombie with say a spear or a safe weapon and insta-gib them without worry.

u wot m8? you ain't getting anywhere near a zombie you fucking moron. the fuck is wrong with you? You think you just sneak up on a zombie and press a button for a stealth kill animation? get fucking real nigger.

mask is probably the best early game but it gets really underpowered if you manage to get far and party up. I guess you could argue it makes it the best anyway because surviving the first months would be the most challenging part but it is far from OP

The problem is that it doesn't turn you into a Jedi. Your're just a regular dude with a lightsaber.

All of these are pretty tough choices, but a lot of them are situational. The ninja mask, glasses, and internet backup are probably the best. But the gun and bow are good too, and the lightsaber is like a weightless blade that's extremely easy to cause accidents but would also be a versatile survival tool. The water filter and backpack are good long-term ones too.

>get mobbed
>die

>get attacked by large animal
>die

>try to hunt
>can't run fast enough to hit pray with my sword
>can't sneak up on the because of the noise beam of blinding light on my hand
>starve
>die

>u wot m8? you ain't getting anywhere near a zombie you fucking moron. the fuck is wrong with you? You think you just sneak up on a zombie and press a button for a stealth kill animation? get fucking real nigger.
Are you retarded or something? Sound is the most dangerous enemy you have in a zombie apocalypse because sound attracts more zombies.
If you make no sound what is stopping you from having an axe, a spear, an ice pick, and walking/running up to a zombie from behind and chopping it straight in the head.
Even if you miss you can just run the fuck away and the second you turn any corner they won't be able to follow you anymore.

Other zombies can still see you

>Dog
The only correct answer. Can detect the zombies and humans by smell, can hunt, can fucking talk and not let you go insane. Also can smell if women are nearby for you to rape them.

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Yeah, but application is a different issue. I did mention that it gets crazy in the longrun, but the question is how to get there or more importantly how will YOU get there.
Time is finite and you need food, water, hygiene, protection and a place to stay. While it does help you know where these things are, it does nothing to help you get to them.
People are also extreme liabilities for a very long time after the scenario starts and you hold something every single "leader/boss" type would want for themselves.

It may be the most starting condition and skill level dependant tool out of them all

>the number of people who can even think of betraying other healthy, sane people for personal gain and not band with them for protection in this hellscape is likely very low.
doesn't stop people who live in third world shitholes from pointlessly killing each other and making gangs and factions. this shit is NOT uncommon at all, people are just like that. this happens every day, nothing fictional or dramatized about it. tribalism has been a thing for as long as humanity has existed, it's in our nature. the nihilism in the air from an impending zombie apocalypse would only make it worse.
>In reality the strongest strattegy is to band as many people as possible together and start some sort of central city to defend.
good point. never mind what it would take to get there and the living conditions and INEVITABLE power struggle that would create, you're still gonna have to sustain it by organizing regular expeditions and the glasses would work perfectly for that. resource gathering is basically what they were made for.

>Vague powers at best, depending on how good those powers truly are could make them total shit or cheatmode.
How is anything mentioned in the glasses description vague? Displaying the composition of materials is an amazing advantage to have in a survival situation. You can look at any water source and immediately determine if it's safe to drink. Useful resources is the most vague part of it, and doesn't matter for shit if you already understand what is and isn't a survival resource. NV/FLIR on your face is fucking fantastic for mobility and tactical awareness. Total location awareness gives you immense advantages in route planning. Really the most useless part of the glasses is the picture/video function.

>Even if skeleton key operated on the lowest possible level, this is still worse. Force powers are not included so melee is still quite dangerous.
Are you one of the retards that thinks you have to have force powers to use a light saber? You can kill an unlimited number of zombies by just holding your arm out and letting them walk into it. You can open any locked container, harvest wood, build shelters from solid rock, start fires, melt metals for casting, cook food, or boil water in record time. It's the second or third best option on the list for survival.

Yes? Why do you assume I haven't taken into account? You obviously only attack one if you have to, and if you have to then do what you can to avoid line of sight.
Again, you are inaudible so you can move much much faster than you would sneaking and a failure wont result in a chase.

>a zombie hord approaches
>good boy starts barking
>attracts the hord
I love dogs but donno if they wold work well

Not some shitty biker's leather jacket, no.

But studded leather, with metal plate inserts? Shit nigga ain't no zambie biting through that.

You don't need that much skill to flail an instakill stick in the direction of the zombie.
Unless it's one of the bullshit fast types. Then there isn't really much you can do with either of these items.

>doesn't get the point
first of all, you wouldn't even have the stones to do somthing like that. secondly, this isn't a videogame where enemies follow scripted routes and behaviour patterns so you can time your approach and the hit a button to execute a kill, you need strength, accuracy and composure, and you still won't likely kill in one hit unless you are lucky, and you may not make any sound but the zombie can and most likely will.

regardless of all that, it's an unbelievably stupid idea only a moron who plays too many videogames would think of trying.

>has intellegent of 20 yo human
He wouldn't start barking

>am a faggot that actually studied HEMA fencing and did tournaments
>might actually be able to take on a large animal or multiple zombies and shit with a sword that can just be used as a fucking death stick
For once in my life my autism is gonna pay off, baby

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You are the retard because you think I meant running around like it is assassins creed taking down hordes on my own.
Being able to kill one zombie that is in your way without any risk of it attracting more is obviously a valued action if you need to do it.
Killing zombies is something you should avoid and I don't get why your brainlet ass decided to get hung up on that over the other massive perks to being inaudible.

its a lightsaber. just spin it like a helicopter around you and everything dies desu anyone can do it

He's a smart dog man, he'd bark to divert attention away from you, not bring them closer

>get attacked by large animal
Can just poke it while it changes at me and end up with broken bones at worst
>try to hunt
>can't run fast enough to hit pray with my sword
Not needed since it allows me to enter any shop or house to get as much equipment as I need to hunt shit
>get mobbed
Most of other items won't help here either

>People are also extreme liabilities for a very long time after the scenario starts and you hold something every single "leader/boss" type would want for themselves.

I don't think you understand the scenario.

being stripped of your power eventually to a stronger person than you and being relegated to being just another low rank person in a strong group of people is a GOOD outcome. THis isn't a videogame, you have to calibrate your spectrum in regards to the quality of the possible outcomes. Living alone in the wilderness just surviving untill the end of your days with no hope of finding other people are leaving offspring is just a fucking miserable prospect and way worse than the scenario above, even if you are relatively successful at it, and eventually you will get old and become unable to perform and either starve or get killed by a wild animal.

>It may be the most starting condition and skill level dependant tool out of them all
legitimate criticism. But it's also the one the scales the most with intelligence and party size. If you use it correctly it makes everything WAY easier, something you already sort of mentioned

What are you gonna do with a flash drive and no power to use any computer?

everyone is influenced by eastern zombie stories where everyone is scantily clad because the substance of the stories suck so much you need sex to sell

>being stripped of your power eventually to a stronger person than you and being relegated to being just another low rank person in a strong group of people is a GOOD outcome.
Check out this cuck who wants to be a slave to some asshole powerfreak.
Nah, you keep that to yourself.

>doesn't stop people who live in third world shitholes from pointlessly killing each other and making gangs and factions.

>people in third world countries live in a zombie apocalypse

user, those tribes fight each other for power because they are the only exestental threat to each other. people you encounter in a zombie apocalypse are more akin to the people in those countries who live in a random village constantly terrified of being either raided by one of the tribes for resources and or man power or being in the crossfire of a conflict between the two.

All these brainlets. The key is the best option in all categories. Glasses are second. Half of the options are useless traps and yet people still select them.

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>You can look at any water source and immediately determine if it's safe to drink.
"Material composition" is very different from "Can tell if the water holds dangerous microbes or diseases".
And in a scenario like this, situational information is often lesser to strategy and cool nerves. These glasses can be great for someone of high skill level, but without the individiuals own input they are nothing.

Lightsaber goes to shit the moment you face a hostile human, face a zombie swarm or trip over a rock and get sliced up.
All the other things you mention are able to be done with little to no effort, require human capital or knowledge/skills, none which the laser dildo gives.

if you have something as powerfull as sound voiding in any such situation using it to flee is always way better than attempting some retarded solid snake shit. If escaping is an option, there's nothing worth risking killing a zombie for.

>Can just poke it while it changes at me and end up with broken bones at worst

m8 if a bear charges you and all you have is a short stick, no matter how sharp it is you are dying my nigga. You may kill the bear, but it won't save you. Also broken bones in the apocalypse is also most likely a game over.

>Most of other items won't help here either
a lot of the other items give you a significant advantage at avoiding getting into those situation or escaping them. Lightsaber doesn't. If you get ambushed by a few dozen zombies, especially in close quarters you are 99.999% sure to die there.

You realise that being a "low rank member of a powerfull group" is what you are now, right? You realise that wether you like it or not your life is under the rule of a power freak because who is more powerful and charismatic than you, right?

It's easy to be a tough guy on the internet a say "nah bro I'd just solo the game and 1v10 all the zombies with my l33t skillz xD" but your ancestors at some point were basically slaves to some asshole and they could've chosen to fleeinto the wilderness never to be seen again and live on their own.

And they still chose to be slaves because surviving on your own in the wilderness is fucking brutal, nevermind the world being infested by 7 billion mindless zombies who will suicidally try to murder you.

It's not the best choice, but the dog. I like dogs, I want to talk to dogs, and having a dog translator would be the cutest shit

>those tribes fight each other for power because they are the only exestental threat to each other.
they're not user, not having any food is. the city you described would have to be a textbook hunter-gatherer society. think of ancient tribes and replace early humans' natural predators with zombies, that's what this is. the zombies are not a definite, organized threat, you only deal with them if you have to. your main goal is trying to stay alive. you're regressing humanity by several thousands of years, all of history and present times show that this is exactly the environment a zombie apocalypse would create.

>Lightsaber goes to shit the moment you face a hostile human, face a zombie swarm or trip over a rock and get sliced up
Exept for the gun what doesn't? And you can just use the saber to get into the gun shop and get a gun.
>All the other things you mention are able to be done with little to no effort
Why waste any when you can waste none? Slicing down a tree or creating a fire is instant with this.
It's a tool. A very versatile one.

>>

but that's not a fair comparison because both are at much greater risk of being annihilated by zombie hordes. Do you realise how insane it would be to start a war with another tribe exhausting all your resources when theres millions of zombies in all direction who will immediatley charge you the moment you make noise or attract any attention?

It may be possible, but most likely people who are sane enough to survive the initial stages and form stable-ish groups would quietly cooperate or agree to step away from eachother because neither are nearly as terrifying or dangerous as the zombies lurking all around.

God tier:
Glasses
Bow and Arrow
Backpack

Top tier:
Dog
Drinking straw
Key
Zombie detector

Mid:
Gun
Lightsaber

Low tier:
Mask
Laptop

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>studded leather

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Catch a wave pupper

Why is the dog top tier? It doesn't seem that useful for me. Sure you could tell it to fetch things even from a place infested with zombies since it wouldn't be attacked, but it's still a dog and it wouldn't be able to open doors or do demanding tasks.
You would also need to constantly feed it which could end up being a huge detriment

How? Do they have the muscle strength to do so?
I can imagine the rock pulling the limbs of a skinny and small person but normal zombies especially after tissue degradation in the muscle, cannot pull you apart.

because that user is a retard. just look at his list

I love this type of threads. I made this tier list assuming that you would be an intelligent survivor, and try to form a group to survive as quickly as posible.

retarded tier:

If you picked one of the weapons that isnt the bow, you are really retarded, we are talking about zombies here, how much firepower would you want? The lightsaber could hurt you if you dont know how to use it and without force powers in the package any other sword would perform just the same. As for the handgun... yeah sorry but I dont want to alert every zombie in the city and bring them next to me, and even if I wanted to, I could get a regular handgun quite easily and do just fine.

Meh tier:

These are items that could be useful in specific situations, but they get overshadowed by the other tiers items above quite easily, the only one I had doubts about was for the bow, but finally decided not to put it into the good tier because first. You have to learn how to use it correctly, and second, if you live in a city one of its main purposes (hunting) just vanishes. And as much as I hate to say it, the dog cant compete with the items above, sorry animal lovers.

Good tier:

The radar would be in the meh tier, if it wasnt for one particular trait, the ability to know when one of your fellow survivor friends is infected is golden, information is power. And the ninja mask doesnt really need a lot of explanation, you automatically become the best scavenger of the group.

top tier:

virtually infinite potable water? the ability to infinitely preserve food, liquids, and other objects without them weightening you down?
Infinite information on any subject related to survival and the ability to plan diferrent routes for any purpose no matter where you are?

Yeah, these items are pretty much the cheat mode of the list.

Attached: Zombie Apocalypse Items Tier List.jpg (2640x1124, 625K)

I think the improved intelligence (combined with telepathy) would make most tasks (that don't involve fingers) relatively okay.

In order of usefulness:

1. Glasses. Literally cheating, doesn't need to be explained.

2. Laptop. Phenomenal due to availability of all old world data and information. You could Google/learn anything. A must have.

3. Water filter. Phenomenal for obvious reasons. Depending on the state of the world, access to clean water is going to be a significant issue. Can't live without it.

4. Dog is amazing because the zombies ignore him. This means he can be used for solo scouting, hunting, and more. Intelligence boost also means he can be trusted to assist in long-term planning.

5. Zombie detector: It's useful, especially for scouting buildings, but it's also limited in its utility. Would be more handy for people that want to avoid zombies at all costs.

6. Handgun. It's neato (and I'm going to assume it doesn't need to be cleaned or anything) but limited in range and accuracy. Unless you're a trained Navy Seal or some shit, it won't save you if you bump into more than 1 zombie.

7. Lightsaber. Very potent as both a weapon and a general tool. Melee combat in a zombie setting is undesirable though, as any flesh wound is potentially fatal to you. Also without sufficient practice, you're likely to chop off your own leg.

8. Backpack is great strictly for food reasons. Volume is limited, so even then its usefulness isn't great.

9. Ninja mask. This is only useful if you use video game logic. Real life applications would be more limited. What good is sneaking up a flight of stairs if someone spots you?

10. Grapple gun is a neat gimmick, but, like Spiderman's web slinging, would be useless in certain settings.

11. Bow. Handgun but worse.

12. Key. Cool, but again this is largely based on video game logic where everything is locked in a safe. The reality is that even if you found a safe loaded with gold bricks, you couldn't carry them anyway. Maybe you get to the pentagon and use the key to control the nukes, but you have to live that long first.

Dogs can help you out on huntings and sort and act as an alarm system.
It can track down specific items or person.
but dog should be S tier for its companionship. In a world where human groups can be dangerous and rare, having a good boy around can save you from pulling the trigger on yourself.

Realistically speaking, I think the dog would only be better than the other options if you're Canadian

Backpack, stuff all the zombies in it.

the DOGGER is cool

Dog is probably best. You can just chill somewhere and make him get you supplies since he's smart enough to do most things on his own and completely loyal and he's even ignored by the zombies. Only threat is some fucker killing you or the dog.

>The lightsaber could hurt you if you dont know how to use it and without force powers in the package any other sword would perform just the same
You don't need force powers to strictly use it, sure, don't expect to do jedi bullshit and near precognition to do advanced moves, but it's still a fucking lightsaber, stick your arm forward and sweep lazily, it will still cut through zombies like they weren't even there.
Can any other sword vaporize flesh on contact or melt through steel or cut through fucking anything in almost an instant? Or boil water?

i bet if you were good enough you could weld with one

This. It opens anything you morons, ANYTHING. Which means I can open the doors to military bases ane open the door of a tank.
Put yourself in retarded tier
>lightsaber is bad
Nigger, just spin around in a circle and chop everything near you in half. You don't need to do fancy ass backflips and deflect blasters with it, you just need to kill zombies.

Mmm fair points, I guess after what you just said I would place it in Meh tier, quite honestly I never thought it could be used to boil water.

What about when you get dizzy?

Even with the Laser Dildo, you would need to disable the movement of the zombie.
Classically this means, destroy the head.
Even if you do that, you will slowly be surrounded by corpses that are a serious tripping risk, not to mention that if you fail to disable one completely, a single scratch may doom you.

Melee just ain't viable in this scenario.

Dog. What survivor group dosent want the guy with the cool ass dog at their camp. Let them do the killing.

After reading your post a few times I realized it's entirely retarded assumptions and implications.
>implying i would be getting dizzy
>implying i dont practice turning around in circles with my nieces and nephews for this exact scenario
>implying i wouldnt be wearing a sharkproof suit
>implying i cant walk over corpses
>implying i would allow myself to get surrounded when i have a weapon that can make exits for me
>implying cutting something in half doesnt disable their movement

>All this love for the bow

Are you guys retarded?

Bow would be a hassle to carry all day and constant reloads would be annoying and eventually hurt you (and can any of you use a bow? And hit a target as small as a zombies brain? I'd guess for a large majority of you: NO)

Light saber sucks because you aren't a jedi user

>B-B-BUH

No. One of the most useful Jedi tricks combined with the light saber is deflecting attacks that come whipping at you at super fast speeds. Other than a few neat things, this is pretty bad.

The key could be useful if you had a specific plan for buildings without a lot of windows and wanted to do a lot of moving, but if you were gonna sit your ass down somewhere, pretty shit.

The dislike for the dog is weird because dogs have been man's best friend for centuries, and they couldn't actively talk and tell you things were fucky or screwy. Imagine on top of the barking, he would be telling you "WAKE UP, WAKE UP, THERE'S FUCKING ZOMBIES COMING" or "I smell food, cooking food. Someone must be nearby." etc

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Do you know how to properly operate a bow? Using one with any degree of accuracy for an extended period of time in an actual combat situation? You and anyone else that picks it is totally fucked.

This. None of you are bow masters, and if any of you were, you wouldn't be posting on a Taiwanese Doll Collecting Auction House

>bow is only good if you know how to use it
Shut the fuck up retards, no shit you need to know how to use it. Why the fuck are so many idiots pointing out the obvious

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Little old ladies carry snubnoses

The average person with a bow & arrow would be a sad sight before they're eaten while the zombie pungies them with like 10-20 bows lodged into himself.

>One of the most useful Jedi tricks combined with the light saber is deflecting attacks that come whipping at you at super fast speeds.
No. That would probably be SLICING through ANYTHING while also melting it.

>lightsaber
>literally open ANY door, mechanical or digital
>put in a bowl of water to boil and sterilize it
>no need to hide or anything since there wouldn't a type of zombie that would survive a fucking lazer beam
>don't even need to be skilled, just flail it in front of you and it will cut no matter how retarded the swing was

con
>chance of killing yourself if you're a complete retard

Thats exactly what I said and why I placed it in the MEH tier, the only reason its there is that atleast it is better than the handgun.

>raiders snipe you

Or even if they're a couple feet away, they blast you and you're flailing around like the fat star wars kid except bleeding like a stuck pig

>Even if you do that, you will slowly be surrounded by corpses that are a serious tripping risk
Just dismember the corpses with the saber.

Anyone who doesn't take the straw is retarded.
Clean water is priority one, something that completely nullifies it as a problem is the greatest survival tool you could have.

Gun would need a buff. How about if you lose it, it appears back in your belt in 2 hours?

If you know about dynamo effect and some basic electronics you could probably rig a generator from shit you find in hardware stores.

Grapple Gun sounds useful but that depends if I can do the "rip vents/doors/week walls apart" stuff you can in the Arkham games.

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What the fuck are you deflecting with a lightsaber? A zombie throwing a smaller zombie? I think that's pretty easily deflected.
>weapon primarily used for hunting in current year
>bad against something you need to disable by destroying it's head or spine
wooooooooooow who the fuck designed this piece of shit
Raiders could kill you whether or not you have a lightsaber. Don't be stupid.

>semen skills
this user knows what he's talking about

You would likely need to know the specifics of the charger though, you can't simply slap a dynamo, hook two wires to the charging port and call it a day, you'll likely need voltage regulators at the very least

You might as well rush at raiders with a katana that's how useful the light saber would be in that situation

>get the backpack
>get INTO the backpack
>become a zombie apocalypse genie while snacking on infinite snacks
>wait for 1000 years inside
>get out
>profit

It doesn't clone food, it just preserves it.

Yeah, but to zombies you are food so you're preserved and don't have to eat.

Then he becomes a genie when somebody opens it except he grant wishes

*he can't grant

>to zombies you are food
The backback wasn't made from a Zombie's perspective
What if you can't fit in the backpack?

Cannibal/wild animal here, humans are food and the bag doesn't say what or whose perspective.

>completely ignored in ALL circumstances, including while mauling them
Man's best friend is the only choice.

>turns into a zombie dog

Plus it opens any door just like the key. Only don't expect to close them again.

>Cannibal/wild animal here
Fucking knew v was full of kiwis

>m8 if a bear charges you and all you have is a short stick
One limiting factor in fighting bears is that you can't just cut them in half. Unless you could...

Glasses are actually OP and if you take anything else you were the weakest link from the start. Only possible exception is the laptop depending on the context of the situation. If you're alone with nothing, glasses.

>You could Google/learn anything. A must have
You can do that now, why don't you know everything?

>Light saber sucks because you aren't a jedi user
You can just use it as an EX+++ rank machete though

The glasses seem pretty fucking OP out of everything.

Who says he couldn't use any other weapon he may stumble on the way? The Lightsaber would assumedly be one he could take beforehand. But there's nothing saying he couldn't just find a fucking gun later on.

the lightsaber sounds like the lamest thing ever

>find water source
>o shit, it's fucking useless now

The gun really deserves a buff in my opinion, every other item has atleast situational uses, but not including a supressor, and the fact that it can be broken or lost just automatically makes it worthless.

dog

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And if you don't find it?
Even if you find it you need to filter and boil it beforehand to not die from a case of the turboshits

yeah bro just find a water source

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and if you don't find any sort of liquid and die within 3 days? useless again.

>you die of dehydration in three days

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obviously the bag. infinite food preservation is too much

you're gonna be so shit after 3 days without any liquid intake, you're as good as dead

Lightsaber is the most underrated thing in this thread. You can kill a fuckton of zombies with just a touch, not to mention that it can cut you clean through doors.

infinite food preservation =/= infinite food

try not drinking after 3 days just as an experiment, you'll be plagued with headaches, your energy will drop so much you'll lose motivation to do anything.
you'll end up making mistakes because your brain will literally shrink making you more irritable, you'll have pain in your joints and you'll feel hunger ontop of your existing one.

laptop, we are NOT doing the reset from pre-industrial level meme.

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nigger by the time you can do that the length of his body makes it so you get mauled anyway.

You ain't surviving a paw to the face from a grizzly

>game is full of monkey paw choices

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key or lightsaber would be the best bet.

revelation potion could give you all of those other options powers.

Admit that Glasses + Dog is the most kino combo

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the guns the only good choice. assuming its from rn, I can just close my doors and windows and no zombies are getting in. i have enough food and water for over 2 months and i have solar so the grid going down is no concern. i mean unless these are re style zombies. but either way id just stay put for a while killing any zombie i see

Why is Yea Forums so much better than /cyoag/ at this

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