I can't for the life of me figure out how to play these paradox games...

based

Get (i.e. pirate) CK2 with all the DLC its quite possibly the only fun paradox game unless you have super autism or are really into history like a fucking nerd. You can do all sorts of fun shit like create the most incestuous family tree you can, sacrifice your whole realm to satan and spawn the antichrist, go on crusades against m*slims, or kill your wife and marry your son. Just watch some videos on it or play the tutorial scenario.

Hearts of Iron 4 is the easiest most streamlined Paradox game you utter fucking pleb never dare download another game from this company
You UTTER maggot

solid nation choice

You either have Autism or you don't. I started playing Victoria II when I was 14.

HOI4 isn't that bad. Fucking Navy is confusing.

>tfw can never ever figure out how to not lose the Winter War
It gets worse by the fact that HoI IV is the only one that even bothers to give it some attention

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I hate playing uncived nations in vic2, too boring and random. Only egypt and japan are good.

>before /gsg/

Egypt is really fun

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I enjoy CK2 because holy shit I hate dice roll combat

Only gsg I could get into is crusader kings II.

He's gone a bit downhill.

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>send a 50k man offensive unit into mountain region with -2 attack general while enemy has +2 dig in bonus
>wtf is this RNG shit, I keep losing

HoI4 and EUIV are made for brainlet retards. If you are having trouble with them you might actually be retarded

Why does my army that arrived there first have the terrain malus?
Why does my morale drop by a quarter the instance battle is joined?
Why dont my AI allies ever commit to attaching themselves to my forces?
Why are my dice less than 6 while my enemy keeps rolling 8 before their general?

*blocks your nostrils*

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play ck2 1066 start and pick one of the Irish counts/dukes. It's basically the easiest start imaginable and you'll learn what to do and not to do quick.
EU4 pick either France or Ottomans, again extremely difficult to fuck up steamrolling the world.
HOI4 I wouldn't waste your time playing unless it's for Kaiserreich

>Why does my army that arrived there first have the terrain malus?
Because it takes time for your armies to dig in, you get +1 bonus every day you're digging in depending on your tech level

>Why does my morale drop by a quarter the instance battle is joined?
It probably isn't, it's likely that the base organization of your army is lower than the base organization of your enemy's army. Even though the % of the organization bar is full, your number is lower than the other guys

>Why dont my AI allies ever commit to attaching themselves to my forces?
AI is bad in this game

>Why are my dice less than 6 while my enemy keeps rolling 8 before their general?
just get lucky lol

Don't even pretend Victoria doesn't have dice roll combat. Even with a tech advantage, enemy terrain malus, dig in and autistically microing generals you will lose a fight against a same size army if you have a massive dice disadvantage in the first phase of combat. The enemy will immediately melt all your infantry and then slaughter your artillery. It doesn't always happen, but it can matter a lot for small nations in an important war. The more battles there are, the more it will average out but if you play a small nation that can only field 10 brigades that one dice roll can immediately end your game.

>one dice roll can immediately end your game
t. powergaming faggot who reloads a save anytime anything goes wrong

The game spans 100 years, you have more than enough time to rebuild your armies, research pop growth tech, specialize in army techs to have a leg up on the enemy country once the time comes, rather than fighting on equal footing in 1837 the instant you acquire a CB like an autismo

I guess this is a good place to ask then
How do I increase my army base organization? Besides trying to build army tradition, drilling my troops, checking my military tech, increasing absolutism, recruiting good generals, and trying to make use of the terrain, how else do I make my armies able to beat some East African shithole?

>having trouble with modern paradox games

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Your base organization depends on your units. See this:
vic2.paradoxwikis.com/Units
Basically don't use Irregulars ever. Reconnaissance is also really important so keep one Hussar in every stack of units. Generally your stacks should be 5inf/5art/1cav/1eng. Substitute Guards for Infantry situationally

Also make sure your government policies match your playstyle. If your current ruling party has a "Pacifist" policy you're at a huge disadvantage in battles.

you have to LARP

I was asking for EU4, but that helps when I decide to tackle vicky

>HoI4
>hard

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What Paradox game are you playing, user? Because I know enough about CK2 to get you started.

What the fuck are you talking about you retarded nigger. Not every country can fucking sit at peace for 50 years and jerk off his tech and industry score. If Prussia comes for Schleswig and Jutland as Denmark you have to win. If Sardinia wants to unify your ass when you play the papal state you have to win. If you play Mexico you have to win the Mexican-American war. If you play an african minor you have to fight as soon as possible if you want to make it to 1890. If you want to play the CSA literally the first thing you have to do to live is win a war.

Did he get a divorce? Damn

Oh, I didn't see there's already a Paradox thread up
Can anyone teach me on how to play from count to king? I was thinking about start as one of the count in England.

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>If Prussia comes for Schleswig and Jutland as Denmark you have to win.
You literally don't. Denmark can still go through the Kalmar Union decisions, Denmark could play tall and focus industry from then on, Denmark could colonize africa or do literally anything else. You can even have fun as a post-Mexican-American war Mexico if you expand into central america after the fall of the FRCA.

The only times where you HAVE to win to keep playing are cases where you will literally be annexed if you don't, and that's not the case for most countries in the game.

Stop being a powergaming faggot.

Internally? I just became king of France from the count of Boulogne, so I'll tell you my tips
Play slow and make steady moves: Fabricate claims within your duchy and grow in strength.
If you dont have primogeniture, you can go for elective succession, and, as a lone count without any proper vassals, you wont have any votes to oppose you.
Watch your Duke for any slip ups: him having one son and three daughters is great, especially if you can use a favor to betroth your son to his eldest daughter.
If you can't assassinate him and/or his son, try aggravating them and dueling them and "accidentally" killing them.
Political concerns dont usually involve grandchildren, so betrothing your 2 year old to your duke's 4 year old granddaughter wont face much oppositon.
Otherwise, protect your lord and serve in the meanwhile, as your plans rely entirely on them slipping up before they can get an edge on you. Serve on their council, try to earn their opinion, and use whatever alliances with nearby lords to enforce your claims.
As for Duke to King, I got extremely lucky when the king married a 45 year old, the king's brother died of cancer at 23, and my son had married the king's sister (a match made before either had become adults), giving him a son who suddenly became first in line. But most of the same rules fall in place, but you just have to contend with more powerful rivals in other duchies, which is why you should always side with your King in rebellions, as it gives large opinion bonuses

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