Describe a game as poorly as possible

pic related should be enough

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Xcom?

It's a shit game.

chrono trigger

3 unlikely friends make a lot of money

nah its a rts

Snoop Dog fights Tpac

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Local teen learns the power of friendship through getting shot twice.

GTA V

You got it.

Another one:
Stupid kids almost kill a childhood friend, inadvertently bring forth end of the world by doing so

TWEWY

>Describe a game as poorly as possible

You need to sit still and wait in order to win the game.

Bingo

all these adults are shitheads but im just finna bust a nut

Your girlfriend fucked up, but you forgive her. Grandma isn't too fond of her tho, so she goes apeshit and you have to kill her.

i cant remember which far cry game this was

The developer team crashes your ship that is going to the final boss.

A gimp gives you cryptic advice in difficult situations.

You can suicide bomb tanks with jeeps and survive without a scratch.

fight geodudes in the sewer

some kids give you a book so you can save the world

This ending was the best one honestly. He sets his mom's ashes without having to go on a killing spree, and doesn't have to side with one of two morons to overthrow his dad. Of course you skip the game part of the game by doing so.

Two generals get stunlocked to death.

You are defeated and the world got fucked, then you save it with the power of friendship

He doesn't like olives on his pizza

Autistic nerd destroys whole twon because his employer wanted to take his work from him.

Is that one of the Battlefield games? Never played it but heard people complain about it a lot.

Every fucking Final Fantasy.
Look it up. It's true.

Kingdom Hearts 3?
FF6?
Papers Please?
Just Cause?

You need to defeat a witch by putting together puzzles.

Banjo Kazooie

Final Fantasy didn't have shit about the power of friendship, you literally make a DnD party with no background and go fuck up some knight trying to cause a time loop

Spend far too long ballroom dancing for no real benefit in between bouts of trying to locate huts in the middle of nowhere because for no reason that's where your senpai is.

you go into a cave looking for your father who got lost in there but he ends up stealing the treasure from you when you finish

Father hates son.
Son hates father.
Father trains with grandchild to punch some ancient god.
Father shoots grandchild.

MINDHACC

Snowboarding, but in a house!?!?!?

yes 42

Your past self had a knowledge boner and fucked the whole world by making god angry

You beat up zombies with curtain rods and eat pinecones.

tssssssss, BOOM

Tekken?

Resident Evil 2

stuck with annoying female cousin on artificial vacation world, aliens attack and kidnap your parents, crash on under developed planet, crash on another under developed planet (but this ones in a war), beat up god

Starcraft?

You avoid becoming a furry until the end where it turns out to not be as bad as you expected

I can't forgive Tekken 6. The plot goes full retarded.

Are you serious?

MGS2

brave soldiers without spines fight a never ending war until the hero who appears in every entry loses his ass and a nuke goes off causing sickness and drowning
the war hits its curtain call and you spare a thought as you fight on

Veger and Errol

worms

star ocean 3?

Autistic kid's mom didn't reply to this post and died in her sleep so he sucks his friends into a book to cope.

Nope.

you got it

niggers iffy uh

but thats implying the kids mom was on Yea Forums and didnt reply, im not a mom

you did this wrong, we aren't moms

Mental.

After living a slice of life romcom, you isekai to a mecha fantasy and go through intense suffering.

Pic is used to mislead you

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kinda close
the descriptions are literally what the three factions are

Killer 7

Your mom forces you to play astronaut every day until the devs run out of kickstarter money

Girl with big titties gets wild with a fishing road

Some dick ass otaku is pulling the strings and the perfect murder guy actually just had special hyena eyes that he got killed for

boggy b deserved better bros

rod*

You beat the retarded out of a man only pretending to be retarded

How was that described poorly i bet you are a sumika poster

Zanki zero?

/biz/: the game

Umihara Kawase

danganronpa v3?

Framed dude escapes from prison gets magic powers from god and chooses to kill everyone or not

Four "S" and you grab balls while being anime

Dishonored

Dude becomes evil incarnate because the princess he was supposed to bang killed herself

Changed

Tf2

Dishonored

A big gay roadtrip with no sense of urgency

Dishonored?

Nope
Live a Live

You're an excellent human.

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Planescape torment.

Final fantasy xv

Mgs 4

Lain ?

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flea infested dog kills a fish

I helped work on the game a bit after all

Nobody guessed it yet. ;)

No. I don't think anyone will get it to be honest.

giorgio tsoukalos and sigmund freud had a baby and you gotta unbirth it by saying a bunch of mean words at it

Isekai'd into a new world and now your own species is trying to kill you

Wacky wahoo pizza man and deadweight go to the city to help his brother with some gardening.

Muv Luv?

Red hot chili peppers?

Good game fucked up by time limit and bad control

Purse Owner 4?

NO NO NO NO MY UNUSUALS
THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING
VALVE MAKE IT STOP NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You're actually a dog that did a bad thing and got isekai'd with your owner, so you decide to retcon yourself out of existence

Drugs are bad mkay
But murder is cool

Persona 4

you save a clutz demon from getting run over by a car
she teleports you to an all girls school by mistake and you need to fit in

are you even trying ?

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Not Indiana Jones runs around and solves cryptic puzzles

You go on a generic quest and report to your princess only to find that everything went according to your rapist’s keikaku

Hmm MGS? But which one? It could also be Nier: A or Persona 5.

Giogios bizarre adventure?

Jazz Jackrabbit

Everyone gets a case of the feels and decides to beat up the sun

La Mulana

Fuck you!

A girl goes back in time specifically to stop you from being a socially retarded shut-in

NARC?

Digital Devil Saga

Too be fair that could also be spelunky and 1001 spikes
is more specifically LM

Lemon Stands

Secret agent man goes alone and kills an army of mentally deficient cultists overnight.

Way faster than I expected

Your hometown gets wrecked so you decide to kill a bunch of people and steal their jobs.

Bet fake money on fake fights while listening to good music

I also posted LM up there

You fucked it up

Spelunky and 1001 don't have cryptic puzzles for the most part.

PLACE YOUR BETS
BETTING TIME IS NOW OVER

You try to ruin your best friend's dream of seeing his mom again because of escapism

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You need to go back in time to get the thing that allows you to go back in time because your foes have gone back to the most inconsequential events in history that have no bearing to humanity's past at all but eh whatever.

FFTA

You have to juggle babysitting, leg exercises, and bartering all at once.

the last of us

Your brother and you yell at you to not accidentally doom humanity while you accidentally doom humanity.

Well now I want to know what this is.

Stein's;Gate?

MUH GENES

You keep dying because you miscount how many icecubes you have then a dumbass whale wakes you up

MM

Slay the Spire

You're stuck in a castle that for some reason has Indianna Jones style rolling boulders, secret passages, mummies, giant sphinxes, and a fucking airship; the only way out is to beat up a bunch of people and then beat up the owner of the castle while he's having his dinner.

Yakuza 6

The protagonist wants to get home but is easily sidetracked to get more money. It ends up royally fucking himself and others over.

Metal Gear Solid

nu-GoW

Not the game I was thinking of, but I haven't played Yakuza 6 so I can't tell if it's accurate or not.

No, more obscure.
Everyone has earpieces and the main antagonist besides yourself are hackers.

LISA: The Painful RPG.

Persona 5

>you kill people over a bioethics debate

You try to come up with something witty to get responses but fail miserably.

A dude who fucked his sister kills everyone so that he can also fuck his sister-in-law, but when the most perfect piece of ass in the world throws herself on him he's like "No way fag."

You and your retard friends are on a quest to sit on a chair.

a bunch of vikings run across the continent

Some autist never answers his phone when it rings

Human Revolution?
Nuclear Throne?

FF15

Naked and Afraid: Oedipus Complex edition.

Dark Souls 2

You try and save your sister by murdering everyone in your path, your sister kys herself rather than admit she wants to fuck you and the world gets permanently fucked from there.

guy comes to check on his gf, end up saving the world

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FNAF

Tactics Ogre LUCT

You take a pre-employment test and get hired on the end of the game

Some autist listens to his phone a bit too much.

You play the game and nothing makes any sense

>Human Revolution?

Hint: killing people is mandatory in this one.

Drakengard?

The main quest ends with your buddy turning into the thing that has been the series logo since the third numbered entry.

I feel like I played this game before.
Mind giving me the answers in spoilers?

Yep

Does he like hurting other people?

1bitheart

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The game has a perfect first arc and sets a tone darker than the previous entry. It heavily shits itself half way in and goes full anime bullshit.

you must prevent nonverbal autists from suffocating to death

Japanese men fight over some land

Final Fantasy 8?

Ayn Rand goes scuba diving

Oblivion?

SOMA obviously

Dead Space

An orphan and a priest get into a fistfight after a heated abortion debate.

Meme magic is real
Shenanigans ensue

That applies to so many JRPGs that I can't pin point it to a single one.

youtu.be/aW0otG1buB8

An asshole with no work experience tries to make rent

KH2

Persona 2?

Yakuza 0

Bingo

mgs 4
far cry something
tony hawk pro skater 2
minecraft?
dishonoured or oblivion?
dragon dragoon, aka drakengard
tony hawk pro skater 2
never played it, but Lost: the game (or whatever the lost game based on the tv show was called)?
hitman
fallout 4
final fantasy tactics, or tactics advanced
empire earth?
metal gear 1
idk, but i wanna say i have not mouth and must scream is the closest thing i can think of
deus ex human revolution or the other one
dragon dragoon, aka drakengard
dead space?
silent hill shattered memories
pathologic
soma or bioshock 1
catherine or no more heroes

angry wastelander makes people think the world is not a threat

Conker bad fur day

all wrong

Fallout For and I Have No Mouth are both wrong.

Nope to

Nope, sry
Y'got it

LSD Dream Emulator

>Lost: the game
The fuck? Also, no.

yep dead space

Real life

EYE

Ayn Rand has nothing to do with SOMA at all

It’s bioshock dumbass

Correctus on pathologic

No shit

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"You need to save the world please help us"
"hmm no"

You're a teenager with an inexplicable ability and a group of ragtag dudes from all walks of life, including a special 'bad guy', trying to take down a corrupt government organization who killed your father and plans on subjugating everyone else. You beat them with a giant robot.

Complex villain finds a comfy chair offscreen.

Both are very viable and good guesses. But I did think of pathologic this time.

you put a bunch of eggs on the floor

You're a crime boss and your daughter accidentally starts working in a bar run by ex-wife of another crime boss and accidentally bangs illegal immigrant who is also secretely a son of some mafia boss.

>Start playing the game
>you already lost
Hint: not japanese

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Yakuza 6

my life, since im not japanese

Exactly. Holy shit, it was really bad.

No one will know this one since it's a very unknown game.

You're a furry studying in a mystical place that can make people fart and make ghosts fart themselves to oblivion.
Hint:It's very much like another game where you're the only human around.

You are usually in a group and engage enemies at different times and distances

not even close

So you're saying that you lost the game?

The story is some weird meta commentary on how video games are addictive and turn you into killers or some dumb shit but then you beat the game and can play through all the levels again without the story and it kicks ass.

Mario Paint?

You’re bored of the way things are until a magic man tells you evil’s afoot.

It's a PC game not on consoles afaik

Def jam?

>So you're saying that you lost the game?
basically the end of the game is or can pretty tragic, and it was all your fault for keeping trying to do shit

Everyone is horny and you need to turn your brain into mush to learn why.

ZTD

The Legend of MAH BOI

Stanley Parable?

You find a ring which bad guys are looking for which causes your village to get burnt down and you have to fight through bad guys wielding katanas to get out of there.

Cycles of Guilt: Cabin in the Woods edition

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Yea Forums: the game

A real kidder gets some meat and shit

Damn I didn’t think it was that obvious

Lobotomy Corp

More easy then
>start game
>try be a hero
>fail miserably
>its all your fault

i know its not right, but evangelion

Rordu offa ringu

Spec ops?

Puerto Rican destabilizes Malayan Banana Republic gone rogue.

Yep you got it!

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Just Cause 2

It's a ring you use to conjure temporary friends.

I'd say Gazillionaire, but that doesn't really fit

>Good game fucked up by time limit and bad control
>tony hawk pro skater 2
Not the game i think of, but it has similar concept

re7

You're sentenced for life because you read a fucking book

HE AINT MY BOY BUT THE BROTHA IS HEAVY

Pyre, easy

World End Economica is the only thing coming to mind, or reccater

cowboys and indians but the cowboys accidentally nuke themselves

You learn terrible truths the deeper you go, until at the end everything you did was for nothing

Ring a ding ding

Everyone was being mind controlled by the Moonman.

Ok, nobody gets it because I think only girls have played this.
I'll narrow it down more: it's an Animal Crossing clone with a Harry Potter theme made by the people that have ruined the best horror game franchise and gone full pachinko.

Not even close
Hint: PC game

In time, you will know the tragic extent of my failings...

Assholes from the surface keeps coming down to fuck up your tunnels.

Silent Hill 2?

Fuck you Tycho, every goddamned time.

Literally deeper or figuratively?

I'm not sitting in a fucking chair fuck that I'm leaving.

You and your yellow nigger search for treasure to bring back a demon

It's Penumbra, fuck that should've been easy

Dwarf Fortress

Black Ops

and here i was thinking i had played every game where you kill nana... can i get another hint or would it be too obvious?

Huh, faster than I expected.

Nah
Hint: _____JRPG_____

People go on a rampage for the silliest little things.

Magician's Quest
I had to google this shit 'cuz I know it was for DS and I emulated this but I couldn't for the life of me remember the name

>local man does EVERYTHING wrong

Local bounty hunter crashes on a planet's surface, murders 99% of its population

sorry man, I'm horable at giving hints

Ding ding!
Yeah, I forgot its name, too. But for some reason I started emulating it again.

You're angry because an american politician won't stop talking about dank memes.

Kill yourself to save your younger female relative

You're actually the cat.

Correctus

Soul Nomad
Sengoku Rance
Lost Vikings
Resident Evil 4
SRW Z.3

Your grandpa is just a fucking psychopath!

You shipwreck into jurassic park and have to find all your lost crew.

Metal gear revengeance?

FUCK CHRONO TRIGGER: the game

Nier

ghost trick

Tricks of Ghosts: Spoopy Sleuth

>Lost Vikings
Not what I was thinking of

CHRONO TRIGGER DS

Ys VIII

Cock tower 3

Banner Saga then

Actually it was DD. Penumbra was also acceptable

>Cock tower 3
nope

Yeah, it's an easy one.

Yep

I thought that one was easy, but apparently not.

Metroid?
Please don't touch anything?
Metal gear rising?

>Metroid?
Nah. Much more obscure. Isometric.

Monster hunter world?

You and your friends play games and dress up while your bully taunts you wherever you go. Eventually you get sick of his shit and follow him home but only one of you can kick his ass

You got it!

Nope, not Black Ops or Please Don't Touch Anything.

An Addict downs pills to escape the ghosts of his past

one of the main characters killed a bunch of people in the past
actually no he didn't

Your friend wants you to fuck his sister but you like another girl

You can go to the pub and buy a horse or a raft or a flying car or a space shuttle

FF7?

Yakuza

PILLS!

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Correct
Wrong

All you wanted was to find something that would make you a bit of gold but somehow you end up running around the world and get mixed up with politics even though you stopped being significant to the story the moment you got out of jail.

Uncorrect

correct, fuck that twist was dumb.
i still really enjoyed the game though

Hint:Ropes are his best asset

Fine it’s Max Payne 3

Guy gives you BFG so you don't go crazy. You and your clones go crazy anyways.

WAKA WAKA WAKA

Magic isnt real

Some guys turned into rabbits because of some flowers

You work with the police only to meet your schizo friend who owes you money who gets killed by said police and you get chased out by them, so you join criminals who help you out of the system so you can buy time to try to figure out what the hell is going on.

I too like Fozzie Bear

Umineko

Correct

You only wanted to write a fucking book but the country got nuked

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Alan wake

FF4

Hotline Miami 2?

Cave story

nope but that works too
yep

Hint: It’s a Nintendo game

A Name mixup ends with you leading a revolution.

ye

Little Busters!

Mario Party 2?

Giant fucking tip: the game's name is also the protagonist's name

You and your band of wanted bounty hunters go on a journey to find some woman at some water, killing and blowing shit up along the way.

tactics advance obviously

>your girlfriend helps break your dad out of jail

>the iraq war, IN SPACE

>climate change is real, and we need to get off this planet right now

>your girlfriend REALLY needs your help, but it turns out she's been lying to you the whole game

>a war is being fought over exotic clothing

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Metroid?

Bingo

Nope. As I said before: much more obscure. Isometric view.

very interested in this one

A literal arena shooter with a cameo from Timmy Turner’s dad

This game don't deserve it's great soundtrack, and you keep just listening to the same 10 first seconds anyway.

your grandfather hands over a company you can expand in game, when you purchase the bathroom floor you can fight a toilet named Johnny

Forget the name but is it that indie horror game where it starts with you walking your dog?

You're a girl playing with larping and sex-addicted furries and it's the end of the world.

Go to get advice for after graduation, end up killing your friends

Your mercenary leader starts a race war with the help from an alien because the army killed his parents

Your ancestor cursed your gf because she wants to fuck you

Your boss fucks you over and leaves you for dead. Lusting for revenge, you make a deal with your boss' nemesis to get back at him, but he ends up fucking you over as well. You then travel back in time and kill yourself in the past.
It turns out your boss was playing 4D chess all along, so you forgive him. Then you kill him, but he gets better. Then you die.

You escape a cave in the future while speaking gibberish

You fuck your cousins to conquer the world

Far cry 3?

Crusader kings

Nope

>deus ex human revolution
See

DESU the answer might disappoint you a bit.
Nope.

You mean Yomawari?

The Suits rpg game ?

this sounds like eye, which makes me excited to finally play it

Always hungry
Sometimes eating magic mushrooms
Spiders

That was quick

Silent Hill 2

I was thinking of Lost in Vivo but it was wrong.

No and no, but go play EYE right now.

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Not a videogame

pandoras tower

Uuh, Soul Reaver?

don't have a toaster capable, but planning on playing it on my younger brother's pc while he's out of the country in a month

Ok, ok. Not obvious enough.
Most people playing this game let their people become slave traders and cannibals.

Yea Forums

We probably should include answers in spoilered pics for efficiency.

Also, the most awesome sort of threads right now on Yea Forums

You need to stop a man in tuxedo and top hat from preventing WW1 by punching an Eldritch Abomination to death.

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Winrar!

Never played it, but Kenshi?

Shadow Hearts

Rimworld

Close, but 2D.

>everyone just posts their own and no one replies to anyone or tries to guess
Terrible idea baka desu senpai

Ent a simulation to find something. End up entering into another simulation in the first simulation.

You eat the limbs of a little girl to become god
Or vice versa.

Yep.

Correct

Alien crash lands on earth, fights jill and nemesis for coins

You put an absolute retard in charge of everything and regret it immediately

Human aimbot kills psychic soldiers

Rimworld, then.

Good job.
I need to go more obscure:

You need to break a complex 3 part curse and turn turn a slavic folk legend into a frog to win the game.

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yus

The last story

You can finish the game by not playing

F.E.A.R.

You spent more time learning about file types and computers from the software side of things in general than actually playing the game.

You're a emo boy who needs to kill himself to save the world.

Spec Ops: The line

Purse Owner 3

Far Cry 4

>472569373
Psy ops

The Beach got fucked, so you kill robots to fix it.

Trying to mod Oblivion.

Alien Octopi force you into a girl's body and now you need to stop them with rock, roll and heavy metal

was it that easy?

Extremely desu

gotta get your food back from some asshole king.

Your one night stand gives you a deadly STD, shenanigans ensue.

Sneak king
or Kirby but probably sneak king

Donkey kong 64

FEAR

VtM Bloodlines

Correct
Not quite.

Correct

I was thinking Skyrim, but it applies to Oblivion as well.

>hugh jass

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4 and 5 both have this

You killed your parents and trapped your best friend and now even god helps you and your sibling sort out your mess because you doomed the world.

Older Cousin makes younger cousin compete in demon tournament to punch god

You can never choose what items you get, you never know where youre going, you gotta die alot to figure out a fuckin thing, and youre always naked

You, your waifu and your autistic friends try to kill the hamburglar

what I had in mind butworks just as well

You jump up and down to claim land

Devil survivor

Emo kid not so emo after making friends

Salt and sanctuary?

World ends with you?

TWEWY or P3

Binding of Isaac

That literally sounds like most JRPGs.

Binding of Isaac

Its a stealth game

Let it Die?

A hint: the game is riddled with awful jokes.

a clown destroys the world

Two couples fight over which religion is better

Corret

SS13

Furry puts guns up his arse

clown plays practical jokes on you and your friends

incorrect

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Final fantasy 6

no, t.

correct

Do nothing but walk and fight bosses that kill you with "shock waves"

girl's brother goes into debt and must collect(steal) money to repay debt

Villain is mama's special boy.

boom, though the let it die fits nicely too

SS13?

whats the game based off this picture

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shadow of the cinematic experience

TO SAVE OUR MOTHER EARTH FROM ANY ALIEN ATTACK!

E D F

the pictures pretty old but its only gotten more accurate with 5

Religious nuts and cat aliens conspire to steal your prototype ancient alien tech weapon from your spaceship to wipe out humanity

loss?

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You spend some time wandering the streets of an unfamiliar town and then have to decide whether to destroy the whole town, or just one crazy building on the outskirts.

fallout 4?

>have to decide whether to destroy the whole town, or just one crazy building on the outskirts.
Any choice is right, as long as it is willed.

No
Yes

>your friend invites you to dinner
>if you don't behave, he kicks you out

im intrigued

Steamed hams

go kill your target. you are the target

m e l o n

Let's try a easy one.
You shoot sunlight.

It's Pathologic

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Baroque?

the

user I think you need to leave.

Sequel looks exactly like the previous game at first until you realize parallel universes are a shit.

nah not that either

the second deadliest warrior game

beloved game where things effect things due to third party intervention.

You try to be a hero.
You're horrible for playing the game.

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spec ops the line?

Two pretty boy bishounen decide to sleep together, but things go south when an old man joins in.

YOUR ORDERS KILLED 47 INNOCENT PEOPLE

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katana zero?

Furi

Or you can choose to save both.

Fuck You David Cage Eat My Dick

Shit always happens due to evil dragons, magic tattoos or both.

A twink with no fashion sense and a mullet goes on a quest to save the island from a dude with a monocle. His companion varies, but his robot dog is always there.

Fire Emblem?

Got it

Beat small children to death and then beat a man who thinks he's a dog to death

The 25th Ward

Distinct mafia groups fighting each other while dodgy alchemists pull strings behind the scenes as everyone chases an immortality exilir that ultimately falls in the hands of two very dumb but eccentric thieves

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It used to be about immersion but now it's about bitching over what the main character wears

A racially diverse group of misfits go on a wacky adventure to solve a voting fraud conspiracy.

You obey your boss and his secretary's orders as best as you can until you find out you used to have a better life before they forcibly hired you and decide to quit and go back to living with your old boyfriend.

Killer 7

A large group of superheroes stop an alien threat through their ability of combining together into weapons

That shitty mario shotgun flash game

Vtmb

Wandersong

Lego island

Wonderful 101

Wonderful!

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Seamus has all the balls. He beat the zoomers and the lobsters, but can she avoid getting sucked off until the everyone on in Ze Bus gets blown? High IQ Sugar Mama wants her baby, but she doesn't want to give up the baby.

Dead Rising

the bad guy was the heroic knight who was betrayed by his best friend