ITT: Melee was just released

i sharted haha

can't wait for this game to become a stale snorefest in 18 years

>No combos
>You can dodge attacks instead of blocking them
>You can dodge in the air
>Some characters get braindead recovery options with side specials
>Nerfed spikes

Who the fuck plays this casual trash?

I can't believe they actually wasted dev time on Pichu, Young Link and Doctor Mario. What the fuck were they thinking? Also why is there and empty spot on the character select and only three fucking Pokémon

what the fuck, peach is so fucking busted, why would nintendo make a character based solely around doing massive damage on good dice rolls WHAT THE FUCK
I'm starting a petition to ban peach from the competitive melee scene, we never had rng bullshit like this back in 64 and we shouldn't have it now.

Oh shit, Marth? I can't believe that they're putting anime characters in this now. Such an obscure one too.

Is it wrong if I’m looking to play as Sonic in this game? I heard he can be unlocked in Creul Smash

man I can't wait to play this game all the time, I won't even take shower breaks

Guys I found this cool thing called crouch sliding. If I airdodge into the ground really fast I slide across the ground!

BAN JIGGLYPUFF

BAN HER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>Hey this isn't how Ganondorf fought in Ocarina of Time

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Nintendo could of put another cool pokémon like Heracross, Hitmonchan or Mewtwo in the game. Instead, we get Pichu. So much for my first day of unlocking characters.

It'd be cool if Sony made a Smash clone where you could play with characters from franchises that aren't on Nintendo

How do I unlock Ridley guys? They put him in the intro movie, so that means he's in the game, right?

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Smash Ultimate? Sounds as fake as Sonic being in this game. Who are you trying to fool?

>Mewtwo in the game
yeah, right

DOES THAT MEAN YOU CAN PLAY WOLF TOO?

What the FUCK is an Ice Climber?!

One can dream, right? Damn, I'd even settle for the starters.

If you beat 10 characters in cruel melee and then put 63 coins into the lottery machine Rayman will be unlocked

Not gonna lie, it's a pretty fun party game to play with the buds

I can't wait to play as Bowser. There's no way they would make an important villain complete dogshit right?

Too many characters.
How the fuck am I meant to deal with each one?

m8 OP never specified what year it was or if any other Smash games released.

why does melee trigger people this much?

who the fuck is this nigger?

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I know you're lying but why the fuck would they include a PlayStation character?

Anybody else play this game while wearing diapers?

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bros, leave your gamecube on in a matchfwhile you're at school and when you come home you should be able to fight mewtwo

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Samus is so cool, thank god she's not some bimbo running around in high heels and blue spandex!

Literally who?

shit guys I just beat 15 enemies in cruel melee and I'm and (actual spoiler ahead) you unlock sonic! he has jigglypuffs neutral b, foxs side b, samus up b and mario's down b!

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Nice b8 m8

Why would she be?

I just unlocked this character. Yes it's a separate character and takes a whole slot. Like why the fuck isn't this just a costume or something?

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unironically how I got mewtwo

he's the shopkeeper from warioland 4, weird choice but I'm glad we got at least one wario character

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>Sonic in a Nintendo game

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yeah i got him to, look!

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>he doesn't know how chronology works
Come on, user, I know time as a physical concept is difficult for humans to understand but surely you should be able to understand it as it applies to us as human beings

Obviously they're promoting a revival of the dr mario franchise. I guess it will be Dr Mario Sunshine and you get to cure AIDs and malaria in a tropical country.

wtf who is marth and roy and mr. game & watch this game is CRAZY omg there are goombas in adventure mode!!

who the FUCK is Martha? What the fuck is Fire Emblem?

where's banjo? he should have been a shoe-in. how do i unlock him? also
>marth and roy
LITERALLY W H O

LMAO NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. HE'S TOO BIG.

it's called a joke, like this thread.

>THREAD BAD BCUZ NO ONE LIEKD MY SHIT JOKE

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We should have listened to the sage words of the Smash Master chillindude829.

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For the longest time I actually thought this.

>I was only pretending to be retarded.

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Guys, a friend at school told me that you can unlock Master Hand by plugging a controller into the third socket and starting a game at the exact same time as you exit the character select.

Lol yea, I bet he also told you that mew is under the truck in pokemon, dont listen to that faggot

What was the punchline to "he didn't specify what year we're in"? How is that funny?

That's literally this thread so I dont know what youre getting at.

I mean, the shopkeeper is actually Mr Game & Watch, but he's a cameo and Warioland 4 is obviously not his origin. He cameos in the Warioware series too.

I heard you can unlock Mewtwo in this game if you play for 20 hours in VS mode, don't know if it's true but I hope it is. Playing as fucking Mewtwo in Smash Bros, there's no way hes not the best character in the game

This game is so good but where's Wario and Banjo-Kazooie?

real shit, what's the chance they actually add waluigi because of the memes for the final DLC character

You need to win 420 fights in a row without losing one, but you have to play as Samus for all of them.

>naked foul mouthed black man who goes around beating up children and animals
What did Sakurai mean by this?

I heard Sakurai wanted to add Wario but instead decided to give us a bunch of clones instead.

Wasn't Sakurai getting death threats from Waluigi fans at some point?

Out of a lot of characters people want I can actually see him as a likely candidate

>friend at school tells me you can get Mew
>he tells me how
>try for like 6 hours
>decided fuck it, that faggot just lied to me
>like 14 years ago by
>visiting grandma for Christmas circa 2013
>little sister tells me that you can get Mew in gen 1 games
>I tell her that's horseshit, that's been a rumor since I was a kid
>"NO REALLY user YOU CAN, LOOK"
>she shows me her game
>fucking mew right in front of my face
I don't care if you told me the truth, fuck you Collin.

I guess he better deliver then if he values his life
I am the gamer, I am the consumer. Give me my character, mommy.

They say that Mewtwo and James Bond are hidden characters

Actually need to correct this, the princess (who is the cat) takes on the form of someone who is supposed to resemble Mr Game & Watch, as Mr Game & Watch cameos so often in Warioware, but it's not actually him in Warioland 4. However, he truly does cameo as himself in the Warioware series.

Pretending to be in a different time and pretending to not make simple logical connections are two ENTIRELY different things. Can you spot what makes them so different?

Im sorry, Brandon. I was just trying to act cool because I liked your sister

She wasn't born at the time. She's also a literal hamplanet. She's more globular than gaben.

Yeah, my bad. I meant your mom, sorry

You can unlock Dedede if you beat Adventure mode with Kirby 50 times.

I heard Rayman is an unlockable character

Also literal hamplanet. Also was a tacky as fuck wannabe latina despite being whiter than chunky cum

*has

Faggot

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are u ok retard?

Are you okay my guy?

If you let the game running for 72 hours you unlock Mewtwo.
Trust me, my dad works for Nintendo.

That was pretty much my reaction when I saw a soul calibur poster and it had Link in it

Imagine not understanding this is a joke

Seething mongoloid

“This is awesome I’m never gonna shower again!!”

btw if you shoot all the names in the credits you unlock toad

fpbp

"Me neither! In fact, I won't even get up to use the toilet!"

Shame that Wario wasn't included in this smash bros, I bet he will be in the next one though. I can't wait to see how they incorporate his Wario Land moves if he does! It will be great!

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>he’s a clone

Wow I can finally play as Sudowoodo

Cassie was only like seven dude. Gross.