Meanwhile, on the USG Yea Forumsshimura

Meanwhile, on the USG Yea Forumsshimura...

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You have to bump your own threads OP to get them going.

Party in the vents at 930 tonight guys, everyone's invited!
-the Engineers

Why can't I finish 2? I am at the part where you return to the ishimura, but I just dropped it and feel no compulsion to finish it. I loved the first.

Just keep going

I fucjking hate those guys in hydroponics always saying "Make us wholemeal"

My religion is not a fucking joke

STOP SCREAMING I AM JERKING OFF
DO NOT MAKE ME STOP JERKING OFF

The Ishimura sequence is great, it actually re-uses the old holographic assets. If you aren't in love, I wouldn't keep going, but being fully upgraded in these games is a lot of fun. If you ever do decide to get to 3, expect grotesque action and not horror at all, and try to enjoy it that way.

>being fully upgraded in these games is a lot of fun.
And that is why I really got into 1, to be honest. In 2 I can't shake the feeling that I royally screwed up the upgrade pathing/weapon choices, since each fight is a total slog. I'm playing on Survivalist.

Well maybe if you unitologists acted a little less batshit crazy and stopped sending random crew members to Medical because they insulted your religion and you just HAD to stab them, the other departments would probably act a lot nicer.

t. Med bay

You can mostly rely on the plasma cutter like you did in 1, but consider upgrading the Ripper too. That thing destroys tough enemies and the little shit kids with very little ammo use.

Should I just bank other weapons and keep those two out to consolidate ammo drops?

Just do your job meat medic. you guys get paid way too much for how easy your job is.

You lazy pricks couldn't even save the captain and he wasn't even stabbed by one of us

I tried playing it too, only made it as far as the part with church of unitology and the super fast zombies. Just feels way too fast paced and like an action game for me. I think if I hadn't played the first game then I wouldnt mind but I cant help comparing the two. Also i dont like isaac talking

>tfw no necromorph gf

user, that's the high point in the series IMO and fucking amazing. What the fuck?

You rang?

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why hasn't someone purchased the rights to this? Why is ea so shit.

Ammo drops are random regardless IIRC. Look up Negative Atmosphere.

Hey guys engineer here, just got assigned to this ship, what can I expect

*PEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEWPEW*

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Every once in a while there's this weird dude who likes to slowly run around the whole ship in a full engineer suit, breathing heavily and stomping on things angrily. Just ignore him and remember to restock the ammo crates after he stomps on them and you'll eventually get used to it

Can upper management PLEASE tell the Engineers to stop hoarding the power nodes!?
Those are ONLY for powering ESSENTIAL equipment like doors and generators!
Power nodes are not cheap and we have to catalogue each one in use or out of commission!
NOT TO BE CRUDELY SHOVED INTO YOUR STUPID PLASMA SLICER OR ION CUTTER OR WHATEVER THE HELL THEIR CALLED!!!

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lmao stay mad cargocuck
I need it to do my job

Don't do it, bro

>finally get clearance to use stasis
>spend weeks saving up so I have extra for personal use
>it'stime.hologram
>start jerking it
>gonna use stasis when i orgasm to make that shit last forever
>only like 5 minutes in, realize I'm about to cum
>shit, dont have stasis module set up yet
>fumble around for stasis module, sweating profusely
>gotta make this work, don't have enough stasis for more than one try
>finally get module on
>open the floodgates
>because I was so anxious about trying to get stasis ready in time I cant really aim, just mash button as fast as I can
That was an hour ago, my hand is still stuck to my dick because I used way too much stasis on it. Took me this long just to write this post, what do I do bros? PLEASE don't tell management, I want to keep my stasis clearance. Dont want to walk down to medbay with my dick stuck to my hand either, but I have no idea when this will wear off. Please help

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Get fucked faggot

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I just found a opened crate full of clown shoes down in storage.
I think we've been compromised.

Noted, copied, and sent to upper management for assistance. :^)

>Report submitted to CEC! This window will close in 3 seconds...

user NO FUCK YOU I WANT MY STASIS FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIOOOOOOIOOOOOO

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Could you fuckers at least take a shower before coming through. Just this morning I had to clean up what I think was some sort of congealed red mold. Now I have to look in every nook and cranny and hope there isn’t more.

Dude, try not to panic, but did you notice how long those guys took to reply? It hasn't been hours, it's been minutes. You stasised your entire body, not just your hand. For whatever reason when you stasis the stasis unit itself, it's like a double negative and speeds you up like crazy. You're gonna lose a few years of your life with the world in slow motion. I'm sorry.

Anyone wanna play some Zero G Basketball?

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Either way my hand is still stuck deathgripping my dick please tell me when this will wear off

Man people need to stop fucking with you. You aren't going to lose years of your life, your time perception is just all fucked up because you stasis'd your whole body and you should go back to your normal retarded self in a few more minutes. Please don't run to the med bays or inform anyone you did this and just try for that stasis big money shot in a month or so, you won't die i promise :^)

>Negative Atmosphere
I'll keep my eye on that

Medbay fag here, in these cases we usually amputate and then replace with cloned tissue.
Just come down to the fucking med bay

Your new dick is gonna be super sensitive tho

just pretend to be some eldritch horror and medbay will come to you or those weird cult guys. either way its your best option if you want to avoid being known as that guy who got his hand stuck on his dick

Leave the xenomorphs to me.

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But wait, wouldn't stasising my dick have the same effect as stasasing my hand? Why am i not feeling the big money shot right now?
How much would it cost out of my salary for you to make my dick bigger

She's really cute and is always texting me but I just don't know how I feel about her mouth opening vertically. The third leg is definitely a bonus though

If you got Peng we can talk
just FYI the biggest dick we got on file was cloned from a unifaggot
If you got an issue with that I can get the second biggest dick but it's a full 4 inches shorter than the biggest one

user I only just got clearance for stasis did you really think I'd be able to afford Peng?
I know a guy who says he can hook me up, not sure when thatll happen since my right hand is still down for the count. I assume this is an under the counter sort of deal?

it's ok to be scared user

Just went to the showers
Lights kept turning off
They turned back on
Saw these
Excuse me but, WHAT THE FUCK
One of them bit me and scurried off!
I'm probably gonna need stitches
Do we have an exterminator on call?

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Hey lads stop shitting in my tomato plants, bet it was that engineer

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sorry bro, need those nodes to upgrade my stasis module to make my orgasms last for hours

*STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP*
AHEM
FUCK NECROMORPHS
FUCK UNITOLOGY
AND MOSTLY IMPORTANTLY
FUCK YOUR MARKER

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Technically, yeah it's under the table but literally no one else showed up to work today. I had to call an engineer to fix the lights. I'm pretty bored right now so you come down and I'll hook you up and you can pay me later

oh wow an engineer comes in uninvited and acts like a retarded asshole.
I would've NEVER seen that coming

How many of the women on this ship have had their genitals gene modded to have dicks
Asking for a friend

SEETHE HARDER UNIKEK

have sex

Working my way down there now, having to go through all these sanitation chambers is getting pretty annoying, the lights always go out and there's tons of screaming from the vents. Seriously, who the fuck designed this ship?

make us whole

You can fuck my marker anytime you want gayboy

Make us wholemeal

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>ship has a retarded design
>engineers are retarded

I'll let you figure that one out.

Who the fuck left this in R&D? Is this a fucking joke? Johnson was being an asshole and put it on and turned Smith inside out with it, get it the hell out of here you morons.

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