Look who came out of his cave!

>Look who came out of his cave!

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*activates guro tag*

i'm gonna go inside their caves

>You're a handsome young man user.
>Why don't you have a girlfriend?/Why aren't you married?
Bonus points if they ask if you're gay.

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AH SHIT. someone got a phone? i got lost in fucking japan again. goddammit. sorry. where's my fucking passport?

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Extra bonus points if you launch into an explanation of what is anal vore in response

>Uncle comes to the house
>he start to have a conversation with my parents
>suddenly they call me downstairs
>my uncle say "son, why are you still single at 19? are you gay? I wont judge you you can tell me"
>"n-no I'm not gay its just really hard for me to get a gf, uncle"
>"oh thank god"
What the fuck bros? My family thinks I'm gay just because I dont have a gf

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Uncle's worried he made you gay

Nobody has ever asked me this

I think my mom asked me that once, I'm 27 now. Consider that your parents are normalfags who had children so they might have a hard time grasping not everyone is like them.

>Mom bring her friends to the house
>"ah look user its so handsome!"
>"I bet you have a lot of girlfriends"
>"What a cute little man"
>"I can be your gf if you want user"
I dont get it bros, is the taste of old women that low? is the taste of younger women that high? Or am I just retared?

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They don't think you're gay because you don't have a girlfriend, it's because you stopped trying / never started, and a man's sex drive is at its strongest when their young.

>>"oh thank god"

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>tfw they don't even ask anymore
>everyone has given up on you
I know I used to hate this shit, but now it kind of feels worse

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Your family dont know what its like to date girls in this day and age user. They assume everyone should already be married and have their 4th kid by their 20s

this was a pretty decent hgame

This, well I aim to prove them right and remain a loser virgin until I die.

no one in my family tell me that. They know I am too old to be marry, too old to have a girlfriend and too old to have a good job. The just keep it quiet and tell me "how was your day?" or shit like that.

i

How do I get a gf on the pretense that I hate sex and it makes me extremely uncomfortable? I'm not gay, trust me i've tried.

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I feel the opposite, I hate when people ask me the same thing repeatedly, even if its months apart.

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What a depressing fucking thread

My parents keep asking if there are any girls that like me. They know I'm a KV (I never invited a girl over for them to meet since I never had a gf) but they keep asking if they'll ever have grandchildren. I just want them to accept it instead of hoping for nothing.

the rough part is when they stop asking for good in your late 20s, and your friends and family just never talk about anyone's relationships around you as they know you're a lost cause. the last holdout being your mum when she's very, very drunk, begging you to get a gf

They used to do it. Now my mother is passive-agresive about it and just tries to make me feel bad without directly speak about it. My father never gave a fuck so whatever.

She's just messing with you. I hear that all the time from my mom's friends but that doesn't mean they want to fuck me.

Welcome to the life of an average user, it's not a rosy life for most of us

>tfw cant get a gf
>i'm too mind numbingly dull to get a normal girl and the weird ones, like me, are all lesbians or just hate men.
>the weird ones that have some sort of normal to them are all taken or shut themselves off from the world
>the only girls I've ever been with have been prostitutes and craigslist sluts back when the personals were still there.
>all at the ripe ole age of 23

I fucked up somewhere in my life, y'all. How do I fix this?

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Sucks to be you guys, I have a more successful married older brother so I get a free pass

>I dont get it bros, is the taste of old women that low? is the taste of younger women that high? Or am I just retared?
Older women like to sport-fuck younger men, it's a boost to their ego that they're still desirable.
Younger women generally chase after older men instead of guys their own age because they want a guy with money / his own place / a car that they can mooch off of.

Both. older women appreciate different kinds of dudes more than young women do.

>middle school
>mom picking me up
>sees me talking to a girl
>mom gives her my phone number

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Open fire.

>the last holdout being your mum when she's very, very drunk, begging you to get a gf
it hurts not for you because we already know we are gonna die virgins but our mothers doesnt deserve that

Based mom.

Please tell me the aftermath user.
How hard was to look at that girl again? Was the laughter deafening?

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That pic hurts my brain on so many levels.

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You cant blame her user. She just wanted you to be a happy young boy.
Mothers are like that.

Not gonna lie at this point I would totally fuck one of my mother's friends

>tfw no mommy gf

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date a retarded "asexual" from twitter or tinder

May have been embarrassing, but she wanted you to get laid. She was lookin out for you. Kudos to your mom, mine was too drugged up to consider anything like that

>HS
>have female friend over after school to do homework and watch toonami
>mom makes us snacks and gives me condoms
>friend sees
>gives me weird look
>th-thanks mom

>She just wanted you to be a happy young boy.
Now I'm sad for her since she never managed to make that happen.

Desu I’d probably kill myself if that happened to me.

IT'S JUST NOT FAIR

Right there with you man.

5 more years and you become a wizard.

I'm really sorry mom. I'm sorry that you have a failure for a son! You deserved better...

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Man I used to flirt with one of my gym mates' mom infront of him. We both knew it made him extremely embarased, and was fun as fuck. She was a single mother and if I wasnt so insecure about my dick at that time I would have tried to smash her milf pussy

I just want a cute girl to snuggle with and fall asleep next to, asexual girls are fucking weirdos why does it have to be this way

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Because she wasnt supposed to. She didnt do the right thing but she had good intentions.
You are the one who should make it happen, she should be supporting you from behind the scenes if anything.

become an hero

>tfw never EVER had a gf or female interested in me for the 25 years I've been alive.

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Do you masturbate?
If no, then fair enough.
If yes, you have deeper emotional issues you should resolve first.

I am already a wizard

I’m a fairly good looking guy but I just have a horrible personality and a charismatic void so women despise me, and I meet they’re hostility in kind

Such is the life of an incel huh guys

Cause life kinda sucks like that man. Sometimes we cant all have that cute normal girl we want

>was like that for 29 years
>get my first gf a week after my 30th birthday
>still together after 5 years and as happy as the first one
There is always hope user, you gotta deal with yourself first, and things will find its own place

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>30th birthday
Did you tell her that you never had a gf before or you just played dumb?

>Had 2 girls ask me out
>Say no because i’m scared of change and doing new things even though I wanted a girlfriend
>Everybody thinks i’m gay now
I fucking hate myself

>get gf
>spend some lovely days together
>she presents herself to my parents as my gf because she is kind of old fashioned despite being my age
>days later she says she will dedicate time to herself and her family
>has been ignoring me for days now
rip, the shortest relationship ever.

You should be happy I came out of my cave because I'm only one in this family that knows how to cook. If you got the shit I asked for a the store I could've made you a decent meal for once. I can't make chicken alfredo without the fucking chicken. They actually forgot the noodles but it was funnier to say chicken. I'm going back to my cave now.

Whats wrong with their heads?

>I’m a fairly good looking guy but I just have a horrible personality and a charismatic void
This but my main problem is that I don't like to talk and I can't git gud at it. It's a pain in the ass.

How to get a gf with the impending doom of eternal wizardry
>find out what scares you the most
>understand why
>hit the gym and work on your issues
>get motivation from some shonen show
>live life by cornering yourself into situations where you confront your demons

Oh don't worry i'm well aware that i'm deeply emotionally fucked up it isn't a question. I just don't know how to start a relationship with someone on the pretense that i'm not gonna want sex, at least not for a long while.

>Asexual girls are too weird, but pure christian girls either aren't pure or are super boring also i'm critical of christianity and probably wouldn't get along with her.
meh

>he-hewo...

>light /ss/ sluts live in your house through contrived means and rob you of your virginity
>all the sex scenes are really samey
This game had potential

>20
>mom's friend is in the house
>tells me she want a calm boyfriend like me for her roastie daughter
>give me her phone number
never called because it was way too weird of a situation and I had no chance at all

Fuck you mom

>tfw had two interested in me once upon a time.
>they both quickly lost it once they realized how fucking boring and uninteresting I am.

I can't help that i'm such a meme spouting fag that it pretty much where all my humor comes from, and my interests are all nerdy as shit that it's hard to find people who are also into it. I'm well aware that there are people into nerd shit but I live in a nowhere town where theres legit no fucking place to go for that

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Told her as soon as it was relevant in the conversation, and also told her what pushed me into that situation and how it made me feel, unironically as in animes.
This will leave you in an extremely vulnerable position, and if she is a cunt, she will hurt you like noone ever did. But you wont know until you expose yourself.
The harder part for me in life was letting others to be in a position where they would hurt me, but its the only way to have meaningful relationships.

>mom's friend comes to the house with ther dauther
>"Wow user look at you, so young and yet you still focus on your future and dont spend your time doing drugs or getting drunk. My daugther needs a boyfriend like you" *wink*
>her daughter just said no with her look
everytime anons

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me but I'm 31.

>I just don't know how to start a relationship with someone
You should ask yourself why you want that in life.
You dont have to be on your prime to meet your gf, but you need to be past the point where you start dealing with your own shit.
Girls dig guys who face and struggle with their own issues.

Not him, but at that point, lying is the best course of action. Don't make a big deal about it. Low-ball the number and admit it's been a year or two since your last encounter. This will take you out of "creepy desperate" territory but also excuse your potentially poor performance.

Thats pathetic ya fatso cuck

>girl shows interest in me
>don't realize that she did until a year after it happened
>that was the only time a girl was ever interested in me

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>some distant family comes over to give invitations for a wedding
>the invitations mention that you can bring a partner
>mom says "WELL I DOUBT THAT user IS GOING TO BRING SOMEONE"
>everyone looks at me
>the guy's fiancee tries to defuse it by saying "w-well he has 3 months left, he'll find someone for sure"
>my parents just fucking burst into laughter
i ended up not going.

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>Yeah haha very funOH GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACES!?

>>get motivation from some shonen show
Man is this just bait or does it actually work?

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How did you do it senpai? It's few months till my 30th b'day.

Never present girls to your mom. Pretend it's something sacred, it'll make hoes mad. And honestly your parents don't need to see your hookup, have some respect.

>my parents just fucking burst into laughter
They're pretty mean

>my parents just fucking burst into laughter
Oh dear...

>>my parents just fucking burst into laughter

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I'm gonna burst into treats

I know what you mean user, but It wasnt my idea. She was the one pushing it.

It's true. DBZ inspired a good amount of people on /fit/.

I would just fucking call them out on their shit right then and there on the table desu.
I dont let anyone push my shit around like that. even if its family.
They dont have the right to disrepect you like that.

I know the feeling.

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My issue isn't actually that I can't start relationships, I've been in multiple ones. But every single one ends miserably because I start to realize she wants sex and I just nope the fuck out of it from fear and paranoia. I've slept with girls multiple times and every time it's just miserable because my mind never stops thinking about how she probably wants something more and I just break it off. I had multiple opportunities to start relationships in the past year and just completely did not try or even consider trying. I, surprisingly enough, get along with girls really well. I like talking to them and enjoy their company up until I feel that sex will be involved. I either just need to get over my sexual phobia or find someone who will be ok with it and I don't know which path to take.

As lame as sounds, there is truth in there. As stupid as it sounds you gotta live life as if your life depended on it, and push yourself out of your comfort zone.
The hardest part probably is telling apart things you genuinely dont enjoy from issues you have to work on. Its about improving yourself, not living a miserable life doing things you just hate.